Oh shit, there's a bear...
It hurts right now, again. I was doing pretty good. These past few days I've been able to handle the stress and my emo-shuns well enough that it wasn't a big deal. But you know, right now I just feel lonely. Matte dare ga sabishii. And really theres nothing to fill that void. I'm hit with these truths that I know, that I'd swear on my life to. I would do anything for her. I would do anything. Can a lot of people say that? I would put any amount of effort, any amount of work, everyday for the rest of my life if it meant we could be together again. Its not even desperation, or any of those other dark emotions that well up inside of people when this stuff happens. Its just the truth. Its just how I feel. I wish I could just talk face to face with her and tell her. "Hello my first name is distance, and I really don't care if I never wake up again." (Haha you my boy, Bill.) I know deep down that being a "better guy" is going to improve my quality of life. I don't regret my decesion. It feels good. I feel like, even If I can't be with her, I'm painting the (fred)town her favorite color by acting honorably. Not to mention, I really have changed a lot. I guess sometimes you really do need to just own up, and act like an adult, and I'd say when your future is on the line, its a pretty good time to start. Love is an amazing thing. I've never felt like this before, just so on fire, its what you do to me. I've felt so good, I've felt so bad. I've felt safe, I've felt in danger of losing everything. I'm going to show her...because you know, talk is so cheap...cheaper then anything else. I'm under the influence. My Blood-Ashley-Content is way beyond the legal limits. I'm praying for you. I'm praying for everyone. We all need it. This bear named "life" just attacked, hand me that shotgun and chair, we'll fight him together.
"You and me can set them free together. One hand on each others hand, the other on our weaponary. You and me can set them free together. All I need is your love, all I need is your love, all I need is your love, and a revoloution..."
~j3r3~
P.S. I've decided on my Tattoo. I either want it on my left arm, or left back shoulder. Its going to be a Phoenix with the Latin phrase "Ex Libris Deus." But I definitly want to find a good design, and I'm not going to rush into it. I haven't decided whether I want just black, or color yet either, so it'll still take some time.
"You and me can set them free together. One hand on each others hand, the other on our weaponary. You and me can set them free together. All I need is your love, all I need is your love, all I need is your love, and a revoloution..."
~j3r3~
P.S. I've decided on my Tattoo. I either want it on my left arm, or left back shoulder. Its going to be a Phoenix with the Latin phrase "Ex Libris Deus." But I definitly want to find a good design, and I'm not going to rush into it. I haven't decided whether I want just black, or color yet either, so it'll still take some time.