Remix for hotfruits
Title: I promise
Rating: PG-13
Group/Pairing: Hey!Say!JUMP/OkaYama
Warnings: None.
Notes: I have always admired hotfruits for her writing style, so naturally when I got assigned to her I got extremely excited and a little nervous. I picked this drabble because OkaYama is one of my guilty pleasures and because I wanted to portray Yamada’s line of thoughts as he was helping Keito... In a way, his reasons to do so.
I want to thank my lovely beta J. for helping me out on such a sort notice and hotfruits for writing this fic in the first place.
Link to Original Story: Confidence
Link to Original Writer: hotfruits
He noticed it. And honestly, how could he not? How he looked down whenever they passed Juniors who had been in the Jimusho longer than him, how he looked like he wanted to disappear when he was once again ignored during an interview and the wry smile he produced at the mention of his father.
Ryosuke saw it all, how Keito endured everything on his own.
All Ryosuke wanted, basically, was to run up to him, envelop in him a hug and never let go. But instead the younger one watched from afar how Keito broke down, time after time.
Today was one of those days. Practice hadn’t gone too well for the oldest 7 member, and Ryosuke had seen the anger, sadness and disappointment on his face.
He had seen how Keito scolded himself every time he made the wrong move, how he endured it even when Kouta had lost his patience and told him how it should have been done. He had watched it, from a safe distance, like he always did, but he hadn’t done anything.
He bit on his lip, cursed himself for being such a coward, for not finding the courage to walk up to him and ask him that simple question.
“Keito, are you okay?”
He startled himself. He had thought out loud. At least there was no backing out of it now.
Keito looks back at him, giving him a well rehearsed smile. Ryosuke’s heart aches at the smile. He wants to grab Keito by the shoulders and shake him, tell him he doesn’t have to smile when he’s not happy. Instead he stays in his place, at the other side of the room.
"Of course Yama-chan, why do you ask?"
That act again. ‘I’m fine, nothing wrong with me.’ Ryosuke finds himself frowning and points at the magazine Keito is holding. A victim of his anger and frustration, the paper is crumpled and crushed by his hands.
Keito looks at it and smiles, uneasy. Nervous. The magazine falls to the floor and Keito gets up. He wants to flee, Ryosuke knows it. But he refuses to let him.
Before the older male can reach the door, Ryosuke’s hands reach for his wrist, his fingers enclosing around it. He pulls Keito back as the older of two looks at him with a mixed expression of surprise and curiosity.
Ryosuke looks at him. His eyes run over every inch of Keito’s face, trying to find the words he wants to speak. They’re on the tip of his tongue, but he has no idea how to convey them.
He wants to tell Keito how he’s been watching him, how he’s seen all the anger and frustration on Keito’s face. That he wants to hold him while the other bawls his eyes out, while he screams and curses at the world, how he wants to see every emotion aside from that fake smile and the tough act Keito’s been showing everyone for far too long now.
He realizes it would make him sound like a creeper, thus he decides to give Keito a chance of his own to allow Ryosuke to comfort him.
"Answer me truthfully, Okamoto Keito. Are you okay?"
Keito opens his mouth to speak, but Ryosuke is afraid of what might come. Another lie, another fake smile. His fingers tighten the grip around Keito’s wrist, his fingernails digging into his skin. Keito hisses at the pain, pulls back his wrist and looks at it, an expression of hurt finally showing on his face.
Ryosuke bites his lower lip, looks at the wrist he was holding and then breaks down.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, mentally, something snaps.
Keito is human, just as human as every other one around him. He feels pain, whether it’s on the skin or within his heart. While he shows his pained expression when he physically gets hurt, he refuses to show it whenever something mentally bothers him. Ryosuke can’t help but be overwhelmed by an intense sadness registering that.
The fact that Ryosuke has to hurt him to see an honest expression is too much. Hurts too much. Before he knows it, there are tears streaming down his face. His body shakes and with his sleeve he attempts to clear the mess on his face.
He hears Keito asking whether something is wrong and his fingers curl into a ball. His knuckles nearly turn white as he tries to suppress himself.
"You don't get it, do you?"
Keito looks genuinely puzzled, asks what there is to get and Ryosuke’s breath hitches. His body shivers at the touch of Keito’s hand brushing his hair away and he searches for air and words.
When he finally finds both, his voice is still shaking and his body is still furiously trembling at the suppressed emotions.
"How incredible you are. You don't see it Keito, you don't see what I see in you and it hurts Keito, it hurts so much. You're so special, so fucking wonderful but you don't see it."
He mentally scolds himself, saying it’s not the time for him to cry, but he can’t help himself. It only gets worse when Keito practically begs him not to cry. He doesn’t voice it, but Ryosuke can almost hear the ‘don’t cry for me, I’m not worth it’ echoing through the room.
"How can I not?" Ryosuke asks him, "How can I not cry when I see how unhappy you are with this job and especially with yourself? Why do you wanna change yourself Keito?"
There is no answer and Ryosuke knows there won’t be an answer either. So he continues talking. With husky breaths, a shaking voice and a shivering body he manages to stutter out all the greatness that is Keito to him. And not only to him. He gestures to everything in the dressing room. He knows for a fact the rest of JUMP agrees with him.
He sees that he’s not the only one crying anymore when he finishes his speech. With his hand he gently wipes away Keito’s tears.
"So, why would you want to change yourself then?" he asks softly.
Keito sniffles and then finally allows himself to be hugged by Ryosuke. He wraps his strong arms around Ryosuke’s waist and pulls the younger one closer.
Ryosuke allows Keito to bury his face in his neck as he sobs an excuse.
“I swear, I'm going to make sure you see what I see, what we all see in you. I promise," Ryosuke says, and he means every word.
He hears Keito sniffle and feels him nod. Ryosuke breaks the hug and traces with his thumbs over Keito’s face, wiping away the salty tears on his face.
Ryosuke can feel his own lips curling upwards when he sees Keito look at him, a watery but finally genuine smile, ghosting on his lips.
‘I promise, it will all be alright, Keito.’
Rating: PG-13
Group/Pairing: Hey!Say!JUMP/OkaYama
Warnings: None.
Notes: I have always admired hotfruits for her writing style, so naturally when I got assigned to her I got extremely excited and a little nervous. I picked this drabble because OkaYama is one of my guilty pleasures and because I wanted to portray Yamada’s line of thoughts as he was helping Keito... In a way, his reasons to do so.
I want to thank my lovely beta J. for helping me out on such a sort notice and hotfruits for writing this fic in the first place.
Link to Original Story: Confidence
Link to Original Writer: hotfruits
He noticed it. And honestly, how could he not? How he looked down whenever they passed Juniors who had been in the Jimusho longer than him, how he looked like he wanted to disappear when he was once again ignored during an interview and the wry smile he produced at the mention of his father.
Ryosuke saw it all, how Keito endured everything on his own.
All Ryosuke wanted, basically, was to run up to him, envelop in him a hug and never let go. But instead the younger one watched from afar how Keito broke down, time after time.
Today was one of those days. Practice hadn’t gone too well for the oldest 7 member, and Ryosuke had seen the anger, sadness and disappointment on his face.
He had seen how Keito scolded himself every time he made the wrong move, how he endured it even when Kouta had lost his patience and told him how it should have been done. He had watched it, from a safe distance, like he always did, but he hadn’t done anything.
He bit on his lip, cursed himself for being such a coward, for not finding the courage to walk up to him and ask him that simple question.
“Keito, are you okay?”
He startled himself. He had thought out loud. At least there was no backing out of it now.
Keito looks back at him, giving him a well rehearsed smile. Ryosuke’s heart aches at the smile. He wants to grab Keito by the shoulders and shake him, tell him he doesn’t have to smile when he’s not happy. Instead he stays in his place, at the other side of the room.
"Of course Yama-chan, why do you ask?"
That act again. ‘I’m fine, nothing wrong with me.’ Ryosuke finds himself frowning and points at the magazine Keito is holding. A victim of his anger and frustration, the paper is crumpled and crushed by his hands.
Keito looks at it and smiles, uneasy. Nervous. The magazine falls to the floor and Keito gets up. He wants to flee, Ryosuke knows it. But he refuses to let him.
Before the older male can reach the door, Ryosuke’s hands reach for his wrist, his fingers enclosing around it. He pulls Keito back as the older of two looks at him with a mixed expression of surprise and curiosity.
Ryosuke looks at him. His eyes run over every inch of Keito’s face, trying to find the words he wants to speak. They’re on the tip of his tongue, but he has no idea how to convey them.
He wants to tell Keito how he’s been watching him, how he’s seen all the anger and frustration on Keito’s face. That he wants to hold him while the other bawls his eyes out, while he screams and curses at the world, how he wants to see every emotion aside from that fake smile and the tough act Keito’s been showing everyone for far too long now.
He realizes it would make him sound like a creeper, thus he decides to give Keito a chance of his own to allow Ryosuke to comfort him.
"Answer me truthfully, Okamoto Keito. Are you okay?"
Keito opens his mouth to speak, but Ryosuke is afraid of what might come. Another lie, another fake smile. His fingers tighten the grip around Keito’s wrist, his fingernails digging into his skin. Keito hisses at the pain, pulls back his wrist and looks at it, an expression of hurt finally showing on his face.
Ryosuke bites his lower lip, looks at the wrist he was holding and then breaks down.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, mentally, something snaps.
Keito is human, just as human as every other one around him. He feels pain, whether it’s on the skin or within his heart. While he shows his pained expression when he physically gets hurt, he refuses to show it whenever something mentally bothers him. Ryosuke can’t help but be overwhelmed by an intense sadness registering that.
The fact that Ryosuke has to hurt him to see an honest expression is too much. Hurts too much. Before he knows it, there are tears streaming down his face. His body shakes and with his sleeve he attempts to clear the mess on his face.
He hears Keito asking whether something is wrong and his fingers curl into a ball. His knuckles nearly turn white as he tries to suppress himself.
"You don't get it, do you?"
Keito looks genuinely puzzled, asks what there is to get and Ryosuke’s breath hitches. His body shivers at the touch of Keito’s hand brushing his hair away and he searches for air and words.
When he finally finds both, his voice is still shaking and his body is still furiously trembling at the suppressed emotions.
"How incredible you are. You don't see it Keito, you don't see what I see in you and it hurts Keito, it hurts so much. You're so special, so fucking wonderful but you don't see it."
He mentally scolds himself, saying it’s not the time for him to cry, but he can’t help himself. It only gets worse when Keito practically begs him not to cry. He doesn’t voice it, but Ryosuke can almost hear the ‘don’t cry for me, I’m not worth it’ echoing through the room.
"How can I not?" Ryosuke asks him, "How can I not cry when I see how unhappy you are with this job and especially with yourself? Why do you wanna change yourself Keito?"
There is no answer and Ryosuke knows there won’t be an answer either. So he continues talking. With husky breaths, a shaking voice and a shivering body he manages to stutter out all the greatness that is Keito to him. And not only to him. He gestures to everything in the dressing room. He knows for a fact the rest of JUMP agrees with him.
He sees that he’s not the only one crying anymore when he finishes his speech. With his hand he gently wipes away Keito’s tears.
"So, why would you want to change yourself then?" he asks softly.
Keito sniffles and then finally allows himself to be hugged by Ryosuke. He wraps his strong arms around Ryosuke’s waist and pulls the younger one closer.
Ryosuke allows Keito to bury his face in his neck as he sobs an excuse.
“I swear, I'm going to make sure you see what I see, what we all see in you. I promise," Ryosuke says, and he means every word.
He hears Keito sniffle and feels him nod. Ryosuke breaks the hug and traces with his thumbs over Keito’s face, wiping away the salty tears on his face.
Ryosuke can feel his own lips curling upwards when he sees Keito look at him, a watery but finally genuine smile, ghosting on his lips.
‘I promise, it will all be alright, Keito.’