How Do You Mend A Broken Heart????
All I have to say is this: I hope you are happy with what you have managed to do to me... I never did anything to hurt you, and yet you see fit to lie to me, hide things from me, and even hide things from the family. You are not the person I thought you were... I'm not sure who you are. I do know that the person you are showing yourself to be is not someone that I want to spend my life with. Oh, and just so you can't go using this as an excuse, it has nothing to do with your "condition" as it were. I was ready and willing to do whatever I needed to in order to help you in everyway possible... and I wanted to be there for you through it all. The thing I don't understand the most though, is why you would choose to do this when you know that we would have been happy... You said yourself that you loved me and yet you chose to throw it all away. I told you when you first said that you loved me that I could not tell someone I loved them very easily. You knew how hard that was for me, and despite that, I gave you my heart... gift wrapped with a bow and all... and what did you do? You ripped it out and squeezed it dry like I was nothing more to you than a piece of garbage. Well , I am telling you right now that I am not a toy and I will not be played with as such. I was willing to give this a chance, and you chose to turn and walk away screaming "FUCK YOU!!!!" as you went. So thank you for reminding me just why I won't tell anyone I date that I love them... it was about time for me to get a reality check again... I wasn't fucked up anough as it was. I just cannot believe that after all we went through to get to where we were that you could just blow it off and decide that you would rather lie to me than face the consequences of your actions. You know what that says to me? That you are still running from everything.... have you even told your parents yet? I'm guessing not. You need to realize that you CANNOT run forever. Eventually, everything that you have tried to avoid will catch up to you, and there will not be the people there that you want/need to help you through it. On top of that, you cannot run from the one thing you obviously fear the most... yourself. You still have to see that which you fear everytime you look in the mirror; and maybe, just maybe, if you took the time to look in the mirror and really do some searching, you would find that if you would stop hurting the ones that love you the most, you would actually be truly happy. On the other hand, you could continue on your current path and keep destroying the trust that people have in you. In that case, you are much more likely to wake up one day and find that you have hurt so many people, and that a lot of the people that try SO hard to help you are not there. That may seem mean, but its the truth. You push everyone away from you except the ones that have proven over and over that they will take advantage of you, treat you like shit, and whatever else it takes to ensure they have a hold over you. You say over and over that you aren't going to let that happen anymore, but where is the proof of that? Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words. Just remember that.