(no subject)
Sorry for the quietness over here. It was not for the lack of things to say just the will and ability to say them. Apologies in advance for the lack of chronological structure to this post.
Losing Maxx has been hard on me and has somewhat spiraled me headlong into a bit of a depression. I knew losing him would devastate me and I knew I was unprepared to deal with the loss. Then I realized Maxx was the closest person (he may have manifested in a cat body but as far as he was concerned he was a person and that is good enough for me) that I have ever lost. So its been rough.
Last saturday we got his ashes back from the vet. They are in a nice wooden box with a floral relief on the lid and a gold plate with his name on it. Since when I am at home I spend most of my time on the computer I put him on my desk next to the monitor. Tim sent me out that day for some therapeutic shopping (which I started the night before, but that will come later) I always joked with Maxx that I couldn't live with myself if he wasn't comfortable, which often left me sitting and sleeping in odd positions. Feeling the loss of orange in my everyday life, I picked up an orange scarf, some candles, flowers and picture frames that day to make Maxx comfortable again. It helped in an odd way. I mean I still miss him like crazy, but it helped me find some peace in all of this.
I've managed to go almost two full days without crying, but only then do I realize how depressed I am. Tim is doing all he can to cheer me up. I've been trying to absorb myself in anything that can capture my attention for a long amount of time. Everyone has been so supportive and I can't tell you all how much your words meant to me. And special thanks to Matt & Kaci and Chaim and Cezanne for the thoughtful cards they sent us.
Thanksgiving was ok. We went to my parents for a little while. She gave me some pictures she had of Maxx. Then we went to dinner at Tim's parents house and dragged Valerini along for the Allen Family Experience, which always requires considerable amounts of wine.
Last Friday, we met up with some old junior high friends of Tim's in South Philly. Much to my surprise and due to the fact that I am forgetful, his friend Anna has an amazing store on Passyunk Ave right off Tasker St. Its called Ballroom to Bedroom... The clothing and jewelry are all new clothing based on vintage designs... Tim bought me two gorgeous necklaces there. This store is one of the greatest hidden treasures in Philadelphia. I made a mental note that I have to take Valerie, Kat and Kim there...and anyone else who loves fine fashion with a vintage flair. The prices arent too bad either.
Last night we went down to Baltimore to meet up with one of our second life friends who is moving the england next week. It was very cool to meet her. We had a mellow night in some weird place south of baltimore. of course all of maryland, dc and virginia are weird. unless you are in their metro areas. On the way back we popped by microcenter and Tim got me one of those pen and pad attachments for the computer since i use photoshop alot.
Tonight is the Pixies show. I should probably get dressed soon. I think we might have to pop by his office's holiday party afterward. YUCK.
We've been trying to figure out what to do festivas wise...since we originally were planning on having it next week, but I don't think I am quite up for it, plus we haven't planned on anything. As much as i love festivas, i think right now listening to everyone bitch about petty shit or the state of this country would just annoy me. I find that i just dont care about that stuff right now. bush is president so fucking what. you know what I mean? What i proposed to Tim in the car on the way home was possibly combining festivas and new years into one thing. we shall see. I'm just not in the mood to celebrate anything right now. and i am having a hard time coping with the holiday shit spewed everywhere.
thats all for now
Losing Maxx has been hard on me and has somewhat spiraled me headlong into a bit of a depression. I knew losing him would devastate me and I knew I was unprepared to deal with the loss. Then I realized Maxx was the closest person (he may have manifested in a cat body but as far as he was concerned he was a person and that is good enough for me) that I have ever lost. So its been rough.
Last saturday we got his ashes back from the vet. They are in a nice wooden box with a floral relief on the lid and a gold plate with his name on it. Since when I am at home I spend most of my time on the computer I put him on my desk next to the monitor. Tim sent me out that day for some therapeutic shopping (which I started the night before, but that will come later) I always joked with Maxx that I couldn't live with myself if he wasn't comfortable, which often left me sitting and sleeping in odd positions. Feeling the loss of orange in my everyday life, I picked up an orange scarf, some candles, flowers and picture frames that day to make Maxx comfortable again. It helped in an odd way. I mean I still miss him like crazy, but it helped me find some peace in all of this.
I've managed to go almost two full days without crying, but only then do I realize how depressed I am. Tim is doing all he can to cheer me up. I've been trying to absorb myself in anything that can capture my attention for a long amount of time. Everyone has been so supportive and I can't tell you all how much your words meant to me. And special thanks to Matt & Kaci and Chaim and Cezanne for the thoughtful cards they sent us.
Thanksgiving was ok. We went to my parents for a little while. She gave me some pictures she had of Maxx. Then we went to dinner at Tim's parents house and dragged Valerini along for the Allen Family Experience, which always requires considerable amounts of wine.
Last Friday, we met up with some old junior high friends of Tim's in South Philly. Much to my surprise and due to the fact that I am forgetful, his friend Anna has an amazing store on Passyunk Ave right off Tasker St. Its called Ballroom to Bedroom... The clothing and jewelry are all new clothing based on vintage designs... Tim bought me two gorgeous necklaces there. This store is one of the greatest hidden treasures in Philadelphia. I made a mental note that I have to take Valerie, Kat and Kim there...and anyone else who loves fine fashion with a vintage flair. The prices arent too bad either.
Last night we went down to Baltimore to meet up with one of our second life friends who is moving the england next week. It was very cool to meet her. We had a mellow night in some weird place south of baltimore. of course all of maryland, dc and virginia are weird. unless you are in their metro areas. On the way back we popped by microcenter and Tim got me one of those pen and pad attachments for the computer since i use photoshop alot.
Tonight is the Pixies show. I should probably get dressed soon. I think we might have to pop by his office's holiday party afterward. YUCK.
We've been trying to figure out what to do festivas wise...since we originally were planning on having it next week, but I don't think I am quite up for it, plus we haven't planned on anything. As much as i love festivas, i think right now listening to everyone bitch about petty shit or the state of this country would just annoy me. I find that i just dont care about that stuff right now. bush is president so fucking what. you know what I mean? What i proposed to Tim in the car on the way home was possibly combining festivas and new years into one thing. we shall see. I'm just not in the mood to celebrate anything right now. and i am having a hard time coping with the holiday shit spewed everywhere.
thats all for now