remix for aokiyai
Title: Redefine
Rating:g.
Group/Pairing:Ryo/Shige
Warnings:a bit of emo?
Notes: I want to thank F for betaing this for me. First time writing this pairing, so I hope I’ve done them, and your fic, justice.
Link to Original Story: Defined
Link to Original Writer: aokiyai
Redefine.
Ryo stood outside the back doors to the studio, waiting. It had started raining a few moments before. He didn’t feel inclined to move, letting it drip down his face. The only indication that he noticed was his hand shielding his phone from the droplets. He looked down at it, Shige’s name highlighted in his contact list. His fingers kept hovering over the “call” button, but never quite being pressing it.
He had thought he’d known what he was doing. At first, he had thought it was simple. He had this plan to charm Shige into his arms. What was it they say? Treat them mean, keep them keen. He wasn’t that cheesy, but his philosophy on love tendered to waver towards that area. It wasn’t like he set out to treat people rough. His intention had been to do something amazing, to show Shige the way he felt with some grand gesture. He’d been watching Koyama for tips. But at the end of the day that wasn’t Ryo’s style. Ryo wasn’t the type of guy to wear his heart on his sleeve. Even verbally articulating all this “member-ai” Koyama went on about made him uncomfortable. There was no way he could ever be anything like Koyama. So to be able to confess to Shige had become torture. He knew Shige liked him back. He could tell with the coy smiles the other man graced him with. Yet it had been so long neither of them had done anything about it.
He’d wanted to change that. He’d wanted to show Shige that he could be loved in a different way. But somehow he had fallen at the last hurdle. For all Shige’s failings, he was still smart, and much more sure of himself than he let on. Sometimes Ryo forgot that.
He’d ended up cornering him at the end of one of their practices after everyone had left, blocking him from leaving the room.
“I want to talk to you,” he stated, pushing Shige back into the room, “It’s important.”
Shige looked a little alarmed but didn’t let up any resistance, “Wh..what is it?” He stuttered, now standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Ryo fixed his gaze upon him. Before he could think of anything clever to say the words came tumbling out.
“Go out with me,” he demanded.
Shige’s eyes had widened. “I… what?”
“Go out with me,” Ryo repeated with a little more force, “We both obviously like each other, so it’s the next logical step.”
Shige,his eyes still widened but also a little calculating, stared back at Ryo, before looking away. He finally spoke, “I’ll consider it, but I want you to answer me something first.”
It was Ryo’s turn to be shocked. “What?” he asked cautiously.
“I want you to tell me what love is.”
“What…?” Ryo repeated, not understanding the sudden turn of events.
“It’s as simple as that. I want to know what love means to you. Tell me what it is, okay?”
Ryo simply nodded. “Okay,” he agreed, “fine, I will.”
Shige simply smiled and made to exit the room, “You don’t have to tell me now. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
Ryo nodded and let him go. He stood there for a while afterwards, not understanding what had just happened.
When Ryo returned home he immediately grabbed the dictionary that had sat getting dusty on his shelf since he received it, and set it down on the table.
“If Shige wants a definition, he can have a definition” He grumbled to himself flicking quickly through the pages until he got to the entry he wanted to.
Love
-noun
1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. to have love or affection for another person; be in love.
He stared at the page for a while, trying to make sense of the words. It didn’t really give him the answer he wanted. He could tell Shige this textbook answer, but it wouldn’t mean anything coming from him and it definitely wasn’t what Shige wanted to hear. He could almost see Shige’s disappointed face already.
He read it aloud to try and get some meaning into it, but the words sounded empty. This was what love was, but it wasn’t what it was to him. No book could tell him that. But it was a start.
He examined the definition in his head, going over the words one by one. He rolled them over in his mind, trying to approach them from different angles.
Each time he kept coming to the same conclusion. At first he dismissed it. But, as he thought about it more and more, he understood. He smiled to himself. He’d been stupid. That was his answer. It had been staring at him in the face.
The hardest part was to articulate his answer to Shige. The next day Ryo had spent his time watching Shige curiously. The practices for their upcoming concert tour were hard work, but he was glad of them. It meant not only was he was able to see Shige more often under the camouflage of “work”, but also he could be distracted from thinking about that question of his, if only for a couple of moments.
But it also meant the guy was very difficult to avoid.
“So,” Shige began later as he was standing at the vending machines, startling Ryo out of his thoughts of, unsurprisingly, the man himself. “Did you think about what I asked?” he inquired, voice low.
“Yeah I did…” The words were right there in a muddle at the back of his throat, wanting to be let out. But they were stuck and wouldn’t form. “I think it’s about time we went back to practice.”
Ryo quickly grabbed his drink as it thumped at the bottom of the machine and left Shige standing confused behind him.
The next few days had passed slowly. He was either practising harder than usual to try and get Shige out of his mind, or had spent the other agonising moments trying to avoid Shige and his question. Each time Shige approached him to ask him about it, Ryo would choke and try changing the subject or acting vague. It was difficult. Shige never showed any hurt on his face when he practically rejected him. At first it had been confusion, but then it had gradually changed to understanding and patience. After six days, Shige stopped asking.
It wasn’t just that he wasn’t able to tell him. He wanted it to be the right timing. He wanted to do it right. In the dressing room when everyone was listening didn’t sit right. But he Ryo could feel the moments slipping through his fingers.
And that’s how he found himself out in the rain, willing himself to call Shige and tell him. It seemed simpler somehow. He could get it over and done with quickly. He could get away quick if needs be. But somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to press the damn button and ring him. He berated himself for feeling so weak.
He was still considering it, when the door beside him opened out. He jumped slightly and quickly pocketed his phone.
“Oh, Ryo.” Shige’s surprised face peered around the door at him, “What are you still doing here? I thought you’d gone ages ago with Yamapi.”
“Yeah, I did… But I thought I’d pass on the ramen tonight. I was waiting for you instead.”
“For me?”
“Yeah…” Ryo paused, “I have an answer for you.”
“Oh, right,” Shige nodded and left the doorway to give Ryo his full attention, “And?”
Ryo took a deep breath attempting to muster the confidence he always tried to show. “I figured it out. It took me a while because I didn’t realise it at first. But then… it’s you. Love, I mean. It’s you.”
Shige grinned broadly. “Do you mean that?”
“Yeah, I do. Every definition in that stupid dictionary can be applied to you. Whenever I think of love you’re the first thing that comes into my mind. You’re the definition of love. You’re my love. I love you.”
Shige smiled, redness beginning to creep into the colour of his cheeks. Ryo couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked.
“You’re my love too,” Shige replied, and Ryo thought that maybe this confessing thing hadn’t been so hard afterall.
Rating:g.
Group/Pairing:Ryo/Shige
Warnings:a bit of emo?
Notes: I want to thank F for betaing this for me. First time writing this pairing, so I hope I’ve done them, and your fic, justice.
Link to Original Story: Defined
Link to Original Writer: aokiyai
Redefine.
Ryo stood outside the back doors to the studio, waiting. It had started raining a few moments before. He didn’t feel inclined to move, letting it drip down his face. The only indication that he noticed was his hand shielding his phone from the droplets. He looked down at it, Shige’s name highlighted in his contact list. His fingers kept hovering over the “call” button, but never quite being pressing it.
He had thought he’d known what he was doing. At first, he had thought it was simple. He had this plan to charm Shige into his arms. What was it they say? Treat them mean, keep them keen. He wasn’t that cheesy, but his philosophy on love tendered to waver towards that area. It wasn’t like he set out to treat people rough. His intention had been to do something amazing, to show Shige the way he felt with some grand gesture. He’d been watching Koyama for tips. But at the end of the day that wasn’t Ryo’s style. Ryo wasn’t the type of guy to wear his heart on his sleeve. Even verbally articulating all this “member-ai” Koyama went on about made him uncomfortable. There was no way he could ever be anything like Koyama. So to be able to confess to Shige had become torture. He knew Shige liked him back. He could tell with the coy smiles the other man graced him with. Yet it had been so long neither of them had done anything about it.
He’d wanted to change that. He’d wanted to show Shige that he could be loved in a different way. But somehow he had fallen at the last hurdle. For all Shige’s failings, he was still smart, and much more sure of himself than he let on. Sometimes Ryo forgot that.
He’d ended up cornering him at the end of one of their practices after everyone had left, blocking him from leaving the room.
“I want to talk to you,” he stated, pushing Shige back into the room, “It’s important.”
Shige looked a little alarmed but didn’t let up any resistance, “Wh..what is it?” He stuttered, now standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Ryo fixed his gaze upon him. Before he could think of anything clever to say the words came tumbling out.
“Go out with me,” he demanded.
Shige’s eyes had widened. “I… what?”
“Go out with me,” Ryo repeated with a little more force, “We both obviously like each other, so it’s the next logical step.”
Shige,his eyes still widened but also a little calculating, stared back at Ryo, before looking away. He finally spoke, “I’ll consider it, but I want you to answer me something first.”
It was Ryo’s turn to be shocked. “What?” he asked cautiously.
“I want you to tell me what love is.”
“What…?” Ryo repeated, not understanding the sudden turn of events.
“It’s as simple as that. I want to know what love means to you. Tell me what it is, okay?”
Ryo simply nodded. “Okay,” he agreed, “fine, I will.”
Shige simply smiled and made to exit the room, “You don’t have to tell me now. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
Ryo nodded and let him go. He stood there for a while afterwards, not understanding what had just happened.
When Ryo returned home he immediately grabbed the dictionary that had sat getting dusty on his shelf since he received it, and set it down on the table.
“If Shige wants a definition, he can have a definition” He grumbled to himself flicking quickly through the pages until he got to the entry he wanted to.
Love
-noun
1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. to have love or affection for another person; be in love.
He stared at the page for a while, trying to make sense of the words. It didn’t really give him the answer he wanted. He could tell Shige this textbook answer, but it wouldn’t mean anything coming from him and it definitely wasn’t what Shige wanted to hear. He could almost see Shige’s disappointed face already.
He read it aloud to try and get some meaning into it, but the words sounded empty. This was what love was, but it wasn’t what it was to him. No book could tell him that. But it was a start.
He examined the definition in his head, going over the words one by one. He rolled them over in his mind, trying to approach them from different angles.
Each time he kept coming to the same conclusion. At first he dismissed it. But, as he thought about it more and more, he understood. He smiled to himself. He’d been stupid. That was his answer. It had been staring at him in the face.
The hardest part was to articulate his answer to Shige. The next day Ryo had spent his time watching Shige curiously. The practices for their upcoming concert tour were hard work, but he was glad of them. It meant not only was he was able to see Shige more often under the camouflage of “work”, but also he could be distracted from thinking about that question of his, if only for a couple of moments.
But it also meant the guy was very difficult to avoid.
“So,” Shige began later as he was standing at the vending machines, startling Ryo out of his thoughts of, unsurprisingly, the man himself. “Did you think about what I asked?” he inquired, voice low.
“Yeah I did…” The words were right there in a muddle at the back of his throat, wanting to be let out. But they were stuck and wouldn’t form. “I think it’s about time we went back to practice.”
Ryo quickly grabbed his drink as it thumped at the bottom of the machine and left Shige standing confused behind him.
The next few days had passed slowly. He was either practising harder than usual to try and get Shige out of his mind, or had spent the other agonising moments trying to avoid Shige and his question. Each time Shige approached him to ask him about it, Ryo would choke and try changing the subject or acting vague. It was difficult. Shige never showed any hurt on his face when he practically rejected him. At first it had been confusion, but then it had gradually changed to understanding and patience. After six days, Shige stopped asking.
It wasn’t just that he wasn’t able to tell him. He wanted it to be the right timing. He wanted to do it right. In the dressing room when everyone was listening didn’t sit right. But he Ryo could feel the moments slipping through his fingers.
And that’s how he found himself out in the rain, willing himself to call Shige and tell him. It seemed simpler somehow. He could get it over and done with quickly. He could get away quick if needs be. But somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to press the damn button and ring him. He berated himself for feeling so weak.
He was still considering it, when the door beside him opened out. He jumped slightly and quickly pocketed his phone.
“Oh, Ryo.” Shige’s surprised face peered around the door at him, “What are you still doing here? I thought you’d gone ages ago with Yamapi.”
“Yeah, I did… But I thought I’d pass on the ramen tonight. I was waiting for you instead.”
“For me?”
“Yeah…” Ryo paused, “I have an answer for you.”
“Oh, right,” Shige nodded and left the doorway to give Ryo his full attention, “And?”
Ryo took a deep breath attempting to muster the confidence he always tried to show. “I figured it out. It took me a while because I didn’t realise it at first. But then… it’s you. Love, I mean. It’s you.”
Shige grinned broadly. “Do you mean that?”
“Yeah, I do. Every definition in that stupid dictionary can be applied to you. Whenever I think of love you’re the first thing that comes into my mind. You’re the definition of love. You’re my love. I love you.”
Shige smiled, redness beginning to creep into the colour of his cheeks. Ryo couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked.
“You’re my love too,” Shige replied, and Ryo thought that maybe this confessing thing hadn’t been so hard afterall.