Remix of panpipe's "Fiddy or Fifty"
Title: Live Streaming Blackmail
Rating: PG for drunkenness
Group/Pairing: Arashi & KAT-TUN, no real pairings but Nino/Kame friendship and some hilarious Sho/Koki
Warnings: This whole thing is weirdly embarrassing.
Notes: I hope you enjoy this, panpipe! The original was hilarious and I couldn't help but seeing the plotting that would have gone into this. Nino is a minx. Thanks to S for the beta!
Link to Original Story: Fiddy or Fifty
Link to Original Writer: panpipe
"I hate being put into a box," Kame enthuses, his words slightly slurred now that he's definitely on his nth drink of the evening. Even Nino has lost count at this point, which is saying something. "There are so many boxes," he continues, "that different people put me into. And I can't be in all the boxes at the same time. It's so...." He trails off, and Nino stares at him for a moment before wondering if he shouldn't finish the sentence for him.
"Confusing?" Nino tries, taking another sip of his whiskey. The only reason he's not as drunk as Kame is because he isn't drinking wine. But that definitely isn't to say that his razor-sharp mind isn't slightly dulled at the moment.
"Don't you think so?" Kame asks, the look in his eyes imploring. "You have a box. Aiba has a box. Sho has two boxes, I guess... More? I just... we all have... all of these boxes."
Nino furrows his brow, trying to work out what his own box is for a moment but gives up, in favor of following the one thought he can actually follow. "Sho's boxes are easy. He's a newscaster, but he's also a rapper." He wonders, briefly, if he's ever said anything more simplistic in his life.
"Exactly. Poor Koki," Kame says, shaking his head, "he's really an old school-style Johnny's when it comes to competing with Sho."
It's a bit oblique, but Nino knows that Kame's hinting to the fact that Koki got kicked out of high school (Jun's told him about the fight that got him expelled, and given the circumstances Nino would have happily made the same decision). And while the education gap isn't really a problem between most Johnny's, the fact that there are only two rappers makes the difference stark. Nino can't help the way his face falls in sympathy, letting out a sigh at the sheer injustice of the world.
"Hey," Kame says after a moment, jolting Nino back into the present. "Do you think that Sho would be a good friend for Koki? It's just that Koki really admires him, wants to be more like him. I think they should be together. I mean, just as sempai-kouhai, they should... explore... that relationship. I mean."
Nino holds up a hand to stop Kame babbling. "It's okay, I understand," he says sagely. "As long as Koki isn't too needy, I think Sho would be willing to be Koki's friend. I'm sure they have some things in common. Is Koki interested in Rastafarianism?"
"Rasta-what-ism?" Kame can barely get his mangled version of the word out of his mouth.
"Never mind," Nino says, waving his hand around a little too much. "We should force them to talk."
"How? Push them into a closet and lock it?"
Nino tries not to laugh at the simplicity of Kame's "plan". "No, nothing quite so 'seven minutes of heaven'," he says. "I was thinking of something bigger. Something more elaborate. Something..."
"Locking them out of the jimusho?"
Well, Nino considers, it wasn't quite what he had in mind, but it might as well work. "A solid plan, my friend," he says, and holds his hand out for Kame to shake. He does so, limply, but the deal has been done.
---
Nino wonders, the next week, whether Kame was actually serious. While Nino's very aware that in vino, veritas, he also never holds anyone to their word after the sun has risen the morning after. He decides to wait for Kame to make the next move, and doesn't have to wait long.
From: Turtle-face
Time: Tue, 24 July 2008, 16:13:29
Subject: the plan
i remember it. next wednesday. (i looked up your schedule) lunch time.
They work out the details through mails and phone calls over the next week, and by the time Wednesday comes around, everything is in place. Nino's sitting in front of his netbook, making sure the connection to the camera in the bushes is working, when Ohno's stomach rumbles, almost on cue.
He grins like the cat who's already eaten the canary and looks up at Sho. "Sho-chan, time to get lunch~" he sing-songs.
Sho looks up from where his nose was buried in a newspaper, and scowls. "Why does it have to be me?"
"Most people don't recognize you," Nino replies, smirking. "That's why it has to be you."
"I'm not even the one who has perfected a disguise for myself. Make Ohno go, if he's so clever."
"No way," Nino interrupts. "Ohno's the famous Maou now. People will totally recognize him. You haven't done anything in a while so you go." His logic is slightly flawed, but he knows Sho won't answer back. Sho keeps scowling at him for a moment, as though willing Nino to change his mind (that never works), but then gives up and folds his newspaper.
"Fine, but this is the last time I'm doing it," Sho says, as he does every time, and Nino nods as though this won't happen again, and finally Sho is out of the room.
"How do you get away with that every time?" Jun asks, looking up from his script. Nino just shrugs and grins, and Jun seems to remember who he's talking to. "Fair enough," he says, and turns back to the script book.
The room is silent as Nino watches the hedge-cam on mute. It's angled like a CCTV camera, so that he can capture both the hedges and part of the front door. Kame is waiting in the hedges, and as soon as Sho leaves the building, Kame turns to the camera and gives a thumbs up before hopping out and locking the door from the outside. Then, he goes off to hide in another location and Nino waits for Koki to arrive.
After a while of idly watching the deserted door, Nino realizes this is the most mind-numbing thing he's ever done. His eyes have glazed over and he's lost all connection with the world outside his computer screen, but that changes when Aiba slaps him on the back.
"What are you watching?" Aiba asks noisily, but Nino doesn't gather himself in time to hide the computer screen. "Wait, is that the talent entrance to the jimusho?" Aiba sits down heavily and Nino really really wants to close the screen, but that will break the connection and there's no point in doing this if there's no record.
Jun puts down his script book and has a disapproving look on his face before Nino has even replied, and Ohno looks up from his drawing with mild interest. "What are you up to, Nino?" Jun says, rounding the table and looking over Nino's shoulder.
"I -" Nino thinks about lying for a moment, and he has a couple of choice ones lined up (he's heard of a stalker in the area and wants to catch him out, he's hijacked the surveillance cameras for fun), but they don't sit well. "It's just a prank. Kame and I wanted to lock Sho out of the jimusho. It's nothing."
Understandably, none of the others believe him, though they don't have to say anything to make that known. They sit for a while in an odd sort of silence, though it's broken when Aiba decides to turn the volume on. Nino's happy for some background noise, and also pleased that there's no wind or rustling interference from the hedges surrounding the camera. As he's patting himself on the back for a well-installed spy cam, Koki arrives on the scene.
"Koki-kun?" Aiba questions, looking at Nino. Nino tries to look innocent, but it's the expression he's worst at; he can practically feel Jun's eyes rolling.
"Crap," Koki's voice comes out tinny but clear as he tries the door a couple of times. "What do I do?" He looks around a couple of times, adjusting his baseball cap and sunglasses. It might be the talent entrance to the jimusho, but it's not guarded from the outside, so anyone walking by can see. As the seconds pass, Koki's fear mounts, and after a while he heads for the bushes, just as Nino and Kame suspected. He doesn't dislodge the camera, thankfully, but obscures half of the screen with his face mask.
"This is so unnecessary," Jun says. "If you wanted to see what would happen when Sho and Koki are alone together, you should have pitched it to someone. It would be more interesting television than Cartoon KAT-TUN."
Nino smirked, and looked sideways at Jun. "You, my friend, are not as different from me as you'd like to be," he says slowly, and Jun swats ineffectually at his shoulder before pointing at the screen.
"Who's he calling?"
"Hello, Kame-chan?" Jun snorts at the diminutive title, and Aiba presses the volume button to hear better. "I'm stuck outside the jimusho back door, where are you? ... Ah, so far away! Okay, I'll wait ... Okay, bye~."
"Where is Kame-chan waiting?" Ohno muses from the other side of the table. Nino looks over the top of the netbook to see Ohno staring at the ceiling, as though imagining the whole thing as it unfolds aurally.
"Not far," Nino replies, "just around the corner. He's watching the feed on his phone, though."
For the next little while, nothing happens. Koki mumbles to himself about being late, being hungry, and wanting to eat some soba, but he falls silent after a while, moving to adjust his sunglasses and face mask every now and then. Just as Aiba starts to say "This is boring," a figure appears on the screen carrying a combini bag of bentos.
"Ah, Sho-chan!" Jun points at the screen, and Ohno finally moves from his seat to watch the tiny screen. Sho approaches the doors and pulls, hard, but they stick. He tries again. And again. And then hangs his head. He mumbles something inaudible - Aiba presses the volume button vigorously but it's too late.
"It is," Koki calls, and the noise is too loud coming from the computer. Jun reaches over to smack Aiba on the head before turning the volume down a couple of notches. Koki stands, and the camera can't see him anymore, but the look of recognition - and no small amount of fear - on Sho's face is unmistakable, and he takes a step back in surprise.
"I was late to work today, and when I got here the doors were locked. Not sure what's going on." Koki explains, but Sho is immutable. Koki clears his throat and steps out from the bushes, into the camera's line of sight. "I called Kame about ten minutes ago to ask him to come by with a spare key. He should be here soon enough."
"Oh. I'm sure I can call Ohno or MatsuJun or something and that would be faster," Sho offers, taking his phone out of his pocket.
"Nah, Kame's already on the train by now, so don't worry about it." It's clear to anyone that Koki just wants Sho to himself for a while, and that's probably why Sho nods in agreement but flips his phone open anyway.
Ohno's phone rings out from across the table, and they all look over at it. Nino turns to Ohno, who has taken up a seat behind him. "Don't answer it," he says, though Ohno doesn't really look like he's going anywhere.
On screen, Sho gives up and flips his phone shut again. It's awkwardly silent, and Nino can see Jun squirm in his seat. Of all of them, Jun has the most heightened sense of second-hand embarrassment, but he's only ever allowed to let it out behind closed doors. He's pulled his legs up onto the seat and practically sighs in relief when Sho finally speaks.
"So uh. What did you think of Kanye's latest album?" Sho asks, and Nino can't help but laugh. Sho's a good sport when it comes to remembering his sempai and kouhai's interests, but there lies a black hole of knowledge when it comes to KAT-TUN. Nino would actually be impressed that Sho remembered that Koki was their rapper, if it weren't for the shaved head and all the bling around his neck.
"Oh, I liked it. I think Fiddy's was better, though." It's Aiba's turn to laugh, this time. "Look, he doesn't even know what Koki's talking about!" he cackles, and though it's a slight difference from the general awkwardness of the moment, the tension in Sho's shoulders is a giveaway.
"Neither do I," Ohno says, speaking over Sho's waffling response.
"50 Cent," Aiba replies, still calming his giggles as his eyes remain glued to Sho on the screen. "Sho will kick himself when he remembers."
"... I knew Sho-kun had good taste." Koki says, beaming, and Jun finally gets up from his seat.
"I can't take this any more," he enthuses, though after a moment of pacing the room he sits back down, just as Koki joins Sho on the ledge next to the hedges - and the camera.
"You know... I've always admired you." Koki says, and the look on Sho's face says very clearly "get away," but Koki isn't reading the signals.
"Er," Sho stutters, looking even more uncomfortable now that he has to speak. "Thanks. I'm not sure I deserve that."
"No!" The volume distorts Koki's voice as it comes through the speakers, and Aiba giggles again as Sho's eyes widen in fear. Koki coughs into his hand as a save, and tries again. "I just mean. You're a very talented rapper."
"This is so painful," Jun whines, but he can't stop himself watching. Nino grins and watches as Sho returns the compliment. He can tell Sho's being truthful, and it takes the words out of Koki's mouth for a moment. Koki turns his head and the red in his cheeks is unmistakable. Aiba laughs again and points unnecessarily, "Koki -" he says, but can't get anything else out because he's laughing too much.
Ohno puts a hand on Aiba's shoulder to calm him down, but it's clear that they've missed something because all of a sudden Koki is on his feet. "I can sing some of them too, you know." And then, without prompt or warning, starts singing (in the very loosest of definitions) and dancing to A·RA·SHI.
At that point, there's no stopping Aiba laughing, because Ohno joins in, too, and Nino hides his own mirth behind his hand. Jun watches the scene on the screen through his fingers, but it's difficult to know who to be more embarrassed for - Koki, or Sho, who gets up a second later and attempts to quieten Koki by holding down his arms.
Sho says something, but Nino can't make it out over the noise of his cackling bandmates, but it doesn't really matter. All he knows is that Koki is staring directly at Sho's mouth, and the longer his gaze lingers, the more Jun ties himself in a knot in his chair.
Nino's phone goes off and he flips it open.
From: Turtle-face
Time: Wed, 1 Aug 2008, 13:13:29
Subject: embarrassment!
i can't take this. going in.
He doesn't need to read it out loud, though, because just at the moment that Sho jumps back from Koki leaning in, Kame appears on screen, holding his key up.
"Uh. Sorry I didn't get here faster. I hadn't realized you were locked out as well, Sakurai-kun." Kame says, and Nino privately makes a note to never doubt his acting skills again.
"Aw man," Aiba laments. "Wimp! Kame, we were watching that too!" He says to the screen, folding his arms.
"What, did you want to see them kiss?" Jun asks, unraveling himself and standing now that Sho has disappeared from the screen.
Aiba shrugs. "It would have made for good television," he says, grinning as they all move back to their original seats.
Nino's eyes are still on the screen as Kame picks the camera out of the hedge. "So," he says, angling the camera up his nose. Nino wonders how he still can't take self-video after years of being in Johnny's, "I hope you recorded that, because I want to keep it for posterity. And blackmail. Kame out."
Nino smirks and stops his screen recording before he closes the netbook and puts it away. Everyone else has gone back to their respective activities, so he picks up his DS just in time for the door to open and Sho to burst through.
"The food got cold," Sho says angrily, practically throwing the plastic bag at Nino. "You fucking owe me for this." Nino raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything.
---
A few days later, Kame and Nino are drunk again, this time at Nino's house. They've watched the video a couple of times, and it gets funnier as the bottle of whiskey gets emptier. They're now literally rolling on Nino's floor laughing as Koki starts singing A·RA·SHI, tears of mirth leaking from their eyes, and Kame is the first to catch his breath.
"I can't believe he did that," he breathes, getting the words out with great difficulty.
Nino struggles to get himself sitting up again. "I can't believe he almost kissed Sho in broad daylight," he says, reaching for his glass of whiskey. "Is Koki that much of an idiot?"
Kame shrugs. "He's infatuated with Sho that much."
Nino nods. "Haven't we all been," he says, because really, who hasn't? While he might not get any awards for being the prettiest Johnny in the bunch, he's one of the best all-rounders, with something to appeal to everyone. Nino remembers Kame's initial rant about boxes, and he thinks Sho might have the most boxes of all of them.
But Kame wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. "Not me," he says, reaching to take another sip of his own whiskey.
"Really?" Nino asks, his eyes widening. "Why not?"
Kame shrugs. "He's too... perfect. I mean, I know he isn't, not really, but that's his image. Even the fact that he sucks at sports is perfect." It's a measured explanation, one that doesn't quite match the way his words aren't pronounced quite properly. Though, as Nino will admit, in vino, veritas.
"Then who's your type?" Nino asks, though he realizes he didn't really need to bother asking - everyone knew Kame and Jin were basically together, even if there was that rocky patch a couple of years ago.
But the way Kame's staring at him is kind of familiar. "It's you, Nino," Kame breathes, and Nino panics, fear gripping his heart and he almost drops his glass as he scrambles to sit back away from Kame.
A moment later, though, Kame breaks into a fit of giggles and the noise shatters the moment. Nino's heart is still racing, but his panic releases its grip on him and he puts his drink down, relaxing into a more comfortable position on the floor.
"You should have seen your face," Kame says through his laughter. "Classic!"
Nino's just happy he's not about to be jumped by a drunk Kamenashi, so he shrugs. "As least you didn't get it on film."
Kame grins, reigning in his mirth for just a moment. "Or did I?"
The night ends with a few minor injuries (which they don't feel because of the alcohol), a ruined camera, and a promise to never use Koki and Sho's video against them (though neither of them agrees to delete the files). Nino can't be bothered helping Kame find a taxi, so he offers the couch.
"Kame," he says as Kame settles under a sheet on the couch.
"Hmm?" Kame replies, letting his eyes finally feel heavy with impending sleep.
"You're just as dastardly and conniving as I am."
Rating: PG for drunkenness
Group/Pairing: Arashi & KAT-TUN, no real pairings but Nino/Kame friendship and some hilarious Sho/Koki
Warnings: This whole thing is weirdly embarrassing.
Notes: I hope you enjoy this, panpipe! The original was hilarious and I couldn't help but seeing the plotting that would have gone into this. Nino is a minx. Thanks to S for the beta!
Link to Original Story: Fiddy or Fifty
Link to Original Writer: panpipe
"I hate being put into a box," Kame enthuses, his words slightly slurred now that he's definitely on his nth drink of the evening. Even Nino has lost count at this point, which is saying something. "There are so many boxes," he continues, "that different people put me into. And I can't be in all the boxes at the same time. It's so...." He trails off, and Nino stares at him for a moment before wondering if he shouldn't finish the sentence for him.
"Confusing?" Nino tries, taking another sip of his whiskey. The only reason he's not as drunk as Kame is because he isn't drinking wine. But that definitely isn't to say that his razor-sharp mind isn't slightly dulled at the moment.
"Don't you think so?" Kame asks, the look in his eyes imploring. "You have a box. Aiba has a box. Sho has two boxes, I guess... More? I just... we all have... all of these boxes."
Nino furrows his brow, trying to work out what his own box is for a moment but gives up, in favor of following the one thought he can actually follow. "Sho's boxes are easy. He's a newscaster, but he's also a rapper." He wonders, briefly, if he's ever said anything more simplistic in his life.
"Exactly. Poor Koki," Kame says, shaking his head, "he's really an old school-style Johnny's when it comes to competing with Sho."
It's a bit oblique, but Nino knows that Kame's hinting to the fact that Koki got kicked out of high school (Jun's told him about the fight that got him expelled, and given the circumstances Nino would have happily made the same decision). And while the education gap isn't really a problem between most Johnny's, the fact that there are only two rappers makes the difference stark. Nino can't help the way his face falls in sympathy, letting out a sigh at the sheer injustice of the world.
"Hey," Kame says after a moment, jolting Nino back into the present. "Do you think that Sho would be a good friend for Koki? It's just that Koki really admires him, wants to be more like him. I think they should be together. I mean, just as sempai-kouhai, they should... explore... that relationship. I mean."
Nino holds up a hand to stop Kame babbling. "It's okay, I understand," he says sagely. "As long as Koki isn't too needy, I think Sho would be willing to be Koki's friend. I'm sure they have some things in common. Is Koki interested in Rastafarianism?"
"Rasta-what-ism?" Kame can barely get his mangled version of the word out of his mouth.
"Never mind," Nino says, waving his hand around a little too much. "We should force them to talk."
"How? Push them into a closet and lock it?"
Nino tries not to laugh at the simplicity of Kame's "plan". "No, nothing quite so 'seven minutes of heaven'," he says. "I was thinking of something bigger. Something more elaborate. Something..."
"Locking them out of the jimusho?"
Well, Nino considers, it wasn't quite what he had in mind, but it might as well work. "A solid plan, my friend," he says, and holds his hand out for Kame to shake. He does so, limply, but the deal has been done.
---
Nino wonders, the next week, whether Kame was actually serious. While Nino's very aware that in vino, veritas, he also never holds anyone to their word after the sun has risen the morning after. He decides to wait for Kame to make the next move, and doesn't have to wait long.
From: Turtle-face
Time: Tue, 24 July 2008, 16:13:29
Subject: the plan
i remember it. next wednesday. (i looked up your schedule) lunch time.
They work out the details through mails and phone calls over the next week, and by the time Wednesday comes around, everything is in place. Nino's sitting in front of his netbook, making sure the connection to the camera in the bushes is working, when Ohno's stomach rumbles, almost on cue.
He grins like the cat who's already eaten the canary and looks up at Sho. "Sho-chan, time to get lunch~" he sing-songs.
Sho looks up from where his nose was buried in a newspaper, and scowls. "Why does it have to be me?"
"Most people don't recognize you," Nino replies, smirking. "That's why it has to be you."
"I'm not even the one who has perfected a disguise for myself. Make Ohno go, if he's so clever."
"No way," Nino interrupts. "Ohno's the famous Maou now. People will totally recognize him. You haven't done anything in a while so you go." His logic is slightly flawed, but he knows Sho won't answer back. Sho keeps scowling at him for a moment, as though willing Nino to change his mind (that never works), but then gives up and folds his newspaper.
"Fine, but this is the last time I'm doing it," Sho says, as he does every time, and Nino nods as though this won't happen again, and finally Sho is out of the room.
"How do you get away with that every time?" Jun asks, looking up from his script. Nino just shrugs and grins, and Jun seems to remember who he's talking to. "Fair enough," he says, and turns back to the script book.
The room is silent as Nino watches the hedge-cam on mute. It's angled like a CCTV camera, so that he can capture both the hedges and part of the front door. Kame is waiting in the hedges, and as soon as Sho leaves the building, Kame turns to the camera and gives a thumbs up before hopping out and locking the door from the outside. Then, he goes off to hide in another location and Nino waits for Koki to arrive.
After a while of idly watching the deserted door, Nino realizes this is the most mind-numbing thing he's ever done. His eyes have glazed over and he's lost all connection with the world outside his computer screen, but that changes when Aiba slaps him on the back.
"What are you watching?" Aiba asks noisily, but Nino doesn't gather himself in time to hide the computer screen. "Wait, is that the talent entrance to the jimusho?" Aiba sits down heavily and Nino really really wants to close the screen, but that will break the connection and there's no point in doing this if there's no record.
Jun puts down his script book and has a disapproving look on his face before Nino has even replied, and Ohno looks up from his drawing with mild interest. "What are you up to, Nino?" Jun says, rounding the table and looking over Nino's shoulder.
"I -" Nino thinks about lying for a moment, and he has a couple of choice ones lined up (he's heard of a stalker in the area and wants to catch him out, he's hijacked the surveillance cameras for fun), but they don't sit well. "It's just a prank. Kame and I wanted to lock Sho out of the jimusho. It's nothing."
Understandably, none of the others believe him, though they don't have to say anything to make that known. They sit for a while in an odd sort of silence, though it's broken when Aiba decides to turn the volume on. Nino's happy for some background noise, and also pleased that there's no wind or rustling interference from the hedges surrounding the camera. As he's patting himself on the back for a well-installed spy cam, Koki arrives on the scene.
"Koki-kun?" Aiba questions, looking at Nino. Nino tries to look innocent, but it's the expression he's worst at; he can practically feel Jun's eyes rolling.
"Crap," Koki's voice comes out tinny but clear as he tries the door a couple of times. "What do I do?" He looks around a couple of times, adjusting his baseball cap and sunglasses. It might be the talent entrance to the jimusho, but it's not guarded from the outside, so anyone walking by can see. As the seconds pass, Koki's fear mounts, and after a while he heads for the bushes, just as Nino and Kame suspected. He doesn't dislodge the camera, thankfully, but obscures half of the screen with his face mask.
"This is so unnecessary," Jun says. "If you wanted to see what would happen when Sho and Koki are alone together, you should have pitched it to someone. It would be more interesting television than Cartoon KAT-TUN."
Nino smirked, and looked sideways at Jun. "You, my friend, are not as different from me as you'd like to be," he says slowly, and Jun swats ineffectually at his shoulder before pointing at the screen.
"Who's he calling?"
"Hello, Kame-chan?" Jun snorts at the diminutive title, and Aiba presses the volume button to hear better. "I'm stuck outside the jimusho back door, where are you? ... Ah, so far away! Okay, I'll wait ... Okay, bye~."
"Where is Kame-chan waiting?" Ohno muses from the other side of the table. Nino looks over the top of the netbook to see Ohno staring at the ceiling, as though imagining the whole thing as it unfolds aurally.
"Not far," Nino replies, "just around the corner. He's watching the feed on his phone, though."
For the next little while, nothing happens. Koki mumbles to himself about being late, being hungry, and wanting to eat some soba, but he falls silent after a while, moving to adjust his sunglasses and face mask every now and then. Just as Aiba starts to say "This is boring," a figure appears on the screen carrying a combini bag of bentos.
"Ah, Sho-chan!" Jun points at the screen, and Ohno finally moves from his seat to watch the tiny screen. Sho approaches the doors and pulls, hard, but they stick. He tries again. And again. And then hangs his head. He mumbles something inaudible - Aiba presses the volume button vigorously but it's too late.
"It is," Koki calls, and the noise is too loud coming from the computer. Jun reaches over to smack Aiba on the head before turning the volume down a couple of notches. Koki stands, and the camera can't see him anymore, but the look of recognition - and no small amount of fear - on Sho's face is unmistakable, and he takes a step back in surprise.
"I was late to work today, and when I got here the doors were locked. Not sure what's going on." Koki explains, but Sho is immutable. Koki clears his throat and steps out from the bushes, into the camera's line of sight. "I called Kame about ten minutes ago to ask him to come by with a spare key. He should be here soon enough."
"Oh. I'm sure I can call Ohno or MatsuJun or something and that would be faster," Sho offers, taking his phone out of his pocket.
"Nah, Kame's already on the train by now, so don't worry about it." It's clear to anyone that Koki just wants Sho to himself for a while, and that's probably why Sho nods in agreement but flips his phone open anyway.
Ohno's phone rings out from across the table, and they all look over at it. Nino turns to Ohno, who has taken up a seat behind him. "Don't answer it," he says, though Ohno doesn't really look like he's going anywhere.
On screen, Sho gives up and flips his phone shut again. It's awkwardly silent, and Nino can see Jun squirm in his seat. Of all of them, Jun has the most heightened sense of second-hand embarrassment, but he's only ever allowed to let it out behind closed doors. He's pulled his legs up onto the seat and practically sighs in relief when Sho finally speaks.
"So uh. What did you think of Kanye's latest album?" Sho asks, and Nino can't help but laugh. Sho's a good sport when it comes to remembering his sempai and kouhai's interests, but there lies a black hole of knowledge when it comes to KAT-TUN. Nino would actually be impressed that Sho remembered that Koki was their rapper, if it weren't for the shaved head and all the bling around his neck.
"Oh, I liked it. I think Fiddy's was better, though." It's Aiba's turn to laugh, this time. "Look, he doesn't even know what Koki's talking about!" he cackles, and though it's a slight difference from the general awkwardness of the moment, the tension in Sho's shoulders is a giveaway.
"Neither do I," Ohno says, speaking over Sho's waffling response.
"50 Cent," Aiba replies, still calming his giggles as his eyes remain glued to Sho on the screen. "Sho will kick himself when he remembers."
"... I knew Sho-kun had good taste." Koki says, beaming, and Jun finally gets up from his seat.
"I can't take this any more," he enthuses, though after a moment of pacing the room he sits back down, just as Koki joins Sho on the ledge next to the hedges - and the camera.
"You know... I've always admired you." Koki says, and the look on Sho's face says very clearly "get away," but Koki isn't reading the signals.
"Er," Sho stutters, looking even more uncomfortable now that he has to speak. "Thanks. I'm not sure I deserve that."
"No!" The volume distorts Koki's voice as it comes through the speakers, and Aiba giggles again as Sho's eyes widen in fear. Koki coughs into his hand as a save, and tries again. "I just mean. You're a very talented rapper."
"This is so painful," Jun whines, but he can't stop himself watching. Nino grins and watches as Sho returns the compliment. He can tell Sho's being truthful, and it takes the words out of Koki's mouth for a moment. Koki turns his head and the red in his cheeks is unmistakable. Aiba laughs again and points unnecessarily, "Koki -" he says, but can't get anything else out because he's laughing too much.
Ohno puts a hand on Aiba's shoulder to calm him down, but it's clear that they've missed something because all of a sudden Koki is on his feet. "I can sing some of them too, you know." And then, without prompt or warning, starts singing (in the very loosest of definitions) and dancing to A·RA·SHI.
At that point, there's no stopping Aiba laughing, because Ohno joins in, too, and Nino hides his own mirth behind his hand. Jun watches the scene on the screen through his fingers, but it's difficult to know who to be more embarrassed for - Koki, or Sho, who gets up a second later and attempts to quieten Koki by holding down his arms.
Sho says something, but Nino can't make it out over the noise of his cackling bandmates, but it doesn't really matter. All he knows is that Koki is staring directly at Sho's mouth, and the longer his gaze lingers, the more Jun ties himself in a knot in his chair.
Nino's phone goes off and he flips it open.
From: Turtle-face
Time: Wed, 1 Aug 2008, 13:13:29
Subject: embarrassment!
i can't take this. going in.
He doesn't need to read it out loud, though, because just at the moment that Sho jumps back from Koki leaning in, Kame appears on screen, holding his key up.
"Uh. Sorry I didn't get here faster. I hadn't realized you were locked out as well, Sakurai-kun." Kame says, and Nino privately makes a note to never doubt his acting skills again.
"Aw man," Aiba laments. "Wimp! Kame, we were watching that too!" He says to the screen, folding his arms.
"What, did you want to see them kiss?" Jun asks, unraveling himself and standing now that Sho has disappeared from the screen.
Aiba shrugs. "It would have made for good television," he says, grinning as they all move back to their original seats.
Nino's eyes are still on the screen as Kame picks the camera out of the hedge. "So," he says, angling the camera up his nose. Nino wonders how he still can't take self-video after years of being in Johnny's, "I hope you recorded that, because I want to keep it for posterity. And blackmail. Kame out."
Nino smirks and stops his screen recording before he closes the netbook and puts it away. Everyone else has gone back to their respective activities, so he picks up his DS just in time for the door to open and Sho to burst through.
"The food got cold," Sho says angrily, practically throwing the plastic bag at Nino. "You fucking owe me for this." Nino raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything.
---
A few days later, Kame and Nino are drunk again, this time at Nino's house. They've watched the video a couple of times, and it gets funnier as the bottle of whiskey gets emptier. They're now literally rolling on Nino's floor laughing as Koki starts singing A·RA·SHI, tears of mirth leaking from their eyes, and Kame is the first to catch his breath.
"I can't believe he did that," he breathes, getting the words out with great difficulty.
Nino struggles to get himself sitting up again. "I can't believe he almost kissed Sho in broad daylight," he says, reaching for his glass of whiskey. "Is Koki that much of an idiot?"
Kame shrugs. "He's infatuated with Sho that much."
Nino nods. "Haven't we all been," he says, because really, who hasn't? While he might not get any awards for being the prettiest Johnny in the bunch, he's one of the best all-rounders, with something to appeal to everyone. Nino remembers Kame's initial rant about boxes, and he thinks Sho might have the most boxes of all of them.
But Kame wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. "Not me," he says, reaching to take another sip of his own whiskey.
"Really?" Nino asks, his eyes widening. "Why not?"
Kame shrugs. "He's too... perfect. I mean, I know he isn't, not really, but that's his image. Even the fact that he sucks at sports is perfect." It's a measured explanation, one that doesn't quite match the way his words aren't pronounced quite properly. Though, as Nino will admit, in vino, veritas.
"Then who's your type?" Nino asks, though he realizes he didn't really need to bother asking - everyone knew Kame and Jin were basically together, even if there was that rocky patch a couple of years ago.
But the way Kame's staring at him is kind of familiar. "It's you, Nino," Kame breathes, and Nino panics, fear gripping his heart and he almost drops his glass as he scrambles to sit back away from Kame.
A moment later, though, Kame breaks into a fit of giggles and the noise shatters the moment. Nino's heart is still racing, but his panic releases its grip on him and he puts his drink down, relaxing into a more comfortable position on the floor.
"You should have seen your face," Kame says through his laughter. "Classic!"
Nino's just happy he's not about to be jumped by a drunk Kamenashi, so he shrugs. "As least you didn't get it on film."
Kame grins, reigning in his mirth for just a moment. "Or did I?"
The night ends with a few minor injuries (which they don't feel because of the alcohol), a ruined camera, and a promise to never use Koki and Sho's video against them (though neither of them agrees to delete the files). Nino can't be bothered helping Kame find a taxi, so he offers the couch.
"Kame," he says as Kame settles under a sheet on the couch.
"Hmm?" Kame replies, letting his eyes finally feel heavy with impending sleep.
"You're just as dastardly and conniving as I am."