The Balderdash Round Robin 1.0
Meet Galina Balderdash. She'd come and say hi, but she's to busy looking at the pretty birds.
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Well good on you, Galina. Finding your lifes passion right off the bat like that. Impressive. I'm absolutely positive that your desire to hunt bugs and be at one with nature will serve us well here in Bluewater Villiage.
Her house is rather bland, but thats what you get when you only have a few thousand simolens to spend on decorating! But her kitchen is my absolute favorite thing about the house.
Mainly because its not just pink, but it features one of my prettiful wallpapers.
Oh yeah. Shameless self promoting. Mama like.
Just for argument sake (But Jen, I'm sure the rest of her house is lovely!) Uhm no. Its nice, but its no work of art.
I have to be honest, fifty dream dates just isn't going to happen.
"I really like the outdoors, but I feel like something is missing."
"Dear Diary, I think that the appearance of the outside of my rather pink house could be improved 210% if there was a garden gnome. I understand that Sim!God ran out of money, but perhaps she can sell the light in the bathroom and make my dreams come true."
Gurl, your dreams are a bit shit. Maybe you should dream about prince charming or getting a magic lamp. Gnomes are small potatos. Literally, their potatos are very tiny. I've checked.
Ps. Potatos is code for balls. You're welcome.
Granting wishes like motherfuckin' Santa Claus over here.
"Have you heard that balls are now refered to as potatos?"
"What do you mean you've never heard that?"
No? Damn.
After offending the old lady, Galina sits down and tries to get herself the highest paying job possible. She settled for a job with the police force.
The welcome wagon showed up and Galina insisted on introducing herself to nearly all of them. And by nearly I mean the guy on the right she completely ignored. Because he was wearing sandals and that shit just ain't cool.
Although Galina quickly realized that perhaps she shouldn't have introduced herself to any of them. Becuase they were some weird ass motherfuckers. shit. Sniffin' my Beyonce chicken.
Unsure of how to get rid of them Galina decided that pretending they weren't there was probably the safest bet. So she made herself some lunch and carried on as if the crazy chicken sniffer wasn't standing right behind her.
This next segment is called ~Couch Shinannigans~
~Fin~
After a good nights sleep and a stupidly healthy breakfast, Galina decides she needs to find herself a man.
So she heads to a community lot where instead of scoping out the hotties she makes an ass of herself.
After her epic splash at the pool she wanders outside to see what there is.
"Good Day, barkeep!"
"I would like one beverage please. I would order something fancy but I see all you have is the bottom of a blender so a frozen margarita is off the menu."
This face pretty much says it all. Even alcohol can not salvage the company in which Galina finds herself.
She was just about to leave to seek other people when a witch happened to drop in.
"Wait, wait, are you telling me you can fly? Like a motherfuckin' airplane?"
Tired of everyone, even the witch, Galina goes to the trendy nightclub in town. Even if its not night and she's wearing a bathing suit.
"Fuck the police."
Yeah you tell em' girl.
Of course once she gets to the club she's a stinking mess of irritation.
"Just leave me here to die."
Melodramatic, much?
In an effort to make her enjoy herself and attract potential mates Galina does her version of the smustle.
I call this set ~Embarrassing White Girl~
~Fin~
Its never good when one white girl is shown up by another.
"Hello, barkeep! I need to drown my sorrows and lose my inibitions so I can dance free like a bird. Speaking of birds."
"Lady, order a drink and shut the hell up."
"oh."
Without the Barkeep to talk to Galina occupies her time while waiting for her drink by hitting on imaginary people.
"Man, once I get enough courage to try this on real people no one will be able to resist me."
That ball of stink thats clinging to you says otherwise, m'dear.
Exhausted after a a day of Chicken Sniffers, swimming, Drinking, Shaming herself publically and stinking to high heaven, Galina heads home aware that tomorrow she starts her first day of work and she is no way closer to finding her ~True Love~.
After two grueling days of skilling and going to work, Galina finally has a day off and uses it to talk to Beyonce the Chicken.
Literally all day.
The next day this hottie with a body walked by and Galina was quick to invite him inside to be woo'd.
God damn it, I said Woo'd not Whoohoo'd.
"We've done it on the couch, maybe we should try on the bed this time."
No Objections here, it seems.
Brown chicken, Brown cow.
We're sexy and we know it.
Ps. Julian was invited to move in and he said yes. For some reason I did not take a single picture of this ~touching moment~.
BUT I DID GET THIS TOUCHING MOMENT. (and the touching moments above, hurr hurr.)
Julian wants to be a celebrity Chef. Galina figured he'd be making the big bucks and didn't bother asking him what kind of job he had now, because he was obviously very wealthy. (So wealthy he only brought in two grand when he moved.)
Galina promptly quit her job, envisioning her life as a stay at home mom. Which is odd, because she's a pleasure/Knowledge sim without a mothering bone in her body. Unless Julian is giving her one. But once thats over she's back to being incredibly selfish.
~Wedding Times~
I made them change into formal wear even if they were just going to get hitched in the main room of the house. Whatever. It seems classier now. Yeah.
~Fin~
"Whaddya mean I'm pregnant? I can't drink if I'm pregnant. Surely the test is wrong."
"Oh Hey honey, good news! I'm going to be a blimp!" "When?" "Oh roughly three days."
~Le Pop~
As you can see the pregnancy wasn't easy on Galina and add in the roaches, dying flowers and general stink she was not having a good time.
Julian helped when he could but he was often busy at work.
Oh good. Just what a pregnant sim needs.
The gardener stole something, but for the life of me I can't figure out what. Something in the kitchen.
(I'm re-doing the code for this story and realized that maybe the gardner stole the containers I had on top of the fridge? The Cluttery ones from KBstuff? lol Sukka.)
With a little one on the way and having 2 days off in a row, Julian is desperate for simolens.
And to end this update we'll give you a series of pictures I like to call:
~They aren't waffles, motherfucker.~
~ Fin~
See you next update where we find out if Galine gives birth or goes crazy first. And if Julien ever figures out how to shower with the door closed. Thanks for reading!