Shadow of Her Sins, Chapter Nine (cont)
Notes: This post was supposed to be the final entry in Ali's story, but it's going on longer than I'd anticipated. Aunt Razi and Co. are refusing to stay in the background.
Next time: The Trial
Ali's brief safe harbor in Salli's arms ended late the next morning, as she went back to the long job of cleaning up after Bloody Margo's terror/kidnapping strike. Communications were fully restored with the aid of the destroyer's crew, the Governor's Mansion was bulldozed after retrieving all that was salvageable from it, and on the third day Lady Salli rose from her sickbed to act in her capacity as the highest ranking noblevixen and therefore the Mother Goddess' Voice, to lead the service for the colony's dead and lighting the pyre to incinerate their bodies. The smell of that burning seemed to hang over the colony for a week, as the ashes were carefully swept up to be scattered over the memorial garden, which until three days earlier had been Salli's beloved arbor.
For a few days after that, things settled back in the old routine. Salli appropriated a second residence to use as her office, while the reconstruction of the Governor's Mansion commenced, following the plans for the permanent structure that originally were supposed to be implemented five years down the road. Ali moved her few belongings, including her weapons locker, into Salli's place. Her new status as Salli's beloved seemed to be almost universally approved of by the colony's population, much to Ali's bemusement.
“They need something positive to latch onto, as they recover from this crisis,” Salli told her the morning after the memorial service. “Many of the workers are from my family's domain back home, and they remember how I withdrew from the world after divorcing Kev. They see our romance as a bright flower rising up from the ashes of our recent disaster, my happiness a reward long delayed for my own suffering.”
“But they've got their own problems,” Ali objected. “Why worry about us?”
“Seeing happiness in someone else can make you forget your own problems,” Salli explained. “When you're upset by something, how does it make you feel when I smile?”
“Oh,” Ali said. Somethings you couldn't argue with, she supposed.
Harder to deal with was her own family, now that Ali had a family. They seemed to all want to talk to her, to ask how she was doing, and didn't seem to understand when she told them she didn't want to discuss, say, the past twenty years of her life. On Salli's advice she finally told them that she couldn't discuss anything due to her upcoming trial. Which led to discussing the trial itself unfortunately, and Aunt Razi fairly exploding at Lu for arresting her, much in the manner that Salli had.
“Your own sister? The day you finally found her?” Aunt Razi shouted.
“He was doing his job,” Ali said, intervening. “And if it hadn't been him arresting me, it would have been someone else, since he would have been asking questions about my background anyway.”
The discussion had finally been derailed after Aunt Razi had presented her with a present from her nieces and nephews who had stayed back on Foxen Prime while most of the adults traveled to Greenholme to see her. It was a large card made of folded poster board, the outside decorated with bright rainbow and flower stickers. When Ali had opened it, she found a large crayon drawing of herself, surrounded by what looked like two dozen smaller foxen, each one with a name written under their own picture. At the bottom of the card were the simple words, “WE ARE SO GLAD WE FOUND YOU.”
She ended up crying so hard she nearly made herself sick, long wracking sobs that went on for ten minutes, until she somehow ended up in Aunt Razi's embrace.
“There now, Ali,” her aunt had said, wiping up her tears. “There now. It's been a very long time, but we're together now.”
“But... what should I be doing?” Ali asked her. “I don't how to be anyone's relative. I don't how to be an auntie.”
Aunt Razi laughed softly. “It's not something they teach you in a class. You just pick it up along the way. You'll meet them all eventually. Though not all at once, I promise.”
“All right. It's just...” Ali sighed. “It just feels odd. Lu showed me a picture of myself in my mother's arms, and it didn't... seem real... seem like something connected to me at all. What if I can't make that connection with them?”
“You're already making connections. You have me, and your brother Lu, and the others here with you now. It may take a little time, but once you give yourself a chance, you'll get to know us, as we will learn about you.”
“All right, thank you. Do you think you could help me start?”
“Certainly, dear. How do you want to go about it?”
Ali swallowed, her throat suddenly gone dry. “Could you tell me about my mother, please?”
Razi nodded, her eyes growing bright with tears. “Of course.”
* * *
To Be Concluded (soon).
Next time: The Trial
Ali's brief safe harbor in Salli's arms ended late the next morning, as she went back to the long job of cleaning up after Bloody Margo's terror/kidnapping strike. Communications were fully restored with the aid of the destroyer's crew, the Governor's Mansion was bulldozed after retrieving all that was salvageable from it, and on the third day Lady Salli rose from her sickbed to act in her capacity as the highest ranking noblevixen and therefore the Mother Goddess' Voice, to lead the service for the colony's dead and lighting the pyre to incinerate their bodies. The smell of that burning seemed to hang over the colony for a week, as the ashes were carefully swept up to be scattered over the memorial garden, which until three days earlier had been Salli's beloved arbor.
For a few days after that, things settled back in the old routine. Salli appropriated a second residence to use as her office, while the reconstruction of the Governor's Mansion commenced, following the plans for the permanent structure that originally were supposed to be implemented five years down the road. Ali moved her few belongings, including her weapons locker, into Salli's place. Her new status as Salli's beloved seemed to be almost universally approved of by the colony's population, much to Ali's bemusement.
“They need something positive to latch onto, as they recover from this crisis,” Salli told her the morning after the memorial service. “Many of the workers are from my family's domain back home, and they remember how I withdrew from the world after divorcing Kev. They see our romance as a bright flower rising up from the ashes of our recent disaster, my happiness a reward long delayed for my own suffering.”
“But they've got their own problems,” Ali objected. “Why worry about us?”
“Seeing happiness in someone else can make you forget your own problems,” Salli explained. “When you're upset by something, how does it make you feel when I smile?”
“Oh,” Ali said. Somethings you couldn't argue with, she supposed.
Harder to deal with was her own family, now that Ali had a family. They seemed to all want to talk to her, to ask how she was doing, and didn't seem to understand when she told them she didn't want to discuss, say, the past twenty years of her life. On Salli's advice she finally told them that she couldn't discuss anything due to her upcoming trial. Which led to discussing the trial itself unfortunately, and Aunt Razi fairly exploding at Lu for arresting her, much in the manner that Salli had.
“Your own sister? The day you finally found her?” Aunt Razi shouted.
“He was doing his job,” Ali said, intervening. “And if it hadn't been him arresting me, it would have been someone else, since he would have been asking questions about my background anyway.”
The discussion had finally been derailed after Aunt Razi had presented her with a present from her nieces and nephews who had stayed back on Foxen Prime while most of the adults traveled to Greenholme to see her. It was a large card made of folded poster board, the outside decorated with bright rainbow and flower stickers. When Ali had opened it, she found a large crayon drawing of herself, surrounded by what looked like two dozen smaller foxen, each one with a name written under their own picture. At the bottom of the card were the simple words, “WE ARE SO GLAD WE FOUND YOU.”
She ended up crying so hard she nearly made herself sick, long wracking sobs that went on for ten minutes, until she somehow ended up in Aunt Razi's embrace.
“There now, Ali,” her aunt had said, wiping up her tears. “There now. It's been a very long time, but we're together now.”
“But... what should I be doing?” Ali asked her. “I don't how to be anyone's relative. I don't how to be an auntie.”
Aunt Razi laughed softly. “It's not something they teach you in a class. You just pick it up along the way. You'll meet them all eventually. Though not all at once, I promise.”
“All right. It's just...” Ali sighed. “It just feels odd. Lu showed me a picture of myself in my mother's arms, and it didn't... seem real... seem like something connected to me at all. What if I can't make that connection with them?”
“You're already making connections. You have me, and your brother Lu, and the others here with you now. It may take a little time, but once you give yourself a chance, you'll get to know us, as we will learn about you.”
“All right, thank you. Do you think you could help me start?”
“Certainly, dear. How do you want to go about it?”
Ali swallowed, her throat suddenly gone dry. “Could you tell me about my mother, please?”
Razi nodded, her eyes growing bright with tears. “Of course.”
* * *
To Be Concluded (soon).