I wish
I'm having a really hard time with this breakup.... it's probably the break up that has hit me hardest. I guess cause most every break up I was in control of and this time I'm not
I really wish he would give me time to heal before he marrys her but thats not going to happen he already has the ring. I really wish that he understood that I am hurting that he keeps stabbing me in the back and it's not okay. He keeps making further promises and I'm about to say goodbye forever. I can't deal with him I can't deal with him being so happy and me being so sad. All he can say is I'll meet someone I don't want to f'in meet someone I wanted to meet him..... but I never met the true him..... I didn't find out the truth I was fed a line of lies one after the other with the last one being.... I got you a christmas present too. Why don't I trust that because everything else has been a lie. Im hurt a lot probably more then I ever have been becuase this is the first time that I'm considering in my entire life of ending an entire friendship. On top of all of this I'm sick in a way I can't explain on here because it's much too personal. I need to live each day but they pain is still there I thought it was gone but when I saw him its like I was stabbed deeper and harder this time. I thought I was done with this pain but I was done with the first stage of pain. I guess as you get older it gets harder and harder to lose a love maybe becuase you start to feel hopeless like you are unloved and will continue to be that way. That no one will want you for eternity in this shape........... thats how I feel. How can anyone love me when I don't love myself?
I really wish he would give me time to heal before he marrys her but thats not going to happen he already has the ring. I really wish that he understood that I am hurting that he keeps stabbing me in the back and it's not okay. He keeps making further promises and I'm about to say goodbye forever. I can't deal with him I can't deal with him being so happy and me being so sad. All he can say is I'll meet someone I don't want to f'in meet someone I wanted to meet him..... but I never met the true him..... I didn't find out the truth I was fed a line of lies one after the other with the last one being.... I got you a christmas present too. Why don't I trust that because everything else has been a lie. Im hurt a lot probably more then I ever have been becuase this is the first time that I'm considering in my entire life of ending an entire friendship. On top of all of this I'm sick in a way I can't explain on here because it's much too personal. I need to live each day but they pain is still there I thought it was gone but when I saw him its like I was stabbed deeper and harder this time. I thought I was done with this pain but I was done with the first stage of pain. I guess as you get older it gets harder and harder to lose a love maybe becuase you start to feel hopeless like you are unloved and will continue to be that way. That no one will want you for eternity in this shape........... thats how I feel. How can anyone love me when I don't love myself?