I'm already dead and this is hell
http://www.imalreadydeadandthisishell.com/ < is a blog I really love. I wish this guy didn't stop posting! great writer and very funny.
ANYWAYZZZZZZ
I'm going through a major transition at the moment and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I left a good job (that was driving me fucking mad), a cheap apartment (owned by a batshitcrazy biatch), and the beautiful city of New York. I was doing okay, but I thought/think....I can do better.
My ultimate dream is to own my own company and be self employed. My short-term goal is to do my own thing on the side and snag a 9-5 that I love and that can bankroll my goals. Optimistic? Yes. I always have been. Right now is the first time in my life I've really struggled.
Problems:
1. I'm broke as all hell. Any savings I had from my last job has dried up and I'm starting to feel dried up :(
2. The company I want to work for wouldn't hire me on the spot so I'm interning...for free :(. I'm feeling very used. Spending money on gas and food with no income. Woe as me, pity party, ect.
3. I'm feeling very resentful towards my significant other for various reasons. Primarily because he doesn't do anything to better our situation.
Even though I've always thought of California as home, I'm on the verge of regretting moving here. I miss my independence, I miss my paycheck, I miss my coworkers! I miss my family and friends. I miss the ability to hop drunkenly on a train and end up having a ball somewhere random. When I made the decision to move here, I never pictured what I'm going through now. If everything works out, of course this will have been worth it but right now I'm really on the edge. Part of me just wants to just give up and do something random. I think "life is so fucking hard". then I think, if i'm interning unpaid, I must be pretty damn privileged, then again!! this shit is not fucking sustainable. I'm basically going mad again but now for worse reasons. I'm so fucking frustrated. I wish I could win the lottery or at least just get a goddamn JOB! I'm fucking good at what I do!
ANYWAYZZZZZZ
I'm going through a major transition at the moment and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I left a good job (that was driving me fucking mad), a cheap apartment (owned by a batshitcrazy biatch), and the beautiful city of New York. I was doing okay, but I thought/think....I can do better.
My ultimate dream is to own my own company and be self employed. My short-term goal is to do my own thing on the side and snag a 9-5 that I love and that can bankroll my goals. Optimistic? Yes. I always have been. Right now is the first time in my life I've really struggled.
Problems:
1. I'm broke as all hell. Any savings I had from my last job has dried up and I'm starting to feel dried up :(
2. The company I want to work for wouldn't hire me on the spot so I'm interning...for free :(. I'm feeling very used. Spending money on gas and food with no income. Woe as me, pity party, ect.
3. I'm feeling very resentful towards my significant other for various reasons. Primarily because he doesn't do anything to better our situation.
Even though I've always thought of California as home, I'm on the verge of regretting moving here. I miss my independence, I miss my paycheck, I miss my coworkers! I miss my family and friends. I miss the ability to hop drunkenly on a train and end up having a ball somewhere random. When I made the decision to move here, I never pictured what I'm going through now. If everything works out, of course this will have been worth it but right now I'm really on the edge. Part of me just wants to just give up and do something random. I think "life is so fucking hard". then I think, if i'm interning unpaid, I must be pretty damn privileged, then again!! this shit is not fucking sustainable. I'm basically going mad again but now for worse reasons. I'm so fucking frustrated. I wish I could win the lottery or at least just get a goddamn JOB! I'm fucking good at what I do!