(no subject)
Now I can date men and they can try to persuade me. They can try to convince me of their sincerity, day after day their persistence scraping away at the doubt and skepticism
that remains in my head, traces of which appear on the smallest wrinkles forming around my lips and my eyes and, God, my voice,
even I can hear it in my voice, the sadness and the hesitation, the this hurts me, too, you know. I loved you, and I'm sorry, and good-bye. Yes, they can certainly try.
But I know what it is I want, I've thought about it. I've thought about it at length, because this occupies a great deal of my mind in the evenings
as I walk alone through the city park, during those intervals when I'm not giving it another go. I know how I will know.
Perhaps I watch too many movies. (When I'm not walking alone at night, there are certainly movies to occupy my time.) I want a man who will run in on my wedding and stop me from saying I do. I want a man who will burst down the doors of the church,
and sweep me off of my feet.
This is the only way, I'm sure of it. Of course, this is the part that presents a bit of a problem. I can't very well get to the point without a man to marry. And
I can't marry a man unless he can prove his love by bursting down the church doors, which really leaves me a tough position, doesn't it? Would some man agree to marry me
if I told him my reasons - that I need someone to marry, just to see who comes crashing in to stop the wedding? What if no one does come crashing in,
hell, I would feel pretty silly, then, wouldn't I? What if the man I decide to have this wedding with is the man
who would have chosen to crash into my wedding?
I continue this line of thinking as I walk on home, to feed Frances and Fluffs who are certainly missing my company.
that remains in my head, traces of which appear on the smallest wrinkles forming around my lips and my eyes and, God, my voice,
even I can hear it in my voice, the sadness and the hesitation, the this hurts me, too, you know. I loved you, and I'm sorry, and good-bye. Yes, they can certainly try.
But I know what it is I want, I've thought about it. I've thought about it at length, because this occupies a great deal of my mind in the evenings
as I walk alone through the city park, during those intervals when I'm not giving it another go. I know how I will know.
Perhaps I watch too many movies. (When I'm not walking alone at night, there are certainly movies to occupy my time.) I want a man who will run in on my wedding and stop me from saying I do. I want a man who will burst down the doors of the church,
and sweep me off of my feet.
This is the only way, I'm sure of it. Of course, this is the part that presents a bit of a problem. I can't very well get to the point without a man to marry. And
I can't marry a man unless he can prove his love by bursting down the church doors, which really leaves me a tough position, doesn't it? Would some man agree to marry me
if I told him my reasons - that I need someone to marry, just to see who comes crashing in to stop the wedding? What if no one does come crashing in,
hell, I would feel pretty silly, then, wouldn't I? What if the man I decide to have this wedding with is the man
who would have chosen to crash into my wedding?
I continue this line of thinking as I walk on home, to feed Frances and Fluffs who are certainly missing my company.