Remix of akumanakoi's "Paparazzi"
Title: Soap Opera, the Paparazzi Remix
Rating: PG-13
Group/Pairing: Ryo/Ueda, cameos of KAT-TUN members
Warnings: Ueda with a crush and forced into a fake relationship is definitely whiny.
Notes: Dear akumanakoi, I hope I didn’t completely butcher your fic because I like it a lot! ♥ I borrowed a few lines of dialogue from the original. 5655 words.
Link to Original Story: Paparazzi
Link to Original Writer: akumanakoi @ yumetamago
“He’s in mourning and he wants to play the piano like Chopin. Do me a favor,” Kame says.
Ueda has a drama role and a hairdresser appointment scheduled. He still puts Nishikido’s phone number into his contact list.
“If I’m going to rekindle my great relationship with Nishikido, he needs to call me first,” he says to Kame.
Nishikido does. He stammers and starts cursing halfway through. It’s endearing.
Ueda should have known, at the time, that this is how every fated romance in a second-rate soap opera starts.
~
Ueda isn’t really nervous the first time he puts his fingers against the piano keys in front of Nishikido. He just needs to take a breath before he presses down on them.
“Your finger is crooked,” Nishikido says then.
“It is,” Ueda nods, and quickly runs his hand through the entire range of the instrument in front of him.
~
A few weeks later, Nishikido slides his fingers through Ueda’s now nonexistent hair with the same enthusiasm as he slides them across Ueda’s piano keys.
He is curious. And a little turned on.
“Amazing,” he mutters.
~
Ryo Nishikido is slow.
By now, Ueda wants Ryo. And Ryo wants Ueda.
Still, it’s a game, like they’re high school sweethearts, or something. Not that Ueda would know anything about that. He’d been too awkward in high school. And he hadn’t particularly preferred boys back then. Girls had been hard to find.
With Ryo, everything is pull and push, and three steps back after every baby step forward. It’s still the best almost-relationship Ueda’s had. Because Ryo looks at him with dark eyes and brings him beers and takeout instead of chocolate and flowers, and licks his lip before running away from the piano when they practice. He touches Ueda with cool fingers, pretends it didn’t happen, and then does it again.
Ueda doesn’t even mind the verbal abuse. When Ryo says that Ueda has stupid huge lips, Ueda hears “I want to kiss you.” He wouldn’t mind.
When Ryo says that Ueda’s current haircut makes him look like a plucked chicken, Ueda knows he’s sorry he didn’t get to pull on his long hair.
And when Ryo says that Ueda has freaky cheekbones, Ueda hears “I can’t look away.”
~
Ueda figures this is how it feels when Nishikido Ryo sets his mind to something. Persistent, if a little confusing, but mostly thrilling. As winter rolls into its second half, though, Ueda is ready for more.
~
Ueda is pressed against the side of his own car the moment he gets out of it in the underground parking lot of his apartment building. His back protests a little. It’d been a long day on set and then Kamenashi dragged him out to drink.
But then a blob of black hair is right in Ueda’s face, and Ryo’s tongue is in his mouth. So he doesn’t complain. He grabs the hair at the back of Ryo’s head, buries his fingers in it. He slumps against the cool metal behind him while Ryo does a good job of robbing him of his breath, tongue sweeping over his teeth and then deeper. Ueda sucks on it, not wanting to fall behind.
“Fuck,” Ryo mutters when he pulls away. “Why didn’t you let me do this sooner?”
Ueda laughs, leaning his head back, then moans half through it when he feels Ryo’s mouth against the hollow of his throat. “It’s you that chickened out every time. I was starting to think you didn’t know how to do it.”
So Ryo proves him wrong; kisses Ueda until his lips are bruised and his body doesn’t even know it hurt earlier that day.
“Where were you so long anyway?” Ryo whines when they spring apart, reflectors of a car parking a bit further away causing a bitten tongue and a whole different level of higher pulse rate.
“Does it matter?” Ueda asks, locking his car at last. He contemplates whether it is now okay to grab Ryo’s hand. They did just kiss. Finally. He wants to take Ryo upstairs and skip all the other steps forward in favor of the final one. Or do them all at once. Preferably bend Ryo over his piano. He had wanted to do that since Ryo leaned against it the first time he came into his apartment.
“So princess, show me what you’ve got,” he had said.
Ueda would love to show him right now.
But then Ryo sighs.
“I’ve got to go now. I have filming in Osaka tomorrow. I just…” He stops, and suddenly they are back to high school.
Ueda grins. “Kissing. We are good at it,” he says.
Ryo couldn’t have waited anymore.
The realization makes Ueda high-school-giddy. Then he cries a little inside because he is so easy. Ryo blushes and gives him this half smirk, half smile and kisses him one more time, just a peck. And Ueda is weak in his knees.
“Of course we are. It’s me kissing you,” Ryo says. He turns around and runs out of the parking lot.
Ueda smiles like an idiot until he falls asleep. Never mind if that too feels like it’s been cut out from a cheesy romance drama for housewives.
~
KAT-TUN’S UEDA AND KAMENASHI IN SECRET RELATIONSHIP!
Ueda reads the headline in attachment to a message from Ryo. It’s full of hysteric laughter emoticons.
Your drama has the best publicity strategy, Ryo has written.
Kamenashi is taking it much worse, but Ueda can’t be bothered. All he sees is Ryo laughing really hard while passing Nagoya on the train.
I’ve just realized. IT’S THE BEST DECOY EVER! reads another message from Ryo.
Until the moment their manager tells them they are going to milk it. Ueda wonders if he looks as sick as he suddenly feels inside.
~
Ueda sits through the press conference with his hands balled into fists.
He sees the hungry smiles behind the camera flashes. He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to talk about how he likes men, or how he loves Kame. He doesn’t want to think about fake stories detailing endearment and doesn’t want to be photographed from all angles as he talks about them. He doesn’t want to be a pioneer in the field of a strange public love story.
Most of all, he doesn’t want to check his phone. Maybe Ryo hasn’t seen the news yet.
It’s good that Kame is such a professional, getting through all the questions while Ueda blinks away the anger and panic behind his sunglasses. But then Ueda starts blaming him. Kame is too big of a professional. He is going to be so happy with all this attention; new ways to promote himself and KAT-TUN. At first Kame was just afraid of hurting his reputation, but now… Ueda can’t think of anyone Kame might lose because of this.
And yes, Ueda knows, he is being too sulky and selfish, thank you very much.
After a while they leave the stage, and Kame takes Ueda’s hand. For a moment, Ueda feels calmer. He can do this. He’s not alone in this alternate universe of absurdity. It’s the closeness of another human--of someone who knows the mess they’re getting into, that makes him see things in a better light. Then he realizes he and Kame will have to touch regularly now. In public. Intimately. His lips burn suddenly, the shadow of the kiss from just hours in the past. He squeezes the hand in his tighter and bites the inside of his lip.
~
Fuck. Tatsuya. Tell me this is a lie.
I WAS WITH YOU YESTERDAY
If you were double timing me with fucking Kamenashi, you are dead.
No. I’m much better than Kamenashi. Kamenashi likes old women.
This is one big fat lie. How could anyone believe it?
I…
Ueda, fuck this
There are no missed phone calls. Just those messages. And Ueda doesn’t know what he is supposed to tell Ryo. What he can type into a message. How he is supposed to explain this. If he can. And what will happen, if he does.
With Ryo, it was good. It could have been something. But now Ueda is dating Kamenashi, and another car reflector passing by as Ueda and Ryo kiss could be deadly; for KAT-TUN, for Ueda, and for Kame. And for Ryo.
I can’t. Ueda texts back.
Then.
Nothing’s changed. he types. Ueda knows he’s lying. I still go for a run every morning. You know, the deserted park a few blocks away.
He hits the send button and sinks into the car seat, trying to block everything out as he is driven to yet another emergency meeting where he will learn how he and Kame fell in love.
This would truly make a perfect script. Three hundred parts of a series, most of them focused on the internal turmoil of one unfortunate Ueda Tatsuya.
~
Ryo has a simple black hat on. And aviator sunglasses. Ueda has his own pair on. They must look like a couple of idiots at 5:30 am. Ueda hopes no one is watching.
They aren’t even jogging properly.
“This is the stupidest concert promotion ever,” Ryo says through gritted teeth. Ueda has said nothing yet. But apparently that is the logic that Ryo’s decided to go with.
“What if it was you and me?” Ueda asks. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it. How that would feel. Maybe he would have been on cloud nine at the moment. Maybe this means, in the future, it could be them. He knows he is being idiot, even thinking about this.
“But it isn’t. At least it’s Kamenashi. You’re not his type.”
Ueda furrows his eyebrows. “Why does that matter?”
“You’re supposed to tell me now he isn’t your type either,” Ryo grits through his teeth.
“He isn’t. It’s not him anyway.” Ueda says quickly. When Ryo looks confused -- or his mouth does as that’s the only part of him Ueda can see -- he forces himself to continue. “I’d rather be in a secret relationship with you.”
Ryo stops abruptly, hands on his knees, breathing hard. “Can’t go on anymore,” he whispers.
“Just take deep breaths,” Ueda mutters, stopping too and wanting to rub Ryo’s back. He doesn’t.
“Okay. Okay,” Ryo repeats. “This could still be just a better cover-up. Right? This is a good thing,” he finishes.
Ueda says nothing.
~
Ueda suggests they continue with the piano lessons anyway. They have results to prove that’s what they’re really doing. People will be so focused on Kame and him that no one would be suspicious. Hopefully.
But Ryo says he’s getting too busy again, what with the Kanjani8 anniversary coming up.
It might be just texts for a while he mails.
Is that it? Ueda sends back.
We’re both pros at this, is Ryo’s answer, and while Ryo doesn’t say it, Ueda knows what they are talking about. That Ryo is pulling back, and not because he is busy.
~
I miss your stupid crooked pinky finger.
Ryo sends few days later.
Ueda is asked what he likes about Kame the most. For about the fifth time that day. When they ask Kame, all he ever mentions is Ueda’s body. Then Ueda is left coming up with creative answers.
When he talks about passion, he wonders if anyone can tell he isn’t really thinking about Kame. He just wishes Ryo wasn’t just as much of a pro as Kame is. Against his better judgment, he wants Ryo to not be understanding about the situation.
How can anyone even believe what he’s saying. Passion for work is not what you fall in love with.
Ueda knows Ryo is in Tokyo these days. He also knows the shortest way to his apartment.
Bu then Kame parks himself and three bottles of wine in Ueda’s living room because Potato wants to test how well they know each other.
“What is my favorite meal?” Kame asks Ueda.
“Mayonnaise,” Ueda answers.
Kame falls sideways laughing. “We are so going to hell,” he says when he is done catching his breath.
“Right about now, it might be nicer there,” Ueda tells him back.
Kame doesn’t mention that Ueda isn’t as cool when he’s not wearing his sunglasses as when those are firmly in place on top of Ueda’s nose during the endless shoots and interviews. He just smiles a little sadly and nods.
“Would I be allowed to take a few more people along with us?”
“The entire agency, for all I care,” Ueda mutters.
“I’m not that demanding,” Kame replies. Ueda wonders if he is self-projecting the sulkiness into Kame’s tone.
I miss your bad piano skills. Ueda types later that night, when he is sitting behind his piano, drinking the wine Kame left behind, that he knows will make him extra sick the next day.
~
That’s what Ueda says to Kame, when he asks his fake boyfriend not to put his hair right into his face anymore. “I feel even more sick then.”
“Don’t be difficult,” Kame shrugs, slinging an arm around Ueda again. “It’s just for a show.”
Kame uses the same aftershave as Ryo. What are they? Toiletry buddies?
~
Every morning, Ueda jogs through that same park. He slows down, looks around, before moving on.
Every time, Kame manages to call at just the moment Ueda is about to leave the park behind. With the way Kame questions him, Ueda feels like they are a part of some major criminal operation, not a fake relationship. He looks around one more time, and when he sees no signs of his real almost-kind-of-great-relationship approaching, he steps back into the slowly awakening streets.
“Having fun?” Kame asks.
“I was,” Ueda answers, thinking back to the time he dragged Ryo here for the first time, after they had spent the night playing the piano and the guitar and being foolish because neither of them had wanted to go to sleep.
~
I saw you and Kame in a magazine. He likes your body. How original. comes a message from Ryo. There are snickering emoticons filling the rest of it.
“I want the bed,” Ueda say when he drops his duffle bag in Kame’s apartment.
“No,” Kame says, hands on his hips. “Don’t act spoiled.”
“I deserve the bed,” Ueda pouts. Kame seems amused.
“You can have the bed when we are in your apartment.”
“You’re not coming over. Not again,” Ueda says. “Not to stay overnight,” he adds.
At least not if Ueda can help it. Ueda knows jealous Ryo when he sees him. Or when he reads his texts, anyway. If Kame is okay with playing this game and with magazines writing about when he has sex with Ueda, fine then. But Ueda will not give them more reasons to do it.
“I’m going to sleep,” he says to Kame.
~
Ueda is woken up by swearing. He freezes. Even if this is a burglar, if he finds Ueda in the futon in Kame’s living room and not in Kame’s bed, they will have a problem. Then his half asleep brain realizes it -- there could be a burglar in Kame’s flat. He moves quickly and soon has an arm around the stranger’s neck.
“Who are you? What are you doing here?” he hisses.
“Tatsuya?” the man asks back hesitantly, and Ueda’s brain stops because why on earth is Nakamaru walking around Kame’s place at midnight. It takes him a moment to release Nakamaru from his grip.
“Yuichi?”
“What are you doing here?” Nakamaru asks and he sounds almost accusingly.
“What are you doing here?”
Nakamaru finds the switch miraculously fast, and they blink at each other in the bright light.
“What are you doing here?” Nakamaru asks yet again, now frowning on top of sounding whiny.
“Publicity,” Ueda replies, only managing to check the sourness in his voice so much with how he is still half dazed and wondering if this isn’t a dream to begin with. “They hoped someone would take pictures of me coming in and leaving tomorrow morning. So what is your explanation for sneaking around Kame's apartment in the middle of the night? How did you get in?”
Nakamaru stays strangely silent then, so Ueda feels almost saved by Kame stepping out of his bedroom.
“Tatsuya?” he starts to ask, his voice tilting into panic when he notices Nakamaru in his living room.
Ueda watches, in fascination, as the two of his bandmates speak to each other, fast and almost intimate.
“Yu-chan, I told you not to - Oh, this is bad. This is exactly why I told you not to come here.”
“Well I didn't know he was going to be here,” Nakamaru is saying.
“... Is something going on between you?” Ueda asks. Suddenly he feels sorry for Kame. And for Nakamaru. Because it is clear that there is something here. Something that he has no place in.
“No!” the too basically spit out at the same time.
“As if I'd get into a relationship with someone with a nose that big.”
“Hey, you, you -” Nakamaru is angry.
“I didn't mention anything about a relationship,” Ueda interrupts before they argue. Before he sees what Ryo and he could become.
“Look, you can't tell anyone, okay?” Kame whispers “We're trying so hard to keep it quiet.”
As if Ueda would. Still he is a little surprised. “You and him? I mean, I knew you were after Nakamaru, but I thought he was doing a great job not giving in.”
“Well I was, but -”
“I'm irresistible?”
“I'm not going to tell anyone, don't worry,” Ueda shrugs at last. “It's none of my business anyway. Can I go back to sleep now?” he adds. He doesn’t want to hear someone else’s love story now. He stretches and yawns hoping they will get the message.
Ueda feels almost comically as Kame first stares him down then tries to kick his own boyfriend out into the night. This is truly turning into a soap opera, with all the ‘love you’s thrown around. A really stupid one. Because Ueda would tie Ryo to a chair if the other appeared in his flat right now, not throw him out. Would Ryo come if Ueda too gave him a key?
It’s too soon for such gestures, though. It’s all wrong, and with them not really starting properly it would be too complicated to explain.
“Get a room,” Ueda mutters, burying himself underneath his blankets. He doesn’t want to hear or see more. It just makes him feel stupidly melancholic and… sorry for himself.
Until now, he was jealous of Kame because he thought Kame didn’t have anyone to hurt with their stunt. Now he is jealous because Kame has someone close enough to fight for him through the lie they are creating.
~
The next evening, Ueda asks Junno to drive him two blocks away from where Ryo lives, pretending his car needs maintenance and he wants to go eat octopus there. Junno does it, using the drive to talk about all the responses he has ready for when they ask him about Kame and Ueda’s relationship, something about turtle-dragons. He doesn’t question that Ueda doesn’t want company for the meal.
Ryo is home, but he almost doesn’t let Ueda in.
“Shut up. I slept on Kame’s floor last night. No one is going to find it weird if I don’t sleep home tonight either.”
Ryo’s ears get red, but he says nothing.
“I’m…” Ueda starts, then he takes a deep breath and just kisses Ryo.
They tumble towards the couch, and Ryo clutches to Ueda even more than Ueda clutches to him. When Ryo slides his mouth down Ueda’s neck, Ueda takes a shaky breath.
“I’m tired,” he says.
Ryo slows down, wraps an arm around Ueda’s middle, then rolls them off the couch. Ueda’s elbow hits the coffee table as they tumble to the floor. He still feels pretty great.
“Then let’s go sleep in a proper bed, princess. I might even kiss you to wake you up,” Ryo says, sighing, and he pulls Ueda up and into his bed. Ueda doesn’t even comment on the nickname. Whatever; if it really earns him a kiss.
When Ryo’s hair tickles Ueda’s nose, it feels pretty great.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Ueda hears Ryo says a little later. Ryo probably thinks Ueda is sleeping. Ueda feels like he’s in a bad soap opera again and wonders if this one will ever end.
Probably not any time soon, since he can’t bring himself to say “I don’t care,” back.
~
“Your work is important. “ Ryo tells him over breakfast.
Ueda furrows his eyebrows, seeing as Ryo grips his chopsticks to the point they slip from between his fingers.
“Okay,” he says, dejected.
“Tatsuya,” Ryo tries again. Instead of finishing the sentence, he kisses Ueda over the table top, harsh and deep and claiming.
“I’ll do my best,” Ueda sighs against Ryo’s lips. Ryo is important too.
“Don’t let Kamenashi grope you too much. He’s always been a bit of an opportunist,” Ryo says. Then he kicks Ueda out, calling him a taxi to a street twenty minutes of walk away from his apartment.
~
Ueda hears Nakamaru as he asks Kame what’s really important for him. He shudders behind the door and sticks his head around it before Kame has to answer.
“Have fun with your new boyfriend,” Nakamaru tells him when he sees Ueda and storms past him. Ueda wonders if the soap opera he’s starring in is actually for teenagers. Because this script suits that far more than something aimed at an adult audience. He sighs and tells Kame he’ll go see Yuichi.
“What do you want?” Nakamaru asks, hurt and angry at the same time, and Ueda winces. Is this how Ryo feels too? How much is he hiding inside? What was it that Ueda should have said this morning?
And why is he here, solving other people’s relationship crisis instead of making sure he at least figures out his own? Right, Yuichi is his friend. He might as well try and not break any more ties important to him because of one silly picture.
“You're not mad at me, are you? This isn't my fault you know,” Ueda says.
“... I know. I'm sorry,” Nakamaru replies.
“You're not really jealous, are you?” Maybe at least now, Ueda could say the right thing. “Kame really isn't my type,” he says, feeling of slight deja-vu settling in his stomach. “I like girls, you know,” he adds.
That should make Nakamaru at ease. It’s a white lie, but saying “I’m in a complicated almost relationship with Nishikido Ryo who pretends to be okay with me having a fake boyfriend” felt a little… long winded.
“I'm not jealous,” Nakamaru argues, and in that instant Ueda just knows he is lying. “I know Kame is dedicated to his job. But I always figured that if it came to it, he'd choose me.”
“Perhaps you don't know him as well as you think,” Ueda says.
That might be too harsh. But he is suddenly done saving others for the day. Your work is important, he hears Ryo say.
So are you, Ueda types a text to Ryo. It’s probably too cryptic. But maybe Ryo will understand.
This isn’t a competition, Ryo replies that night when Ueda is almost asleep.
~
When KAT-TUN’s concerts start, even messages become sparse between Ueda and Ryo. When the show moves to Osaka, it hits Ueda even more, hearing the familiar accent all around him. He throws himself into work. He has fun, and on some level he even enjoys the extra fanservice with Kame. It keeps the crowd in a frenzy, which gives him more energy in return.
Later, at night, when he lies in the hotel bed, he wonders if he and Ryo could have survived this. Maybe he just wasn’t enough. Enough of temptation for Ryo, enough of a draw for him to stay a little longer. Most likely it was just them being too fragile yet, not like Kame and Nakamaru. They seem to have a history, something to build on. He envies them.
~
This is my last night in Osaka. I know you’re here too. Come see the concert Ueda types.
Not a good idea. Send me a DVD! Ryo types back.
Only if we watch it together, Ueda dares to answer. There are no more new messages until he goes on stage.
~
Ueda plans to enjoy the last day in Osaka. He is more than ready to go back to Tokyo, to his early morning jogs that have turned into his private sulking sessions, to the odd trees in the park and silly memories, and his piano and the random music sheets Ryo left scattered there over the months of practicing.
It’s just playing it up for the audience when he decides he should join Junno and Nakamaru in the ikemen team mid-concert. He suspects Nakamaru will let him do it; maybe he’ll even take the opportunity to switch teams with him. What he doesn’t expect is a cold shower, Nakamaru’s hard stare and the reminder of his insecurities.
It’s silly. But Nakamaru basically calling him ugly just takes Ueda down a strange trail of memories, to the awkward person he used to be. How could he have expected Ryo to fight for a person that used to be so strange?
“I'm sorry, Tatsuya,” Nakamaru says all of a sudden, and Ueda doesn’t even know how they ended up sitting together on the side of the stage, mikes turned off. “I know you don't want this any more than I do... I just... I miss my boyfriend. I miss all those times he would be all over me, even those times when I knew he was doing it just for the cameras. He won't even touch me now, not on camera, barely even in private.”
But that’s just it. Nakamaru doesn’t know. He has no clue about how much Ueda doesn’t want it. And Ueda has had enough. He doesn’t want to hear this. Shouldn’t he be telling this to Kame?
“Then you need to do something about it,” Ueda finally says, not really caring about possible implications.
~
Actually, no soap opera ever could be as twisted as Ueda’s life. He closes his eyes and just lets it happen, as Nakamaru bursts out during the encore and spills the whole twisted truth, including his own relationship with Kame to the full dome of fangirls. He doesn’t even have time to feel relieved, watching in fascination as Kame slaps Nakamaru and storms out, then Nakamaru follows him but not until he bows to the audience.
“ … and then you go out with him and not only that, you manage to get yourself photographed with him.” Ueda hears the end of the argument between Kame and Nakamaru, and cringes.
Apparently, he is still fed up with them. He knows it’s just resentment and jealousy because they will probably still work it out, but he will not be talked about as if he was plague, someone who should not be named. He won’t be put down by someone so close to him. He has done everything in his power to act like a decent person through this, to keep his cool and to be a good friend.
“I have a name,” Ueda says coolly. It’s a warning.
But he only gets called ugly in return, and Junno is giggling, and… Ueda swings his arm, fist clenched, and when it collides with Nakamaru’s cheek, it feels so good. It’s letting go of all his frustration and not restraining himself for the first time since that one silly picture was printed. He gives Nakamaru one last look, and for once he has no sunglasses on to hide how hurt and tired from all this charade he is feeling.
Perhaps he should have hit Nakamaru sooner though, seeing how Kame rushes to his side all of a sudden. Clearly Kame can slap Nakamaru all he wants, that kinky bastard, but when Ueda reminds Nakamaru what respect of your friends is, it’s the end of the world.
Ueda walks out of the dome without changing or showering and asks to be taken to the hotel. He just needs to grab another pair of shoes so he can go for a run. At least this time, it is very unlikely Kame will call.
~
“I really thought Kame liked mature women,” Ryo says, when Ueda notices him leaning against his hotel room door.
“What are you --” Ueda starts.
“Why the hell were you kissing Kamenashi in front of the full dome? Was that really necessary?” Ryo interrupts him, grabbing him by the collar the moment Ueda is in his reach.
“I’ve already punched Nakamaru today, let me go if you don’t want to end up the same,” Ueda says. He wonders if he sounds as strung up as he feels. Ryo was at the concert. He came, and Ueda is barely standing underneath the weight of all that has happened in the past few months suddenly collapsing onto him.
Ryo drops his hands from him though he risks a low whistle. Ueda miraculously doesn’t break the card key as he tries to open the door.
They almost knock each other off their feet as they hurry up inside Ueda’s room, trying to fit into the door frame at the same time.
“I’m a jealous freak, okay?” Ryo starts the moment the door closes behind them. “I thought we would be a disaster. That you would--”
Ueda kisses Ryo, just pressing his lips against Ryo’s, and slumps into him a little. Or maybe a lot. Of course he knew Ryo was jealous. But he somehow managed to forget that actually meant Ryo must kind of like him.
Ryo hisses when Ueda bites his lower lip. “… Wouldn’t want… me,” he whispers, finishing what he was saying, then grips Ueda’s sides.
All the tension, all the expectations that got suspended somewhere between the five lines of a tabloid report come back to Ueda. Then Ryo pulls him even closer and licks into Ueda’s mouth. Ueda loses his breath, his head finally completely empty -- all but Ryo’s taste and the feel of his chopped lips and rough fingers lost.
Then Ueda’s phone rings. They ignore it, but it keeps on ringing, and Ueda knows it’s Kame because he’d set up a different ring tone for him during the past two months, one that he hates now, that makes him alarmed. Ryo growls and digs Ueda’s phone from his back pocket.
“Get rid of him,” he mutters, pulling Ueda away from the door and more inside the room and pushing him down on the bed while Ueda shakily answers the phone.
“Ueda. What are you doing?” Kame asks right away.
“What do you care?” Ueda knows he sounds breathless and whiny.
“Oh, so you're sulking.”
“I'm jogging.”
“Could you jog to the hospital?”
“No.” Hell no. Ryo is happily sucking onto the skin on Ueda’s chest, and there will be a hickey there for sure.
“He really is sorry, you know.”
“I bet he is.” Ueda hangs up before a moan spills from him. Ryo laughs.
“Idiots,” Ueda mutters, and he is not sure who he is berating, only that he has somehow gotten to the episode three hundred and forty nine of the first season of his very own personal soap opera. The happy ending is hanging in the air.
“You’ll go see him tomorrow, right?” Ryo mutters, mounting over Ueda.
Ueda sighs. “Depends on how good of a mood I’m in come morning.” he says.
Ryo grins. “Keep me overnight then, so I can make your morning.”
Ueda buries his fingers into Ryo’s hair.
“I’ll keep you as long as you want to stay,” he mutters.
Ryo grins at him, this wide smile that crinkles his face like it is a thin, fragile piece of paper, and his eyes are shining. And oh god, it’s all so sickeningly sweet, the way they just stay like that, suspended in all those implications. Ueda pulls Ryo down into a kiss, so he doesn’t have to think about it.
~
If Ueda stops to think about it, KAT-TUN sure makes it into news a lot these days. But as he just sits there during the press conference the next day, listening to all kind of way too detailed information on Nakamaru’s and Kame’s love life, he feels himself bubbling with laughter.
The press mentions he looked positively mischievous. The manager tells him he didn’t look remorseful enough. Ueda glares at him and politely reminds him who had suggested the whole lie in the first place, then announces he’s taking the rest of the day off.
He sighs as he walks to the parking lot, perfectly ready to go home and be done with this day. As he approaches his car, he realizes Nishikido Ryo is leaning against its front door.
“I need a ride,” he says. Ueda bursts out laughing at the way Ryo licks his lips.
“Any time,” he says, still laughing, and presses against Ryo while he reaches behind him to unlock the door manually.
“Smooth,” Ryo mutters against Ueda’s lips, though he doesn’t dare to kiss Ueda here.
“Wait until we get to my place and I you’ll see what smooth is,” Ueda answers, pushing Ryo towards the passenger seat and getting inside himself.
“Show me what you’ve got,” Ryo challenges, his hand already on Ueda’s knees. As Ueda starts the car, he thinks this would make a perfect final scene to his soap opera, the two of them driving towards a better tomorrow, or something like that.
Rating: PG-13
Group/Pairing: Ryo/Ueda, cameos of KAT-TUN members
Warnings: Ueda with a crush and forced into a fake relationship is definitely whiny.
Notes: Dear akumanakoi, I hope I didn’t completely butcher your fic because I like it a lot! ♥ I borrowed a few lines of dialogue from the original. 5655 words.
Link to Original Story: Paparazzi
Link to Original Writer: akumanakoi @ yumetamago
“He’s in mourning and he wants to play the piano like Chopin. Do me a favor,” Kame says.
Ueda has a drama role and a hairdresser appointment scheduled. He still puts Nishikido’s phone number into his contact list.
“If I’m going to rekindle my great relationship with Nishikido, he needs to call me first,” he says to Kame.
Nishikido does. He stammers and starts cursing halfway through. It’s endearing.
Ueda should have known, at the time, that this is how every fated romance in a second-rate soap opera starts.
~
Ueda isn’t really nervous the first time he puts his fingers against the piano keys in front of Nishikido. He just needs to take a breath before he presses down on them.
“Your finger is crooked,” Nishikido says then.
“It is,” Ueda nods, and quickly runs his hand through the entire range of the instrument in front of him.
~
A few weeks later, Nishikido slides his fingers through Ueda’s now nonexistent hair with the same enthusiasm as he slides them across Ueda’s piano keys.
He is curious. And a little turned on.
“Amazing,” he mutters.
~
Ryo Nishikido is slow.
By now, Ueda wants Ryo. And Ryo wants Ueda.
Still, it’s a game, like they’re high school sweethearts, or something. Not that Ueda would know anything about that. He’d been too awkward in high school. And he hadn’t particularly preferred boys back then. Girls had been hard to find.
With Ryo, everything is pull and push, and three steps back after every baby step forward. It’s still the best almost-relationship Ueda’s had. Because Ryo looks at him with dark eyes and brings him beers and takeout instead of chocolate and flowers, and licks his lip before running away from the piano when they practice. He touches Ueda with cool fingers, pretends it didn’t happen, and then does it again.
Ueda doesn’t even mind the verbal abuse. When Ryo says that Ueda has stupid huge lips, Ueda hears “I want to kiss you.” He wouldn’t mind.
When Ryo says that Ueda’s current haircut makes him look like a plucked chicken, Ueda knows he’s sorry he didn’t get to pull on his long hair.
And when Ryo says that Ueda has freaky cheekbones, Ueda hears “I can’t look away.”
~
Ueda figures this is how it feels when Nishikido Ryo sets his mind to something. Persistent, if a little confusing, but mostly thrilling. As winter rolls into its second half, though, Ueda is ready for more.
~
Ueda is pressed against the side of his own car the moment he gets out of it in the underground parking lot of his apartment building. His back protests a little. It’d been a long day on set and then Kamenashi dragged him out to drink.
But then a blob of black hair is right in Ueda’s face, and Ryo’s tongue is in his mouth. So he doesn’t complain. He grabs the hair at the back of Ryo’s head, buries his fingers in it. He slumps against the cool metal behind him while Ryo does a good job of robbing him of his breath, tongue sweeping over his teeth and then deeper. Ueda sucks on it, not wanting to fall behind.
“Fuck,” Ryo mutters when he pulls away. “Why didn’t you let me do this sooner?”
Ueda laughs, leaning his head back, then moans half through it when he feels Ryo’s mouth against the hollow of his throat. “It’s you that chickened out every time. I was starting to think you didn’t know how to do it.”
So Ryo proves him wrong; kisses Ueda until his lips are bruised and his body doesn’t even know it hurt earlier that day.
“Where were you so long anyway?” Ryo whines when they spring apart, reflectors of a car parking a bit further away causing a bitten tongue and a whole different level of higher pulse rate.
“Does it matter?” Ueda asks, locking his car at last. He contemplates whether it is now okay to grab Ryo’s hand. They did just kiss. Finally. He wants to take Ryo upstairs and skip all the other steps forward in favor of the final one. Or do them all at once. Preferably bend Ryo over his piano. He had wanted to do that since Ryo leaned against it the first time he came into his apartment.
“So princess, show me what you’ve got,” he had said.
Ueda would love to show him right now.
But then Ryo sighs.
“I’ve got to go now. I have filming in Osaka tomorrow. I just…” He stops, and suddenly they are back to high school.
Ueda grins. “Kissing. We are good at it,” he says.
Ryo couldn’t have waited anymore.
The realization makes Ueda high-school-giddy. Then he cries a little inside because he is so easy. Ryo blushes and gives him this half smirk, half smile and kisses him one more time, just a peck. And Ueda is weak in his knees.
“Of course we are. It’s me kissing you,” Ryo says. He turns around and runs out of the parking lot.
Ueda smiles like an idiot until he falls asleep. Never mind if that too feels like it’s been cut out from a cheesy romance drama for housewives.
~
KAT-TUN’S UEDA AND KAMENASHI IN SECRET RELATIONSHIP!
Ueda reads the headline in attachment to a message from Ryo. It’s full of hysteric laughter emoticons.
Your drama has the best publicity strategy, Ryo has written.
Kamenashi is taking it much worse, but Ueda can’t be bothered. All he sees is Ryo laughing really hard while passing Nagoya on the train.
I’ve just realized. IT’S THE BEST DECOY EVER! reads another message from Ryo.
Until the moment their manager tells them they are going to milk it. Ueda wonders if he looks as sick as he suddenly feels inside.
~
Ueda sits through the press conference with his hands balled into fists.
He sees the hungry smiles behind the camera flashes. He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to talk about how he likes men, or how he loves Kame. He doesn’t want to think about fake stories detailing endearment and doesn’t want to be photographed from all angles as he talks about them. He doesn’t want to be a pioneer in the field of a strange public love story.
Most of all, he doesn’t want to check his phone. Maybe Ryo hasn’t seen the news yet.
It’s good that Kame is such a professional, getting through all the questions while Ueda blinks away the anger and panic behind his sunglasses. But then Ueda starts blaming him. Kame is too big of a professional. He is going to be so happy with all this attention; new ways to promote himself and KAT-TUN. At first Kame was just afraid of hurting his reputation, but now… Ueda can’t think of anyone Kame might lose because of this.
And yes, Ueda knows, he is being too sulky and selfish, thank you very much.
After a while they leave the stage, and Kame takes Ueda’s hand. For a moment, Ueda feels calmer. He can do this. He’s not alone in this alternate universe of absurdity. It’s the closeness of another human--of someone who knows the mess they’re getting into, that makes him see things in a better light. Then he realizes he and Kame will have to touch regularly now. In public. Intimately. His lips burn suddenly, the shadow of the kiss from just hours in the past. He squeezes the hand in his tighter and bites the inside of his lip.
~
Fuck. Tatsuya. Tell me this is a lie.
I WAS WITH YOU YESTERDAY
If you were double timing me with fucking Kamenashi, you are dead.
No. I’m much better than Kamenashi. Kamenashi likes old women.
This is one big fat lie. How could anyone believe it?
I…
Ueda, fuck this
There are no missed phone calls. Just those messages. And Ueda doesn’t know what he is supposed to tell Ryo. What he can type into a message. How he is supposed to explain this. If he can. And what will happen, if he does.
With Ryo, it was good. It could have been something. But now Ueda is dating Kamenashi, and another car reflector passing by as Ueda and Ryo kiss could be deadly; for KAT-TUN, for Ueda, and for Kame. And for Ryo.
I can’t. Ueda texts back.
Then.
Nothing’s changed. he types. Ueda knows he’s lying. I still go for a run every morning. You know, the deserted park a few blocks away.
He hits the send button and sinks into the car seat, trying to block everything out as he is driven to yet another emergency meeting where he will learn how he and Kame fell in love.
This would truly make a perfect script. Three hundred parts of a series, most of them focused on the internal turmoil of one unfortunate Ueda Tatsuya.
~
Ryo has a simple black hat on. And aviator sunglasses. Ueda has his own pair on. They must look like a couple of idiots at 5:30 am. Ueda hopes no one is watching.
They aren’t even jogging properly.
“This is the stupidest concert promotion ever,” Ryo says through gritted teeth. Ueda has said nothing yet. But apparently that is the logic that Ryo’s decided to go with.
“What if it was you and me?” Ueda asks. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it. How that would feel. Maybe he would have been on cloud nine at the moment. Maybe this means, in the future, it could be them. He knows he is being idiot, even thinking about this.
“But it isn’t. At least it’s Kamenashi. You’re not his type.”
Ueda furrows his eyebrows. “Why does that matter?”
“You’re supposed to tell me now he isn’t your type either,” Ryo grits through his teeth.
“He isn’t. It’s not him anyway.” Ueda says quickly. When Ryo looks confused -- or his mouth does as that’s the only part of him Ueda can see -- he forces himself to continue. “I’d rather be in a secret relationship with you.”
Ryo stops abruptly, hands on his knees, breathing hard. “Can’t go on anymore,” he whispers.
“Just take deep breaths,” Ueda mutters, stopping too and wanting to rub Ryo’s back. He doesn’t.
“Okay. Okay,” Ryo repeats. “This could still be just a better cover-up. Right? This is a good thing,” he finishes.
Ueda says nothing.
~
Ueda suggests they continue with the piano lessons anyway. They have results to prove that’s what they’re really doing. People will be so focused on Kame and him that no one would be suspicious. Hopefully.
But Ryo says he’s getting too busy again, what with the Kanjani8 anniversary coming up.
It might be just texts for a while he mails.
Is that it? Ueda sends back.
We’re both pros at this, is Ryo’s answer, and while Ryo doesn’t say it, Ueda knows what they are talking about. That Ryo is pulling back, and not because he is busy.
~
I miss your stupid crooked pinky finger.
Ryo sends few days later.
Ueda is asked what he likes about Kame the most. For about the fifth time that day. When they ask Kame, all he ever mentions is Ueda’s body. Then Ueda is left coming up with creative answers.
When he talks about passion, he wonders if anyone can tell he isn’t really thinking about Kame. He just wishes Ryo wasn’t just as much of a pro as Kame is. Against his better judgment, he wants Ryo to not be understanding about the situation.
How can anyone even believe what he’s saying. Passion for work is not what you fall in love with.
Ueda knows Ryo is in Tokyo these days. He also knows the shortest way to his apartment.
Bu then Kame parks himself and three bottles of wine in Ueda’s living room because Potato wants to test how well they know each other.
“What is my favorite meal?” Kame asks Ueda.
“Mayonnaise,” Ueda answers.
Kame falls sideways laughing. “We are so going to hell,” he says when he is done catching his breath.
“Right about now, it might be nicer there,” Ueda tells him back.
Kame doesn’t mention that Ueda isn’t as cool when he’s not wearing his sunglasses as when those are firmly in place on top of Ueda’s nose during the endless shoots and interviews. He just smiles a little sadly and nods.
“Would I be allowed to take a few more people along with us?”
“The entire agency, for all I care,” Ueda mutters.
“I’m not that demanding,” Kame replies. Ueda wonders if he is self-projecting the sulkiness into Kame’s tone.
I miss your bad piano skills. Ueda types later that night, when he is sitting behind his piano, drinking the wine Kame left behind, that he knows will make him extra sick the next day.
~
That’s what Ueda says to Kame, when he asks his fake boyfriend not to put his hair right into his face anymore. “I feel even more sick then.”
“Don’t be difficult,” Kame shrugs, slinging an arm around Ueda again. “It’s just for a show.”
Kame uses the same aftershave as Ryo. What are they? Toiletry buddies?
~
Every morning, Ueda jogs through that same park. He slows down, looks around, before moving on.
Every time, Kame manages to call at just the moment Ueda is about to leave the park behind. With the way Kame questions him, Ueda feels like they are a part of some major criminal operation, not a fake relationship. He looks around one more time, and when he sees no signs of his real almost-kind-of-great-relationship approaching, he steps back into the slowly awakening streets.
“Having fun?” Kame asks.
“I was,” Ueda answers, thinking back to the time he dragged Ryo here for the first time, after they had spent the night playing the piano and the guitar and being foolish because neither of them had wanted to go to sleep.
~
I saw you and Kame in a magazine. He likes your body. How original. comes a message from Ryo. There are snickering emoticons filling the rest of it.
“I want the bed,” Ueda say when he drops his duffle bag in Kame’s apartment.
“No,” Kame says, hands on his hips. “Don’t act spoiled.”
“I deserve the bed,” Ueda pouts. Kame seems amused.
“You can have the bed when we are in your apartment.”
“You’re not coming over. Not again,” Ueda says. “Not to stay overnight,” he adds.
At least not if Ueda can help it. Ueda knows jealous Ryo when he sees him. Or when he reads his texts, anyway. If Kame is okay with playing this game and with magazines writing about when he has sex with Ueda, fine then. But Ueda will not give them more reasons to do it.
“I’m going to sleep,” he says to Kame.
~
Ueda is woken up by swearing. He freezes. Even if this is a burglar, if he finds Ueda in the futon in Kame’s living room and not in Kame’s bed, they will have a problem. Then his half asleep brain realizes it -- there could be a burglar in Kame’s flat. He moves quickly and soon has an arm around the stranger’s neck.
“Who are you? What are you doing here?” he hisses.
“Tatsuya?” the man asks back hesitantly, and Ueda’s brain stops because why on earth is Nakamaru walking around Kame’s place at midnight. It takes him a moment to release Nakamaru from his grip.
“Yuichi?”
“What are you doing here?” Nakamaru asks and he sounds almost accusingly.
“What are you doing here?”
Nakamaru finds the switch miraculously fast, and they blink at each other in the bright light.
“What are you doing here?” Nakamaru asks yet again, now frowning on top of sounding whiny.
“Publicity,” Ueda replies, only managing to check the sourness in his voice so much with how he is still half dazed and wondering if this isn’t a dream to begin with. “They hoped someone would take pictures of me coming in and leaving tomorrow morning. So what is your explanation for sneaking around Kame's apartment in the middle of the night? How did you get in?”
Nakamaru stays strangely silent then, so Ueda feels almost saved by Kame stepping out of his bedroom.
“Tatsuya?” he starts to ask, his voice tilting into panic when he notices Nakamaru in his living room.
Ueda watches, in fascination, as the two of his bandmates speak to each other, fast and almost intimate.
“Yu-chan, I told you not to - Oh, this is bad. This is exactly why I told you not to come here.”
“Well I didn't know he was going to be here,” Nakamaru is saying.
“... Is something going on between you?” Ueda asks. Suddenly he feels sorry for Kame. And for Nakamaru. Because it is clear that there is something here. Something that he has no place in.
“No!” the too basically spit out at the same time.
“As if I'd get into a relationship with someone with a nose that big.”
“Hey, you, you -” Nakamaru is angry.
“I didn't mention anything about a relationship,” Ueda interrupts before they argue. Before he sees what Ryo and he could become.
“Look, you can't tell anyone, okay?” Kame whispers “We're trying so hard to keep it quiet.”
As if Ueda would. Still he is a little surprised. “You and him? I mean, I knew you were after Nakamaru, but I thought he was doing a great job not giving in.”
“Well I was, but -”
“I'm irresistible?”
“I'm not going to tell anyone, don't worry,” Ueda shrugs at last. “It's none of my business anyway. Can I go back to sleep now?” he adds. He doesn’t want to hear someone else’s love story now. He stretches and yawns hoping they will get the message.
Ueda feels almost comically as Kame first stares him down then tries to kick his own boyfriend out into the night. This is truly turning into a soap opera, with all the ‘love you’s thrown around. A really stupid one. Because Ueda would tie Ryo to a chair if the other appeared in his flat right now, not throw him out. Would Ryo come if Ueda too gave him a key?
It’s too soon for such gestures, though. It’s all wrong, and with them not really starting properly it would be too complicated to explain.
“Get a room,” Ueda mutters, burying himself underneath his blankets. He doesn’t want to hear or see more. It just makes him feel stupidly melancholic and… sorry for himself.
Until now, he was jealous of Kame because he thought Kame didn’t have anyone to hurt with their stunt. Now he is jealous because Kame has someone close enough to fight for him through the lie they are creating.
~
The next evening, Ueda asks Junno to drive him two blocks away from where Ryo lives, pretending his car needs maintenance and he wants to go eat octopus there. Junno does it, using the drive to talk about all the responses he has ready for when they ask him about Kame and Ueda’s relationship, something about turtle-dragons. He doesn’t question that Ueda doesn’t want company for the meal.
Ryo is home, but he almost doesn’t let Ueda in.
“Shut up. I slept on Kame’s floor last night. No one is going to find it weird if I don’t sleep home tonight either.”
Ryo’s ears get red, but he says nothing.
“I’m…” Ueda starts, then he takes a deep breath and just kisses Ryo.
They tumble towards the couch, and Ryo clutches to Ueda even more than Ueda clutches to him. When Ryo slides his mouth down Ueda’s neck, Ueda takes a shaky breath.
“I’m tired,” he says.
Ryo slows down, wraps an arm around Ueda’s middle, then rolls them off the couch. Ueda’s elbow hits the coffee table as they tumble to the floor. He still feels pretty great.
“Then let’s go sleep in a proper bed, princess. I might even kiss you to wake you up,” Ryo says, sighing, and he pulls Ueda up and into his bed. Ueda doesn’t even comment on the nickname. Whatever; if it really earns him a kiss.
When Ryo’s hair tickles Ueda’s nose, it feels pretty great.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Ueda hears Ryo says a little later. Ryo probably thinks Ueda is sleeping. Ueda feels like he’s in a bad soap opera again and wonders if this one will ever end.
Probably not any time soon, since he can’t bring himself to say “I don’t care,” back.
~
“Your work is important. “ Ryo tells him over breakfast.
Ueda furrows his eyebrows, seeing as Ryo grips his chopsticks to the point they slip from between his fingers.
“Okay,” he says, dejected.
“Tatsuya,” Ryo tries again. Instead of finishing the sentence, he kisses Ueda over the table top, harsh and deep and claiming.
“I’ll do my best,” Ueda sighs against Ryo’s lips. Ryo is important too.
“Don’t let Kamenashi grope you too much. He’s always been a bit of an opportunist,” Ryo says. Then he kicks Ueda out, calling him a taxi to a street twenty minutes of walk away from his apartment.
~
Ueda hears Nakamaru as he asks Kame what’s really important for him. He shudders behind the door and sticks his head around it before Kame has to answer.
“Have fun with your new boyfriend,” Nakamaru tells him when he sees Ueda and storms past him. Ueda wonders if the soap opera he’s starring in is actually for teenagers. Because this script suits that far more than something aimed at an adult audience. He sighs and tells Kame he’ll go see Yuichi.
“What do you want?” Nakamaru asks, hurt and angry at the same time, and Ueda winces. Is this how Ryo feels too? How much is he hiding inside? What was it that Ueda should have said this morning?
And why is he here, solving other people’s relationship crisis instead of making sure he at least figures out his own? Right, Yuichi is his friend. He might as well try and not break any more ties important to him because of one silly picture.
“You're not mad at me, are you? This isn't my fault you know,” Ueda says.
“... I know. I'm sorry,” Nakamaru replies.
“You're not really jealous, are you?” Maybe at least now, Ueda could say the right thing. “Kame really isn't my type,” he says, feeling of slight deja-vu settling in his stomach. “I like girls, you know,” he adds.
That should make Nakamaru at ease. It’s a white lie, but saying “I’m in a complicated almost relationship with Nishikido Ryo who pretends to be okay with me having a fake boyfriend” felt a little… long winded.
“I'm not jealous,” Nakamaru argues, and in that instant Ueda just knows he is lying. “I know Kame is dedicated to his job. But I always figured that if it came to it, he'd choose me.”
“Perhaps you don't know him as well as you think,” Ueda says.
That might be too harsh. But he is suddenly done saving others for the day. Your work is important, he hears Ryo say.
So are you, Ueda types a text to Ryo. It’s probably too cryptic. But maybe Ryo will understand.
This isn’t a competition, Ryo replies that night when Ueda is almost asleep.
~
When KAT-TUN’s concerts start, even messages become sparse between Ueda and Ryo. When the show moves to Osaka, it hits Ueda even more, hearing the familiar accent all around him. He throws himself into work. He has fun, and on some level he even enjoys the extra fanservice with Kame. It keeps the crowd in a frenzy, which gives him more energy in return.
Later, at night, when he lies in the hotel bed, he wonders if he and Ryo could have survived this. Maybe he just wasn’t enough. Enough of temptation for Ryo, enough of a draw for him to stay a little longer. Most likely it was just them being too fragile yet, not like Kame and Nakamaru. They seem to have a history, something to build on. He envies them.
~
This is my last night in Osaka. I know you’re here too. Come see the concert Ueda types.
Not a good idea. Send me a DVD! Ryo types back.
Only if we watch it together, Ueda dares to answer. There are no more new messages until he goes on stage.
~
Ueda plans to enjoy the last day in Osaka. He is more than ready to go back to Tokyo, to his early morning jogs that have turned into his private sulking sessions, to the odd trees in the park and silly memories, and his piano and the random music sheets Ryo left scattered there over the months of practicing.
It’s just playing it up for the audience when he decides he should join Junno and Nakamaru in the ikemen team mid-concert. He suspects Nakamaru will let him do it; maybe he’ll even take the opportunity to switch teams with him. What he doesn’t expect is a cold shower, Nakamaru’s hard stare and the reminder of his insecurities.
It’s silly. But Nakamaru basically calling him ugly just takes Ueda down a strange trail of memories, to the awkward person he used to be. How could he have expected Ryo to fight for a person that used to be so strange?
“I'm sorry, Tatsuya,” Nakamaru says all of a sudden, and Ueda doesn’t even know how they ended up sitting together on the side of the stage, mikes turned off. “I know you don't want this any more than I do... I just... I miss my boyfriend. I miss all those times he would be all over me, even those times when I knew he was doing it just for the cameras. He won't even touch me now, not on camera, barely even in private.”
But that’s just it. Nakamaru doesn’t know. He has no clue about how much Ueda doesn’t want it. And Ueda has had enough. He doesn’t want to hear this. Shouldn’t he be telling this to Kame?
“Then you need to do something about it,” Ueda finally says, not really caring about possible implications.
~
Actually, no soap opera ever could be as twisted as Ueda’s life. He closes his eyes and just lets it happen, as Nakamaru bursts out during the encore and spills the whole twisted truth, including his own relationship with Kame to the full dome of fangirls. He doesn’t even have time to feel relieved, watching in fascination as Kame slaps Nakamaru and storms out, then Nakamaru follows him but not until he bows to the audience.
“ … and then you go out with him and not only that, you manage to get yourself photographed with him.” Ueda hears the end of the argument between Kame and Nakamaru, and cringes.
Apparently, he is still fed up with them. He knows it’s just resentment and jealousy because they will probably still work it out, but he will not be talked about as if he was plague, someone who should not be named. He won’t be put down by someone so close to him. He has done everything in his power to act like a decent person through this, to keep his cool and to be a good friend.
“I have a name,” Ueda says coolly. It’s a warning.
But he only gets called ugly in return, and Junno is giggling, and… Ueda swings his arm, fist clenched, and when it collides with Nakamaru’s cheek, it feels so good. It’s letting go of all his frustration and not restraining himself for the first time since that one silly picture was printed. He gives Nakamaru one last look, and for once he has no sunglasses on to hide how hurt and tired from all this charade he is feeling.
Perhaps he should have hit Nakamaru sooner though, seeing how Kame rushes to his side all of a sudden. Clearly Kame can slap Nakamaru all he wants, that kinky bastard, but when Ueda reminds Nakamaru what respect of your friends is, it’s the end of the world.
Ueda walks out of the dome without changing or showering and asks to be taken to the hotel. He just needs to grab another pair of shoes so he can go for a run. At least this time, it is very unlikely Kame will call.
~
“I really thought Kame liked mature women,” Ryo says, when Ueda notices him leaning against his hotel room door.
“What are you --” Ueda starts.
“Why the hell were you kissing Kamenashi in front of the full dome? Was that really necessary?” Ryo interrupts him, grabbing him by the collar the moment Ueda is in his reach.
“I’ve already punched Nakamaru today, let me go if you don’t want to end up the same,” Ueda says. He wonders if he sounds as strung up as he feels. Ryo was at the concert. He came, and Ueda is barely standing underneath the weight of all that has happened in the past few months suddenly collapsing onto him.
Ryo drops his hands from him though he risks a low whistle. Ueda miraculously doesn’t break the card key as he tries to open the door.
They almost knock each other off their feet as they hurry up inside Ueda’s room, trying to fit into the door frame at the same time.
“I’m a jealous freak, okay?” Ryo starts the moment the door closes behind them. “I thought we would be a disaster. That you would--”
Ueda kisses Ryo, just pressing his lips against Ryo’s, and slumps into him a little. Or maybe a lot. Of course he knew Ryo was jealous. But he somehow managed to forget that actually meant Ryo must kind of like him.
Ryo hisses when Ueda bites his lower lip. “… Wouldn’t want… me,” he whispers, finishing what he was saying, then grips Ueda’s sides.
All the tension, all the expectations that got suspended somewhere between the five lines of a tabloid report come back to Ueda. Then Ryo pulls him even closer and licks into Ueda’s mouth. Ueda loses his breath, his head finally completely empty -- all but Ryo’s taste and the feel of his chopped lips and rough fingers lost.
Then Ueda’s phone rings. They ignore it, but it keeps on ringing, and Ueda knows it’s Kame because he’d set up a different ring tone for him during the past two months, one that he hates now, that makes him alarmed. Ryo growls and digs Ueda’s phone from his back pocket.
“Get rid of him,” he mutters, pulling Ueda away from the door and more inside the room and pushing him down on the bed while Ueda shakily answers the phone.
“Ueda. What are you doing?” Kame asks right away.
“What do you care?” Ueda knows he sounds breathless and whiny.
“Oh, so you're sulking.”
“I'm jogging.”
“Could you jog to the hospital?”
“No.” Hell no. Ryo is happily sucking onto the skin on Ueda’s chest, and there will be a hickey there for sure.
“He really is sorry, you know.”
“I bet he is.” Ueda hangs up before a moan spills from him. Ryo laughs.
“Idiots,” Ueda mutters, and he is not sure who he is berating, only that he has somehow gotten to the episode three hundred and forty nine of the first season of his very own personal soap opera. The happy ending is hanging in the air.
“You’ll go see him tomorrow, right?” Ryo mutters, mounting over Ueda.
Ueda sighs. “Depends on how good of a mood I’m in come morning.” he says.
Ryo grins. “Keep me overnight then, so I can make your morning.”
Ueda buries his fingers into Ryo’s hair.
“I’ll keep you as long as you want to stay,” he mutters.
Ryo grins at him, this wide smile that crinkles his face like it is a thin, fragile piece of paper, and his eyes are shining. And oh god, it’s all so sickeningly sweet, the way they just stay like that, suspended in all those implications. Ueda pulls Ryo down into a kiss, so he doesn’t have to think about it.
~
If Ueda stops to think about it, KAT-TUN sure makes it into news a lot these days. But as he just sits there during the press conference the next day, listening to all kind of way too detailed information on Nakamaru’s and Kame’s love life, he feels himself bubbling with laughter.
The press mentions he looked positively mischievous. The manager tells him he didn’t look remorseful enough. Ueda glares at him and politely reminds him who had suggested the whole lie in the first place, then announces he’s taking the rest of the day off.
He sighs as he walks to the parking lot, perfectly ready to go home and be done with this day. As he approaches his car, he realizes Nishikido Ryo is leaning against its front door.
“I need a ride,” he says. Ueda bursts out laughing at the way Ryo licks his lips.
“Any time,” he says, still laughing, and presses against Ryo while he reaches behind him to unlock the door manually.
“Smooth,” Ryo mutters against Ueda’s lips, though he doesn’t dare to kiss Ueda here.
“Wait until we get to my place and I you’ll see what smooth is,” Ueda answers, pushing Ryo towards the passenger seat and getting inside himself.
“Show me what you’ve got,” Ryo challenges, his hand already on Ueda’s knees. As Ueda starts the car, he thinks this would make a perfect final scene to his soap opera, the two of them driving towards a better tomorrow, or something like that.