this movie has gotta end
i don't take a lot of pictures. i should, but i usually end up breaking the camera. but i collect things. and i'm realizing the value of that. pictures capture a particular moment- often a forced smile, the same face. a staged event, but not the scene. objects require you to retell the story. relive the moment. it's similar to movies vs books...in that books require you to form the characters in your own mind, while movies already create that specific person for you.
i'm looking at the bottle cap from my first beer with my sister. and the football ticket from the ohio state game. or candy wrappers from 4th grade. all these objects were exchanged at a specific point. but they allow me to relive that exchange. this nostalgia grows daily. clinging to past selves and past emotions.
this year has been the metaphorical 'second' my life flashes before my eyes. i've rediscovered so many lost thoughts and feelings. i feel like i've tapped a lot of the events that molded my specific personality. it's like i suddenly awoke from a long dream, and i can recall so many details, and i want to crawl back to bed and go back into that dream. but the moment i 'woke up' sent me into another dream, and eventually, i'll be trying to remember this.
i think i just miss the sound of pattering rain as i fall asleep.
does this post require locking? i'm starting to lose the distinction between my private/non-reality security/personal security/friends only/public journals. since it's 6:30am, i'll leave it public.
i'm looking at the bottle cap from my first beer with my sister. and the football ticket from the ohio state game. or candy wrappers from 4th grade. all these objects were exchanged at a specific point. but they allow me to relive that exchange. this nostalgia grows daily. clinging to past selves and past emotions.
this year has been the metaphorical 'second' my life flashes before my eyes. i've rediscovered so many lost thoughts and feelings. i feel like i've tapped a lot of the events that molded my specific personality. it's like i suddenly awoke from a long dream, and i can recall so many details, and i want to crawl back to bed and go back into that dream. but the moment i 'woke up' sent me into another dream, and eventually, i'll be trying to remember this.
i think i just miss the sound of pattering rain as i fall asleep.
does this post require locking? i'm starting to lose the distinction between my private/non-reality security/personal security/friends only/public journals. since it's 6:30am, i'll leave it public.