the swallow brings a song too hard to follow that no one else can sing
Today. First of all, happy birthday, Mom. I "cooked" breakfast this morning and Jay came over. It was really nice to see him. There's always something comforting in meeting up with old friends. I guess you could say this whole day was a sort of day of slight catching up. I went to a little peer counseling reunion at Ms. Davis' house. It was very chill. I was the oldest person there (y'know besides Ms. Davis) and about ten of us just talked for a good 5 hours or so. Honestly, I didn't want to leave... but I had to because we're cooking dinner for my mom tonight at the Corona house.
Lost. I will admit it. I am oh so terrified with what lies ahead. And it's not that I don't know what to do. It's the fact that I don't really have a solid plan on how to get there. It doesn't stop there. With everything that's going on and NOT going on in my life, I haven't been doing a good job of focusing my energy on ways to get through this so-called life. Sitting in a living room of peer counselors brought back memories. It reminded me of a time where we could just talk and have our "temperature checks." Everyone's growing up and young people are so quick in wanting to grow up. I know I'm a little late in this discovery, but I wish I didn't have to grow up this fast.
Anyone who's around me knows that I wear my heart on my sleeve, but it's hard to articulate what's on the inside. I have so much bottled up inside and after all these years, I've lost the ability to identify my feelings. A simple, "I feel ______ because _____" statement is becoming more and more foreign in my speech. Looking back four years ago, I can see that I haven't really changed. Sure my surroundings, my friends, and some values/morals have changed, but I'm the same person I was four years ago... just with more experiences and more knowledge.
What I really love about Ms. Davis is that she picks up just about everything. Energy. Subtext. I swear she's just like those teachers in inspirational movies, except she's real and better. As I was saying my good-bye's I saved her for last of course as she walked me to the door. The hug she gave me was exactly what I needed and she told me to call her because she could tell something was up. Lately, I've been finding it difficult to let everything out to my family and even my closest friends. It won't hurt to take up Ms. Davis' offer. I need to breathe again.
Lost. I will admit it. I am oh so terrified with what lies ahead. And it's not that I don't know what to do. It's the fact that I don't really have a solid plan on how to get there. It doesn't stop there. With everything that's going on and NOT going on in my life, I haven't been doing a good job of focusing my energy on ways to get through this so-called life. Sitting in a living room of peer counselors brought back memories. It reminded me of a time where we could just talk and have our "temperature checks." Everyone's growing up and young people are so quick in wanting to grow up. I know I'm a little late in this discovery, but I wish I didn't have to grow up this fast.
Anyone who's around me knows that I wear my heart on my sleeve, but it's hard to articulate what's on the inside. I have so much bottled up inside and after all these years, I've lost the ability to identify my feelings. A simple, "I feel ______ because _____" statement is becoming more and more foreign in my speech. Looking back four years ago, I can see that I haven't really changed. Sure my surroundings, my friends, and some values/morals have changed, but I'm the same person I was four years ago... just with more experiences and more knowledge.
What I really love about Ms. Davis is that she picks up just about everything. Energy. Subtext. I swear she's just like those teachers in inspirational movies, except she's real and better. As I was saying my good-bye's I saved her for last of course as she walked me to the door. The hug she gave me was exactly what I needed and she told me to call her because she could tell something was up. Lately, I've been finding it difficult to let everything out to my family and even my closest friends. It won't hurt to take up Ms. Davis' offer. I need to breathe again.