(no subject)
This post started out several hours ago as a list of complaints. Or, rather, a recounting of all the shitty ways that patrons were shits to me yesterday.
Everyone has their off days though, and it’s not exactly the patrons’ fault that they all decided that they were going to be shitty to me on the same day.
There were, however, two patrons in particular who deserve nothing but contempt for their arrogance. Not just towards me, but more importantly with respect to the other patrons. I don’t simply mean that they tried to monopolize my time either, because that’s also a little understandable - it’s not uniquely any single patron’s fault that the library does not have enough staff to help everyone properly.
No, I mean the guys - and yes, they do seem to usually be guys - who act like being polite is all about smiles and tone, and has nothing to do with content or actions. Who smile while the treat me condescendingly. Who mansplain to me and then ask me to bend the rules for them in ways that inconvenience other patrons. Who cheerfully interrupt me as I am helping other people; not because they want to be helped first, but because they have decided that they can do my job better than I can. Despite all the overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
I will spare you lengthy story of the guy who claims to know everything ever about computers but can’t manage to watch the timer to keep track of when his session will end. Or, more importantly, can’t understand (or claims not to understand) that sometimes it’s other people’s turn to use that computer and yes, asking to use some of their time because you couldn’t be bothered to save your work before your turn ran out is really fucking rude. I don't care that you bother to smile when you ask. Especially when this is not the first time this has happened.
Just trust me when I say that’s only the tip of the iceberg.
No, today I am going to tell you about the guy who was so wrong that even he realized afterwards that he needed to apologize. But was still such a douchebag that his not-really-an-apology consisted of telling me that he didn’t mean to imply that my job was obsolete - people still need help finding books!
The scene:
Me behind the desk.
Quite adorable and articulate middle schooler in front of me, asking questions about parachutes and fluoride as part of doing background research for her (and her sister’s) science fair projects.
Older, professionally dressed gentleman off to my right, waiting for his turn to be helped.
We don’t have any books specifically about parachutes, of course, so I give the Dewey numbers of related topics. We have moved onto fluoride and teeth and into the part of the conversation where I explain that what she is looking for isn’t going to be in a single book. She is going to need to gather information from several sources and put it all together.
This is something I regularly have to do with kids looking for background information for science fair projects. They think that - just like we have books on “bats” and “Einstein” - we have books that are specifically and entirely about, oh, say, what kind of an affect fluoride might have on teeth. That their best bet is to get several books, some about chemistry and some about human anatomy. It can be a tricky conversation, because to the kids it can sound rather like you are telling them you can’t help them, when really you are helping them, just in a way that’s going to require more work on their part that they initially expected - yet leave them that much more prepared to one day be informed adults. However, it’s a discussion that I’ve had dozens - hundreds? - of times before, so it’s not like I don’t know what I am doing.
As I was saying, right when I am at the trickiest bit - the part where I say we don't have entire books on that specific topic - Mr. Not!Helpful interjects “look it up on youtube!”
I’m understandably shocked speechless and just sorta *look* at him. And then continue on doing the job I have spent countless hours being trained to do.
But Mr. Not!Helpful is oblivious to all this and continues raving about the wonders of youtube. And google, of course. He consistently makes it extremely hard for me to continue having this fairly delicate and extremely important conversation with someone who is not him.
But don't worry, he's smiling the entire time! So it's all totally polite, yes?
* facepalm *
Which is what brings me to my question(s) of the day:
What the fuck is it with older men and the way that women - especially ones younger than them - having a conversation about science screams out to them: “help us! we can’t possibly know what we are talking about!” Despite the fact that their knowledge of the subject is clearly less than nothing.
(Youtube? For scientific information? About a chemical that is added to tapwater? Are you fucking shitting me?)
Even more so, though, what the fuck is it with these men and their belief that their desire to do whatever the fuck it is they want to do, to share whatever the fuck it is they want to share, is sooo important that not only I but also other patrons must give way so that they can?
Jackass, I am not the main person you should be apologizing to.
Everyone has their off days though, and it’s not exactly the patrons’ fault that they all decided that they were going to be shitty to me on the same day.
There were, however, two patrons in particular who deserve nothing but contempt for their arrogance. Not just towards me, but more importantly with respect to the other patrons. I don’t simply mean that they tried to monopolize my time either, because that’s also a little understandable - it’s not uniquely any single patron’s fault that the library does not have enough staff to help everyone properly.
No, I mean the guys - and yes, they do seem to usually be guys - who act like being polite is all about smiles and tone, and has nothing to do with content or actions. Who smile while the treat me condescendingly. Who mansplain to me and then ask me to bend the rules for them in ways that inconvenience other patrons. Who cheerfully interrupt me as I am helping other people; not because they want to be helped first, but because they have decided that they can do my job better than I can. Despite all the overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
I will spare you lengthy story of the guy who claims to know everything ever about computers but can’t manage to watch the timer to keep track of when his session will end. Or, more importantly, can’t understand (or claims not to understand) that sometimes it’s other people’s turn to use that computer and yes, asking to use some of their time because you couldn’t be bothered to save your work before your turn ran out is really fucking rude. I don't care that you bother to smile when you ask. Especially when this is not the first time this has happened.
Just trust me when I say that’s only the tip of the iceberg.
No, today I am going to tell you about the guy who was so wrong that even he realized afterwards that he needed to apologize. But was still such a douchebag that his not-really-an-apology consisted of telling me that he didn’t mean to imply that my job was obsolete - people still need help finding books!
The scene:
Me behind the desk.
Quite adorable and articulate middle schooler in front of me, asking questions about parachutes and fluoride as part of doing background research for her (and her sister’s) science fair projects.
Older, professionally dressed gentleman off to my right, waiting for his turn to be helped.
We don’t have any books specifically about parachutes, of course, so I give the Dewey numbers of related topics. We have moved onto fluoride and teeth and into the part of the conversation where I explain that what she is looking for isn’t going to be in a single book. She is going to need to gather information from several sources and put it all together.
This is something I regularly have to do with kids looking for background information for science fair projects. They think that - just like we have books on “bats” and “Einstein” - we have books that are specifically and entirely about, oh, say, what kind of an affect fluoride might have on teeth. That their best bet is to get several books, some about chemistry and some about human anatomy. It can be a tricky conversation, because to the kids it can sound rather like you are telling them you can’t help them, when really you are helping them, just in a way that’s going to require more work on their part that they initially expected - yet leave them that much more prepared to one day be informed adults. However, it’s a discussion that I’ve had dozens - hundreds? - of times before, so it’s not like I don’t know what I am doing.
As I was saying, right when I am at the trickiest bit - the part where I say we don't have entire books on that specific topic - Mr. Not!Helpful interjects “look it up on youtube!”
I’m understandably shocked speechless and just sorta *look* at him. And then continue on doing the job I have spent countless hours being trained to do.
But Mr. Not!Helpful is oblivious to all this and continues raving about the wonders of youtube. And google, of course. He consistently makes it extremely hard for me to continue having this fairly delicate and extremely important conversation with someone who is not him.
But don't worry, he's smiling the entire time! So it's all totally polite, yes?
* facepalm *
Which is what brings me to my question(s) of the day:
What the fuck is it with older men and the way that women - especially ones younger than them - having a conversation about science screams out to them: “help us! we can’t possibly know what we are talking about!” Despite the fact that their knowledge of the subject is clearly less than nothing.
(Youtube? For scientific information? About a chemical that is added to tapwater? Are you fucking shitting me?)
Even more so, though, what the fuck is it with these men and their belief that their desire to do whatever the fuck it is they want to do, to share whatever the fuck it is they want to share, is sooo important that not only I but also other patrons must give way so that they can?
Jackass, I am not the main person you should be apologizing to.