Venting a little bit
Okay... I seriously need to take deep breaths right now. I really feel like exploding right now. I have to rant somewhere because I can't take this and there isn't anyone that I really think I can tell. Plus, I'm taking it out on my little brother and I need to get it out before I break down. And I refuse to let people know that this is bothering me..
All right. There is this thing that I just found out about, really pathetic of me actually, but it is pissing me off. I have been waiting for this thing for so long and now I am not going to be able to enjoy it with all my friends. I really hate how much it's bothering me. But I can't help it. I feel like everyone, besides my one best friend thank god, is separated. This something that I wanted to do all together, and now its ruined. And it might be ridiculous, but I can't help but feel like it was more important for them to have them all together than me in their group. And I absolutely hate feeling unimportant. I'm sick of it!! What would happen if I just dissapeared from their, certain people's, lives? Sometimes, I feel like they wouldn't care. As much as I know how crazy it is for me to be so much like this over something this small, I can't stop myself at all from feeling this way... But I am trying my hardest to control the one thing I am capable of controlling; showing how I feel. As long as I have somewhere to vent, I should be able to do it. I feel like I have to change myself to get people to care about me.. I don't know, it's wierd. Like always.. I always talk about the same things and I harp about the same things over and over again.. I'm such a boring person. I think I need to change... What am I going to do?
This is not everything that I wanted to get out, but I have said enough to calm myself down a bit. Probably write more later.