A temporary break from the backdated posts.

[jeremysensei]

Well, it finally happened. I have been informed by a former friend on here that the reason I was un-friended was because I have too much angst and drama. Drama. Just when you think you are free of it, it sneaks up on you. Alas, I don't think I am going to be able to keep said drama and angst out of these next few posts (as it involves being with someone I haven't seen in a fucking year), so from this entry and beyond, all entries (save the very short ones) are going to be behind a cut with the main emotion and/or topic as the cut name. (That's right. My journal is now "cut for her pleasure".... Or "his pleasure"...Or "It's pleasure". I don't discriminate. A circumcised journal.) I mean, far be it for me to actually have real emotions other than being all funny and sexy to read about. I just wonder how people select their friends if all they look for are the funny posts.
Almost like:

Live Journal Friend Search: Good morning.
New Potential User: Yes, I would like to know what are the friends like?
Live Journal Friend Search: Well, we have friends of all kinds here.
New Potential User: Well, I would like an interesting friend. Do you have ones that post funny things?
Live Journal Friend Search: Yes, we have those.
New Potential User: Funny things only?
Live Journal Friend Search: Well, I don't know about that....
New Potential User: Er, never mind, never mind. How about friends who post things like "A Hundred and One Ways to Have Sex"?
Live Journal Friend Search: Which user?
New Potential User: An Irish gentleman whose name eludes me for the moment.
Live Journal Friend Search: Well, not off the top of my head, but I'm sure...
New Potential User: Oh, well, not to worry, not to worry. Can you help me find some kind of place where people are moked?
Live Journal Friend Search: Ah, yes. Many of those.
New Potential User: Now that is M O K E D. Discussions about roll playing certain games where you go around killing people.
Live Journal Friend Search: I think you'll find that mock has a 'c' in it.
New Potential User: No, this particular thing is without the 'c'
Live Journal Friend Search: Well, I think you'll find that mock has a 'c' in and without the 'c' it would be mook.
New Potential User: No, not that one. M O K.
Live Journal Friend Search: In that case, no we don't.
New Potential User: Funny, you've got a lot of friends here.
Live Journal Friend Search: Yes, but we don't have friends or communities about mocks without the 'c'.
New Potential User: Okay. What about communities about bands?
Live Journal Friend Search: Yes we have those.
New Potential User: Vicious Fish Nipples?
Live Journal Friend Search: I beg your pardon?
New Potential User: The band. Vicious Fish Nipples. A friend of mines band who are kind of like Creed, but with an emo and hard-core rap twist. Are they on here?
Live Journal Friend Search: I don't think they are. In fact, I am quite positive.
New Potential User: What about Lions and Man Unite.
Live Journal Friend Search: What is their genre?
New Potential User: Also another Christian/emo/hard-core rap group.
Live Journal Friend Search: No, we don't have anything like that on here. That combination isn't very popular.
New Potential User: Christmas Eymo with a 'y'? The British group?
Live Journal Friend Search: Definitely not.
New Potential User: *Moves to close window button* Sorry to trouble you.
Live Journal Friend Search: Not at all.
New Potential User: Good morning.
Live Journal Friend Search: Good morning.
New Potential User: *stops and goes back to search bar* OHH!
Live Journal Friend Search: *patiently* Yes?
New Potential User: What about a friend or community about indi movie?
Live Journal Friend Search: Yes, we have those.
New Potential User: Done with camcorders that haven't been released?
Live Journal Friend Search: You mean digial camera movies that are put up on the web?
New Potential User: No, old camcorders that people keep in their houses and only watch themselves.
Live Journal Friend Search: No, we don't have that and perhaps to save time I should mention that we don't have anything about flying air fresheners, hamsters who win the Indy 500, cats who can swim the English Channel, or vacuum cleaners that can do handstands on top four chairs and an invisible crate. Why don't you try Journalfen.net?
New Potential User: I did. They sent me here.
Live Journal Friend Search: Did they.
New Potential User: I wonder....
Live Journal Friend Search: Oh, do go on. Please.
New Potential User: Do you have any users who talk about toothbrushes for athletes foot?
Live Journal Friend Search: No, sorry. Funny, we have a lot of friends on here. Well, I musn't keep you idling here.
New Potential User: But I just saw them earlier.
Live Journal Friend Search: What? WHAT!?
New Potential User: That user that was just on the screen.
Live Journal Friend Search: This one?
New Potential User: Yes.
Live Journal Friend Search: *spells user name slowly*
New Potential User: Yes.
Live Journal Friend Search: Well, yes that user is on here.
New Potential User: The expurgated version...
Live Journal Friend Search: .....Excuse me?
New Potential User: The expurgated version?
Live Journal Friend Search: The expurgated version of this user?
New Potential User: The one without the drama.
Live Journal Friend Search: But, they all have drama. These are real people, drama is in all of their lives.
New Potential User: Well, I don't like drama. I only want to laugh when I read other peoples things.
Live Journal Friend Search: All right! I'll remove it!! *rips out drama entries* Any other kinds of entries you don't like?
New Potential User: The "emo" ones.
Live Journal Friend Search: Emo, emo, emo. Here we are *rip*. Any more?
New Potential User: The angst?
Live Journal Friend Search: The angst. The angst. The angst. Here we are. There you are. No drama. No emo. No angst. Now friend em.
New Potential User: I can friend that one, there is only 20 entries.
Live Journal Friend Search: *cries*
New Potential User: Ah, I wonder if you have...
Live Journal Friend Search: Go on. Ask me anything. We have lots of friends here. This is a friend search.
New Potential User: Does Satan have an account on here?
Live Journal Friend Search: No, no, we don't have that one, funny!
New Potential User: What about one about box fans?
Live Journal Friend Search: No, no, no, try me again!
New Potential User: Oh, I know. Someone who likes good-smelling bathrooms.
Live Journal Friend Search: No, no, no, no, no,...What? WHAT??????
New Potential User: Someone who likes good-smelling bathrooms.
Live Journal Friend Search: Good smell..." YES!!!YES!!! WE'VE GOT IT!! I-I've seen it somewhere!!! I know it!!! WAIT!! WAIT!! (triumphant) YES!!!!!! Here we are, someone who likes good-smelling bathrooms. There's the user. Now FRIEND EM!!
New Potential User: I don't have the money for a paid account.
Live Journal Friend Search: You don't need a paid account.
New Potential User: I don't have any account.
Live Journal Friend Search: I'll set one up for you.
New Potential User: I don't have the time.
Live Journal Friend Search: You can use my account.
New Potential User: I don't know how to friend people.
Live Journal Friend Search: RIGHT!!!! I'll friend em FOR you! Here you are, here is your friend. Here is the password for this account.
New Potential User: Wait, wait, wait!
Live Journal Friend Search: What? What?!? WHAT?!? WHAT???!!
New Potential User: I don't have a computer.
Live Journal Friend Search: (staggeringly long pause; very quietly) You don't...have a computer. (pause) RIGHT!!! Sit down!! Sit down!! Sit!! Sit!! Are you sitting comfortably??? Right!!! *reads said users journal (funny posts only)....(all 10 of them)*

Inspired by Monty Python and
by CaffeinatedJedi over at Journalfen.net
Now. Aren't you glad you read an entry that wasn't just funny shit?

Now, on with the telling of the trip.