Road Rage
Dear Dilapidated Mini-van,
Here's a little tip for you. When I put on my turn signal and start to move over into the lane between us, that is not a cue for you to pull over 20 miles an hour into that lane with no turn signal causing me to slam on my brakes in the middle of the goddamned highway. Fuck you and your fucking face.
Dear Asshole in a truck,
That was a "yield" sign, you old coot, not a "just pull out into traffic even when there are cars coming" sign. So take your goddamned horn and shove it, dillhole.
Dear ASU AlumnUS,
Apparently your degree did not help you learn the difference between The Blue Ridge Parkway and Lakemont Boulevard. The Blue Ridge Parkway is a pretty place with trees and animals and flowers and overlooks, and that is the kind of place you should drive slowly while looking out your passenger window to take in the scenery. Lakemont Boulevard has a Cracker Barrel and a construction site and people like me who are just trying to get back to work. So eyes on the road, foot on the gas, and ass out of my way. Got it? Good.
Here's a little tip for you. When I put on my turn signal and start to move over into the lane between us, that is not a cue for you to pull over 20 miles an hour into that lane with no turn signal causing me to slam on my brakes in the middle of the goddamned highway. Fuck you and your fucking face.
Dear Asshole in a truck,
That was a "yield" sign, you old coot, not a "just pull out into traffic even when there are cars coming" sign. So take your goddamned horn and shove it, dillhole.
Dear ASU AlumnUS,
Apparently your degree did not help you learn the difference between The Blue Ridge Parkway and Lakemont Boulevard. The Blue Ridge Parkway is a pretty place with trees and animals and flowers and overlooks, and that is the kind of place you should drive slowly while looking out your passenger window to take in the scenery. Lakemont Boulevard has a Cracker Barrel and a construction site and people like me who are just trying to get back to work. So eyes on the road, foot on the gas, and ass out of my way. Got it? Good.