Remix for impynymph
Title: Two by Eight
Rating: R for glossed over sex
Group/Pairing: Nishikido Ryo/Yasuda Shota
Warnings: Inconsistent time-forwarding…maybe.
Notes: This is my first time writing Kanjani8-centric anything, so I really hope I did it well and will live up to your expectations, impynymph! To my betas for dealing with freakout after freakout, thank you so much; I wouldn’t have been able to do this without the both of you! ♥
Link to Original Story: Comfort
Link to Original Writer: impynymph at akanyanen
The formation of Kanjani8 was special.
Kanjani8 is special, this Yasu knew very well. They are his family away from home, a group of pure characters, some of them having nothing in common with another, yet there they are -- some of them for more than five years already. It’s truly special, what they have - Yasu can’t imagine him sharing this with anyone outside of these seven with him right now.
Yasu cries as he is wont to do; he buries his face into Hina's shoulder, regardless of the other man's right hand coming down hard on his head. Knowing that the gesture is meant with love and affection just makes Yasu cry harder, though, trying to smother his choked sobs and tears in the fabric of Hina's shirt. This only causes Hina to laugh and shove him away, complaining about his shirt being drenched, but Yasu doesn't care and knows that Hina doesn’t mean it, either. He turns away from the group, trying to control himself because he knew this would happen; he knew it would be their turn soon, it was only a matter of time -- all the we're going to debut soon's turning into we have to debut next and now, finally -- we are debuting. All their hard work, the practicing, magazine shoots, everything -- it would finally pay off.
Amidst the chatter from the group and Uchi's admonishment that if Yasu doesn't stop, Uchi'll cry too, Yasu laughs. He breathes in deep, willing the tears to stop but a few stray ones continue their way down his cheeks; he wipes them away with his sleeve. He blinks his eyes open and catches Ryo's gaze; he can feel the disbelief being replaced by happiness and joy and relief, relief in sweeping waves.
They're not being left behind now.
His feet carries him of their own accord, tossing arms around Ryo's shoulders, holding onto him in a hug with fresh tears soaking Ryo's t-shirt. Ryo doesn't say anything, but that's okay; Yasu knows by now that Ryo isn't really good with the whole 'emotions' kind of thing.
The hug is more for Yasu, anyway, as a tangible way to really, truly believe that Ryo is going to be there with them, when Kanjani8 finally debuts.
Even despite the onslaught of hectic schedules and millions upon millions of lights flashing in his eyes as they talk to cameras, reporters, tape recorders, the world, Yasu takes his time and lets it all wash over him. He doesn't feel any different; he hasn't gotten any taller, he hasn't magically gained a six pack overnight, and it's not like he's suddenly some sophisticated, suave being. Around him, everyone's smiling and laughing and so happy.
He is, too, but he thought he'd feel a little more something, something with more pomp and elation. Instead, the only emotion he keeps coming up with is relief.
Technically speaking, a proper debut isn't all that different than what they've actually been doing up to now -- the only thing that changes is now, they get a CD. They still have their monthly photoshoots and their guest appearances on TV shows and, especially for them, all the traveling back and forth between Osaka and Tokyo. What really changes the entire dynamic is now, they get a CD. A CD with a song or two and a jacket shot in, quite literally, an hour.
It's everything they've been waiting for, but it's all such a blur that Yasu finds he has no time to sit down and properly process it, let it properly sink in.
He winds up awake all night, staring at the ceiling of his room, thoughts swirling around in his head. He wonders how their fans are going to react to an enka song. He wonders how their dynamics are going to change now, when two of their members have an entire other group to tend to in between their own activities. He worries about Subaru's tattoo and what they can do to cover it up, seeing as leaving it out for the world to see is definitely not going to be a favorable option in the Jimusho's eyes. He wonders how everyone else is taking the past few days in.
Yasu gets roughly four hours of sleep that night; it's not something he isn't used to, but it's made worse when he looks at the schedule for the day, packed into one text message.
"You okay?" Ryo asks from across the aisle. They're on the train back to Tokyo for some promotional activities already and Yasu has his head propped up against the back of his seat, watching the scenery pass in front of his eyes. Ohkura's sitting next to him, already snoring peacefully into a few tendrils of his hair, fallen onto his shoulder.
He doesn't really turn to look at Ryo when he replies. "Yeah. Just tired, I guess." He pauses and smiles a bit at that. "Sorry, that's probably unfair. You and Uchi are busier than the rest of us."
"That doesn't mean anything," Ryo says. "It just means that we shouldn't be tired since we've already gone through this once."
Yasu doesn't say anything, content with letting the peace and relative quiet above the humming of the train settle over him. There's not much else to say, anyway, that he hasn't told Ryo or Uchi yet. And, out of everyone, he expects Ryo to understand the silence as comforting rather than awkward. His head falls to the side, settling against the window; Ohkura's reflection in the glass blinks at him, slowly, and holds Yasu's gaze for a second before he sighs, shifts his head a little, and goes back to sleep.
In a few hours, Ohkura will be lamenting his awful position as taiko drum master, and Yasu takes care to not disturb the youngest one again with the knowledge of that coming up.
In the coming months, the group grows and adapts, bit by bit, piece by piece. They get careful instructions on what is allowed in television conversation and what isn't; adlibbing is fine, but not about the breast size of other agency members' mothers. There is to be no talk about going out during the night unless it's to the zoo or Disney or something else equally as wholesome. Video games are okay. Food is okay. Amusing failures during group outings are okay. It's all very standard, at least in this point in their lives.
Yasu spends most of his days doing his usual -- he wordlessly tries to keep the dressing room as neat as possible without infringing too much on everyone else's stuff, and he tries to make sure that Ryo and Uchi are, at the very least, eating right. He ignores Ohkura's whines about needing to be properly fed, too, and simply pats him on the shoulder (Ohkura's head is too far up for his arm to reach). Ryo and Uchi are already being told to hurry by their manager, and within five minutes they're out the door, a taxi cab waiting to whisk them away to the Shin-Osaka station. NEWS is waiting for them, after all.
Which, frankly, goes against everything Yasu has been hoping for. He assumed he would be able to spend more time with Ryo and Uchi once they debuted as Kanjani8, but if anything, he's seen them even less.
"I think it's just for now," Ohkura says, stabbing at a piece of takoyaki as he, Yasu and Subaru walk through the zoo together on their newly appreciated day off. Yasu chews thoughtfully, narrowly avoiding a kid's balloon floating by, but it sticks to Subaru’s hat, probably because of static. Ohkura makes a noise Yasu can only associate with takoyaki pleasure while Yasu helps Subaru peel the balloon off his head. "But I'm glad it's not me."
"Hmmm," is all Yasu says. He's still not quite sure how to feel about the whole 'being in two groups' thing, but at the end of the day it's not his responsibility to think about it -- and what he does think probably would matter very little at hand. Plus, it gives him headaches if he thinks about it for a prolonged period of time. He looks at Subaru, who only shrugs and shoves two takoyaki into his mouth before Ohkura can see. Yasu giggles.
Ohkura stops short. "Yasu, you like Ryo-chan, don't you?"
Yasu nearly chokes on nothing and he turns away from Subaru’s takoyaki stealing habit to stare at Ohkura incredulously. "Eh?"
Ohkura holds his toothpick to his lips, staring at Yasu like he's a fascinating five-foot piece of yakitori (just without the smile of pure glee). "You don't? Oh..."
"Why do you sound so disappointed?" Yasu mumbles, shaking his head.
"I just thought you did...have I been reading you wrong?" Ohkura ponders, snatching the small carton of takoyaki away from Subaru, glaring at him in the process.
"I mean," Yasu stops and wonders, too. "I never thought I didn't like him, if that's what you're asking."
And this is the truth. In fact, Yasu would probably go so far as to say that he loves them all, really, and would gladly say so if Ohkura pushed. Nevermind that in his mind, he's very certain that Ohkura is speaking of some other type of 'like', but jumping the gun and denying it outright would look suspicious, he thinks, so he settles for being his own type of oblivious.
"Hmmm..." Ohkura mumbles, mouthful of takoyaki be damned. "Maybe it's the other way around..."
And Yasu happily pretends he doesn't hear anything, grabbing a perplexed looking Subaru and scampering off towards the penguin exhibit before Ohkura can continue.
He wonders about Ohkura’s claim, though, after they’re done at the zoo and he and Subaru are walking home together. He’s not sure what to make of it, really - it seems pretty ludicrous, and he thinks Ohkura’s probably just thinking too much about one thing that may have happened. It’s not wrong to openly express how much he appreciates the other members, right?
He voices his thoughts to Subaru as they walk, jostling each other every so often as they take their time. “You don’t mind if I hug you or anything, right?” Yasu asks, genuinely curious. He doesn’t think it’s wrong, but doesn’t want to be too touchy-feely with people who aren’t okay with it.
Subaru shakes his head. “No, I don’t mind. I don’t think any of us minds…it’s who you are.” He nudges Yasu’s side. “If any part of you were missing, you wouldn’t feel like you.”
Yasu tries hard not to let the words make a big impact, but he smiles, momentarily touched by the sentiment. He easily falls into step next to Subaru, letting their hands brush together every so often. “I’ll be hugging you more often, then.”
Subaru grins. “Only if I can grab your ass in return.”
The absolute worst thing about someone pointing something out to you, though, is that the idea sticks and suddenly, it's all you can think about. At least for Yasu, the only thing even remotely disconcerting about it is that it distracts him from work sometimes.
He doesn't go out of his way to avoid Ryo or anything; they're not ten years old, they're adults, and given that he has to work with the other man, it would just put a strain on everyone around them, especially when their bandmates are some of the nosiest people in the history of the world. And, well, Yasu genuinely does like Ryo and doesn't think this little mix-up should get in the way of them spending their time together, especially when it's so limited already.
Besides, Ryo doesn't seem any different when they're goofing around, helping each out in their video game endeavors. Or when they're learning how to play the new guitar parts, transposed to fit Subaru's vocal key better. Or when they're going over choreography and Yasu is helping Ryo as much as he can, since he has twice the amount of choreo to memorize. It's kind of impossible to pick up on subtle, "I'm totally in like with you!" vibes when leaning or tripping over each other is the norm in those kinds of situations.
In general, though, Yasu feels like an idiot for entertaining the idea because -- because.
It's Ryo.
Yasu watches Ryo from the mirror of the dressing room as they're all packing up to go home. He's not doing it for any reason, just out of habit now, and thankfully Ryo never stays longer than he has to once they're done or else Yasu's sure he would have been caught already. And Ryo leaves within the next few minutes, shouting a random parting at them as he walks out.
"Oi, Yasuda!” Yoko bleats into his ear. Yasu jumps in his seat and Yoko laughs at him. “Let’s go get ramen!” the oldest of them all says, patting his head. Yasu peers up at him and agrees; he doesn’t have much else to do, and somewhere in the background, Maru's yammering on about a ramen place that he goes to all the time.
Except once he’s at the ramen place, he realizes that he should have known the jig was up because Yoko is not anything if not perceptive in regards to his members’ lives, but also won’t hesitate to ask about it. In public. Making as big a fanfare he can.
Yasu has a rather impressive mouthful of noodles in his mouth when Yoko asks if he’s developed a fancy for his tiny counterpart, and the splash of noodles going back into soup as he coughs is rather wide. Yoko, of course, is laughing in glee, doubled over and pointing at Yasu like he’s wearing cheese on his head, and Maru just wordlessly hands Yasu a napkin and pats his back reassuringly.
"What," Yasu breathes, clearing his windpipe. "What are you talking about?"
Yoko manages to stop laughing -- barely -- and shrugs like he knows the secrets to life in itself but doesn't want to share. "Oh, nothing."
Yasu just stares at him.
"Yoko..." Maru interjects. Yasu leans against the other's side, silently thanking him for the subtle show of support.
"Fine, fine." Yoko straightens. "It's nothing, I just noticed that you've been staring at Dokkun more often than usual." The eldest member of the group cracks his knuckles and sets his hands in front of him, looking very much like a diabolical mastermind -- which isn't that different from his regular look, Yasu suspects.
"So," Yoko continues, not letting up. "I have come up with a plan."
"...a plan." Yasu says, tilting to his side in a vague expression of confusion.
Yoko nods. "A plan. The 'Get Dokkun to Return Your Feelings' plan!" He claps at his own ingenuity.
Yasu is mildly horrified, although the feeling ebbs a little when Yoko starts to ramble on about the plan's details, which is to, basically, grope Ryo's ass whenever he gets a chance to. "Dokkun plays hard to get," Yoko crows, draped across Maru's back as they're leaving the bar they hit up after ramen. "You'll need to be direct, Yasuda!"
The plan isn't awful, but in some sort of weird twist of fate, it is never put into motion. When Yasu sees Ryo next, his eyes are distant, full of disbelief and shock, and Uchi isn't with him.
Uchi isn't with them.
He doesn't think about what happened, merely lets Ryo fall onto his side, half wrapped up in Subaru, and pats his shoulder. Ryo mumbles something into his neck. Yasu shakes his head, lifting it upwards to stare at the fluorescent lights overhead -- he can't cry if he can't tell what it is that's stinging his eyes, the light or the burning of tears already forming. Someone reassures them -- probably Hina, or maybe Maru -- but Yasu wonders if it really will be okay. He wants to think so but in the back of his mind, he's a little scared that he may have used all his good karma on just getting their group to debut and now -- now, when they really, really need it, there's none left.
No, Yasu's not even sure if a karma system works when in the entertainment industry.
Weeks later, Yasu and Ryo are working on a new song of sorts; they can't quite figure out the best way to rearrange a section in particular, but nothing seems to fit right, anyway, no matter what they try and how to tweak. Yasu watches Ryo carefully; he's quiet, a lot more subdued, a kind of wary that has nothing to do with hectic schedules and countless nights of limited sleep. Yasu feels bad, even though he knows as well as anybody that there's nothing to be sad about because, well, things just were, but Yasu knew Ryo would warm up to the other members of NEWS eventually, once he stopped being shy and weird and just decided to be himself. Now that NEWS was on hiatus, Yasu has a feeling Ryo...maybe missed them. Even if he would never be caught dead entertaining the idea in public.
He remembers telling Ryo that they would grow on him, if not to be good friends, but at least people he could tolerate and work with. It wasn't like Ryo had much of a choice in the matter, after all, and a lot of their lives were spent grinning and just bearing whatever it was that flitted their way. Like when they were barely fed whenever they had jobs in Tokyo as juniors. Or this, NEWS' hiatus.
Or Uchi being suspended.
Let it never be said that idols had it easy, Yasu's mind wanders. Nothing is ever easy whenever real human emotions are concerned.
"Keep playing," Ryo's voice drifts into his thoughts. Yasu blinks and looks up at the other man, even though Ryo stays still laid out on the couch. He merely nods, adjusting his position a little bit.
"Sure," Yasu replies quietly, fingers working themselves into the proper chord. He starts playing through the section, and when he's done, he strings random notes together, drawing them out, clipping them short. For some reason, he's in a staccato mood, clamping down on the sounds as soon as they emerge -- no, smooth legato notes felt out of place tonight. He plays a little with the notes, upping the tempo a little bit, trying to mimic the frantic pace at which his mind is ordering notes to be played. The sound echoes around him; he stares at the neck of his guitar, zoning out as his fingers take over purely on instinct.
He puts his guitar down when he feels nothing else coming to him and yawns. He glances at Ryo and isn't all too surprised to find the other sleeping, but he's sure the others are going to be invading their peace and quiet soon, and they do have an actual recording session to get through. He yawns again and gets up, crossing the short distance to the couch Ryo is sleeping on and reaches down, gently shaking the other awake.
"Come on," Yasu says gently. "We've got work to do."
They visit Uchi and drag him around because it’s not good for anyone to be stuck inside moping, Yasu thinks, especially Uchi. He asks Ryo to come along because he’s more than sure that he misses Uchi, too, but doesn’t want to embarrass himself by actually admitting this, so Yasu plays friend-matchmaker and invites them out. (Ohkura gives him a funny look when he explains this thought process, but he blames it on the questionable yogurt they found in Ohkura's fridge earlier that day, which Ohkura ate anyway.)
The day starts off with nabe, progresses into the mall, then they find themselves at the zoo, and they end up back at Uchi’s house, content on watching drama reruns and silly variety shows into the night. Yasu hadn’t meant to stay all that long, but Uchi’s mother had ushered them inside once they walked Uchi back home (“Like a girl,” Ryo whines on their way. Uchi flings one end of his scarf over his shoulder, not so coincidentally hitting Ryo in the face. Yasu just darts aside to escape the inevitable scuffle, laughing the whole way.) and has already set out snacks and drinks for them by the time they toed their shoes off in the genkan. Yasu figures it’s okay to relax for a little bit - they don’t need to be back in Tokyo until the afternoon the next day, anyway.
Yasu’s the only one awake a few hours later, having always been a late sleeper. Uchi is drooling onto a pillow, spread out on the floor next to him, and Ryo probably fell asleep as soon as he laid claim on the couch. Yasu leans back a little, back against the edge of the couch, relaxing into it as he munches on some senbei. He turns down the volume of the TV a little, just so it’s a dull static in the otherwise quiet room. There’s a sudden whoosh of air moving by his ear as Ryo’s hand limply tumbles from the couch to hang off the edge; Yasu can feel the other’s fingers twitching right by his ear and even though they’re not touching, the hairs closest to Ryo’s fingers tingle a little bit, pleasantly inching its way up his neck, swirling around his head before settling on his cheeks.
It’s a little weird, but not in a bad way. It confuses Yasu a little because he has no idea when his body began to react in this way to being in close proximity to Ryo, but he doesn’t mind. It’s gentle, safe, welcome - soothing. It’s…nice.
When morning breaks, Yasu’s softly prodded awake by Uchi. He blinks up at him, wondering when he fell asleep and why Uchi has such a knowing look on his face. He rubs at his eyes as Uchi reaches over Yasu’s head to smack Ryo on the leg to wake him up. They laugh as Ryo half-asses a throw of a pillow at Uchi’s head and the impending pillow fight doesn’t happen as Uchi’s mother comes into the room and tells them that breakfast is ready. They immediately get up and file into the kitchen, Uchi still looking far too amused for his own good, Yasu blinking his eyes in the sunlight, and Ryo looking like he would fall asleep once he sat down in his chair at the dining table.
They have to leave shortly after that to catch the train back to Tokyo. Uchi’s mother hugs them all and gives them kisses on the cheek, thanks them for coming to see her Hiroki; Uchi blushes and shoos his mom away. Yasu gives him a hug and a pat on the arm, anyway. It’s good to see Uchi looking a lot like himself.
The train ride back is quiet but comfortable. Ryo looks happier than he has been in weeks. Yasu nudges his leg to get his attention, but once Ryo turns his eyes at him, he doesn’t really know what to say. He shrugs and smiles instead, a little sheepishly, but Ryo smiles a little in return anyway.
Yasu watches from backstage as Ryo is on stage, the only one out of them all, guitar in hand, looking like he’s ready to conquer the world. The lights are dimmed, bathing everyone in warm tones. They clash and converge on Ryo, standing in the middle of the stage. He’s making idle chit-chat with the audience, embarrassment written on his face at being the only one up there, but when he starts playing, his face is serious. Not drawn tight, no furrowed brows, but open, calm, almost serene. The song is one Ryo’s been working on for awhile, one that Yasu helped with a little, but he had no idea it was already done. It’s a good, strong song…it’s really good. It’s amazing, actually.
Yasu watches Ryo move and play and sing, dressed in a simple t-shirt and the same pants from their previous costume, but he looks like a star. No, he looks beautiful as he’s singing, like the only thing important in the world is his need and desire, being poured out to the microphone on its stand. Completely and utterly breathtaking, like the man was born from a paradise lost, here to awe audiences and make people see stars.
Yasu watches and somewhere in his heart, he suspects that maybe Ohkura was right, all that time ago.
It’s times like this when Yasu wonders how people live their entire lives not knowing how it feels to be on stage. There doesn’t have to be fifty-five thousand people around them, there doesn’t need to be elaborate stage set-ups or crazy pyrotechnics - all there needs to be is a willing performer and a willing listener, and the rest is like magic. Yasu runs around with his mic in his hand, sweaty and euphoric. He sees Ryo up ahead, waving at the crowd to their left, and he reaches out, wraps an arm around him as he comes up to his side, leaning onto him fully.
“Uchi’s here,” Ryo says, careful to keep the mic away from his face.
Yasu looks around, and Ryo swings them so they’re facing the right direction. He doesn’t see Uchi - they’re kind of far away and there’s too many lights in his eyes - but he breaks out into a wide grin, hopping around and swinging them back the other way, to avoid Uchi catching on. “You’re going to pull him up, right?” Yasu asks, leaning up as close as he can to Ryo’s ear to try and be heard.
Ryo grins, eyes darting back to the section where Uchi is, presumably, sitting, but before he can respond, it’s his part again. Yasu brings his own mic up to Ryo’s lips and as Ryo sings into it, the girls in the section closest to them are screaming, probably in approval. Yasu beams.
“In a little bit,” Ryo answers when Yasu’s mic is far enough to not pick up any sound.
Yasu doesn’t say anything in response, just presses a kiss to Ryo’s cheek. He pulls away, smiles, waves at the girls around them and then dashes off, waving the entire way.
He’s not sure why he does it. It just…feels right.
He and the others shove Ryo off stage a couple of songs later, towards the end, and he watches as the crowd is confused and Uchi looks more and more apprehensive until Ryo is right there, grabbing at Uchi’s hand. They exchange some words and then Ryo’s running back to the stage, Uchi in tow, and Yasu would cry if he wasn’t smiling so big. The dome explodes in a mass of hysterical cheers and cries; Yasu takes Uchi’s hand once he throws on Ryo’s tour shirt and begins to parade him around the arena, with Maru and Yoko trying their best to smother Uchi with affection of every kind as they go.
A few rounds later and Subaru has his face buried in Uchi’s shoulder. They end the concert on a high note and after two encores, they all file backstage and collapse and tumble into the dressing room. Yasu’s stretching, breathing in deep. He feels his nerves slow down, his entire body gradually falling from the high as he wipes his face with a towel - all that’s leftover is the pleasant buzzing of leftover adrenaline humming through his veins.
When Ryo kisses him, though, his heart pounds like he had just finished another run-through of the concert.
“I like you, okay.”
Yasu smiles and suddenly realizes that hearing those words…it was like the one thing he’s been waiting to hear, but he had no clue he was waiting for it to begin with. And now that he finally heard it, he doesn’t feel so inclined to let it slip through his fingers.
“I guessed as much,” Yasu says softly, leaning up and kissing Ryo, responding in kind. It’s slow, and soft, a gentle press, a hair’s breadth from being exploratory but not quite the quick kiss Ryo surprised him with a moment ago.
Uchi’s voice breaks them apart. “It’s about time. God, you’re so slow, Ryo-chan.”
Yasu looks at Uchi questioningly, a little surprised at hearing it so point blank, but after he looks at Ryo - who looks like he wants to dig his own hole to disappear into since chances are, one won’t magically appear for him right then - Yasu smiles a little.
“He’s had a thing for you for years,” Uchi added.
“Uchi!” Ryo explodes and Yasu takes care to not laugh outright, but he can’t help the grin on his lips. Yoko joins in on the Ryo teasing, and Yasu takes pity on him, reaching out to take Ryo’s hand. He laces their fingers together, squeezing a little, even as he finally lets out a chuckle of his own, and another one when Ryo declares that he hates them all.
“You’ve been happier lately,” Subaru comments.
Yasu looks up once he’s done penciling in a new measure of music and smiles sheepishly, not sure how to respond. “I guess I am,” he says after a few moments, upon realizing that it’s the truth - he has been happier. Perhaps for obvious reasons, but it’s not an unwelcome change at all.
“Things are going well, then?” Subaru asks, strumming a few notes on the guitar in his hand.
“Yeah! Yeah, I think they are.” Yasu pauses, tucking his legs underneath him on the couch. He scribbles down the next few lines of lyrics from his notepad, then tries to piece together a harmony line for it, replaying voices in his head. He gets the burning sensation of eyes on him, though, and he looks up again to meet Subaru’s gaze straight on. “What is it?” he asks.
Subaru merely shrugs and, to Yasu’s surprise, laughs. “I just never pegged that out of all of us, you’d pick Ryo. You usually pick me whenever we’re asked which member we’d like to date!” Subaru mockingly sighs.
“It’s not like I really picked him…it just happened. And we’re not even dating.” Yasu puts his pencil down and flops back onto the couch.
“Then what are you?”
“…we’re just a thing. I mean…does it really need a label?” Yasu thinks out loud. He bites at a fingernail for a second, thinking about the question. It’s not like he could automatically tell what Ryo was thinking now - it didn’t ever work like that. He doesn’t want to read too much into it - actually, Yasu thinks, if they could at least stay on the same page for now, then he should dedicate his effort to doing just that. If Ryo wanted to give it a name, they could…but it didn’t seem all that important, in the grand scheme of things, and he is perfectly okay with that.
He looks back up at Subaru and grins. “You can take his place when he’s off being NEWS, if you’d like.”
“What is that?!” Subaru exclaims, although his laughter makes it seem a lot less angry than it sounds. “I should let him know that he’s going to be taking my place. I was here first!”
Yasu doesn’t reply - he’s laughing too much to do so, really, and he doesn’t stop when Subaru deadpans something about how Yasu’s a liar, telling the world in magazines and on TV that he’d date Subaru.
“The nerve!” Subaru crows, and Yasu cracks up all over again.
Work and this new thing with Ryo leaves him busy, even though they co-exist side-by-side comfortably. It’s fun for Yasu to try and figure out the other things that’ll get Ryo riled up, what his favorite foods are (or more importantly, what his least favorite foods are), the small eccentricities the other man has that he wouldn’t be privy to otherwise. Yasu takes his time and lets the knowledge sink into his mind, imprints the way Ryo’s voice drops an octave when he’s panting against Yasu’s neck into his mind. He burns the look Ryo gives him when he’s sucking him into his memory, wants to memorize the noises Ryo makes low in his throat as Yasu takes him in hand…how Ryo’s fingers feel brushing through his hair, gently urging him on…how they seem to fit together like puzzle pieces, with all their jagged edges and smooth planes…
How Yasu feels a dreamy warmth when he wakes up and realizes he’s cuddled up against Ryo’s side - he doesn’t want to forget it.
After a brief morning scuffle in which Ryo glues himself to his pillow and Yasu drags the sheets off of him in an effort to get him up and out of bed, they wind up at the closest beach, enjoying their time together before they have to go back to work. They wander the dock, drinking in the sounds of the sea and the lapping of the waves, Yasu swinging their joined hands in between them, looking and feeling vaguely like schoolchildren in their first clumsy romance, but Yasu feels that it doesn’t feel so far off the mark
“Yasu, um…last night…” Ryo starts.
He turns and smiles at him. “Let’s see where this goes?”
“Yeah,” Ryo says, letting the tension drain from his body, relaxing fully. Yasu squeezes his hand and does the one thing he’s been wanting to since they got to the beach.
He shoves Ryo into the water.
He laughs, hard and doubled over, and once Ryo’s head pops up from the surface of the water, he’s shouting death threats at him that only falls on deaf ears because Yasu knows Ryo wouldn’t ever carry them out - and besides, Ryo’s enjoying it as much as he is. He giggles, then jogs to meet Ryo on the sand. He’s completely drenched, water seeping from his clothes and soaking into the sand surrounding them, hair plastered to his forehead and looking sullen - Yasu smiles sheepishly at him. Ryo looks displeased, but Yasu wants to remember this, too, forever.
“You’re evil.” Ryo whines.
Yasu chuckles and smiles. “Let’s go back…the others are waiting.”
As they walk - or slosh, in Ryo’s case - Ryo bumps his shoulder, thanks him for being there. And even though Ryo looks like a swamp monster, Yasu grins and slips his hand into Ryo’s anyway. His palm is warm pressed against his own - it makes Yasu feel light and giddy, but he thinks he’s more than okay with it.
Rating: R for glossed over sex
Group/Pairing: Nishikido Ryo/Yasuda Shota
Warnings: Inconsistent time-forwarding…maybe.
Notes: This is my first time writing Kanjani8-centric anything, so I really hope I did it well and will live up to your expectations, impynymph! To my betas for dealing with freakout after freakout, thank you so much; I wouldn’t have been able to do this without the both of you! ♥
Link to Original Story: Comfort
Link to Original Writer: impynymph at akanyanen
The formation of Kanjani8 was special.
Kanjani8 is special, this Yasu knew very well. They are his family away from home, a group of pure characters, some of them having nothing in common with another, yet there they are -- some of them for more than five years already. It’s truly special, what they have - Yasu can’t imagine him sharing this with anyone outside of these seven with him right now.
Yasu cries as he is wont to do; he buries his face into Hina's shoulder, regardless of the other man's right hand coming down hard on his head. Knowing that the gesture is meant with love and affection just makes Yasu cry harder, though, trying to smother his choked sobs and tears in the fabric of Hina's shirt. This only causes Hina to laugh and shove him away, complaining about his shirt being drenched, but Yasu doesn't care and knows that Hina doesn’t mean it, either. He turns away from the group, trying to control himself because he knew this would happen; he knew it would be their turn soon, it was only a matter of time -- all the we're going to debut soon's turning into we have to debut next and now, finally -- we are debuting. All their hard work, the practicing, magazine shoots, everything -- it would finally pay off.
Amidst the chatter from the group and Uchi's admonishment that if Yasu doesn't stop, Uchi'll cry too, Yasu laughs. He breathes in deep, willing the tears to stop but a few stray ones continue their way down his cheeks; he wipes them away with his sleeve. He blinks his eyes open and catches Ryo's gaze; he can feel the disbelief being replaced by happiness and joy and relief, relief in sweeping waves.
They're not being left behind now.
His feet carries him of their own accord, tossing arms around Ryo's shoulders, holding onto him in a hug with fresh tears soaking Ryo's t-shirt. Ryo doesn't say anything, but that's okay; Yasu knows by now that Ryo isn't really good with the whole 'emotions' kind of thing.
The hug is more for Yasu, anyway, as a tangible way to really, truly believe that Ryo is going to be there with them, when Kanjani8 finally debuts.
Even despite the onslaught of hectic schedules and millions upon millions of lights flashing in his eyes as they talk to cameras, reporters, tape recorders, the world, Yasu takes his time and lets it all wash over him. He doesn't feel any different; he hasn't gotten any taller, he hasn't magically gained a six pack overnight, and it's not like he's suddenly some sophisticated, suave being. Around him, everyone's smiling and laughing and so happy.
He is, too, but he thought he'd feel a little more something, something with more pomp and elation. Instead, the only emotion he keeps coming up with is relief.
Technically speaking, a proper debut isn't all that different than what they've actually been doing up to now -- the only thing that changes is now, they get a CD. They still have their monthly photoshoots and their guest appearances on TV shows and, especially for them, all the traveling back and forth between Osaka and Tokyo. What really changes the entire dynamic is now, they get a CD. A CD with a song or two and a jacket shot in, quite literally, an hour.
It's everything they've been waiting for, but it's all such a blur that Yasu finds he has no time to sit down and properly process it, let it properly sink in.
He winds up awake all night, staring at the ceiling of his room, thoughts swirling around in his head. He wonders how their fans are going to react to an enka song. He wonders how their dynamics are going to change now, when two of their members have an entire other group to tend to in between their own activities. He worries about Subaru's tattoo and what they can do to cover it up, seeing as leaving it out for the world to see is definitely not going to be a favorable option in the Jimusho's eyes. He wonders how everyone else is taking the past few days in.
Yasu gets roughly four hours of sleep that night; it's not something he isn't used to, but it's made worse when he looks at the schedule for the day, packed into one text message.
"You okay?" Ryo asks from across the aisle. They're on the train back to Tokyo for some promotional activities already and Yasu has his head propped up against the back of his seat, watching the scenery pass in front of his eyes. Ohkura's sitting next to him, already snoring peacefully into a few tendrils of his hair, fallen onto his shoulder.
He doesn't really turn to look at Ryo when he replies. "Yeah. Just tired, I guess." He pauses and smiles a bit at that. "Sorry, that's probably unfair. You and Uchi are busier than the rest of us."
"That doesn't mean anything," Ryo says. "It just means that we shouldn't be tired since we've already gone through this once."
Yasu doesn't say anything, content with letting the peace and relative quiet above the humming of the train settle over him. There's not much else to say, anyway, that he hasn't told Ryo or Uchi yet. And, out of everyone, he expects Ryo to understand the silence as comforting rather than awkward. His head falls to the side, settling against the window; Ohkura's reflection in the glass blinks at him, slowly, and holds Yasu's gaze for a second before he sighs, shifts his head a little, and goes back to sleep.
In a few hours, Ohkura will be lamenting his awful position as taiko drum master, and Yasu takes care to not disturb the youngest one again with the knowledge of that coming up.
In the coming months, the group grows and adapts, bit by bit, piece by piece. They get careful instructions on what is allowed in television conversation and what isn't; adlibbing is fine, but not about the breast size of other agency members' mothers. There is to be no talk about going out during the night unless it's to the zoo or Disney or something else equally as wholesome. Video games are okay. Food is okay. Amusing failures during group outings are okay. It's all very standard, at least in this point in their lives.
Yasu spends most of his days doing his usual -- he wordlessly tries to keep the dressing room as neat as possible without infringing too much on everyone else's stuff, and he tries to make sure that Ryo and Uchi are, at the very least, eating right. He ignores Ohkura's whines about needing to be properly fed, too, and simply pats him on the shoulder (Ohkura's head is too far up for his arm to reach). Ryo and Uchi are already being told to hurry by their manager, and within five minutes they're out the door, a taxi cab waiting to whisk them away to the Shin-Osaka station. NEWS is waiting for them, after all.
Which, frankly, goes against everything Yasu has been hoping for. He assumed he would be able to spend more time with Ryo and Uchi once they debuted as Kanjani8, but if anything, he's seen them even less.
"I think it's just for now," Ohkura says, stabbing at a piece of takoyaki as he, Yasu and Subaru walk through the zoo together on their newly appreciated day off. Yasu chews thoughtfully, narrowly avoiding a kid's balloon floating by, but it sticks to Subaru’s hat, probably because of static. Ohkura makes a noise Yasu can only associate with takoyaki pleasure while Yasu helps Subaru peel the balloon off his head. "But I'm glad it's not me."
"Hmmm," is all Yasu says. He's still not quite sure how to feel about the whole 'being in two groups' thing, but at the end of the day it's not his responsibility to think about it -- and what he does think probably would matter very little at hand. Plus, it gives him headaches if he thinks about it for a prolonged period of time. He looks at Subaru, who only shrugs and shoves two takoyaki into his mouth before Ohkura can see. Yasu giggles.
Ohkura stops short. "Yasu, you like Ryo-chan, don't you?"
Yasu nearly chokes on nothing and he turns away from Subaru’s takoyaki stealing habit to stare at Ohkura incredulously. "Eh?"
Ohkura holds his toothpick to his lips, staring at Yasu like he's a fascinating five-foot piece of yakitori (just without the smile of pure glee). "You don't? Oh..."
"Why do you sound so disappointed?" Yasu mumbles, shaking his head.
"I just thought you did...have I been reading you wrong?" Ohkura ponders, snatching the small carton of takoyaki away from Subaru, glaring at him in the process.
"I mean," Yasu stops and wonders, too. "I never thought I didn't like him, if that's what you're asking."
And this is the truth. In fact, Yasu would probably go so far as to say that he loves them all, really, and would gladly say so if Ohkura pushed. Nevermind that in his mind, he's very certain that Ohkura is speaking of some other type of 'like', but jumping the gun and denying it outright would look suspicious, he thinks, so he settles for being his own type of oblivious.
"Hmmm..." Ohkura mumbles, mouthful of takoyaki be damned. "Maybe it's the other way around..."
And Yasu happily pretends he doesn't hear anything, grabbing a perplexed looking Subaru and scampering off towards the penguin exhibit before Ohkura can continue.
He wonders about Ohkura’s claim, though, after they’re done at the zoo and he and Subaru are walking home together. He’s not sure what to make of it, really - it seems pretty ludicrous, and he thinks Ohkura’s probably just thinking too much about one thing that may have happened. It’s not wrong to openly express how much he appreciates the other members, right?
He voices his thoughts to Subaru as they walk, jostling each other every so often as they take their time. “You don’t mind if I hug you or anything, right?” Yasu asks, genuinely curious. He doesn’t think it’s wrong, but doesn’t want to be too touchy-feely with people who aren’t okay with it.
Subaru shakes his head. “No, I don’t mind. I don’t think any of us minds…it’s who you are.” He nudges Yasu’s side. “If any part of you were missing, you wouldn’t feel like you.”
Yasu tries hard not to let the words make a big impact, but he smiles, momentarily touched by the sentiment. He easily falls into step next to Subaru, letting their hands brush together every so often. “I’ll be hugging you more often, then.”
Subaru grins. “Only if I can grab your ass in return.”
The absolute worst thing about someone pointing something out to you, though, is that the idea sticks and suddenly, it's all you can think about. At least for Yasu, the only thing even remotely disconcerting about it is that it distracts him from work sometimes.
He doesn't go out of his way to avoid Ryo or anything; they're not ten years old, they're adults, and given that he has to work with the other man, it would just put a strain on everyone around them, especially when their bandmates are some of the nosiest people in the history of the world. And, well, Yasu genuinely does like Ryo and doesn't think this little mix-up should get in the way of them spending their time together, especially when it's so limited already.
Besides, Ryo doesn't seem any different when they're goofing around, helping each out in their video game endeavors. Or when they're learning how to play the new guitar parts, transposed to fit Subaru's vocal key better. Or when they're going over choreography and Yasu is helping Ryo as much as he can, since he has twice the amount of choreo to memorize. It's kind of impossible to pick up on subtle, "I'm totally in like with you!" vibes when leaning or tripping over each other is the norm in those kinds of situations.
In general, though, Yasu feels like an idiot for entertaining the idea because -- because.
It's Ryo.
Yasu watches Ryo from the mirror of the dressing room as they're all packing up to go home. He's not doing it for any reason, just out of habit now, and thankfully Ryo never stays longer than he has to once they're done or else Yasu's sure he would have been caught already. And Ryo leaves within the next few minutes, shouting a random parting at them as he walks out.
"Oi, Yasuda!” Yoko bleats into his ear. Yasu jumps in his seat and Yoko laughs at him. “Let’s go get ramen!” the oldest of them all says, patting his head. Yasu peers up at him and agrees; he doesn’t have much else to do, and somewhere in the background, Maru's yammering on about a ramen place that he goes to all the time.
Except once he’s at the ramen place, he realizes that he should have known the jig was up because Yoko is not anything if not perceptive in regards to his members’ lives, but also won’t hesitate to ask about it. In public. Making as big a fanfare he can.
Yasu has a rather impressive mouthful of noodles in his mouth when Yoko asks if he’s developed a fancy for his tiny counterpart, and the splash of noodles going back into soup as he coughs is rather wide. Yoko, of course, is laughing in glee, doubled over and pointing at Yasu like he’s wearing cheese on his head, and Maru just wordlessly hands Yasu a napkin and pats his back reassuringly.
"What," Yasu breathes, clearing his windpipe. "What are you talking about?"
Yoko manages to stop laughing -- barely -- and shrugs like he knows the secrets to life in itself but doesn't want to share. "Oh, nothing."
Yasu just stares at him.
"Yoko..." Maru interjects. Yasu leans against the other's side, silently thanking him for the subtle show of support.
"Fine, fine." Yoko straightens. "It's nothing, I just noticed that you've been staring at Dokkun more often than usual." The eldest member of the group cracks his knuckles and sets his hands in front of him, looking very much like a diabolical mastermind -- which isn't that different from his regular look, Yasu suspects.
"So," Yoko continues, not letting up. "I have come up with a plan."
"...a plan." Yasu says, tilting to his side in a vague expression of confusion.
Yoko nods. "A plan. The 'Get Dokkun to Return Your Feelings' plan!" He claps at his own ingenuity.
Yasu is mildly horrified, although the feeling ebbs a little when Yoko starts to ramble on about the plan's details, which is to, basically, grope Ryo's ass whenever he gets a chance to. "Dokkun plays hard to get," Yoko crows, draped across Maru's back as they're leaving the bar they hit up after ramen. "You'll need to be direct, Yasuda!"
The plan isn't awful, but in some sort of weird twist of fate, it is never put into motion. When Yasu sees Ryo next, his eyes are distant, full of disbelief and shock, and Uchi isn't with him.
Uchi isn't with them.
He doesn't think about what happened, merely lets Ryo fall onto his side, half wrapped up in Subaru, and pats his shoulder. Ryo mumbles something into his neck. Yasu shakes his head, lifting it upwards to stare at the fluorescent lights overhead -- he can't cry if he can't tell what it is that's stinging his eyes, the light or the burning of tears already forming. Someone reassures them -- probably Hina, or maybe Maru -- but Yasu wonders if it really will be okay. He wants to think so but in the back of his mind, he's a little scared that he may have used all his good karma on just getting their group to debut and now -- now, when they really, really need it, there's none left.
No, Yasu's not even sure if a karma system works when in the entertainment industry.
Weeks later, Yasu and Ryo are working on a new song of sorts; they can't quite figure out the best way to rearrange a section in particular, but nothing seems to fit right, anyway, no matter what they try and how to tweak. Yasu watches Ryo carefully; he's quiet, a lot more subdued, a kind of wary that has nothing to do with hectic schedules and countless nights of limited sleep. Yasu feels bad, even though he knows as well as anybody that there's nothing to be sad about because, well, things just were, but Yasu knew Ryo would warm up to the other members of NEWS eventually, once he stopped being shy and weird and just decided to be himself. Now that NEWS was on hiatus, Yasu has a feeling Ryo...maybe missed them. Even if he would never be caught dead entertaining the idea in public.
He remembers telling Ryo that they would grow on him, if not to be good friends, but at least people he could tolerate and work with. It wasn't like Ryo had much of a choice in the matter, after all, and a lot of their lives were spent grinning and just bearing whatever it was that flitted their way. Like when they were barely fed whenever they had jobs in Tokyo as juniors. Or this, NEWS' hiatus.
Or Uchi being suspended.
Let it never be said that idols had it easy, Yasu's mind wanders. Nothing is ever easy whenever real human emotions are concerned.
"Keep playing," Ryo's voice drifts into his thoughts. Yasu blinks and looks up at the other man, even though Ryo stays still laid out on the couch. He merely nods, adjusting his position a little bit.
"Sure," Yasu replies quietly, fingers working themselves into the proper chord. He starts playing through the section, and when he's done, he strings random notes together, drawing them out, clipping them short. For some reason, he's in a staccato mood, clamping down on the sounds as soon as they emerge -- no, smooth legato notes felt out of place tonight. He plays a little with the notes, upping the tempo a little bit, trying to mimic the frantic pace at which his mind is ordering notes to be played. The sound echoes around him; he stares at the neck of his guitar, zoning out as his fingers take over purely on instinct.
He puts his guitar down when he feels nothing else coming to him and yawns. He glances at Ryo and isn't all too surprised to find the other sleeping, but he's sure the others are going to be invading their peace and quiet soon, and they do have an actual recording session to get through. He yawns again and gets up, crossing the short distance to the couch Ryo is sleeping on and reaches down, gently shaking the other awake.
"Come on," Yasu says gently. "We've got work to do."
They visit Uchi and drag him around because it’s not good for anyone to be stuck inside moping, Yasu thinks, especially Uchi. He asks Ryo to come along because he’s more than sure that he misses Uchi, too, but doesn’t want to embarrass himself by actually admitting this, so Yasu plays friend-matchmaker and invites them out. (Ohkura gives him a funny look when he explains this thought process, but he blames it on the questionable yogurt they found in Ohkura's fridge earlier that day, which Ohkura ate anyway.)
The day starts off with nabe, progresses into the mall, then they find themselves at the zoo, and they end up back at Uchi’s house, content on watching drama reruns and silly variety shows into the night. Yasu hadn’t meant to stay all that long, but Uchi’s mother had ushered them inside once they walked Uchi back home (“Like a girl,” Ryo whines on their way. Uchi flings one end of his scarf over his shoulder, not so coincidentally hitting Ryo in the face. Yasu just darts aside to escape the inevitable scuffle, laughing the whole way.) and has already set out snacks and drinks for them by the time they toed their shoes off in the genkan. Yasu figures it’s okay to relax for a little bit - they don’t need to be back in Tokyo until the afternoon the next day, anyway.
Yasu’s the only one awake a few hours later, having always been a late sleeper. Uchi is drooling onto a pillow, spread out on the floor next to him, and Ryo probably fell asleep as soon as he laid claim on the couch. Yasu leans back a little, back against the edge of the couch, relaxing into it as he munches on some senbei. He turns down the volume of the TV a little, just so it’s a dull static in the otherwise quiet room. There’s a sudden whoosh of air moving by his ear as Ryo’s hand limply tumbles from the couch to hang off the edge; Yasu can feel the other’s fingers twitching right by his ear and even though they’re not touching, the hairs closest to Ryo’s fingers tingle a little bit, pleasantly inching its way up his neck, swirling around his head before settling on his cheeks.
It’s a little weird, but not in a bad way. It confuses Yasu a little because he has no idea when his body began to react in this way to being in close proximity to Ryo, but he doesn’t mind. It’s gentle, safe, welcome - soothing. It’s…nice.
When morning breaks, Yasu’s softly prodded awake by Uchi. He blinks up at him, wondering when he fell asleep and why Uchi has such a knowing look on his face. He rubs at his eyes as Uchi reaches over Yasu’s head to smack Ryo on the leg to wake him up. They laugh as Ryo half-asses a throw of a pillow at Uchi’s head and the impending pillow fight doesn’t happen as Uchi’s mother comes into the room and tells them that breakfast is ready. They immediately get up and file into the kitchen, Uchi still looking far too amused for his own good, Yasu blinking his eyes in the sunlight, and Ryo looking like he would fall asleep once he sat down in his chair at the dining table.
They have to leave shortly after that to catch the train back to Tokyo. Uchi’s mother hugs them all and gives them kisses on the cheek, thanks them for coming to see her Hiroki; Uchi blushes and shoos his mom away. Yasu gives him a hug and a pat on the arm, anyway. It’s good to see Uchi looking a lot like himself.
The train ride back is quiet but comfortable. Ryo looks happier than he has been in weeks. Yasu nudges his leg to get his attention, but once Ryo turns his eyes at him, he doesn’t really know what to say. He shrugs and smiles instead, a little sheepishly, but Ryo smiles a little in return anyway.
Yasu watches from backstage as Ryo is on stage, the only one out of them all, guitar in hand, looking like he’s ready to conquer the world. The lights are dimmed, bathing everyone in warm tones. They clash and converge on Ryo, standing in the middle of the stage. He’s making idle chit-chat with the audience, embarrassment written on his face at being the only one up there, but when he starts playing, his face is serious. Not drawn tight, no furrowed brows, but open, calm, almost serene. The song is one Ryo’s been working on for awhile, one that Yasu helped with a little, but he had no idea it was already done. It’s a good, strong song…it’s really good. It’s amazing, actually.
Yasu watches Ryo move and play and sing, dressed in a simple t-shirt and the same pants from their previous costume, but he looks like a star. No, he looks beautiful as he’s singing, like the only thing important in the world is his need and desire, being poured out to the microphone on its stand. Completely and utterly breathtaking, like the man was born from a paradise lost, here to awe audiences and make people see stars.
Yasu watches and somewhere in his heart, he suspects that maybe Ohkura was right, all that time ago.
It’s times like this when Yasu wonders how people live their entire lives not knowing how it feels to be on stage. There doesn’t have to be fifty-five thousand people around them, there doesn’t need to be elaborate stage set-ups or crazy pyrotechnics - all there needs to be is a willing performer and a willing listener, and the rest is like magic. Yasu runs around with his mic in his hand, sweaty and euphoric. He sees Ryo up ahead, waving at the crowd to their left, and he reaches out, wraps an arm around him as he comes up to his side, leaning onto him fully.
“Uchi’s here,” Ryo says, careful to keep the mic away from his face.
Yasu looks around, and Ryo swings them so they’re facing the right direction. He doesn’t see Uchi - they’re kind of far away and there’s too many lights in his eyes - but he breaks out into a wide grin, hopping around and swinging them back the other way, to avoid Uchi catching on. “You’re going to pull him up, right?” Yasu asks, leaning up as close as he can to Ryo’s ear to try and be heard.
Ryo grins, eyes darting back to the section where Uchi is, presumably, sitting, but before he can respond, it’s his part again. Yasu brings his own mic up to Ryo’s lips and as Ryo sings into it, the girls in the section closest to them are screaming, probably in approval. Yasu beams.
“In a little bit,” Ryo answers when Yasu’s mic is far enough to not pick up any sound.
Yasu doesn’t say anything in response, just presses a kiss to Ryo’s cheek. He pulls away, smiles, waves at the girls around them and then dashes off, waving the entire way.
He’s not sure why he does it. It just…feels right.
He and the others shove Ryo off stage a couple of songs later, towards the end, and he watches as the crowd is confused and Uchi looks more and more apprehensive until Ryo is right there, grabbing at Uchi’s hand. They exchange some words and then Ryo’s running back to the stage, Uchi in tow, and Yasu would cry if he wasn’t smiling so big. The dome explodes in a mass of hysterical cheers and cries; Yasu takes Uchi’s hand once he throws on Ryo’s tour shirt and begins to parade him around the arena, with Maru and Yoko trying their best to smother Uchi with affection of every kind as they go.
A few rounds later and Subaru has his face buried in Uchi’s shoulder. They end the concert on a high note and after two encores, they all file backstage and collapse and tumble into the dressing room. Yasu’s stretching, breathing in deep. He feels his nerves slow down, his entire body gradually falling from the high as he wipes his face with a towel - all that’s leftover is the pleasant buzzing of leftover adrenaline humming through his veins.
When Ryo kisses him, though, his heart pounds like he had just finished another run-through of the concert.
“I like you, okay.”
Yasu smiles and suddenly realizes that hearing those words…it was like the one thing he’s been waiting to hear, but he had no clue he was waiting for it to begin with. And now that he finally heard it, he doesn’t feel so inclined to let it slip through his fingers.
“I guessed as much,” Yasu says softly, leaning up and kissing Ryo, responding in kind. It’s slow, and soft, a gentle press, a hair’s breadth from being exploratory but not quite the quick kiss Ryo surprised him with a moment ago.
Uchi’s voice breaks them apart. “It’s about time. God, you’re so slow, Ryo-chan.”
Yasu looks at Uchi questioningly, a little surprised at hearing it so point blank, but after he looks at Ryo - who looks like he wants to dig his own hole to disappear into since chances are, one won’t magically appear for him right then - Yasu smiles a little.
“He’s had a thing for you for years,” Uchi added.
“Uchi!” Ryo explodes and Yasu takes care to not laugh outright, but he can’t help the grin on his lips. Yoko joins in on the Ryo teasing, and Yasu takes pity on him, reaching out to take Ryo’s hand. He laces their fingers together, squeezing a little, even as he finally lets out a chuckle of his own, and another one when Ryo declares that he hates them all.
“You’ve been happier lately,” Subaru comments.
Yasu looks up once he’s done penciling in a new measure of music and smiles sheepishly, not sure how to respond. “I guess I am,” he says after a few moments, upon realizing that it’s the truth - he has been happier. Perhaps for obvious reasons, but it’s not an unwelcome change at all.
“Things are going well, then?” Subaru asks, strumming a few notes on the guitar in his hand.
“Yeah! Yeah, I think they are.” Yasu pauses, tucking his legs underneath him on the couch. He scribbles down the next few lines of lyrics from his notepad, then tries to piece together a harmony line for it, replaying voices in his head. He gets the burning sensation of eyes on him, though, and he looks up again to meet Subaru’s gaze straight on. “What is it?” he asks.
Subaru merely shrugs and, to Yasu’s surprise, laughs. “I just never pegged that out of all of us, you’d pick Ryo. You usually pick me whenever we’re asked which member we’d like to date!” Subaru mockingly sighs.
“It’s not like I really picked him…it just happened. And we’re not even dating.” Yasu puts his pencil down and flops back onto the couch.
“Then what are you?”
“…we’re just a thing. I mean…does it really need a label?” Yasu thinks out loud. He bites at a fingernail for a second, thinking about the question. It’s not like he could automatically tell what Ryo was thinking now - it didn’t ever work like that. He doesn’t want to read too much into it - actually, Yasu thinks, if they could at least stay on the same page for now, then he should dedicate his effort to doing just that. If Ryo wanted to give it a name, they could…but it didn’t seem all that important, in the grand scheme of things, and he is perfectly okay with that.
He looks back up at Subaru and grins. “You can take his place when he’s off being NEWS, if you’d like.”
“What is that?!” Subaru exclaims, although his laughter makes it seem a lot less angry than it sounds. “I should let him know that he’s going to be taking my place. I was here first!”
Yasu doesn’t reply - he’s laughing too much to do so, really, and he doesn’t stop when Subaru deadpans something about how Yasu’s a liar, telling the world in magazines and on TV that he’d date Subaru.
“The nerve!” Subaru crows, and Yasu cracks up all over again.
Work and this new thing with Ryo leaves him busy, even though they co-exist side-by-side comfortably. It’s fun for Yasu to try and figure out the other things that’ll get Ryo riled up, what his favorite foods are (or more importantly, what his least favorite foods are), the small eccentricities the other man has that he wouldn’t be privy to otherwise. Yasu takes his time and lets the knowledge sink into his mind, imprints the way Ryo’s voice drops an octave when he’s panting against Yasu’s neck into his mind. He burns the look Ryo gives him when he’s sucking him into his memory, wants to memorize the noises Ryo makes low in his throat as Yasu takes him in hand…how Ryo’s fingers feel brushing through his hair, gently urging him on…how they seem to fit together like puzzle pieces, with all their jagged edges and smooth planes…
How Yasu feels a dreamy warmth when he wakes up and realizes he’s cuddled up against Ryo’s side - he doesn’t want to forget it.
After a brief morning scuffle in which Ryo glues himself to his pillow and Yasu drags the sheets off of him in an effort to get him up and out of bed, they wind up at the closest beach, enjoying their time together before they have to go back to work. They wander the dock, drinking in the sounds of the sea and the lapping of the waves, Yasu swinging their joined hands in between them, looking and feeling vaguely like schoolchildren in their first clumsy romance, but Yasu feels that it doesn’t feel so far off the mark
“Yasu, um…last night…” Ryo starts.
He turns and smiles at him. “Let’s see where this goes?”
“Yeah,” Ryo says, letting the tension drain from his body, relaxing fully. Yasu squeezes his hand and does the one thing he’s been wanting to since they got to the beach.
He shoves Ryo into the water.
He laughs, hard and doubled over, and once Ryo’s head pops up from the surface of the water, he’s shouting death threats at him that only falls on deaf ears because Yasu knows Ryo wouldn’t ever carry them out - and besides, Ryo’s enjoying it as much as he is. He giggles, then jogs to meet Ryo on the sand. He’s completely drenched, water seeping from his clothes and soaking into the sand surrounding them, hair plastered to his forehead and looking sullen - Yasu smiles sheepishly at him. Ryo looks displeased, but Yasu wants to remember this, too, forever.
“You’re evil.” Ryo whines.
Yasu chuckles and smiles. “Let’s go back…the others are waiting.”
As they walk - or slosh, in Ryo’s case - Ryo bumps his shoulder, thanks him for being there. And even though Ryo looks like a swamp monster, Yasu grins and slips his hand into Ryo’s anyway. His palm is warm pressed against his own - it makes Yasu feel light and giddy, but he thinks he’s more than okay with it.