Unspoken Loyalty
"Ian Pascua" (7:00:12 PM): hey jerm
jerminator63 (7:00:18 PM): hey
"Ian Pascua" (7:00:42 PM): and, how have you been
"Ian Pascua" (7:00:44 PM): busy guy
"Ian Pascua" (7:00:45 PM): sheesh
jerminator63 (7:00:48 PM): been burnt out
jerminator63 (7:00:54 PM): and sulky
jerminator63 (7:00:55 PM): haha
jerminator63 (7:01:12 PM): u?
"Ian Pascua" (7:01:37 PM): busy, and wiped out
jerminator63 (7:01:45 PM): that's life
jerminator63 (7:01:47 PM): hum
"Ian Pascua" (7:04:42 PM): yeap
"Ian Pascua" (7:09:37 PM): do u still go to the gym?
jerminator63 (7:10:14 PM): nope
"Ian Pascua" (7:10:57 PM): ohh
"Ian Pascua" (7:10:58 PM): ok nm
jerminator63 (7:11:00 PM): u?
"Ian Pascua" (7:11:31 PM): 24 hour
"Ian Pascua" (7:11:33 PM): did it two days ago
"Ian Pascua" (7:11:35 PM): but i havent gone yet
jerminator63 (7:11:37 PM): ooh ic
jerminator63 (7:11:46 PM): geez ian
jerminator63 (7:11:52 PM): i'm so ugly
jerminator63 (7:12:00 PM): and i don't know what to do with myself anymore
jerminator63 (7:13:03 PM): hmm
jerminator63 (7:13:15 PM): i'm getting lonely
"Ian Pascua" (7:14:57 PM): well....the way I see it
"Ian Pascua" (7:15:14 PM): youve excluded yourself from friends because of school
"Ian Pascua" (7:15:19 PM): SCHOOL is your friend
jerminator63 (7:15:24 PM): yeah i know
jerminator63 (7:15:28 PM): i've realized that
"Ian Pascua" (7:15:29 PM): i just dont say anything
jerminator63 (7:15:38 PM): and now i'm trying to get back to people
"Ian Pascua" (7:15:39 PM): honestly, i get bored when you talk about school
jerminator63 (7:15:40 PM): and well
jerminator63 (7:15:49 PM): i don't deserve to have friends because i ditched all of them
jerminator63 (7:16:04 PM): but i just want to make my parents proud
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:19 PM): well, you know
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:31 PM): as long as you are successful, youre mom will be proud
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:39 PM): youre mom is already proud that you graduated
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:46 PM): and the fact that youre even still going to school
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:49 PM): you arent in jail
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:51 PM): youre not a rapist
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:57 PM): shell always be proud of you
"Ian Pascua" (7:21:05 PM): remember that
"Ian Pascua" (7:22:58 PM): ask her if shes proud of you
"Ian Pascua" (7:23:02 PM): i guarantee she already is
jerminator63 (7:23:04 PM): i know that
"Ian Pascua" (7:23:13 PM): then whats this "i wanna make my parents proud" stuff
"Ian Pascua" (7:23:18 PM): you already did it, so cross it off your list
jerminator63 (7:23:29 PM): i have so much more to go
jerminator63 (7:24:34 PM): thanks for telling it how it is though
jerminator63 (7:24:37 PM): i really appreciate it
"Ian Pascua" (7:25:07 PM): dude, unlike other friends
"Ian Pascua" (7:25:10 PM): even if we dont talk for years
"Ian Pascua" (7:25:20 PM): im still gonna talk to you like i just met up with you yesterday
jerminator63 (7:25:28 PM): haha
jerminator63 (7:25:31 PM): yeah
jerminator63 (7:25:43 PM): unspoken loyalty
"Ian Pascua" (7:25:51 PM): for sure nigger
jerminator63 (7:26:17 PM): you still work at starbucks?
"Ian Pascua" (7:26:20 PM): yeap
jerminator63 (7:26:55 PM): still with justine?
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:04 PM): yup
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:09 PM): half a year and goin strong
jerminator63 (7:27:14 PM): haha
jerminator63 (7:27:16 PM): how exciting
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:18 PM): hehe
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:21 PM): its a challenge
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:26 PM): cuz ya knoe, since her dad dying
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:37 PM): she gets very sad randomly
jerminator63 (7:28:53 PM): aw
jerminator63 (7:29:02 PM): that must've been horrible
jerminator63 (7:29:15 PM): but i guess that's just another reality we have to face as we get older
jerminator63 (7:29:21 PM): our loved ones start to die off
"Ian Pascua" (7:29:35 PM): yea
"Ian Pascua" (7:29:52 PM): but yeah jeremy, about your schoolin, take it easy
"Ian Pascua" (7:29:53 PM): slow down
jerminator63 (7:29:56 PM): yeah
"Ian Pascua" (7:29:57 PM): u have time
jerminator63 (7:30:00 PM): i dropped 10 units
"Ian Pascua" (7:30:02 PM): you are only young once
jerminator63 (7:30:15 PM): trying to get back to civilization
jerminator63 (7:30:58 PM): and only very few respond
jerminator63 (7:31:02 PM): it's sad really
jerminator63 (7:31:05 PM): but it's a lesson learned
"Ian Pascua" (7:32:05 PM): wait.........what?
"Ian Pascua" (7:32:11 PM): u lost me
jerminator63 (7:32:18 PM): haha
jerminator63 (7:32:33 PM): i 'm trying to get back to people, to friends
jerminator63 (7:32:38 PM): or people i once called friends
jerminator63 (7:32:51 PM): and only a few return the phone calls
jerminator63 (7:33:05 PM): it makes me sad
jerminator63 (7:33:10 PM): but i learned my lesson
"Ian Pascua" (7:34:44 PM): yea well
"Ian Pascua" (7:34:50 PM): people move on and dont look back
"Ian Pascua" (7:44:08 PM): i lost all that "faith"
"Ian Pascua" (7:44:13 PM): or grace
"Ian Pascua" (7:44:14 PM): er wutever
jerminator63 (7:44:16 PM): i'm sure we'll find it again
jerminator63 (7:44:22 PM): it's just we're in such a transition stage right now
jerminator63 (7:53:56 PM): things will loosen up once we get that degree
"Ian Pascua" (7:54:08 PM): yeap
jerminator63 (7:54:47 PM): who do you normally hang out with nowadayS?
"Ian Pascua" (7:55:19 PM): justine
"Ian Pascua" (7:55:23 PM): starbucks co workers
"Ian Pascua" (7:55:29 PM): thats about it
jerminator63 (7:56:16 PM): ooh ic
jerminator63 (7:56:20 PM): sounds good
"Ian Pascua" (7:56:24 PM): yep
"Ian Pascua" (7:56:25 PM): you?
jerminator63 (7:56:37 PM): kat juan and matt
jerminator63 (7:56:45 PM): and a few honors kids from sac
jerminator63 (7:56:54 PM): the hs choir kids lately
jerminator63 (7:57:01 PM): just cause it makes me feel good to be around them
jerminator63 (7:57:46 PM): their lives haven't launched yet
"Ian Pascua" (7:58:18 PM): oh ic
"Ian Pascua" (7:58:22 PM): i stay clear of rowland folk
"Ian Pascua" (7:58:26 PM): its just weird
jerminator63 (7:58:30 PM): i'm so happy that you have justine for you though
jerminator63 (7:58:42 PM): it's hard to find someone to just be yourself with
jerminator63 (7:59:41 PM): i feel guilty trying to seek "time" with kat and juan
jerminator63 (7:59:51 PM): cause their lives are dedicated to their kid
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:11 PM): well
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:16 PM): youd think its all fun and great having a gf
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:20 PM): i mean, yeah, it is nice
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:29 PM): but its like
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:33 PM): i dunno how to explain it
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:46 PM): the only one who i can really REALLY rely on, is me
jerminator63 (8:00:56 PM): ooh ic
jerminator63 (8:01:02 PM): that's how i feel right now
jerminator63 (8:01:10 PM): and i get lonesome
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:25 PM): justine is to me, like i am to you
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:31 PM): she's watching over me
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:35 PM): making sure im not doing anything stupid
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:44 PM): but really when it comes down to it, I make my decisions
jerminator63 (8:01:51 PM): ooh ic
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:51 PM): shes like my parents
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:53 PM): and my friends
jerminator63 (8:01:56 PM): eek
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:57 PM): well, REAL friends
"Ian Pascua" (8:02:10 PM): ya know?
jerminator63 (8:02:15 PM): yeah
jerminator63 (8:02:22 PM): i suppose she does it cause she cares
jerminator63 (7:00:18 PM): hey
"Ian Pascua" (7:00:42 PM): and, how have you been
"Ian Pascua" (7:00:44 PM): busy guy
"Ian Pascua" (7:00:45 PM): sheesh
jerminator63 (7:00:48 PM): been burnt out
jerminator63 (7:00:54 PM): and sulky
jerminator63 (7:00:55 PM): haha
jerminator63 (7:01:12 PM): u?
"Ian Pascua" (7:01:37 PM): busy, and wiped out
jerminator63 (7:01:45 PM): that's life
jerminator63 (7:01:47 PM): hum
"Ian Pascua" (7:04:42 PM): yeap
"Ian Pascua" (7:09:37 PM): do u still go to the gym?
jerminator63 (7:10:14 PM): nope
"Ian Pascua" (7:10:57 PM): ohh
"Ian Pascua" (7:10:58 PM): ok nm
jerminator63 (7:11:00 PM): u?
"Ian Pascua" (7:11:31 PM): 24 hour
"Ian Pascua" (7:11:33 PM): did it two days ago
"Ian Pascua" (7:11:35 PM): but i havent gone yet
jerminator63 (7:11:37 PM): ooh ic
jerminator63 (7:11:46 PM): geez ian
jerminator63 (7:11:52 PM): i'm so ugly
jerminator63 (7:12:00 PM): and i don't know what to do with myself anymore
jerminator63 (7:13:03 PM): hmm
jerminator63 (7:13:15 PM): i'm getting lonely
"Ian Pascua" (7:14:57 PM): well....the way I see it
"Ian Pascua" (7:15:14 PM): youve excluded yourself from friends because of school
"Ian Pascua" (7:15:19 PM): SCHOOL is your friend
jerminator63 (7:15:24 PM): yeah i know
jerminator63 (7:15:28 PM): i've realized that
"Ian Pascua" (7:15:29 PM): i just dont say anything
jerminator63 (7:15:38 PM): and now i'm trying to get back to people
"Ian Pascua" (7:15:39 PM): honestly, i get bored when you talk about school
jerminator63 (7:15:40 PM): and well
jerminator63 (7:15:49 PM): i don't deserve to have friends because i ditched all of them
jerminator63 (7:16:04 PM): but i just want to make my parents proud
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:19 PM): well, you know
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:31 PM): as long as you are successful, youre mom will be proud
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:39 PM): youre mom is already proud that you graduated
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:46 PM): and the fact that youre even still going to school
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:49 PM): you arent in jail
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:51 PM): youre not a rapist
"Ian Pascua" (7:20:57 PM): shell always be proud of you
"Ian Pascua" (7:21:05 PM): remember that
"Ian Pascua" (7:22:58 PM): ask her if shes proud of you
"Ian Pascua" (7:23:02 PM): i guarantee she already is
jerminator63 (7:23:04 PM): i know that
"Ian Pascua" (7:23:13 PM): then whats this "i wanna make my parents proud" stuff
"Ian Pascua" (7:23:18 PM): you already did it, so cross it off your list
jerminator63 (7:23:29 PM): i have so much more to go
jerminator63 (7:24:34 PM): thanks for telling it how it is though
jerminator63 (7:24:37 PM): i really appreciate it
"Ian Pascua" (7:25:07 PM): dude, unlike other friends
"Ian Pascua" (7:25:10 PM): even if we dont talk for years
"Ian Pascua" (7:25:20 PM): im still gonna talk to you like i just met up with you yesterday
jerminator63 (7:25:28 PM): haha
jerminator63 (7:25:31 PM): yeah
jerminator63 (7:25:43 PM): unspoken loyalty
"Ian Pascua" (7:25:51 PM): for sure nigger
jerminator63 (7:26:17 PM): you still work at starbucks?
"Ian Pascua" (7:26:20 PM): yeap
jerminator63 (7:26:55 PM): still with justine?
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:04 PM): yup
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:09 PM): half a year and goin strong
jerminator63 (7:27:14 PM): haha
jerminator63 (7:27:16 PM): how exciting
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:18 PM): hehe
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:21 PM): its a challenge
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:26 PM): cuz ya knoe, since her dad dying
"Ian Pascua" (7:27:37 PM): she gets very sad randomly
jerminator63 (7:28:53 PM): aw
jerminator63 (7:29:02 PM): that must've been horrible
jerminator63 (7:29:15 PM): but i guess that's just another reality we have to face as we get older
jerminator63 (7:29:21 PM): our loved ones start to die off
"Ian Pascua" (7:29:35 PM): yea
"Ian Pascua" (7:29:52 PM): but yeah jeremy, about your schoolin, take it easy
"Ian Pascua" (7:29:53 PM): slow down
jerminator63 (7:29:56 PM): yeah
"Ian Pascua" (7:29:57 PM): u have time
jerminator63 (7:30:00 PM): i dropped 10 units
"Ian Pascua" (7:30:02 PM): you are only young once
jerminator63 (7:30:15 PM): trying to get back to civilization
jerminator63 (7:30:58 PM): and only very few respond
jerminator63 (7:31:02 PM): it's sad really
jerminator63 (7:31:05 PM): but it's a lesson learned
"Ian Pascua" (7:32:05 PM): wait.........what?
"Ian Pascua" (7:32:11 PM): u lost me
jerminator63 (7:32:18 PM): haha
jerminator63 (7:32:33 PM): i 'm trying to get back to people, to friends
jerminator63 (7:32:38 PM): or people i once called friends
jerminator63 (7:32:51 PM): and only a few return the phone calls
jerminator63 (7:33:05 PM): it makes me sad
jerminator63 (7:33:10 PM): but i learned my lesson
"Ian Pascua" (7:34:44 PM): yea well
"Ian Pascua" (7:34:50 PM): people move on and dont look back
"Ian Pascua" (7:44:08 PM): i lost all that "faith"
"Ian Pascua" (7:44:13 PM): or grace
"Ian Pascua" (7:44:14 PM): er wutever
jerminator63 (7:44:16 PM): i'm sure we'll find it again
jerminator63 (7:44:22 PM): it's just we're in such a transition stage right now
jerminator63 (7:53:56 PM): things will loosen up once we get that degree
"Ian Pascua" (7:54:08 PM): yeap
jerminator63 (7:54:47 PM): who do you normally hang out with nowadayS?
"Ian Pascua" (7:55:19 PM): justine
"Ian Pascua" (7:55:23 PM): starbucks co workers
"Ian Pascua" (7:55:29 PM): thats about it
jerminator63 (7:56:16 PM): ooh ic
jerminator63 (7:56:20 PM): sounds good
"Ian Pascua" (7:56:24 PM): yep
"Ian Pascua" (7:56:25 PM): you?
jerminator63 (7:56:37 PM): kat juan and matt
jerminator63 (7:56:45 PM): and a few honors kids from sac
jerminator63 (7:56:54 PM): the hs choir kids lately
jerminator63 (7:57:01 PM): just cause it makes me feel good to be around them
jerminator63 (7:57:46 PM): their lives haven't launched yet
"Ian Pascua" (7:58:18 PM): oh ic
"Ian Pascua" (7:58:22 PM): i stay clear of rowland folk
"Ian Pascua" (7:58:26 PM): its just weird
jerminator63 (7:58:30 PM): i'm so happy that you have justine for you though
jerminator63 (7:58:42 PM): it's hard to find someone to just be yourself with
jerminator63 (7:59:41 PM): i feel guilty trying to seek "time" with kat and juan
jerminator63 (7:59:51 PM): cause their lives are dedicated to their kid
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:11 PM): well
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:16 PM): youd think its all fun and great having a gf
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:20 PM): i mean, yeah, it is nice
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:29 PM): but its like
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:33 PM): i dunno how to explain it
"Ian Pascua" (8:00:46 PM): the only one who i can really REALLY rely on, is me
jerminator63 (8:00:56 PM): ooh ic
jerminator63 (8:01:02 PM): that's how i feel right now
jerminator63 (8:01:10 PM): and i get lonesome
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:25 PM): justine is to me, like i am to you
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:31 PM): she's watching over me
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:35 PM): making sure im not doing anything stupid
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:44 PM): but really when it comes down to it, I make my decisions
jerminator63 (8:01:51 PM): ooh ic
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:51 PM): shes like my parents
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:53 PM): and my friends
jerminator63 (8:01:56 PM): eek
"Ian Pascua" (8:01:57 PM): well, REAL friends
"Ian Pascua" (8:02:10 PM): ya know?
jerminator63 (8:02:15 PM): yeah
jerminator63 (8:02:22 PM): i suppose she does it cause she cares