Friends
Its been an interesting week...should have, shouldnt have...doesnt matter, ive done what ive done and i cant go back on it. Why do people think they understand...guess what, no one can see exactly whats in my head unless I tell them. I just really wish people wouldn't assume what was going on with me before they try to understand, maybe then they would realize that I am not a terrible cling-on and have the capacity for friendship. I'm not that selfish, and anyone that thinks I am obviously doesn't know me very well.
Regardless, it doesn't matter. I only have a few months with these people and I want to make the best of it. I will always feel what I'm going to feel but why should I let them completely control me? I just wish people would stop looking at me through the lens of an assumption. Do I still have feelings, yea...will I have glimpses of jealousy, yea...but for the last two years I have been nothing but a friend...that is all I want, and I would never want to lose that. Because I am a friend, I want my friends to be happy above everything else, and therefore my greatest worry and concern will always be if I think this person's happiness is in jeopardy.
It is just frustrating when people act as though they know better...are people really so arrogant to think that they know what is best for me...there is a fine line between constructive input and rash statements that will make my emotions boil way more than they should...I dont need your help being emotional. There is a such thing as an over-obsession with drama...especially when it hurts people, and if you'll pick feeding drama over being my friend, then maybe YOU have to reevaluate. I want to be friends, but I'm not going to fight for it.
Anyways, it is bittersweet that I am starting work this week. At least now I will have money, AND i get full time hours for training, yay!!! I just want to thank the friends I have...despite the drama, its pretty awesome.
Regardless, it doesn't matter. I only have a few months with these people and I want to make the best of it. I will always feel what I'm going to feel but why should I let them completely control me? I just wish people would stop looking at me through the lens of an assumption. Do I still have feelings, yea...will I have glimpses of jealousy, yea...but for the last two years I have been nothing but a friend...that is all I want, and I would never want to lose that. Because I am a friend, I want my friends to be happy above everything else, and therefore my greatest worry and concern will always be if I think this person's happiness is in jeopardy.
It is just frustrating when people act as though they know better...are people really so arrogant to think that they know what is best for me...there is a fine line between constructive input and rash statements that will make my emotions boil way more than they should...I dont need your help being emotional. There is a such thing as an over-obsession with drama...especially when it hurts people, and if you'll pick feeding drama over being my friend, then maybe YOU have to reevaluate. I want to be friends, but I'm not going to fight for it.
Anyways, it is bittersweet that I am starting work this week. At least now I will have money, AND i get full time hours for training, yay!!! I just want to thank the friends I have...despite the drama, its pretty awesome.