Unfinished: Chapter Six
Title: Unfinished
Chapter: Six
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Summary: Sometimes it's not the monsters in the dark you have to be afraid of.
Warnings: Mentions of abuse, rape, torture, and all things nasty.
Number 13 of the Spander FanFic Request List
AN: I'm trying to get back to regular writing, so I'm hoping to finish this and some of my other half-abandoned projects.
When Xander first woke, the feeling of another person was so unusual that it took him several moments to figure out what it was. Trying to move without waking the body beside him took more effort than he had expected however, he eventually managed. Sitting on the side of the bed he took stock of his surroundings. The chains were still on the floor from the night before, and he shivered, feeling cold.
As soon as he recognised one need, several more came rushing at him. His stomach was cramping uncomfortably in hunger and he was desperately thirsty. Making his way to the bathroom was humiliatingly exhausting but eventually he stood, arms braced on the sink. His arms felt like lead and it took him what felt like hours just to turn the tap on. The relieved exhale when he finally managed sounded like a cannon blast and he flinched.
Bending his head to drink from the tap, he wavered when he tried to stand upright again. He was tired, beyond exhausted, but sleep was a necessity he had spent the past he-didn’t-know-how-long learning not to need. The feeling of hunger was forced into the background with practiced ease.
Making his slow way back to the bed he stared at it, and the blond vampire in it. Unneeded breath caught in his throat as he imaged a time when he could just curl up in bed and sleep. Now the idea of lying in a bed filled him with familiar terror. He couldn’t shake the memory of the times he had been given a bed to lie on, and what had followed.
Slumping in the corner, the purr started automatically and he relaxed into it. Not sleeping, but at least resting.
Again he woke up, shifting from asleep to awake with a single blink. He was still on the floor, curled into the corner. But there was a blanket over him and a body wrapped around him. Looking at the vampire who had clearly gotten out of bed to join him, he started when blue eyes looked back.
“I -” He had no idea what he was going to say and relaxed at the sad smile of understanding he got in return.
“The bed is a bit of a monstrosity isn’t it. No wonder you’d rather kip here.” Barely a joke, but enough to hand him back a little of his dignity.
“N-not to mention no one knows what you could catch from D-deadboy.” The comment was flat, completely without the life he would have previously injected into it, and he appreciated the other man’s deliberate ignorance of the tone.
“Get stuck in all that hair gel, no doubt.” Spike agreed, “Dunno about you pet, but I’m starved. Hungry?”
He could feel his stomach clench at the mention of food but shook his head nevertheless, nauseated at the idea of needing to drink blood, no matter how much his body craved it, “No I... No I’m fine. Thank you.”
He both heard and felt the sigh he got in response and flinched slightly.
“You sure? Wouldn’t mind one of those onion blossom things that pathetic excuse for a club had, myself. Reckon Peaches would know a place that delivers ‘em? C’mon we can order pizza and put it on the old man’s tab.”
The offer was so ordinary, so mundane. Without realising it, a tear made its way down his cheek. The blond’s completely unchanged opinion of him tore at his heart, mending something small and broken.
“Yeah,” He had to clear his throat, “Yeah I could go for pizza. Anything to get out of here, I can almost taste the hairspray and mouse.”
He was still so tired, the few hours he’d managed not even close to repairing the amount of time spent with little to no sleep. The blond took it in stride though, wrapping an arm across his shoulders and subtly carrying most of his weight without looking like he was doing more than being friendly. Xander couldn’t say anything without breaking the illusion, but he was intensely grateful.
The lobby was silent when they finally made their way to it and Xander thanked whoever was listening for the small mercy. The blond clearly knew where everything was, leaving his side to ferret out the phone and punching in numbers by memory.
He knew they were both playing make-believe. The pizza wouldn’t stop the hunger he could feel gnawing at his gut. He could masquerade as human; witty banter and a desperate facsimile of life almost pulling it off, but the knotting in his stomach told the truth. No amount of pizza was going to make the ache go away.
Suddenly more tired than he remembered being in a long time he lay down on a convenient couch, eyes closed and two fingers resting on his neck where his pulse would beat, if it still did.
He heard Spike stomp into one of the offices just off the lobby, opening and closing draws in an obvious quest for something. The fluttering against his fingers was almost too soft to feel, but he bolted upright at the gentle sensation, remembering the bathroom incident earlier, his sporadic but there pulse.
Opening his eyes he found the blond standing right in front of him, worry clear on his face.
“Spike, am I alive or dead?” His world kept tilting at strange angles and he wanted some kind of truth to hold onto.
“Near as I can tell, both.”
“I don’t... I don’t understand?” His breath was wheezing out between slack lips unnecessarily, the heartbeat having fallen silence again.
“The Initiative’s screwed you over good and proper, pet."
The memory was painful; a sharp ache like a thumb tack through the ball of his foot being pulled out slowly. He remembered the sounds of machines, rhythmic and constant, and hushed voices speaking over him. He could only understand some of the words and shuddered at the gleeful anticipation in their tones.
“Transfusion.” He mumbled, looking in horror at the concerned vampire standing in front of him. “What am I?”
“You’re a vampire. Or the start of one. You’re just... unfinished.” The words were said gently, as though that would somehow make them easier to swallow.