If only this were an exaggeration...
To: All staff
Subject: Reminder.
Dear all,
Just so we're clear:
1. My mobile phone is my own. I paid for it and I pay the bills. It's not a work phone.
2. My laptop is my own. I paid for that too. It's not a work laptop either. Though every fucker else seems to have one.
3. Likewise my broadband Internet connection at home (another £30 a month I don't claim for) and my home PC.
4. I sometimes use these devices, outside normal office hours, to do important company work, such as when there's an emergency of some kind.
BUT - and this is the important bit - none of this means that you all have any right to call me on my private phone number at all hours whenever you get scared of the magic box that runs on elastic-trickery.
This includes panicking because you immersed it in water or plugged it into the wrong socket because, really, 60 is just the same as 61 isn't it? I don't know why they wasted money labelling these sockets, they're all the same aren't they? Oh look it doesn't work!
In other news, when a box "with lots of writing" appears on the screen you might try reading it instead of getting me out of the bath to say "It had lots of words so I didn't read it."
Finally, for those of you who use a loved one's name as a password, against all security advice, LEARN HOW TO SPELL THE FUCKING THING!
Thank you and please leave me the fuck alone.
Subject: Reminder.
Dear all,
Just so we're clear:
1. My mobile phone is my own. I paid for it and I pay the bills. It's not a work phone.
2. My laptop is my own. I paid for that too. It's not a work laptop either. Though every fucker else seems to have one.
3. Likewise my broadband Internet connection at home (another £30 a month I don't claim for) and my home PC.
4. I sometimes use these devices, outside normal office hours, to do important company work, such as when there's an emergency of some kind.
BUT - and this is the important bit - none of this means that you all have any right to call me on my private phone number at all hours whenever you get scared of the magic box that runs on elastic-trickery.
This includes panicking because you immersed it in water or plugged it into the wrong socket because, really, 60 is just the same as 61 isn't it? I don't know why they wasted money labelling these sockets, they're all the same aren't they? Oh look it doesn't work!
In other news, when a box "with lots of writing" appears on the screen you might try reading it instead of getting me out of the bath to say "It had lots of words so I didn't read it."
Finally, for those of you who use a loved one's name as a password, against all security advice, LEARN HOW TO SPELL THE FUCKING THING!
Thank you and please leave me the fuck alone.