Ups and downs
I love my twin brother. He knows exactly what to say and how to say it at any point in time. I am so blessed to have him in my life and for him to love me enough to come home two days early to be with me during this time. He's going to come with us this afternoon to bury Charlotte.
It's been stormy all day, very appropriate for my mood.
I went to work this morning, it went a lot better. Thomas informed everyone that I didn't want to be talked to about the baby and to just act normal, so we all did. He gave me a hard time about a high calorie breakfast, then proceeded to replace my Twinkie with a bran muffin when I went to Sandra's office. He acted like his normal perfect self today and we had a good morning. We went to Alesis for lunch and he paid and let rme drive. Wow! Now I'm at home looking at my filthy house and trying to decide what to do. I've done a load of laundry, and that's as far as I'e gotten. The boys emptied the bookshelf, AGAIN, and I'm summoning up the energy to handle that.
Jayden has made it his mission to keep me busy and distracted, which is what I want and need, and he's doing a great job. I do believe we'll be going to having some sort of adult beverage before all is said and done. I'm not sure if I'll feel like doing anything after the graveyard. I'm not ready for this yet. I've decided to pack Charlotte's things and put them in our storage shed with the rest of the kids' stuff that we've saved instead of donating it. I may change my mind later, but I don't wan tto part with them yet. I'm also working on a memory book for her like the ones we have for the other children, we'll put the u/s pics and her picture, as well as the customary letter and thoughts/feelings record. It'll be remarkably shorter, but she deserves to have one just like her siblings.
On the flip side, I think I feel like cooking dinner tonight, so I'm sure the family will be overjoyed and McDonalds devastated.