Proverbs 23

Jun 11, 2009 16:12

the cry of my heart continues to burn harder and harder as i get closer and closer to whatever it is the lord wants from my weary soul. this week i have really started thikning about money and school and everything i "need" to be doing. It's like, you're doing something good, but you know it's not right. Last night I told Olive if she got an apartment that i would totally move out with her. I told Maarqqus that I will probably go back to school just for the Pell Grant... if i even am eligible. I researched all of it today. I even told Kenny that i was looking for another job and filled out a starbucks application a few days ago. What am i doing? Do i even know? I know the Lord has a promise for me. I know he is leading me towards something. And then i read an e-mail from Liz today. She is graduating from her DTS tomorrow!!!!! And i'm inspired to say the least... I was reading over her e-mail and looking at the things she has been doing. the things that are going on around the world. there are so many cries of hearts, so many bleeding souls, and i am just living it up here. this is not my purpose. tears come to my eyes. i so desperately want to crawl in my closet and have the Lord hold me. why am i still here? what HAS he promised me? I know there is a promise there, but what is it? Why can't i stay in a place to feel that? I wanna run back. to the promise that i was chasing.
i want to be part of the change. to see the world come into a new light.

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