(no subject)
I need help. Asap.
I've had problems for years, some problems I've felt too embarrassed really to tell anyone.
No amount of drugs have fixed me, prescription or otherwise. No amount of counseling helped either. I've had blood tests, gap years, vitamin tablets...etc to try and fix myself. But there are certain symptoms that haven't even been improved by any of those. Some have just got worse.
Generally, I feel the depression has improved; my long-term moods are more stable, my headaches have become less frequent, I'm eating normally etc. But the other symptoms seem to be manifesting themselves in more extreme and scary manners each day.
It's got to the extent that I often feel like I'm not in control of my own actions any more, and I worry about what I'm capable of. I feel I need fixing as soon as possible, before I hurt someone or break the law or something. I'm also just generally struggling with everything. Life just seems so incredibly difficult to me right now, and I need help because I can't manage much longer on my own.
It was in trying to search for my symptoms that I found Borderline Personality Disorder.
When I saw the symptoms, it made me feel genuinely quite uncomfortable. It felt like reading an exact description of my thoughts, feelings and behaviour. It was like a perfect description of me. Suddenly everything fitted into place.
I did the test for Borderline from the 'Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders'. A 9-part questionnaire for which you must see your doctor if you score greater than 5. I think I got all 9.
So, I brought it up with my GP, but I didn't feel like I was taken very seriously. She seemed to care and show concern, but think it was just an uninformed guess, or an insignificant aside.
Maybe it's because I've failed to mention some of my symptoms until now (because, until i saw the borderline info, I didn't realise they were symptoms!), and some I still haven't mentioned (out of embarrassment).
Maybe GPs don't know much about specific mental illnesses. In fact, according to the NHS, they generally don't.
Or maybe just the concept of a patient self-diagnosing is too irritating for a doctor to give much notice.
I don't know. But i feel I have all the symptoms, many very badly, and I feel I desperately need help.
I don't care if I don't have borderline, it's just the illness that I, as a non-medical-professional, think sounds like what I have. However, I do feel like I have something. There is something, of some kind, that is making my life become so much more difficult each day that I'm struggling to keep going.
I just don't know how to get myself taken any more seriously, or how to get the help I really need.
But I can't wait much longer.
xxx
I've had problems for years, some problems I've felt too embarrassed really to tell anyone.
No amount of drugs have fixed me, prescription or otherwise. No amount of counseling helped either. I've had blood tests, gap years, vitamin tablets...etc to try and fix myself. But there are certain symptoms that haven't even been improved by any of those. Some have just got worse.
Generally, I feel the depression has improved; my long-term moods are more stable, my headaches have become less frequent, I'm eating normally etc. But the other symptoms seem to be manifesting themselves in more extreme and scary manners each day.
It's got to the extent that I often feel like I'm not in control of my own actions any more, and I worry about what I'm capable of. I feel I need fixing as soon as possible, before I hurt someone or break the law or something. I'm also just generally struggling with everything. Life just seems so incredibly difficult to me right now, and I need help because I can't manage much longer on my own.
It was in trying to search for my symptoms that I found Borderline Personality Disorder.
When I saw the symptoms, it made me feel genuinely quite uncomfortable. It felt like reading an exact description of my thoughts, feelings and behaviour. It was like a perfect description of me. Suddenly everything fitted into place.
I did the test for Borderline from the 'Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders'. A 9-part questionnaire for which you must see your doctor if you score greater than 5. I think I got all 9.
So, I brought it up with my GP, but I didn't feel like I was taken very seriously. She seemed to care and show concern, but think it was just an uninformed guess, or an insignificant aside.
Maybe it's because I've failed to mention some of my symptoms until now (because, until i saw the borderline info, I didn't realise they were symptoms!), and some I still haven't mentioned (out of embarrassment).
Maybe GPs don't know much about specific mental illnesses. In fact, according to the NHS, they generally don't.
Or maybe just the concept of a patient self-diagnosing is too irritating for a doctor to give much notice.
I don't know. But i feel I have all the symptoms, many very badly, and I feel I desperately need help.
I don't care if I don't have borderline, it's just the illness that I, as a non-medical-professional, think sounds like what I have. However, I do feel like I have something. There is something, of some kind, that is making my life become so much more difficult each day that I'm struggling to keep going.
I just don't know how to get myself taken any more seriously, or how to get the help I really need.
But I can't wait much longer.
xxx