(no subject)
sometimes i wonder why people try to change something when its said and done. why do you keep poking at it when its at your satisfaction? why do you try to change something thats in your favor. its all my fault now. great. im the source for peoples misery and now everyone thinks im a huge bitch. welll guess what fuckers?! if you didnt want things to change why did you try to change it. now what i think is wrong and i face the scrutiny. i guess now i know what it feels like to have other people try to make you happy when they know its going to make themselves unhappy in the end. now i dont care if im the fucking enemy. i would be either way wouldnt i? yeah whatever, this is bullshit. i know a lot more than they think.
i love krissie, she is basically my only outlet on life. i haven't seen lauren in a ridiculous amount of time cause shes sick. and i havent seen missy or tiff eitherr. i only really see krissie and not that i mind at all, but i miss november. she knows what i mean. the big group parties and sleepovers and shit. i just am in such a shitty mood because im always trying to make other people happy, and especially now that its something so intense, and i kinda wanna do something for myself, i already am treated like the enemy. i guess i kinda spoiled the other people into thinking that i'll ALWAYS be there to be stepped on and i will always have to suffer and sacrifice to make them happy, and when i wanna do something for myself its wrong. fuck christmas, fuck november, fuck you, and fuck cystic fibrosis. i hate it all.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i love krissie, she is basically my only outlet on life. i haven't seen lauren in a ridiculous amount of time cause shes sick. and i havent seen missy or tiff eitherr. i only really see krissie and not that i mind at all, but i miss november. she knows what i mean. the big group parties and sleepovers and shit. i just am in such a shitty mood because im always trying to make other people happy, and especially now that its something so intense, and i kinda wanna do something for myself, i already am treated like the enemy. i guess i kinda spoiled the other people into thinking that i'll ALWAYS be there to be stepped on and i will always have to suffer and sacrifice to make them happy, and when i wanna do something for myself its wrong. fuck christmas, fuck november, fuck you, and fuck cystic fibrosis. i hate it all.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh