If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore...
You know, one of the most interesting (and most satisfying) things about getting older is how little you start to care what other people think of you. Not that I'm necessarily "old" at this point -- although sometimes it feels that way, lol -- but for me personally, there's a pretty huge difference between my mental state now versus my mental state 10 or 15 years ago. Although I was never someone who was overly concerned about what other people thought of me, and I never really conformed to popular trends or succumbed to peer pressure or cared about being "cool" -- that was not always easy to do as a teenager and a young adult. Those things always kind of weighed on my mind, and I had to make a conscious decision to reject changing my behavior, choices, tastes, appearance, etc. just to make other people like me better. Whereas now... I guess I just don't really think about that stuff anymore. There's no baggage associated with that part of my life at this point, which has been a nice development. I suppose this is a normal change, as people typically tend to mellow out a bit as they get older. And I suppose I've been a pretty laid-back, easygoing guy for most of my life anyway. But still, I'm often surprised at how little I'm affected by the opinions (or perceived opinions) of my friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances and the world in general. Now obviously, there's a real danger in going too far down this road. If taken too far, this type of attitude could make you an aloof, apathetic or even cold-hearted person who doesn't care at all about how their actions may be negatively impacting the people around them. And it could also make you a self-absorbed, inconsiderate weirdo who just does whatever they want, whenever they want, social norms and expectations be damned. But when applied within reason, this kind of "zero fucks given" approach can be very liberating. When you're younger and more impressionable, there's always a certain amount of pressure to be liked and accepted and to assert your personal identity at every possible opportunity -- even if that "identity" is most likely just some pre-existing model that will grant you membership into your peer group of choice. But at the age of 32, all of that superficial bullshit has just melted away for me. Sure, the opinions of my close friends and family will always be important to me, as they should be, but even those individuals don't exert too much influence over who I am as a person. Maybe all of this is a result of having been "settled down" for so long (not that I was ever some wild party animal, haha, but you know what I mean). Being a married adult with a baby on the way might do something to your mental state where you start to focus your priorities elsewhere, i.e. on your own family. But I suppose I've been moving more and more in this direction for years. Even when I first started working at C & G in 2007, I felt a certain amount of pressure to try to make friends and socialize with my new co-workers. However, that's no longer really the case anymore. I mean, I have a few work friends and I feel like I have perfectly good relationships with the rest of my colleagues, but it really doesn't go beyond that. I'm still a very private person who's somewhat guarded when it comes to talking about my personal life and my passions, hobbies, tastes, etc. And I guess I just sort of prioritize my home life, my family, my handful of close friends, my musical interests, my work -- and that's about it. I really don't have time for much else anymore, no time to worry about extraneous bullshit that's not worth the headache. It's a busier life than the one I once lived, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Being busy makes you focus on the things in life that really matter and push aside the things that don't -- like what other people think of you.