contemplating my life
x-posted on myspace
so, i've just turned 23, graduated from college about a year ago, and i still don't have that "real job". you know, that perfect job that you are supposed to have worked so hard for all four years of college. well let me just say this. not everyone knows what they really want out of life. i for one don't. i'm really not sure if i ever have. i went to college because it was expected of me, it wasn't a choice not to go in my family. now that I'm done, I realize that yes, I loved college, met great people, learned great and new things, realized what I actually want to do in life and realized that it will never actually happen for me. but that's life. so now, here i am, working a low-paying job for now, paying my own bills, and figuring out who i am. is it a bad thing that I haven't figured out my place in the world? i don't think so. someday, i know i will. but right now is not someday. i'm perfectly happy doing what i am doing, and i will figure things out when it is right for me. I don't think it's right for people to judge my situation, because i am after all, still figuring myself out.
my family is important to me, and my friends are too. i've been hurt too many times to count by friends, but i always try to forgive them. sometimes friendships cannot be mended, but most times, people forgive each other. and i feel that that is something true friends will always do. i hate being in uncomfortable situations, and that's why i try to figure out what the problem is. does this make the situation worse? sometimes. but i feel it's better to try and fix what is wrong rather to let it build and build until permanent damage is done. i want all my friends to know that i love them, and will always be there for them, and that i would never betray them. i'm just not that kind of person. i just want others to like me. is that shallow? i don't think so. but maybe i am wrong. i have been wrong about things before.
right now in my life, i think it's all about self discovery. so many things have changed in the past year, that i feel like i have done a complete 180. and you know what, i'm ok with that. i'm having fun right now, and i'm on top of my finances and i always pay my bills. i'm young, just let me be 23 and make bad decisions. how else am i going to learn what is right or wrong? sometimes people don't always see eye to eye on everything, but that's ok! because if everybody was the same the world would be boring. it's like my dad said today: you have the whole world in front of you, and i think i do, and i intend to explore every facet of that world, and find my place in it. on my own time.
so, i've just turned 23, graduated from college about a year ago, and i still don't have that "real job". you know, that perfect job that you are supposed to have worked so hard for all four years of college. well let me just say this. not everyone knows what they really want out of life. i for one don't. i'm really not sure if i ever have. i went to college because it was expected of me, it wasn't a choice not to go in my family. now that I'm done, I realize that yes, I loved college, met great people, learned great and new things, realized what I actually want to do in life and realized that it will never actually happen for me. but that's life. so now, here i am, working a low-paying job for now, paying my own bills, and figuring out who i am. is it a bad thing that I haven't figured out my place in the world? i don't think so. someday, i know i will. but right now is not someday. i'm perfectly happy doing what i am doing, and i will figure things out when it is right for me. I don't think it's right for people to judge my situation, because i am after all, still figuring myself out.
my family is important to me, and my friends are too. i've been hurt too many times to count by friends, but i always try to forgive them. sometimes friendships cannot be mended, but most times, people forgive each other. and i feel that that is something true friends will always do. i hate being in uncomfortable situations, and that's why i try to figure out what the problem is. does this make the situation worse? sometimes. but i feel it's better to try and fix what is wrong rather to let it build and build until permanent damage is done. i want all my friends to know that i love them, and will always be there for them, and that i would never betray them. i'm just not that kind of person. i just want others to like me. is that shallow? i don't think so. but maybe i am wrong. i have been wrong about things before.
right now in my life, i think it's all about self discovery. so many things have changed in the past year, that i feel like i have done a complete 180. and you know what, i'm ok with that. i'm having fun right now, and i'm on top of my finances and i always pay my bills. i'm young, just let me be 23 and make bad decisions. how else am i going to learn what is right or wrong? sometimes people don't always see eye to eye on everything, but that's ok! because if everybody was the same the world would be boring. it's like my dad said today: you have the whole world in front of you, and i think i do, and i intend to explore every facet of that world, and find my place in it. on my own time.