Don't bring thin skin to the internet
I had an all-too-frequent argument this evening. This resulted (as it occasionally does) with the other person storming off in a huff, all offended. The conversations usually goes something like this:
Him: I like $broken_technology.
Me: $broken_technology is very seldom a good idea. Why do you like it?
Him: Because $common_misconception.
Me: Actually, that's a common misconception. $correction.
Him: But are there any $not_broken_technology things that do $common_misconception_thing.
Me: Yes, plenty. For example, $thing.
Him: Um, but $other_misconception.
Me: Actually, $other_correction.
Him: You people are a pack of technobigots! *storms off in a huff*.
Part of the problem is that I suffer from SIWOTI Syndrome. I find it incredibly difficult to just let people sabotage themselves because they believe something that is not true. Part of the problem is that I want to teach people to think rationally about their behaviours and motivations, because it's the only way to avoid muddling around in a fug of lies and excuses. Part of the problem is that I get too emotionally invested in trying to better the lives of strangers when I can see exactly where they are making their mistakes and have the data to back it up.
Also, to be perfectly honest, I like to be right. I like to dispense wisdom. I enjoy being the expert people come to when they have a programming problem. Being the authority is nice. It makes me all warm and fuzzy when people do something better because of advice I gave them.
The real problem is that people don't like to be wrong. Thinking is hard. The misconceptions are comfortable old friends. The work they have done under those misconceptions represents effort that they may need to throw away. This makes people defend their misconceptions. It also makes them see an attack on a misconception as an attack on them personally.
This is where the subject comes in. As soon as you take anything on the internet personally, you're opening yourself up to pain. It hurts me when my laboriously collected wisdom is written off as bigotry. It hurts you a lot more when you take a request for data backing up your assertions as "getting ganged by zealots".
I don't really have a good answer. I could probably be a bit more diplomatic, but it's difficult to say "you're not making sense" in a way that doesn't offend those with delicate sensibilities. I could just ignore people being wrong, but occasionally I do enlighten some poor soul who has merely been led astray by the propaganda machines and is capable of becoming a useful and productive member of the community. (That's not to say the others aren't, just that they need to shed some ego first.)
Another side effect of my SIWOTI is that I often come across as arrogant. Sometimes this is me misjudging the level at which to pitch my explanations and coming across as patronising (if I pitch too low) or elitist (if I pitch too high). Then if I ask a few questions to judge background, I'm interrogating instead of helping. Sometimes it's because I tell people they're wrong. If I kept quiet or only answered the questions asked, even when they pointed to deeper misunderstandings or flaws, I could avoid these issues. But then people would keep being wrong. And we can't have that.
Him: I like $broken_technology.
Me: $broken_technology is very seldom a good idea. Why do you like it?
Him: Because $common_misconception.
Me: Actually, that's a common misconception. $correction.
Him: But are there any $not_broken_technology things that do $common_misconception_thing.
Me: Yes, plenty. For example, $thing.
Him: Um, but $other_misconception.
Me: Actually, $other_correction.
Him: You people are a pack of technobigots! *storms off in a huff*.
Part of the problem is that I suffer from SIWOTI Syndrome. I find it incredibly difficult to just let people sabotage themselves because they believe something that is not true. Part of the problem is that I want to teach people to think rationally about their behaviours and motivations, because it's the only way to avoid muddling around in a fug of lies and excuses. Part of the problem is that I get too emotionally invested in trying to better the lives of strangers when I can see exactly where they are making their mistakes and have the data to back it up.
Also, to be perfectly honest, I like to be right. I like to dispense wisdom. I enjoy being the expert people come to when they have a programming problem. Being the authority is nice. It makes me all warm and fuzzy when people do something better because of advice I gave them.
The real problem is that people don't like to be wrong. Thinking is hard. The misconceptions are comfortable old friends. The work they have done under those misconceptions represents effort that they may need to throw away. This makes people defend their misconceptions. It also makes them see an attack on a misconception as an attack on them personally.
This is where the subject comes in. As soon as you take anything on the internet personally, you're opening yourself up to pain. It hurts me when my laboriously collected wisdom is written off as bigotry. It hurts you a lot more when you take a request for data backing up your assertions as "getting ganged by zealots".
I don't really have a good answer. I could probably be a bit more diplomatic, but it's difficult to say "you're not making sense" in a way that doesn't offend those with delicate sensibilities. I could just ignore people being wrong, but occasionally I do enlighten some poor soul who has merely been led astray by the propaganda machines and is capable of becoming a useful and productive member of the community. (That's not to say the others aren't, just that they need to shed some ego first.)
Another side effect of my SIWOTI is that I often come across as arrogant. Sometimes this is me misjudging the level at which to pitch my explanations and coming across as patronising (if I pitch too low) or elitist (if I pitch too high). Then if I ask a few questions to judge background, I'm interrogating instead of helping. Sometimes it's because I tell people they're wrong. If I kept quiet or only answered the questions asked, even when they pointed to deeper misunderstandings or flaws, I could avoid these issues. But then people would keep being wrong. And we can't have that.