Title: Some Truths Hurt
Author: jenwin23
Pairing/Character: all, LoVe
Word Count: 15,827
Rating: R
Spoilers: Season 1
Warnings: Slight violence, cussing, discussions about rape and possible incest.
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or any of the characters, but I promise to take good care of them while I borrow them!
Chapter 21, part 2
Through the fog in her brain she can feel them moving and opens her eyes to see that Logan has managed to push them back into the small vestibule at the bottom of the stairs. His mouth is still attached to her neck and her heart is racing so furiously that there is a loud roar of rushing blood in her head. When he speaks again his words sound far away.
Logan: The only men in your life that matter are your dad, Wallace, and me. And I’m the only one who touches you like this.
His hands slide under her t-shirt, pushing her bra out of the way. His hands cup her breasts and kneed the soft flesh running his thumbs over her hardened nipples. She gasps and her hips buck towards him.
Logan: I’m the only one you want, the only one who gets to touch you.
His words whisper into her ear, his lips grazing over the sensitive skin there. When his mouth takes possession of hers again she can only clutch at his shoulders to keep herself upright and respond. She squirms as one of his thumbs strums over her nipple then pinches it lightly and rolls it between thumb and forefinger. She moans in protest when his hands leave her breasts to sweep her blazer off her shoulders before pulling her shirt and bra off. His hands take hold of her hips lifting her off her feet, pushing her into the wall with his hips, his hard erection pressing firmly against her softer flesh. He moves down her neck kissing and licking a trail of fire to her chest. When his mouth closes over one breast her breath catches and she concentrates on breathing as sensations run riot in her body. Her legs wrap around his back, holding him close as Logan’s hips grind against her, driving her higher, making her dizzy. She can feel his hands at her waistband and knows she should stop him, that her father walks through this area every day, that another building tenant could come by, but as his fingers push her tight jeans down a bit and delve into her wet folds she can’t summon enough energy to care. His fingers stroke over her wetness for a brief moment before sliding easily into her.
Veronica: (moaning) Logan.
His fingers begin to stroke in and out of her quickly, building her up rapidly, his mouth still busy at her breasts. Her whimpers grow and Logan releases her breast to look at her as she squirms and thrashes trying to reach her climax. He moves his mouth close to hers so when he speaks his lips graze over hers.
Logan: You’re mine. I’m yours. Nothing has changed that. Nothing will.
His lips slide over hers as he maneuvers his fingers to find the spot he knows will push her over the edge, taking her cries into his mouth.
He keeps his fingers in her, still moving slightly in an out of her, as he works her down. When her eyes open he lowers her slowly to her feet, dropping onto one knee to pick up her discarded clothing. Seeing her bare stomach in front of him, Logan lightly kisses her belly button causing her breath to catch. She stands lax as he tugs up her jeans and fastens them again. Her eyes follow his every movement as he slides her bra back on and fastens it, then slides her shirt over her head. Somehow him dressing her is almost as sexy as him undressing her, and more intimate. Not that she had ever really noticed when he took off her clothes.
Still breathing faster than normal she watches him warily as he picks up her bag and hands it to her. He opens the door for her and ushers her out with a hand on her back, then locks the doors, handing her the keys.
Logan: I want you back.
She doesn’t respond other than closing her eyes as her face fills with pain. He turns her to face him fully.
Logan: (firmly) I want you back. And you want that too.
Veronica: Let it go Logan.
Logan: I can’t. I won’t.
Veronica: (backing away from him) We’re not together, we won’t be together again.
Logan: We will.
Veronica: No. (angry that her rejection isn’t driving him away) You ended it Logan. Live with your choices.
Logan: I made a mistake.
She opens her car door then turns back to him.
Veronica: (bitter) Funny how whenever you make a mistake, I’m the one who ends up getting hurt.
Logan: (upset) I was trying to stop you from getting hurt.
Veronica: Well. Good job with that.
She climbs into her car and drives away leaving a sad Logan on the sidewalk. As her car disappears into the distance Logan’s expression changes from sad to determined.
In her car, one tear streaks down Veronica’s cheek before her hand swipes it away.
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Cut to Logan in his bedroom. He is lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling trying to work out a plan that will win Veronica’s trust back. He refuses to acknowledge that he might not be successful. He knows she cares about him, that she wants to be together. He knows that she’s afraid and that he’s to blame for her fear. His phone buzzes and he flips it open to see a message from Dick. Apparently Logan was on TMZ tonight.
Logan hops up and goes to his computer to see that a TMZ camera man had filmed him and Veronica at breakfast on Sunday. The footage is pretty good, and Logan watches it several times, transported back to that moment, before pausing it to study Veronica’s happy face as he kisses her cheek. He picks up his phone again and dials.
Logan: Harvey. It’s Logan Echolls. You got a minute?
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(Tuesday)
The next morning Veronica crawls out of bed feeling very lethargic, even after 8 hours of sleep. Keith frowns at her behavior and tries to figure out if she is acting to make him feel bad for grounding her or if something is actually wrong. He teases her and tries to annoy her a bit to get a reaction but nothing penetrates her apathy. Keith stares at the door with a worried expression after she leaves.
When she starts her car the stereo turns on automatically to CD and Snow Patrols On/Off begins playing. She puts the car in reverse, then stops to listen. She doesn’t own this CD.
Veronica Voiceover: I guess Logan is making good use of the keys he copied.
Lyrics/music:
couldn't believe what I was seeing
Faces all screwed up like what I'd done
I didn't mean to hurt you so much
I knew it would hurt you but not like this
We all make a mess from time to time dear
But it'll take me a lifetime to get this cleared
Somebody muttered something under their breath
But I let on like I was a little deaf
Nobody's perfect that's what I say
No one has hurt me so much you say
I'm sorry
Running away seemed like the easy
Thing to do because I wanted time
To put a smile back on my dear face
For once nothing's missing and I feel fine
I was afraid to tell you some things
But some things all find a way to get told
Hearing it from the lips of somebody else
Must have knocked the wind out of your sweet chest
Her hand reaches up to change the CD, but she pauses and continues reversing out of the parking spot. She smiles sadly, the song is a good fit for their current situation. By the time she arrives at school with Wallace the CD has moved through several other Snow Patrol songs including Make this go on forever, Hands open, You're all I have, You could be happy, and Chasing cars.
At school, she stops herself from looking for Logan and instead concentrates on teasing Wallace about his new crush on Shakira, a girl from Pan he’d met a few weeks ago. Wallace seemed really sprung on her and Veronica was enjoying his annoyance with her questions and teasing.
Veronica: Ok, ok, I’ll stop. But I want to meet this girl.
Wallace: Come to the dance next Friday and you will.
Veronica grimaces.
Wallace: Come on V. An 80s dance? That has to be too awesome to miss.
Veronica: (mocking) Totally!
Wallace: Besides you owe me.
Veronica: (eye brow raised) I do?
Wallace: Yeah.
Flashback
Wallace is in the locker room clearing out his basketball locker. He looks around and sees that no one is nearby and goes to Caz’s gym bag. Wallace reaches in feeling around for his phone but instead pulls out a jock strap. He holds it up distastefully then drops it as Caz’s voice sounds behind him.
End Flashback
Veronica: (laughing) Well did you at least get anything useful out of it?
Wallace: (crossly) What I got is a reputation as a jock sniffer.
Veronica laughs harder and while Wallace is happy to see her genuinely amused, he is not happy with what happened.
Wallace: You can be your own FF. I’m retired.
Veronica: (trying to stop laughing) I’m sorry. Really. But you have to admit that is classic.
They continue walking into school and when Veronica begins spinning the combination lock on her locker she hears music start playing from inside. It grows louder and she spins the lock faster trying to get it open. Wallace opens his own locker and turns to watch Veronica turn beet red as she has to begin the combination again having messed up. Several students have stopped to watch and listen as Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams plays loudly.
Music/lyrics:
So If you're feelin' lonely… don't
You're the only one I'd ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love ya a little more than I should
Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me
Veronica throws the locker open and a large bouquet of daisies and sunflowers falls out into her arms as the music continues to play. She thrusts them into Wallace’s arms and tries to pry the small MP3 player from where it is taped to the top of her locker, but she has to reach up on her tiptoes to get it. The song is nearly finished when she finally rips it down and shuts it off. Wallace is laughing at her openly and several other people are smiling and laughing too. Veronica looks around menacingly and the crowd scatters as Meg walks up with a happy smile. Taking in Wallace’s grin and Veronica’s angry flushed face she stops.
Meg: What? What happened?
Wallace: Echolls happened. Looks like he’s not going to give up easily.
Meg looks uncertain then smiles.
Meg: Good.
Veronica stares at her friends then slams her locker shut and storms down the hallway alone.
Wallace: (yelling) Hey, you forgot your flowers!
She flips him off over her head, and amused laughter fills the hallway.
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Meg catches up to Veronica in English.
Meg: (concerned) Are you ok?
Veronica: (sarcastic) Sure, I love to make a public spectacle of my life.
Meg: I think it’s sweet.
Veronica: It’s not.
Meg: (smiles) It is. He wants you back.
Veronica: But I don’t want him.
Meg: Yes you do. You’re just too afraid to admit it.
Veronica’s mouth falls open.
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After class Meg shows Veronica the love poem she found in her locker from her secret admirer. Veronica opens the folded sheet of paper and reads I wandered lonely as a cloud by William Wordsworth.
Veronica: Wordsworth. We’re studying the Romantic Era. Not much of a clue there either. My attempts to get Caz and Martin’s phones have not exactly worked out as planned. (waggles her eye brows) Time to try something new.
Meg giggles.
In second period history with their new teacher, Mrs. Williams, Wallace has laid the abandoned bouquet on Veronica’s chair. She glares at him and drops them in the trash. A moment later the flowers are back on her desk, deposited there by John Enbom who takes a seat next to her.
John Enbom: You gotta take him back soon Veronica.
Veronica: I don’t.
John Enbom: Do it for all of us.
Veronica: How does me dating Logan affect (wide sweeping arm gesture) all of us?
John Enbom: Because the rest of us guys look like chumps next to all his romantic gestures.
Veronica: (frowning, incredulous) So you want me to get back together with Logan so you don’t have to buy Mac flowers?
John Enbom: Not only for that reason. But yeah.
Fifteen minutes into the lecture Enbom nudges Veronica’s arm and leans closer to her.
John Enbom: (whispering) Do you think Mac would like flowers?
Veronica looks at him in disbelief, while Wallace smiles a shit eating grin.
John Enbom: (confused) What kind of flowers?
Veronica scoots her desk farther away from him and shakes her head.
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In third period the school gets a new rumor to focus attention on. Noah Dawson slept with sisters Liz and Jodie Levin. The rumor gained strength since Liz was still thought to be going out with Jimmy Day and Jodie’s friend had been overheard saying that he’d slept with both girls within a few days of each other.
By lunch Logan and Veronica are the main topic of conversation again. Several tabloids were being passed around and students had seen footage of Logan and Veronica in Santa Barbara that weekend on TMZ last night. In addition, Logan had obviously ordered food for Veronica and her friends again despite the fact that she was ignoring him, and as she walked out into the lunch quad music began playing.
Music/lyrics from Let’s stay together by Al Green:
Let me be the one you come running to
I'll never be untrue
Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad
Hearing the music, Veronica stops walking abruptly causing Mac to run into her back.
Mac: Whoa, Veronica. What….(listening) Oh. Yeah I heard about this. Apology by song. An interesting choice.
Veronica grits her teeth and continues to her table without looking at Logan.
Mac: So just out of curiosity how long do you think you’re going to hold out?
Veronica gapes at Mac.
Veronica: What?
Mac: Well, someone is bound to start taking bets on you two soon and a little insider knowledge might be helpful.
Veronica: Forever.
Mac: No seriously.
Veronica: (deadly serious) I am being serious.
Mac: (appeasing) Ok, I can see that. You’re being serious but not realistic.
Veronica takes a deep breath and counts backwards from 20 in her head.
Veronica: I don’t want to talk about it.
Mac: (shrugs) Ok, then let’s eat.
Meg and Wallace arrive from different directions.
Meg: Ooh, yummy, Gourmet Bagger.
Wallace: (listening as the song finishes) Motown. At least he knows where to go for the good stuff.
Veronica: I don’t want to talk about it.
Wallace: (exasperated) I’ve seen this episode.
The three girls look at him blankly.
Wallace: You try to ignore him, he stares at you. You run, he chases after you. You end up giving in, then you two make out in the bathroom or Clemmons office or wherever. Can’t we just skip the chase this time?
Veronica: (a bit hurt) I’d expect a bit more support from my friends. If you’re so chummy with Logan, why don’t you go sit with him?
Meg: (reprimanding) Veronica. That’s not fair. We support you. But we know you still like him.
Wallace: Don’t bother to deny it superfly. That boy has you hooked.
Mac: It’s true Veronica.
Veronica pouts and eats her sandwich silently. She sneaks a glance at Logan’s table to see him watching her intently. He smiles hopefully at her but she averts her eyes again.
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At the end of lunch, Logan walks up behind Veronica as she throws away her trash.
Logan: Any requests for lunch tomorrow?
Veronica: (turning slowly) I don’t want you to buy me lunch Logan.
Logan: But I’m still going to, so back to my original question.
Veronica: Why are you doing this?
Their gazes meet and hold until Veronica turns her head away then turns walk into school but Logan stops her with his hand on her shoulder turning her back towards him.
Logan: (staring into her eyes) I miss you. I know I hurt you. And I’m sorry. If you need some time to think about us, I can wait until you’re ready to give me another chance.
Veronica: (sad) Logan…
She doesn’t continue so Logan smiles sadly as his eyes drop to her mouth. When he moves in to place a soft kiss on her lips a shiver races down her spine, but she doesn’t pull away. Logan nibbles on her lips before sliding his tongue into her mouth briefly, keeping the kiss light.
Logan: I really am sorry Veronica. I never wanted to hurt you.
His sincerity is obvious and she nods then turns and hurries away.
Veronica rushes into the girls bathroom to get away from anyone who might want to talk to her and moves into a stall when she hears some girls approaching. From their voices she knows it is seniors Regina George, Gretchen Wieners, and Karen Smith.
Regina George: Oh, my God, can you believe how desperate the Levin sisters are?
Gretchen Wieners: I know right, like Noah Dawson would ever seriously be interested in either of them.
Karen Smith: Poor Jimmy. Maybe he needs some comforting.
Regina George: Whatever. What about Logan Echolls?
Gretchen Wieners: He can do so much better.
Karen Smith: I heard he is like totally in rehab.
Gretchen Wieners: No. He’s in my first period class and he was, like, in class today, so I think that rumor is wrong.
Karen Smith: I dunno, I heard it on Entertainment Tonight.
Regina George: Well I heard that his mother is in rehab. A weird one too, they’re all cult like, total brainwashing.
Gretchen Wieners: That’s creepy.
Karen Smith: Poor Logan.
Regina George: Well, I don’t feel sorry for him at all. He’s totally a jerk. Thinks he’s better than the rest of us. As if.
Gretchen Wieners: Totally. He’d be lucky to date one of us. We’re popular.
Karen Smith: He is cute though.
Gretchen Wieners: And rich.
Karen Smith: And from what Lilly used to say he’s totally awesome in bed.
Regina George: Please, I’ve had better.
Gretchen Wieners: That lipstick is so pretty on you Karen, Dick Casablancas was totally staring at your mouth earlier.
Karen Smith: I know, right.
Regina George: Can you believe Casey is going out with Nadia? She’s not even that pretty.
Their voices grow quieter as they leave the bathroom.
Inside the bathroom stall, Veronica looks weary.
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In his fifth period class, Logan sits and silently thinks how to proceed with Veronica. Meg comes in with her friends then waves them away and comes over to sit by Logan. He looks up surprised.
Meg: You changed your mind.
Logan: Not really. I never wanted to break up with her.
Meg: Why did you then?
Logan: I thought she’d be better off away from me.
Meg: (frowning) Veronica’s right. It is some kind of testosterone poisoning. Makes you all stupid.
Logan smiles, that sounds like something Veronica would say.
Meg: Keep it up. You’re getting to her.
Logan: (leaning forward, hopeful) You’re sure? Did she say something?
Meg: Not really. But trust me, it’s working.
Logan: You have any suggestions for me?
Meg: Just stay close to her. Make sure she sees you and can’t ignore you. You have journalism together right? (Logan nods) Try to get partnered with her on something.
Logan: That’s it? That’s your great advice?
Meg: Don’t get snippy with me. I don’t have to help you. In fact, if Veronica found out she’d kill me.
Logan: (with renewed determination) Thanks Meg. You’re a good friend.
Meg: I’m not doing this for you.
Logan: I know. But I still appreciate it.
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Veronica drives to the office listening to another new CD from Logan, this one with Dig by Incubus, May angels lead you in by Jimmy Eat World, I want you to want me by Cheap Trick and I got you by Split Enz. Her mind debates whether she should listen or break the CD into pieces and throw them at him.
At the office she hurries through work so she can get to Mac’s house. Mac, Meg and Veronica are meeting tonight to discuss the Get the Dirt business.
Veronica Voiceover: When I’ve had my fill of secret admirers, high school gossip and puppy love, I always find a private detective’s office a refreshing change of pace.
Her dad had been in his office behind a closed door for the half hour she had been at the office when the door opens and he comes out, leaving the client there. Keith looks at Veronica carefully hoping that she had managed to regain her good spirits. He frowns when he sees the sadness in her eyes still. He shuts the door so as not to be overheard.
Keith: (whispering, then quietly) Hi. You ok?
Veronica: Yep.
Keith: (not convinced) I’m swamped with this insurance fraud thing but we could use this fee. Can you take her information, charge her a straight 75? Shouldn’t take more than a half hour online.
Veronica: Sure.
Keith: Thanks.
Veronica grabs her bag to get paper out.
Veronica Voiceover: Nothing soothes the nausea, headache and occasional dizziness of a romance overdose like a glimpse of the aftermath. The custody battles, the affairs and…
Veronica enters Keith’s office. There is a woman sitting opposite Keith’s desk. Veronica heads round to sit at the desk. The client is a Russian woman named Katerina who says she made a mistake in love. She didn't realize what a good thing she had, and now she has lost him. He was her soul mate. Veronica isn't happy, but listens and writes down the information Katerina has on her former fiancé. Long story short she was a mail or email order bride who got cold feet after arriving in America and meeting her prospective husband. She ran away and then realized she had left a good thing, but hadn’t been able to find him when she went looking. His name was Tom Cruz and he was an actor. Katerina gives Veronica a picture of Tom and his dog, and a postcard he sent her postmarked from Neptune. Veronica tells Katerina the charge and says that Keith should have something for her in a couple of days.
Link to part 3 of chapter 21