candy: tastes like chicken, if chicken was a candy.
so many things have been happening. so many things on my mind. and i finally have some time to write it all down. so i'll try to start from sometime after the last post:
mike was leaving for australia for a month in about a week. he and i wanted to spend some actual quality time together as opposed to us sitting around watching tv, or driving around in his car while he smokes weed with jay hale. so we decided to spend a day down the shore. we even planned on actually going to the beach, which, if you've known me for more than 5 years, you'd know that i havent been to the beach or owned a bathing suit in over 10 years. in the same time that we were gonna be going down the shore, mike had to pack his stuff to move out of his house before he left for australia. basically, he had a lot of shit to do in a short amount of time. i offered to help him, seriously, about 50 times. he told me he didn't want to bother me with moving shit. whatever. so i told him to at least have his room packed up before we left for the shore. that night, after we got in the car and headed over the bridge, i didn't even wanna bring up the subject, because it would be our last time together for the rest of the summer and i wanted it to be virtually stress free.
for the first time in, possibly ever, i had my family's shore house to myself. or in this case, me and mike. i was excited and also impressed with how quiet it really is in wildwood when none of my family members are in the same house as me. mike and i took a walk down to the beach and got some star gazing action. then we walked over to a playground nearby and he pushed me on the swings. we went back to my house because all that walking in flip flops gave me blisters between my toes. we got drunk on the store of random liquors hidden away in the cabinet. then we took a shower. yeah together.
for some reason, i didn't sleep too good that night. i dunno. so we woke up actually pretty early, then made a fuckin awesome breakfast, and then we had some more naked time. after all that, we got our stuff together and went down to the beach. like i said, i havent had a bathing suit in a long damn time, so i just wore a wife beater and boxer shorts. mike forgot his swim trunks too, so he had to borrow a pair of boxers off of me. when we got to the beach we were, seriously, the whitest people down there. we were blinding people. it was pretty fuckin hot out too. we rocked out to some SPF 50, and reapplied every hour probably. the ocean water was really nice. the only thing that really sucked was the fact that there was nothing but seaweed in the water. i fuckin HATE seaweed. its this weird childhood phobia. so i pretty much jumped on mike's back and made weird girly sounds everytime some seaweed touched me or came near me. mike just lauged and turned around everytime a big wave came by so i would get the brunt force from the wave. bastard. but it was fun. we hung out, got some sun (yeah, you'll never hear me say that ever again), ate some sandwiches, and made fun of eachother. around 3 in the p.m. we went back to my house, got a shower, and took a nap. after we woke up, we packed our stuff and met up with mike's family who were staying in sea isle city. they were bbq'ing, and gettin drunk. mike made me this gin and tonic that knocked me on my ass. it was pretty late when we decided to leave for philly.
when we got back to my house in philly mike was too lazy to just go home. so he just slept over here. he asked me if i would just wake him up early so he could get to his house and start packing all his stuff.
right then, it dawned on me that he didn't even bother to take my advice when i told him to pack before we left for the shore. and i was pissed.
mind you, that he was leaving for australia in only a day when he decided he would pack his house up and also pack for his month long trip to australia. mike is NORMALLY a really smart guy. and at this point, i was gonna kill him.
so i woke him up early the next day, and i told him another 50 x's that i would help him move his stuff and to call me when he was done putting stuff in boxes. he told me he would call, and then left.
i busied myself around the house for a couple hours, then around 4in the p.m. i called him to see how his progress was going. he told me that he had already moved all his shit back to his mom's house, and then proceeded to tell me of all the injuries he sustained by moving all that heavy stuff by himself. and i was pissed. i was like "i told you i would help you move your stuff, especially your bed, and you fuckin did it alone. then you tell me of all the cuts and bruises you got because you were stupid enough to not call for help. why did you do that?" mike's response was a long pause, and an "i don't know". at that point, i was gonna kill him. i told him i would still meet up with him after i got out of practice so we could have some sexy alone time before his aunt would come to pick us up and drive him to the airport at 5 in the a.m.
he told me that he would pick me up from practice.
so i went to practice, sweat my ass off, cried to my team mates about mike leaving, etc. then mike came to pick me up. we stopped by his house to get some important stuff he left behind. mike seriously left a lot of shit. on top of that, most of the stuff he was leaving, was stuff he deemed unimportant and someone else ravaging the house could have. he'd better hope none of that stuff is mine. so we stop by my house so i could get a clean pair of clothes. on the way over, i asked him if he wanted to hang out with any friends before he left. he didn't really answer at first, but he called up some people when i was getting some stuff from my house. he got ahold of jay hale who wanted to hang out, but he wanted to go to a bar in N.E. philly. i didn't even shower yet, and i was wearing a pair of boxer shorts that i was planning on sleeping in (if we slept at all), so i wasn't too crazy on going out really. but i kinda caved in anyway, and we went. the boys smoked weed while i sat around. we got to the bar and mike bought me a lot of drinks, then got drunk himself. at first, we were only gonna stay an hour. then, we were gonna leave by 12:30. then 1:30. in the end, we didn't leave until well after 2. i was kinda pissed. we were gonna be leaving for the airport at 5, and we still had the 45 min drive to his parents house ahead of us. so we drop off jay and get drivin.
when we were on the vine street expressway, i asked mike if there was anything else he needed to pack or if there was anything i could help him with, and he said "yeah.... everything.". at the time, i was dumbstruck. i just looked at him, and was like "what do you mean, EVERYTHING?" and he just looked at me like he knew he let me down and said "i didn't pack anything for my trip yet...". then i kinda blew up on him. in hindsight, i feel really bad about it because i know he felt stupid and shitty about it as it was. but seriously.... who the fuck would do that?? jesus christ...
mike started having a panic attack, and i had to calm the both of us down. i said i would still help him get all his stuff together. so by the time we got to his mom's house, it was 3. he started getting his shit together, but he was still awfully drunk, and i'm surprised i let him drive. he had this mission statement for his trip that included a check list of things he would need for the month, and i read it off to him while he searched the endless boxes and bags of shit from his house. this entire ordeal took over a fuckin hour. by the time we were done, both of us were too tired to even think about naked sexy time. we sat down for a breather and watched some tv.
then mike turns to me, looking very serious, and said "jen, there's something i need to tell you. and honestly, its something that i don't tell you enough and should tell you all the time from now on." then he turns the volume from the tv down, and i knew it was super serious. he takes my hands in his, and looks me in the eyes and says "jen, you are the person i want to spend the rest of my life with."
i was elated and conflicted at the same moment. i wanted to spout all this mushy stupid shit and cry and kiss him. but i knew, and i know that he'll just change his mind about that in another month. all i could bring myself to do was smile at him and give him a kiss. i don't even know if there was anything i could have said. i've said it all before, and i didn't even know if repeating myself would have the same profound effect that his words had on me at that moment.
so, that aside, we took a shower, and just held eachother because i was starting to get really upset about him leaving. after we got out, and got dressed, mike rechecked everything. by the time he was done, his aunt came by to drive us to the airport. it was pretty much the most depressing drive ever.
when we got to the airport, i went with mike to check his bags in, and we said our goodbyes outside the terminal. i cried a little bit. i was trying not to, because i try to be strong in front of him. i didn't cry a couple summers ago when he left for bootcamp, but i did cry this time.
when he was out of sight, i stopped waving good bye. its a weird feeling when you realize that its the last you'll see of someone for a long while. i had a lot to think about on the ride home.
luckily, the next day i went back to work at the masquerade store. they finally have enough money to pay me again. so i've been working a lot. trying to keep my mind somewhere else. most of my friends and co-workers like to make fun of me that i won't be fucked for an entire month, then tell me about the awesome sex they had last night. i then punch them and tell them how painful having carpal tunnel syndrome from masturbating so much is. i can make fun of myself too, only so much better.
i haven't seen many of my friends at all since mike left. not only that, but no one's called me. the only exceptions are monika, faith, lauren, dave, andre, and my roller derby broads. apparently my friends suck.
whatever.
so its been a whole 2 weeks since mike left. it seems so much fuckin longer. i miss him so fuckin much. he's called me when he can. he called me in L.A. while on layover. he called me from sydney when he got there, then he called me when he got to the place that he's staying in the middle of the rainforest. he called me a couple times while there. and he called me before he left for sydney to go to the barrier reef. needless to say, i'm jealous.
i'm still waiting for another call. he should be coming home august 24th. i cant wait.
but yeah, i'm just keepin busy so i dont go insane. last night my heavy metal hookers and i had a photo shoot for revolver magazine with this band Every Time I Die. i think i've heard of them before. either way, they were really nice guys and i didnt flirt with a damn one of them, but mandawar did. they also stayed the hell away from me, probably because i smelled. but thats ok. they gave us free stuff. i like free stuff. after the shoot, eurothrash, drop dead red, ivana rock and i all went to the dive for adult swim night. it was some good times. i'm planning on doing adult swim night more often. its better than sitting at home alone watching cartoons. obviously being drunk and watching adult swim is much better.
anyway, i do have to get goin. its one of my only days off and i need to help my mom do some stuff. but hopefully i will have a really good story to tell really soon. hopefully much better than this one.
Jen "i slips in and out of diabetic coma. they should make insulin flavored candy... whatever." Simms
mike was leaving for australia for a month in about a week. he and i wanted to spend some actual quality time together as opposed to us sitting around watching tv, or driving around in his car while he smokes weed with jay hale. so we decided to spend a day down the shore. we even planned on actually going to the beach, which, if you've known me for more than 5 years, you'd know that i havent been to the beach or owned a bathing suit in over 10 years. in the same time that we were gonna be going down the shore, mike had to pack his stuff to move out of his house before he left for australia. basically, he had a lot of shit to do in a short amount of time. i offered to help him, seriously, about 50 times. he told me he didn't want to bother me with moving shit. whatever. so i told him to at least have his room packed up before we left for the shore. that night, after we got in the car and headed over the bridge, i didn't even wanna bring up the subject, because it would be our last time together for the rest of the summer and i wanted it to be virtually stress free.
for the first time in, possibly ever, i had my family's shore house to myself. or in this case, me and mike. i was excited and also impressed with how quiet it really is in wildwood when none of my family members are in the same house as me. mike and i took a walk down to the beach and got some star gazing action. then we walked over to a playground nearby and he pushed me on the swings. we went back to my house because all that walking in flip flops gave me blisters between my toes. we got drunk on the store of random liquors hidden away in the cabinet. then we took a shower. yeah together.
for some reason, i didn't sleep too good that night. i dunno. so we woke up actually pretty early, then made a fuckin awesome breakfast, and then we had some more naked time. after all that, we got our stuff together and went down to the beach. like i said, i havent had a bathing suit in a long damn time, so i just wore a wife beater and boxer shorts. mike forgot his swim trunks too, so he had to borrow a pair of boxers off of me. when we got to the beach we were, seriously, the whitest people down there. we were blinding people. it was pretty fuckin hot out too. we rocked out to some SPF 50, and reapplied every hour probably. the ocean water was really nice. the only thing that really sucked was the fact that there was nothing but seaweed in the water. i fuckin HATE seaweed. its this weird childhood phobia. so i pretty much jumped on mike's back and made weird girly sounds everytime some seaweed touched me or came near me. mike just lauged and turned around everytime a big wave came by so i would get the brunt force from the wave. bastard. but it was fun. we hung out, got some sun (yeah, you'll never hear me say that ever again), ate some sandwiches, and made fun of eachother. around 3 in the p.m. we went back to my house, got a shower, and took a nap. after we woke up, we packed our stuff and met up with mike's family who were staying in sea isle city. they were bbq'ing, and gettin drunk. mike made me this gin and tonic that knocked me on my ass. it was pretty late when we decided to leave for philly.
when we got back to my house in philly mike was too lazy to just go home. so he just slept over here. he asked me if i would just wake him up early so he could get to his house and start packing all his stuff.
right then, it dawned on me that he didn't even bother to take my advice when i told him to pack before we left for the shore. and i was pissed.
mind you, that he was leaving for australia in only a day when he decided he would pack his house up and also pack for his month long trip to australia. mike is NORMALLY a really smart guy. and at this point, i was gonna kill him.
so i woke him up early the next day, and i told him another 50 x's that i would help him move his stuff and to call me when he was done putting stuff in boxes. he told me he would call, and then left.
i busied myself around the house for a couple hours, then around 4in the p.m. i called him to see how his progress was going. he told me that he had already moved all his shit back to his mom's house, and then proceeded to tell me of all the injuries he sustained by moving all that heavy stuff by himself. and i was pissed. i was like "i told you i would help you move your stuff, especially your bed, and you fuckin did it alone. then you tell me of all the cuts and bruises you got because you were stupid enough to not call for help. why did you do that?" mike's response was a long pause, and an "i don't know". at that point, i was gonna kill him. i told him i would still meet up with him after i got out of practice so we could have some sexy alone time before his aunt would come to pick us up and drive him to the airport at 5 in the a.m.
he told me that he would pick me up from practice.
so i went to practice, sweat my ass off, cried to my team mates about mike leaving, etc. then mike came to pick me up. we stopped by his house to get some important stuff he left behind. mike seriously left a lot of shit. on top of that, most of the stuff he was leaving, was stuff he deemed unimportant and someone else ravaging the house could have. he'd better hope none of that stuff is mine. so we stop by my house so i could get a clean pair of clothes. on the way over, i asked him if he wanted to hang out with any friends before he left. he didn't really answer at first, but he called up some people when i was getting some stuff from my house. he got ahold of jay hale who wanted to hang out, but he wanted to go to a bar in N.E. philly. i didn't even shower yet, and i was wearing a pair of boxer shorts that i was planning on sleeping in (if we slept at all), so i wasn't too crazy on going out really. but i kinda caved in anyway, and we went. the boys smoked weed while i sat around. we got to the bar and mike bought me a lot of drinks, then got drunk himself. at first, we were only gonna stay an hour. then, we were gonna leave by 12:30. then 1:30. in the end, we didn't leave until well after 2. i was kinda pissed. we were gonna be leaving for the airport at 5, and we still had the 45 min drive to his parents house ahead of us. so we drop off jay and get drivin.
when we were on the vine street expressway, i asked mike if there was anything else he needed to pack or if there was anything i could help him with, and he said "yeah.... everything.". at the time, i was dumbstruck. i just looked at him, and was like "what do you mean, EVERYTHING?" and he just looked at me like he knew he let me down and said "i didn't pack anything for my trip yet...". then i kinda blew up on him. in hindsight, i feel really bad about it because i know he felt stupid and shitty about it as it was. but seriously.... who the fuck would do that?? jesus christ...
mike started having a panic attack, and i had to calm the both of us down. i said i would still help him get all his stuff together. so by the time we got to his mom's house, it was 3. he started getting his shit together, but he was still awfully drunk, and i'm surprised i let him drive. he had this mission statement for his trip that included a check list of things he would need for the month, and i read it off to him while he searched the endless boxes and bags of shit from his house. this entire ordeal took over a fuckin hour. by the time we were done, both of us were too tired to even think about naked sexy time. we sat down for a breather and watched some tv.
then mike turns to me, looking very serious, and said "jen, there's something i need to tell you. and honestly, its something that i don't tell you enough and should tell you all the time from now on." then he turns the volume from the tv down, and i knew it was super serious. he takes my hands in his, and looks me in the eyes and says "jen, you are the person i want to spend the rest of my life with."
i was elated and conflicted at the same moment. i wanted to spout all this mushy stupid shit and cry and kiss him. but i knew, and i know that he'll just change his mind about that in another month. all i could bring myself to do was smile at him and give him a kiss. i don't even know if there was anything i could have said. i've said it all before, and i didn't even know if repeating myself would have the same profound effect that his words had on me at that moment.
so, that aside, we took a shower, and just held eachother because i was starting to get really upset about him leaving. after we got out, and got dressed, mike rechecked everything. by the time he was done, his aunt came by to drive us to the airport. it was pretty much the most depressing drive ever.
when we got to the airport, i went with mike to check his bags in, and we said our goodbyes outside the terminal. i cried a little bit. i was trying not to, because i try to be strong in front of him. i didn't cry a couple summers ago when he left for bootcamp, but i did cry this time.
when he was out of sight, i stopped waving good bye. its a weird feeling when you realize that its the last you'll see of someone for a long while. i had a lot to think about on the ride home.
luckily, the next day i went back to work at the masquerade store. they finally have enough money to pay me again. so i've been working a lot. trying to keep my mind somewhere else. most of my friends and co-workers like to make fun of me that i won't be fucked for an entire month, then tell me about the awesome sex they had last night. i then punch them and tell them how painful having carpal tunnel syndrome from masturbating so much is. i can make fun of myself too, only so much better.
i haven't seen many of my friends at all since mike left. not only that, but no one's called me. the only exceptions are monika, faith, lauren, dave, andre, and my roller derby broads. apparently my friends suck.
whatever.
so its been a whole 2 weeks since mike left. it seems so much fuckin longer. i miss him so fuckin much. he's called me when he can. he called me in L.A. while on layover. he called me from sydney when he got there, then he called me when he got to the place that he's staying in the middle of the rainforest. he called me a couple times while there. and he called me before he left for sydney to go to the barrier reef. needless to say, i'm jealous.
i'm still waiting for another call. he should be coming home august 24th. i cant wait.
but yeah, i'm just keepin busy so i dont go insane. last night my heavy metal hookers and i had a photo shoot for revolver magazine with this band Every Time I Die. i think i've heard of them before. either way, they were really nice guys and i didnt flirt with a damn one of them, but mandawar did. they also stayed the hell away from me, probably because i smelled. but thats ok. they gave us free stuff. i like free stuff. after the shoot, eurothrash, drop dead red, ivana rock and i all went to the dive for adult swim night. it was some good times. i'm planning on doing adult swim night more often. its better than sitting at home alone watching cartoons. obviously being drunk and watching adult swim is much better.
anyway, i do have to get goin. its one of my only days off and i need to help my mom do some stuff. but hopefully i will have a really good story to tell really soon. hopefully much better than this one.
Jen "i slips in and out of diabetic coma. they should make insulin flavored candy... whatever." Simms