Scenes to Remember: "Pitch"-ing in to Help

Dec 12, 2016 06:24

From my as yet to be written remake screenplay of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians."

Scene: Newscaster set. As the newscast goes on, ticker at the bottom of the screen displays various messages, "Wooden block and toy train stocks tumble. NYSE suspends trading" "UN states "Give sanctions more time."" "Jack Frost, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy assure world "Toys will be delivered on time.""

Newscaster: With Santa's kidnapping by Martians confirmed, other major myth logical figures have been vocal in their support for Santa, including from at least one unexpected quarter.

Scene: Cut to a dark cave lit by bursts of flame in the background. Standing in front of the camera is Pitch (Bill Corbett), in the traditional red devil suit, face paint, and plastic pitchfork) and screen label "Pitch, Spokesdevil for the Forces of Darkness"

Pitch: While of course Lord Lucifer has significant philosophical differences with Mr. Claus, this sort of unwarranted attack on a beloved mythological figure cannot be condoned, and the forces of Hell pledge their full support behind Santa and his wife in this time of crisis.

silly, santa claus conquers the martians, holidays, random thought table, mst3k

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