Fanfic: Long Days, Short Stories: Domestic Disturbance (Zootopia, no warnings)
Zoo Adam-12, we’ve got a Code 237-D, Savannah Central , Clawhauser reported over the radio. The big cheetah sounded apologetic, Sorry guys, look like it’s in your apartment building, the Grand Pangolin Arms.
“Acknowledged, Grand Pangolin Arms,” Judy called back.
“Aw, shit,” Nick muttered. “I hate, hate, hate these kind of calls.”
“Tell me about it,” Judy agreed sadly. Domestic felonies were one of the worst part of policing, the bunny knew. She was willing to put that up next to being shot at, because at least being shot at didn’t happen anywhere near as often.
They pulled up to their apartment building, to find Mrs. Dharma, their landlady, waiting impatiently outside, standing beside a broken flatscreen TV that was lying facedown on the sidewalk.
“Hello, Mrs. Dharma,” Judy greeted, as she and Nick got out of their police cruiser. She looked down at the busted flatscreen, up at the line of windows parallel to the impact point, and noted which were open. “Bucky and Pronk?” she asked.
“Bucky and Pronk,” Miss Dharma agreed. “You tell those boys that they are going too far this time.”
Judy sighed and nodded. “Will do, ma’am.”
“And that I am not going to be the one cleaning up this mess!”
“Yes, ma’am.” Judy squared her shoulders and marched up the stairs, Nick at her heels. When she reached the door of the kudu and oryx’s apartment, she gave it a sharp rap with her knuckle and shouted, “ZPD! Open up!”
“We’re busy!” Bucky called back.
“This is totally a family thing!” Pronk added.
Nick rolled his eyes, and called out, “Either open the door, or we kick the door open, guys. You want that on your damage deposit?”
“We’re good now!” Bucky shouted.
“There’s a dead TV on the sidewalk that says otherwise,” Judy added. “Now open up!”
They heard the sound of rattling latches, and the door cracked open to reveal the face of Bucky Oryx-Anderson, the kudu part of the male couple, looking at them. “Look, I’m sorry we got a bit loud,” he said, in rare moment of apology.
“May we come inside, sir?” Nick asked. Taking Bucky’s lack of argument as assent, he slipped under the kudu’s arm and through the door, Judy following. They found Pronk, an oryx, leaning against the wall, glaring at them. As Judy had seen from outside, the window to their tiny apartment was open, and there was a large empty space in the living room’s entertainment center where the TV had sat.
“You can’t come in here without permission,” Pronk pointed out.
“We’re already in here,” Nick pointed out, avoiding the question. “Now what the heck is going on with you guys?”
“It was a stupid argument,” Bucky began.
“It wasn’t stupid, you were stupid!” Pronk interrupted.
Judy stuck two finger in her mouth and blew a loud whistle. “ One at a time, ” she shouted. In a more normal tone of voice she added, “Bucky, you first.”
“We were watching TV,” Bucky said.
“ I had the remote,” Pronk put in.
Nick pointed a warning finger. “Bucky is the one talking right now.”
Bucky went on, “So anyway, Pronk turns on Netfangs and says he wants to watch Star Wars: Rhino One . I told him that it was a lousy movie and we should watch Star Tracks: Beyond .”
“Which is a really lousy movie!” Pronk butted in again.
“No, Rhino One is lousy a movie!” Bucky shot back.
“ Guys!” Judy shouted. When they’d settled down again, she continued, “You both know it’s possible to like more than one franchise at a time, right?”
Bucky and Pronk looked at each other, then to Nick and Judy. “ No, that’s stupid , ” they replied in unison.
“Moving along,” Nick interrupted. “Pronk, what happened after that?”
“Bucky tried to grab the remote,” Pronk said. His eyes started shifting around, not looking at the two officers. “We kinda wrestled for it, and bumped into the TV… which… fell out… of the entertainment center.... and then the window.”
Judy and Nick both glanced at the entertainment center, then the window, which was at least eight feet away, and then back to Bucky and Pronk. “Fell out,” Judy repeated, letting the dubiousness of that statement sit there for a bit.
“Yeah,” Pronk said, keeping his gaze averted from hers.
“Totally,” Bucky agreed, doing the same.
“And when it was ‘bumped’ and ‘fell out’ did either of you bother to look if there were any mammals on the sidewalk below?” she asked pointedly. “Maybe small mammals, like mice ?”
Bucky and Pronk both suddenly turned pale. “It’s my fault,” Pronk said abruptly. “It was all my fault.”
“No, it was mine ,” Bucky insisted.
Pronk turned to face him. “Look, just shut up …” he began to shout.
“Okay boys,” Nick interrupted again. “Why don’t all four of us take a walk downstairs, and see if we’ll be arresting you for second-degree mammalslaughter, alright?”
Judy let Nick lead the way, while she brought up the rear, the uncharacteristically quiet Bucky and Pronk between them. When they reached the sidewalk, she asked Miss Dharma, “Has anyone disturbed the crime scene since we arrived?” Both of the tall prey winced, not missing the nuance.
“No, no one has,” Miss Dharma said. “I want those two boys to clean it up.”
“It may be more complicated than that,” Nick said. He went over to their cruiser and reached in through the driver’s side window, grabbing a pair of latex gloves from the box they kept on the dash. He made a show of slipping them over his paws, then kneeled down to take careful hold of the edge of the TV, lifting it slightly as he peered underneath it, letting out a small, “ Mmm…” Then he flipped it over, revealing nothing more than a few bit of shattered glass. Both the mammals visibly slumped in relief.
“Looks like you boys got lucky,” Judy said, then added, “ This time.”
“Um, we’re sorry?” Bucky said quietly.
“And what else?”
“We’ll clean up the mess, and take it to the dump,” Pronk added.
“The recycling center, we mean,” Bucky corrected.
“Right,” Pronk agreed.
“Very good,” Judy. She brought out her notepad and started writing. “In the meantime, we’re citing you both for disturbing the peace, littering, and illegal dumping. That sound fair to you?”
“That’s fair,” Pronk said quickly.
“Totally,” Bucky agreed.
“Great.” She smiled. “Now don’t make us come back here while we’re on shift, okay?”
“Yes, officer,” they both said in unison. They glanced at each other and then picked the TV up, carrying it down the sidewalk towards their car.
“You think they learned their lesson?” Nick asked, as they heard Bucky and Pronk start to shout at each other, “ You’re moving too fast!” “No you’re moving too slow!”
“I give it a week before they’re back at it,” Judy said, smiling.
“That’s what I like about you, Carrots, You’re always the optimist.”
“Acknowledged, Grand Pangolin Arms,” Judy called back.
“Aw, shit,” Nick muttered. “I hate, hate, hate these kind of calls.”
“Tell me about it,” Judy agreed sadly. Domestic felonies were one of the worst part of policing, the bunny knew. She was willing to put that up next to being shot at, because at least being shot at didn’t happen anywhere near as often.
They pulled up to their apartment building, to find Mrs. Dharma, their landlady, waiting impatiently outside, standing beside a broken flatscreen TV that was lying facedown on the sidewalk.
“Hello, Mrs. Dharma,” Judy greeted, as she and Nick got out of their police cruiser. She looked down at the busted flatscreen, up at the line of windows parallel to the impact point, and noted which were open. “Bucky and Pronk?” she asked.
“Bucky and Pronk,” Miss Dharma agreed. “You tell those boys that they are going too far this time.”
Judy sighed and nodded. “Will do, ma’am.”
“And that I am not going to be the one cleaning up this mess!”
“Yes, ma’am.” Judy squared her shoulders and marched up the stairs, Nick at her heels. When she reached the door of the kudu and oryx’s apartment, she gave it a sharp rap with her knuckle and shouted, “ZPD! Open up!”
“We’re busy!” Bucky called back.
“This is totally a family thing!” Pronk added.
Nick rolled his eyes, and called out, “Either open the door, or we kick the door open, guys. You want that on your damage deposit?”
“We’re good now!” Bucky shouted.
“There’s a dead TV on the sidewalk that says otherwise,” Judy added. “Now open up!”
They heard the sound of rattling latches, and the door cracked open to reveal the face of Bucky Oryx-Anderson, the kudu part of the male couple, looking at them. “Look, I’m sorry we got a bit loud,” he said, in rare moment of apology.
“May we come inside, sir?” Nick asked. Taking Bucky’s lack of argument as assent, he slipped under the kudu’s arm and through the door, Judy following. They found Pronk, an oryx, leaning against the wall, glaring at them. As Judy had seen from outside, the window to their tiny apartment was open, and there was a large empty space in the living room’s entertainment center where the TV had sat.
“You can’t come in here without permission,” Pronk pointed out.
“We’re already in here,” Nick pointed out, avoiding the question. “Now what the heck is going on with you guys?”
“It was a stupid argument,” Bucky began.
“It wasn’t stupid, you were stupid!” Pronk interrupted.
Judy stuck two finger in her mouth and blew a loud whistle. “ One at a time, ” she shouted. In a more normal tone of voice she added, “Bucky, you first.”
“We were watching TV,” Bucky said.
“ I had the remote,” Pronk put in.
Nick pointed a warning finger. “Bucky is the one talking right now.”
Bucky went on, “So anyway, Pronk turns on Netfangs and says he wants to watch Star Wars: Rhino One . I told him that it was a lousy movie and we should watch Star Tracks: Beyond .”
“Which is a really lousy movie!” Pronk butted in again.
“No, Rhino One is lousy a movie!” Bucky shot back.
“ Guys!” Judy shouted. When they’d settled down again, she continued, “You both know it’s possible to like more than one franchise at a time, right?”
Bucky and Pronk looked at each other, then to Nick and Judy. “ No, that’s stupid , ” they replied in unison.
“Moving along,” Nick interrupted. “Pronk, what happened after that?”
“Bucky tried to grab the remote,” Pronk said. His eyes started shifting around, not looking at the two officers. “We kinda wrestled for it, and bumped into the TV… which… fell out… of the entertainment center.... and then the window.”
Judy and Nick both glanced at the entertainment center, then the window, which was at least eight feet away, and then back to Bucky and Pronk. “Fell out,” Judy repeated, letting the dubiousness of that statement sit there for a bit.
“Yeah,” Pronk said, keeping his gaze averted from hers.
“Totally,” Bucky agreed, doing the same.
“And when it was ‘bumped’ and ‘fell out’ did either of you bother to look if there were any mammals on the sidewalk below?” she asked pointedly. “Maybe small mammals, like mice ?”
Bucky and Pronk both suddenly turned pale. “It’s my fault,” Pronk said abruptly. “It was all my fault.”
“No, it was mine ,” Bucky insisted.
Pronk turned to face him. “Look, just shut up …” he began to shout.
“Okay boys,” Nick interrupted again. “Why don’t all four of us take a walk downstairs, and see if we’ll be arresting you for second-degree mammalslaughter, alright?”
Judy let Nick lead the way, while she brought up the rear, the uncharacteristically quiet Bucky and Pronk between them. When they reached the sidewalk, she asked Miss Dharma, “Has anyone disturbed the crime scene since we arrived?” Both of the tall prey winced, not missing the nuance.
“No, no one has,” Miss Dharma said. “I want those two boys to clean it up.”
“It may be more complicated than that,” Nick said. He went over to their cruiser and reached in through the driver’s side window, grabbing a pair of latex gloves from the box they kept on the dash. He made a show of slipping them over his paws, then kneeled down to take careful hold of the edge of the TV, lifting it slightly as he peered underneath it, letting out a small, “ Mmm…” Then he flipped it over, revealing nothing more than a few bit of shattered glass. Both the mammals visibly slumped in relief.
“Looks like you boys got lucky,” Judy said, then added, “ This time.”
“Um, we’re sorry?” Bucky said quietly.
“And what else?”
“We’ll clean up the mess, and take it to the dump,” Pronk added.
“The recycling center, we mean,” Bucky corrected.
“Right,” Pronk agreed.
“Very good,” Judy. She brought out her notepad and started writing. “In the meantime, we’re citing you both for disturbing the peace, littering, and illegal dumping. That sound fair to you?”
“That’s fair,” Pronk said quickly.
“Totally,” Bucky agreed.
“Great.” She smiled. “Now don’t make us come back here while we’re on shift, okay?”
“Yes, officer,” they both said in unison. They glanced at each other and then picked the TV up, carrying it down the sidewalk towards their car.
“You think they learned their lesson?” Nick asked, as they heard Bucky and Pronk start to shout at each other, “ You’re moving too fast!” “No you’re moving too slow!”
“I give it a week before they’re back at it,” Judy said, smiling.
“That’s what I like about you, Carrots, You’re always the optimist.”