(no subject)
There's so many things I want to tell him but ... I don't want to ruin things.
There's so many things I want to question but ... I don't want to ruin things.
There's so many things I want to say to him but ... I just don't want to ruin things.
I'm quite content how things are right now but they're going to change.
I know that. He knows that. Everyone knows that. But....
I don't want to believe it.
I want to keep on thinking that I will no longer be *the other girl* and one day...
Be the *only girl*.
I need to see him.
I need to either see if things would really work out of if he will hate me as suspected.
I need to feel him.
I need to feel his arms around me and see if I feel as safe and I think I will.
I need to be with him.
I need to wake up next to him, spend a whole day with him and see if everything I think about him is true.
I need to believe him.
I need to hear the words that he types and decipher if they are lies or not.
After I got hurt the first time, I promised myself I wouldn't fall into this again.
And I did. I broke a promise to myself. Sometimes I feel like it was a good choice to fall for him all over again and then other days... I want to kick myself for being so stupid