Remix for maiade
Title: Forward
Rating: PG-13
Group/Pairing: Ohno/Nino
Notes: I saw the title "Reverse" and I instantly thought, "Forward, right?" Pretty clever, heh. Well, I certainly hope it translated well.
Link to Original Story: Reverse
Link to Original Writer: maiaide
Ohno wasn't old, but he had experienced a lot in his lifetime, and for someone his age, he'd experienced a surprising amount of pain. Nowadays, he's not the hopeless romantic he had once been, but he hadn't always been as popular either. Ohno often made the mistake of loving with all of his heart, so his teenaged years had been riddled with rejection from all the pretty girls - and some of the not-so-pretty girls - and heartbreak from the few he had actually managed to catch (but they always seemed to want the "bad boys" back then). So when Nino - after what had seemed to be years of courting and perseverance - had finally managed to chip away at the plaster casing surrounding his heart, he held him to a promise:
"Please, don't hurt me."
Nino wasn't ideal. Far from it, in fact. He was whiny, childish, and a bit too sarcastic. His hands were too cold, his fingernails too long, and, sometimes, it seemed as if he cared for his "baby" more than his "baby" - that is, his nintendo DS more than Ohno. But, if anything, those tiny flaws and idiosyncrasies were endearing. Plus, he'd managed to hold his end of the bargain for five years and that was good enough for him.
Maybe, Ohno thought, just maybe, this was forever.
Nothing lasts forever.
Ohno's experience may have taught him that life threw you curve balls but no one would've expected everything to come crashing down with one small blue plastic wrapper.
It just...laid there, taunting him, mocking him. His eyebrows furrowed as he plucked it from the ruffled bedsheets, mind racing. Tears pooled in his eyes as he smoothed it out between his fingers. After a long moment of excruciating silence, he finally looked up at Nino.
"We haven't used a condom in five years."
Ohno watched Nino sputter through an explanation. "No- That- It's not what you think" - what, then, was he supposed to think? Ohno didn't want an explanation. He wanted the night to be over quickly. Maybe he would wake up the next day and this would all be nothing but a dream, a horrible, horrible nightmare.
Ohno tossed the condom wrapper into the trash bin, grabbed his coat, and walked out of the bedroom, splashing his face with ice cold water at the kitchen sink.
"Satoshi, wait," Nino cried.
Ohno turned to face him with the most stoic look he could muster. He would forgot about this for the night. "I can't wait. You know how Jun is about punctuality."
Despite all the attempts at physical contact from the opposite party, Ohno made sure to keep his hands in his pockets and arms close to his sides. He didn't look at Nino once during dinner, and as soon as they reached home, he fell asleep on the couch.
--
Ohno headed out alone the next night. Went straight for the nearest club. He had planned to get drunk and go home with the first person he saw, and let them fuck him hard until he saw stars, but had only made it to the front door of some tall cocky bastard named Hiro before feeling guilty for kissing someone else. Oh, the irony.
"I'm sorry, I can't," he managed to choke out before he ran right out of the apartment building and flagged down a taxi to his mother's house.
It had been a while since Ohno had been home. A self-proclaimed "mama's boy," he visited every chance that he got, but hadn't spent the night at home ever since he'd decided to move in with Nino.
"Tadaima," he called out in a soft voice as he padded across the genkan. His mother sat in the kitchen, reading her favorite interior design magazine by the light over the stove.
"Satoshi?"
"Hi, Kaachan."
"Ninomiya-kun's not with you?"
Ohno paused. Of course, he wasn't with him. He shook his head. "I wanted to spend my weekend off with you."
She didn't question any further. It wasn't her nature. Call it a mother's instinct, but one look was all it took for her to discern her son's mood, that something was wrong and he did not want to be bothered.
His mother placed gentle kisses over his tired eyes, whispered, "Goodnight, Satoshi," before leaving him on his own. He's a big boy, she'd have to remind herself later that night when she found herself wanting to crawl right into bed with him.
Ohno reached his bedroom and wriggled out of his clothes. They reeked of alcohol and cigarette smoke. In the back of his closet, he found a pair of old worn pajamas buried in the back and changed into them instead. They smelled like home, nostalgic and innocent, fit like a second skin. All he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and sleep the rest of his life away, and maybe forget all about work and things like unfaithful boyfriends. Things had a tendency of not going the way he wanted them to.
A knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts. "I'm coming," he called, stumbling over to his mirror. Ohno wiped the tears off his cheeks with the edge of his already dampened sleeves.
The words "I'm sorry" were out of Nino's mouth before Ohno even had the door opened all the way.
Ohno glanced past the boy and sighed, spotting his mother's back retreating down the stairs. Of course, she loved Nino, she would never reject him.
"What are you doing here?" Ohno asked in such a way that his voice seemed to really be saying, 'Why did you hurt me?'
Nino cleared his throat. "Your mom let me in."
"No, I meant, why did you come here?"
He replied in a whisper just as broken as Ohno's voice. "I- I wanted to see you."
The small part of Ohno that also wanted to see Nino was drowned out by alarm bells as the familiar barbed wire fence went up around his heart.
Intruder alert, intruder alert. The facility is on lockdown. No one escapes.
Suddenly, he felt so small.
"How did you know I was here?"
"Oh-chan, come on. I know you."
"No, you don't! How do you know I wasn't off banging some guy from a club, huh?"
"Because...Oh-chan, I can explain, just let me-"
"No!"
Nino flinched. The outburst had even surprised Ohno himself. Long gone were the days that Ohno wore his emotions on his sleeves. He rarely displayed his emotions in public, and even if he did, anger wasn't usually one of them.
But, he reasoned, who could blame him at a moment like this? He'd let Nino get away with plenty in the past. Against his better judgement, Ohno had opened his heart and placed his utmost trust in the boy.
Nino tried to hold onto him. Ohno jerked back. His eyes were getting watery again. "Why did you do it?"
Ohno had asked for one thing and one thing only; loyalty. If Nino couldn't adhere to that...then there was nothing.
"You broke us."
--
As usual, Ohno went out with Sho and Aiba as planned that weekend. At Sho's request, they only went for dinner after walking around a bit, because he wanted to go over scripts at home ("You're such an old man," Aiba had crowed goodheartedly). The arrangements were perfectly fine with Ohno, since he hadn't felt like doing much of anything lately. He tried to seem happy, and he tried to seem like he was having fun, like he usually did with the posse, but it was hard. Especially hard when his phone kept ringing every few minutes.
Sho looked a little perturbed after his story was interrupted for the fourth time. "Maybe you should get that."
Ohno sighed. He bowed out of their booth and made straight for the restroom. Six missed calls. He pressed the 'redial' button.
"Oh-chan," Nino gasped.
"I'm eating dinner right now. Please, stop calling."
"Wait, no, I'm sor-"
He quickly hung up and went back to their table.
"I ordered for you," said Aiba. Ohno wasn't paying attention. Not that it was an unusual occurence - he being aloof, that is - but Ohno didn't normally ignore food. Aiba followed his gaze to his phone. "Aren't you going to answer those texts?" Aiba asked as he noticed it vibrating and buzzing.
"Why don't you turn it off?" Sho suggested, still annoyed that the thing kept making noises.
Ohno sighed. He switched it to silent, but his eyes kept darting toward it every so often.
He ended up spacing out more than usual on their way to the shinkansen.
"Earth to Oh-chan," Aiba called out, waving a hand in front of his face.
He shook his head. "Hmm?" Ohno squirmed away when he noticed Aiba's hand advancing toward him.
Aiba swept his fingers underneath Ohno's eyes. "Riida is sad," he uttered.
Sho frowned. "Captain, you're crying."
He reached up, surprised to find his eyes wet.
"What's wrong?" they gathered around with worried, questioning looks in their eyes.
Ohno glanced at his phone again. About halfway through dinner, his inbox had filled up and it had long stopped flashing text alerts. For some reason, he didn't feel any better.
After a few more moments of silence, Aiba and Sho were about to give up. And, then, Ohno spoke in a voice barely over a whisper.
"Nino cheated."
--
It had taken a while for Aiba and Sho and Jun to get over the fact that Ohno and Nino were over. It wasn't until Ohno had gotten over it (or "over it" as he could seem around the others) that they'd finally decided to forgive Nino, to some extent.
Ohno was trying hard, he really was. He was an idol, which meant he had to keep up appearances. He couldn't let the difficulty show, but having to smile all throughout variety shows and interviews was only so bearable when he was trying desperately to forget. However, a five-year relationship was not easily wiped from memory in the span of a month.
Ohno had to ignore Nino. It hurt, undoubtedly, but it was better than the pain he felt when he had to look at him. That was usually only on TV, and, on top of the ever present pain in his chest (on the left side, about where his heart was located), his eyes sometimes hurt from fighting back tears and his throat hurt from holding in sobs. So kept still, stoic. Nothing was wrong. No one suspected a thing.
He was pacing down the hallway, avoiding the green room when Jun found him. "Come with me to the vending machine?"
He couldn't have asked at a better time.
"Do you want anything?" Jun offered.
Ohno smiled at him and shook his head. "I'm good."
Jun eyed him scrutinizingly. "You should smile more," he said.
"Hmm?"
Jun shrugged. "You just never do anymore, that's all. Ever since...you know."
"Oh," was all Ohno replied with.
The younger man sighed, frustrated. He crossed his arms over his chest. "All of this, it's no good for the group dynamic."
Ohno could tell from the look in Jun's eyes that "group dynamic" wasn't the only thing he was worried about. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize to me, it's not my problem," Jun said, rolling his eyes. "You don't have to forgive him you, you know. Just...nothing's going to get better without closure."
Ohno's brow furrowed as he nodded. Of course, he knew that. But he also knew that he didn't completely want closure because still loved Nino and he was confused and that scared him.
"Look, I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, Riida, but you owe it to yourself. I'm not telling you to forgive Nino, only talk to him."
Ohno nodded again because it was all he could do. "I'll try."
"Honestly," Jun huffed, "Why do I have to be the one that worries about this? You're the one called Riida, anyway."
"Hey, that was you guys' decision!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Making me leader! You don't remember?"
"What, and you do?"
Ohno grinned sheepishly. He reached up to grab Jun in a headlock (that really just ended up as a hug), and thought, 'Thank you, Jun.'
--
Ohno grumbled and rubbed at his eyes, his nap interrupted by a familiar high-pitched chuckle.
"Don't fall asleep, silly," Nino chided, tapping the side of his head. Ohno slowly sat up to find Nino dripping wet, wrapped in only a towel around his waist. "Oh-chan, what's that?"
Ohno blinked. He looked down at the condom wrapper in his hand, then back at the disheveled sheets behind him, then at Nino again. "Where...did this come from?" he asked cautiously.
Nino frowned. "I don't-" He froze, eyes suddenly widening, and he gasped. "Satoshi, get off the bed."
"Huh? Why?"
"Trust me, okay? I let Aiba watch over the apartment while we were on vacation and-"
Before he could even finish saying it, Ohno leapt up and barrelled past Nino right into the bathroom.
Rating: PG-13
Group/Pairing: Ohno/Nino
Notes: I saw the title "Reverse" and I instantly thought, "Forward, right?" Pretty clever, heh. Well, I certainly hope it translated well.
Link to Original Story: Reverse
Link to Original Writer: maiaide
Ohno wasn't old, but he had experienced a lot in his lifetime, and for someone his age, he'd experienced a surprising amount of pain. Nowadays, he's not the hopeless romantic he had once been, but he hadn't always been as popular either. Ohno often made the mistake of loving with all of his heart, so his teenaged years had been riddled with rejection from all the pretty girls - and some of the not-so-pretty girls - and heartbreak from the few he had actually managed to catch (but they always seemed to want the "bad boys" back then). So when Nino - after what had seemed to be years of courting and perseverance - had finally managed to chip away at the plaster casing surrounding his heart, he held him to a promise:
"Please, don't hurt me."
Nino wasn't ideal. Far from it, in fact. He was whiny, childish, and a bit too sarcastic. His hands were too cold, his fingernails too long, and, sometimes, it seemed as if he cared for his "baby" more than his "baby" - that is, his nintendo DS more than Ohno. But, if anything, those tiny flaws and idiosyncrasies were endearing. Plus, he'd managed to hold his end of the bargain for five years and that was good enough for him.
Maybe, Ohno thought, just maybe, this was forever.
Nothing lasts forever.
Ohno's experience may have taught him that life threw you curve balls but no one would've expected everything to come crashing down with one small blue plastic wrapper.
It just...laid there, taunting him, mocking him. His eyebrows furrowed as he plucked it from the ruffled bedsheets, mind racing. Tears pooled in his eyes as he smoothed it out between his fingers. After a long moment of excruciating silence, he finally looked up at Nino.
"We haven't used a condom in five years."
Ohno watched Nino sputter through an explanation. "No- That- It's not what you think" - what, then, was he supposed to think? Ohno didn't want an explanation. He wanted the night to be over quickly. Maybe he would wake up the next day and this would all be nothing but a dream, a horrible, horrible nightmare.
Ohno tossed the condom wrapper into the trash bin, grabbed his coat, and walked out of the bedroom, splashing his face with ice cold water at the kitchen sink.
"Satoshi, wait," Nino cried.
Ohno turned to face him with the most stoic look he could muster. He would forgot about this for the night. "I can't wait. You know how Jun is about punctuality."
Despite all the attempts at physical contact from the opposite party, Ohno made sure to keep his hands in his pockets and arms close to his sides. He didn't look at Nino once during dinner, and as soon as they reached home, he fell asleep on the couch.
--
Ohno headed out alone the next night. Went straight for the nearest club. He had planned to get drunk and go home with the first person he saw, and let them fuck him hard until he saw stars, but had only made it to the front door of some tall cocky bastard named Hiro before feeling guilty for kissing someone else. Oh, the irony.
"I'm sorry, I can't," he managed to choke out before he ran right out of the apartment building and flagged down a taxi to his mother's house.
It had been a while since Ohno had been home. A self-proclaimed "mama's boy," he visited every chance that he got, but hadn't spent the night at home ever since he'd decided to move in with Nino.
"Tadaima," he called out in a soft voice as he padded across the genkan. His mother sat in the kitchen, reading her favorite interior design magazine by the light over the stove.
"Satoshi?"
"Hi, Kaachan."
"Ninomiya-kun's not with you?"
Ohno paused. Of course, he wasn't with him. He shook his head. "I wanted to spend my weekend off with you."
She didn't question any further. It wasn't her nature. Call it a mother's instinct, but one look was all it took for her to discern her son's mood, that something was wrong and he did not want to be bothered.
His mother placed gentle kisses over his tired eyes, whispered, "Goodnight, Satoshi," before leaving him on his own. He's a big boy, she'd have to remind herself later that night when she found herself wanting to crawl right into bed with him.
Ohno reached his bedroom and wriggled out of his clothes. They reeked of alcohol and cigarette smoke. In the back of his closet, he found a pair of old worn pajamas buried in the back and changed into them instead. They smelled like home, nostalgic and innocent, fit like a second skin. All he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and sleep the rest of his life away, and maybe forget all about work and things like unfaithful boyfriends. Things had a tendency of not going the way he wanted them to.
A knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts. "I'm coming," he called, stumbling over to his mirror. Ohno wiped the tears off his cheeks with the edge of his already dampened sleeves.
The words "I'm sorry" were out of Nino's mouth before Ohno even had the door opened all the way.
Ohno glanced past the boy and sighed, spotting his mother's back retreating down the stairs. Of course, she loved Nino, she would never reject him.
"What are you doing here?" Ohno asked in such a way that his voice seemed to really be saying, 'Why did you hurt me?'
Nino cleared his throat. "Your mom let me in."
"No, I meant, why did you come here?"
He replied in a whisper just as broken as Ohno's voice. "I- I wanted to see you."
The small part of Ohno that also wanted to see Nino was drowned out by alarm bells as the familiar barbed wire fence went up around his heart.
Intruder alert, intruder alert. The facility is on lockdown. No one escapes.
Suddenly, he felt so small.
"How did you know I was here?"
"Oh-chan, come on. I know you."
"No, you don't! How do you know I wasn't off banging some guy from a club, huh?"
"Because...Oh-chan, I can explain, just let me-"
"No!"
Nino flinched. The outburst had even surprised Ohno himself. Long gone were the days that Ohno wore his emotions on his sleeves. He rarely displayed his emotions in public, and even if he did, anger wasn't usually one of them.
But, he reasoned, who could blame him at a moment like this? He'd let Nino get away with plenty in the past. Against his better judgement, Ohno had opened his heart and placed his utmost trust in the boy.
Nino tried to hold onto him. Ohno jerked back. His eyes were getting watery again. "Why did you do it?"
Ohno had asked for one thing and one thing only; loyalty. If Nino couldn't adhere to that...then there was nothing.
"You broke us."
--
As usual, Ohno went out with Sho and Aiba as planned that weekend. At Sho's request, they only went for dinner after walking around a bit, because he wanted to go over scripts at home ("You're such an old man," Aiba had crowed goodheartedly). The arrangements were perfectly fine with Ohno, since he hadn't felt like doing much of anything lately. He tried to seem happy, and he tried to seem like he was having fun, like he usually did with the posse, but it was hard. Especially hard when his phone kept ringing every few minutes.
Sho looked a little perturbed after his story was interrupted for the fourth time. "Maybe you should get that."
Ohno sighed. He bowed out of their booth and made straight for the restroom. Six missed calls. He pressed the 'redial' button.
"Oh-chan," Nino gasped.
"I'm eating dinner right now. Please, stop calling."
"Wait, no, I'm sor-"
He quickly hung up and went back to their table.
"I ordered for you," said Aiba. Ohno wasn't paying attention. Not that it was an unusual occurence - he being aloof, that is - but Ohno didn't normally ignore food. Aiba followed his gaze to his phone. "Aren't you going to answer those texts?" Aiba asked as he noticed it vibrating and buzzing.
"Why don't you turn it off?" Sho suggested, still annoyed that the thing kept making noises.
Ohno sighed. He switched it to silent, but his eyes kept darting toward it every so often.
He ended up spacing out more than usual on their way to the shinkansen.
"Earth to Oh-chan," Aiba called out, waving a hand in front of his face.
He shook his head. "Hmm?" Ohno squirmed away when he noticed Aiba's hand advancing toward him.
Aiba swept his fingers underneath Ohno's eyes. "Riida is sad," he uttered.
Sho frowned. "Captain, you're crying."
He reached up, surprised to find his eyes wet.
"What's wrong?" they gathered around with worried, questioning looks in their eyes.
Ohno glanced at his phone again. About halfway through dinner, his inbox had filled up and it had long stopped flashing text alerts. For some reason, he didn't feel any better.
After a few more moments of silence, Aiba and Sho were about to give up. And, then, Ohno spoke in a voice barely over a whisper.
"Nino cheated."
--
It had taken a while for Aiba and Sho and Jun to get over the fact that Ohno and Nino were over. It wasn't until Ohno had gotten over it (or "over it" as he could seem around the others) that they'd finally decided to forgive Nino, to some extent.
Ohno was trying hard, he really was. He was an idol, which meant he had to keep up appearances. He couldn't let the difficulty show, but having to smile all throughout variety shows and interviews was only so bearable when he was trying desperately to forget. However, a five-year relationship was not easily wiped from memory in the span of a month.
Ohno had to ignore Nino. It hurt, undoubtedly, but it was better than the pain he felt when he had to look at him. That was usually only on TV, and, on top of the ever present pain in his chest (on the left side, about where his heart was located), his eyes sometimes hurt from fighting back tears and his throat hurt from holding in sobs. So kept still, stoic. Nothing was wrong. No one suspected a thing.
He was pacing down the hallway, avoiding the green room when Jun found him. "Come with me to the vending machine?"
He couldn't have asked at a better time.
"Do you want anything?" Jun offered.
Ohno smiled at him and shook his head. "I'm good."
Jun eyed him scrutinizingly. "You should smile more," he said.
"Hmm?"
Jun shrugged. "You just never do anymore, that's all. Ever since...you know."
"Oh," was all Ohno replied with.
The younger man sighed, frustrated. He crossed his arms over his chest. "All of this, it's no good for the group dynamic."
Ohno could tell from the look in Jun's eyes that "group dynamic" wasn't the only thing he was worried about. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize to me, it's not my problem," Jun said, rolling his eyes. "You don't have to forgive him you, you know. Just...nothing's going to get better without closure."
Ohno's brow furrowed as he nodded. Of course, he knew that. But he also knew that he didn't completely want closure because still loved Nino and he was confused and that scared him.
"Look, I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, Riida, but you owe it to yourself. I'm not telling you to forgive Nino, only talk to him."
Ohno nodded again because it was all he could do. "I'll try."
"Honestly," Jun huffed, "Why do I have to be the one that worries about this? You're the one called Riida, anyway."
"Hey, that was you guys' decision!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Making me leader! You don't remember?"
"What, and you do?"
Ohno grinned sheepishly. He reached up to grab Jun in a headlock (that really just ended up as a hug), and thought, 'Thank you, Jun.'
--
Ohno grumbled and rubbed at his eyes, his nap interrupted by a familiar high-pitched chuckle.
"Don't fall asleep, silly," Nino chided, tapping the side of his head. Ohno slowly sat up to find Nino dripping wet, wrapped in only a towel around his waist. "Oh-chan, what's that?"
Ohno blinked. He looked down at the condom wrapper in his hand, then back at the disheveled sheets behind him, then at Nino again. "Where...did this come from?" he asked cautiously.
Nino frowned. "I don't-" He froze, eyes suddenly widening, and he gasped. "Satoshi, get off the bed."
"Huh? Why?"
"Trust me, okay? I let Aiba watch over the apartment while we were on vacation and-"
Before he could even finish saying it, Ohno leapt up and barrelled past Nino right into the bathroom.