(no subject)

[jennitals55]

Tuesday night I drank vodka for the last time. I can't even remember giving the guy at the door my i.d. I blacked out before I even got to the bar. thats pretty scary. I worked a double on wednesday and it was miserable. from what I hear, I threw up alot after we left the bar but when I woke up on wednesday, (on allie's couch, still in my clothes with shoes on) I still had to throw up. and when I got to work I had to throw up again. ugh! never drinking vodka again.

anyway, I want to find my biological mother really bad. I registered but she isnt registered so I dont know what to do. If anyone knows a private investigator, ask them what I can do cuz I dont even know where to start. I dont know her name but I know she lives in Pensacola and that she used to live in Madisonville. . . and that I was born in Madisonville.

oh, and if ever anyone feels like visiting me at smoothie king in lakeside, I work monday during the day and wed and friday nights. I'll give u a smoothie but u have to stay and talk to me for at least 5 minutes.

I never really wanted you to see
the screwed up side of me that I keep
locked inside of me so deep
it always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
so many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold.