(no subject)
I think I hate teaching. That's not totally true. I really hate trying to drive things like BEING NICE to each other and not touching things that don't belong to you and respecting yourself and others to people who are supposedly ready to leave high school? Trying to kick my locked door in while I'm with a class because your jacket is in there? It drives me totally insane. Fully, completely 'round the bend.
I don't know how I feel about Halifax today either. When I first got back here I was amazed at how polite and nice everyone was, and now maybe i'm just too tired to notice the good things. I hate how I want to go out tonight, and don't feel like I can safely walk there. I miss walking around my neighborhood in Montreal whenever I wanted to and feeling completely safe. I also miss how I was just as 'alone' there as I am here, but didn't feel it as much. Maybe it's just that in a giant city, there are so many people around all the time that you don't notice that you're mostly by yourself. Also, I felt like I could go out by myself there and it would be fine - I don't feel that here at all.
I never used to be this negative.
Maybe it's all just from my literal run in this morning - I hit my head. I'm cranky. I'm goin' home.
(I walked - quickly - straight into a pole. It's totally bruising).
Home. Nowhere really feels like home. Probably because I never plant my feet in one place long enough.
Run like a racehorse outright madness.
I don't know how I feel about Halifax today either. When I first got back here I was amazed at how polite and nice everyone was, and now maybe i'm just too tired to notice the good things. I hate how I want to go out tonight, and don't feel like I can safely walk there. I miss walking around my neighborhood in Montreal whenever I wanted to and feeling completely safe. I also miss how I was just as 'alone' there as I am here, but didn't feel it as much. Maybe it's just that in a giant city, there are so many people around all the time that you don't notice that you're mostly by yourself. Also, I felt like I could go out by myself there and it would be fine - I don't feel that here at all.
I never used to be this negative.
Maybe it's all just from my literal run in this morning - I hit my head. I'm cranky. I'm goin' home.
(I walked - quickly - straight into a pole. It's totally bruising).
Home. Nowhere really feels like home. Probably because I never plant my feet in one place long enough.
Run like a racehorse outright madness.