Dame Edna and Arthur's Tasty Girlfriends (PG-13)
Title: Dame Edna and Arthur's Tasty Girlfriends
Author: Jenny Starseed
Rating: PG-13
Character(s): Martin, Douglas, Arthur
Summary: Douglas lost a game of poker last night and he now has to wear a dress. And we learn a thing or two about Arthur's Girlfriends. Martin is typically mortified.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 417 words
Author's Notes: Another early dialogue fic written for a Cabin Pressure Prompt that asked for Douglas dressed in drag.
I don't own any of the characters. They all belong to Mr. John Finnemore. Unbeta-ed and unbrit-picked.
Douglas: Don't say a thing.
Martin: Dear god Douglas, you look quite smashing today. What's the occasion?
Douglas: No occasion. I like to put on a prink frock for jollies.
Martin: Is that so? Going on a date, anyone I should know?
Douglas: No, no one.
Martin: Seriously Douglas, why?
Douglas: Take it from me, Martin, NEVER EVER play poker with the chaps from the fire hall.
Martin: Poker? Don't you play that game for money?
Douglas: Normally, yes you do. Except when you play double-reverse strip poker.
Martin: Double reverse strip poker?
Douglas: Yes, it's like regular strip poker, except for every piece of clothing you lose, you have to put on a piece of women's clothing. The last one who folds has to dress in drag for a week.
Martin: What? And you chose to dress like Dame Edna for the rest of the week.
Douglas: Yes, I chose to dress like Dame Edna in a Fitton production of La Cage Aux Folles. It’s been a lifelong ambition of mine, but alas, being first officer to sir is the only thing that pays the bills. A girl has to eat you know.
Martin: Couldn’t you just take off the dress when we’re in the air?
Douglas: No. In case you forgot, we’re on standby for a week. Just my luck. Now excuse me, Dame Edna has to pull up her stockings and freshen her make-up...damn these heels!
*whooshes by dramatically by Arthur as Arthur walks into the portacabin*
Arthur: Skip, who was that? Lovely looking woman, reminds me of one of my old girlfriends, Geraldine. One of my squishier girlfriends with brilliant legs.
Martin: Oh dear God, why do I have to keep learning unsavoury things about my co-workers this week?
Arthur: Unsavoury? Skip, I’ll have you know Geraldine was very savoury, she tasted like cherry cough-syrup all over.
Martin: AHHH!!!! (Martin puts his head in his hands)
Arthur: Now that I think of it, cherry cough syrup is more sweet than savoury. I'm mixing her up with Abigail, now she tasted like turkey with stuffing and she did this brilliant thing with her toes during sex. Now that’s savoury.
Martin: OK! That’s it! I’m leaving before I have to scrub my ears out with bleach.
Arthur: Skip! Where are you going! Skip? Remember, mom said the lock to the door of the private loo is broken!
Martin: GAH!
Arthur: Martin?! What does a Dame Edna have to do to have some privacy to fix her stockings? I see why God had invented garter belts.
Author: Jenny Starseed
Rating: PG-13
Character(s): Martin, Douglas, Arthur
Summary: Douglas lost a game of poker last night and he now has to wear a dress. And we learn a thing or two about Arthur's Girlfriends. Martin is typically mortified.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 417 words
Author's Notes: Another early dialogue fic written for a Cabin Pressure Prompt that asked for Douglas dressed in drag.
I don't own any of the characters. They all belong to Mr. John Finnemore. Unbeta-ed and unbrit-picked.
Douglas: Don't say a thing.
Martin: Dear god Douglas, you look quite smashing today. What's the occasion?
Douglas: No occasion. I like to put on a prink frock for jollies.
Martin: Is that so? Going on a date, anyone I should know?
Douglas: No, no one.
Martin: Seriously Douglas, why?
Douglas: Take it from me, Martin, NEVER EVER play poker with the chaps from the fire hall.
Martin: Poker? Don't you play that game for money?
Douglas: Normally, yes you do. Except when you play double-reverse strip poker.
Martin: Double reverse strip poker?
Douglas: Yes, it's like regular strip poker, except for every piece of clothing you lose, you have to put on a piece of women's clothing. The last one who folds has to dress in drag for a week.
Martin: What? And you chose to dress like Dame Edna for the rest of the week.
Douglas: Yes, I chose to dress like Dame Edna in a Fitton production of La Cage Aux Folles. It’s been a lifelong ambition of mine, but alas, being first officer to sir is the only thing that pays the bills. A girl has to eat you know.
Martin: Couldn’t you just take off the dress when we’re in the air?
Douglas: No. In case you forgot, we’re on standby for a week. Just my luck. Now excuse me, Dame Edna has to pull up her stockings and freshen her make-up...damn these heels!
*whooshes by dramatically by Arthur as Arthur walks into the portacabin*
Arthur: Skip, who was that? Lovely looking woman, reminds me of one of my old girlfriends, Geraldine. One of my squishier girlfriends with brilliant legs.
Martin: Oh dear God, why do I have to keep learning unsavoury things about my co-workers this week?
Arthur: Unsavoury? Skip, I’ll have you know Geraldine was very savoury, she tasted like cherry cough-syrup all over.
Martin: AHHH!!!! (Martin puts his head in his hands)
Arthur: Now that I think of it, cherry cough syrup is more sweet than savoury. I'm mixing her up with Abigail, now she tasted like turkey with stuffing and she did this brilliant thing with her toes during sex. Now that’s savoury.
Martin: OK! That’s it! I’m leaving before I have to scrub my ears out with bleach.
Arthur: Skip! Where are you going! Skip? Remember, mom said the lock to the door of the private loo is broken!
Martin: GAH!
Arthur: Martin?! What does a Dame Edna have to do to have some privacy to fix her stockings? I see why God had invented garter belts.