I thought it is a drabble that inspired by the song "How am I supposed to live without you: but it e

Sep 04, 2009 20:27

Title: How Am I supposed to Live Without You

Author:jennishi

Genre: Romance

Summary: Kame and Jin is having a good relationship until Jin drops a bomb that killed Kame.....what would happen to them.....

Thursday morning:

Kame is so happy going to work today with a special reason. Jin made him special last night. Actually Jin made him happy everyday and every night since they were together even if their love was hidden to everybody. But last night is so different. He made love to him like no other, so today his body is emitting a very different glow that any person that he met will feel. No one knew that he is now leaving with Jin in his apartment. But he still keeps his apartment for them to continue their secret affair. Like any other day he and Jin are going to the Jimusho individually to prevent any suspicions of who they really are to each other. At first they are so close that’s why their senpai’s especially Taki called them “Akakame” but because they started to work individually after Gokusen and Kame being partnered to Pi their closeness seemed to fade. Rumors spread that the two started to have heated arguments all the time they are together but none of them know the real score when they are @ their own home. And like any other day he reached the agency first and immediately go to the group’s dressing room. Then one by one ATTUN arrived and same as always Jin is the last one to arrive. Like always Jin went to the corner opposite Kame and Koki. He went together with the loud crowd which consists of Junno, Ueda and Maru. Then later on their road manager enter their dressing room to brief them on their schedule for the day. But to their surprise he called Jin for him to announce an important thing to the group.

Jin: I am going to L.A.! (with conviction)

As if a bomb was dropped in that room and killed everybody inside. I died at that moment. I never saw that coming.

Koki: Nande? We’ve just debuted? What about the band? What about us?

Jin stood there silently and don’t have any intention to look on Kame’s directions.

Maru: When will you leave?

Ueda: Maru, why do you ask him that? Are you not upset that he is leaving us?

Maru: Of course I am. I am furious right now. I want to punch him till he faint. But we all know him. Nothing will change his decision anyway. I just want not to prolong the agony.

Jin: I am leaving this Saturday.

Junno: Did you think about us when you made that decision?

Jin: Gome

He bows down before them.

Kame: So you think bowing before us will ease the pain and the confusion we are experiencing right now? You know that you have a lot of explaining to do and you choose to be in silence! Who are we to you anyway?

Jin remained in that position. He knew exactly that there is more to those words than it is. But he decided not to speak anymore because he knew Kame’s heart broke the most when he drop the news to the group. He stood again as soon as he knew that they all left.

Manager: Why are you carrying the blame alone?

Jin: As far as I know this part of this argument is close already when I said yes to this foolishness.

Their manager sees blazing fire from Jin’s eyes and he knew how dangerous he could be when he is at this state. So he never continued asking and left him already.

The news spread in Japan as soon as the group was informed about it and the company remained silent about this. As soon as Pi heard it, he immediately confronted Jin about this. He found Jin in their dressing room alone.

Pi: What is this all about? How come that you didn’t tell us about this sooner?

Jin: I will tell you about it but Johnny-san told me that he will be the one to tell you about it.

Pi: Since when did you let Johnny-san give a damn about what you say or do?

Jin: Since this day!

Pi: I thought you waited for your time to debut? Why now?

Jin: I have other dream as well and I talk about Johnny-san about it and he allowed me to leave.

Pi: How can you be so selfish? How about your band mates?

Jin: You know me already. So you know damn well the answer about that!

Pi: Yeah, I know how selfish bastard you really are that’s why you made this kind of decisions. And I know that I will waste my time talking to you. But, hey, at least I tried it anyway. Good luck to you bro.

Jin: Thanks anyway.

When Pi left, Jin broke down. He punched anything that he can see until he can’t feel his knuckles any longer. Then he realized that his hands are bleeding when aid comes for help to check the commotion that is going on inside their dressing room.

Ryo haven’t heard the news about Jin’s hiatus when Johnny-san informed him that Jin is in the clinic in the building to check his bleeding knuckles. He was getting near the clinic when he heard upper people talking about Jin.

P1: Do you know that Akanishi Jin of KAT-TUN is in the clinic. It seems he broke down in their dressing room and punched everything including their mirrors. That’s why they are treating it now and looking if there are any further damage.

P2: Does it have got to do with him going to L.A.

Ryo was shocked hearing this but he remained still and listens to the conversation further more and use the recorder of his phone to be able to record the conversation to use it when it is needed.

P1: Ok. I will only tell you about it because I trust you but if anything comes out with the media I held you liable ok.

P2: I guess that really is classified, huh?

P1: Yes. Johnny-san wants Kamenashi Kazuya and Akanishi Jin to break them apart. That is all I know other than that I don’t know nothing.

Ryo left the place before he got caught and go check on Jin about it.

Jin is surprised to see Ryo outside the clinic.

Ryo: Hi! (with a sincere smile in his face and look to the hands of Jin that is wrap already in gauze.

Jin sniffs, scratches his nose like he used to and say hi back to his friend.

Ryo: What happened to your hands?

Jin: I don’t know. I just found it bleeding.

Ryo: Look, about you going to LA…..

Jin: Please if you will talk about stopping me as well like Pi, stop already. I don’t have the energy to talk about it.

Ryo: I know everything.

(Jin was shocked hearing this)

Ryo: I heard the conversation of two baka about it. Why do you have to sacrifice? Why can’t you say to Johnny-san won’t that being close to Kame will not hurt your group.

Jin: I already tried that but you know Johnny-san. He won’t hear any explanation. Besides he worked hard to be able to reach his status right now and besides……

Ryo: Are you not doing the same thing?

Jin: I know and besides having all this rumors that might ruin my career and might affect the group I think it is the best for everyone.

Ryo: This is not fair! We all know that they are only rumors and will die easily.

Jin: Yabero kudasai. I am so tired already.

Ryo: Ok. I won’t talk anymore. I think you decided already. Don’t forget that you are not alone in this.

Jin: One more favor Ryo. Can you not tell anyone about this.

Ryo: But how about Pi?

Jin: He won’t going to believe you anymore he heard the news already and he is fuming mad @ me right now.

Ryo: Because you didn’t tell him the truth.

Jin: Please?

Ryo: Alright I won’t say a word to anyone.

Jin: OK. Now join me and have fun with me for the last time.

Ryo: But your hands?

Jin: Don’t worry about these hands. It won’t kill me!

Ryo: OK. But it is your treat!

Jin: Fine. It is on the house!

Jin is so drunk that Ryo help him to walk and almost carry Jin to his apartment.

Ryo: I told you not to drink too much because you still have a press conference tomorrow.

Jin: I am not drunk. I am just having fun. Don’t I have the right going out with my friend? Is it another rule of Johnny-san that I broke?

Ryo: Uruse! You will disturb your neighbors!

Kame is furiously waiting for Jin. He wants to hear his explanation of all of this. Why does he have to be the one left alone? They are having the best time of their lives so why leave now? He knows that Jin arrived already and he seemed drank because he is laughing non-stop. He confirmed everything when he saw Jin almost fall good thing Ryo catch him before that happened. Jin laughs again and thanks Ryo for it. Then Ryo saw Kame and greet him.

Ryo: Konbanwa!

Jin: Tadaima!

Ryo: Sorry about this! I can’t stop him from drinking.

Kame remained silent.

Ryo: Please whatever it is you want to talk. Do that tomorrow!

Jin: What do we have to talk about?

Ryo: Jin!

Kame: Ok, if you insist. I thought you owe me an explanation!

Jin: No I don’t. I told you everything in the dressing room. Can’t I have a dream of my own? Is it hard to understand? You are not the only one who wants to reach your dream. You reached yours. You have a lot of drama offers more than me. You even debut with Pi and we debut as KAT-TUN what’s wrong with reaching the dream that I can call my own.

Ryo: Yabero. Kame, don’t listen to him he is drunk!

Kame: So that’s it you are just insecure about me having many projects than you are. I thought that it’s ok for you? I thought you are happy for me!

Jin: I thought I am a bad artist that’s why nobody wants me for their drama but it seems for Kame I am so believable. I should try this kind of portrayal.

Kame: So what about us? I mean you and me?
Jin: I am giving you your freedom. Long distance relationship doesn’t work out. We have to widen our horizons any way. I will be meeting may people there any way. I don’t want to hinder myself in mingling with other person having the thought that I left somebody here. That goes the same with you too. So for us to be able to freely fly around we have to give ourselves the freedom.

Kame: So that’s it? You will just throw away what we have. Ok if that’s what you want. You can go to hell for all I care!

Ryo: You can be an ass hole sometimes you know!

Jin: He will thank me later for all you know!

Ryo: Omedetou! Your plan succeeded! Wish you all the luck going to that foreign country.

Now Ryo believe that Jin needed his help and he will do that before his friend left for L.A.

Jin is so tired pretending. He felt that all the energy was drained in his body. He walks in his room and let himself fall in the bed and didn’t even bother to change. That’s what he wants anyway when he lie down in bed he can sleep immediately and his mind will not have any chance to think for a while. Hopefully this drama he created will end before he left.

Then drama begins @ the press conference. Johnny-san is with him @ the back to guard him of what he would say. Jin apologizes to everyone by his decision. He explained to them that he already planned to study abroad but he was given the chance to fulfill his dream just now and to tell them what his band mates feel about this Maru and Junno came. They were chosen to represent the band because they can face the media calmly unlike Ueda and Koki who can’t hold their temper. Maru told the press that of course they were shocked and they argue about Jin’s plan but everybody has his own dream. And if this is what he wants they will support Jin 100 %. They were also asked about what will happen to their group that Jin will leave them. Will they chose to change their name and what will would it be? They answered that it is not that Jin is really leaving the group permanently he will just go out of the country to study and he promised to go back to perform with us. He will work his ass there and we’ll work here as well so there is no reason to change the name of our group. Jin was asked about how did Kame took the news. How did he say goodbye to each other. He has to be an actor now and be creative.

Jin: We talk thru the phone about it. There is nothing special just saying goodbye to a dear friend.

Maru: We actually have a letter from him to you.

Jin tries to look if there is really something in that paper. He was being shoved by Maru saying that he is so close.

Maru read the letter. Telling him that they will wait for his return and wishing him all the luck. After reading the letter Jin laugh and sarcastically joke that even at this time he can still have good words to say. He doubt about the letter of that is really from Kazu or one that is created only by Johnny to maintain the good image of the group after what happened last night. Then they bid goodbye to their audience. To Jin’s surprise Maru tap his shoulder and talks to him.

Maru: For whatever its worth, you have to promise me that you have to fulfill your dream. You have sacrificed a lot of dreams not only yours but our dreams as well. So you don’t have any right not to finish your studies because you don’t like it anymore ok!

Jin: Hai! (teary eyed)

Junno didn’t say anything just smiled and tap his other shoulder as well.

Jin: Arigato!

Pi: Earth calling Nishikado Ryo! Moshi moshi?

Ryo: Nani?

Pi: You’ve been silent for so long? What’s wrong?

Ryo: Bezini.

Pi: Let’s just have fun and enjoy the night because tomorrow my baka tomodachi will leave us for a long time.

Ryo: Are we not going to drink with him?

Pi: You are thinking about that selfish bastard?

Ryo:Yabero. You know nothing so please stop whining!

Pi: Enlightened me!

Ryo: I wish I can.

Pi: Because you know nothing as well!

Ryo: Jin was right. You will not listen anyway. I better leave than to enjoy somebody’s agony.

Pi: Try me.

Ryo look in Pi’s eyes if he is sincere about it. He felt the sincerity of his friend so he told him anyways. Hell with his promise. He will apologize to Jin later. He just can’t stay calm and let his best friend suffer for something he did not do.

Ryo: Johnny-san wants to break Jin and Kame apart.

Pi laughs hearing this from him.

Pi: Did Jin tell you that? Ha…ha…ha…. And you believed him?

Ryo: First, it is not funny and second he did not tell me anything.

Pi looks @ his friend if he is really serious about this. Seeing his looks right now, he is convinced he is telling the truth.

Ryo: You know what forget it. It’s useless…..

Pi: Ok, ok I believe you. Start spilling it so we can all straight things up before he left for L.A.

Ryo uses his last resort and bring out his phone and play the recorded conversation of the two stupid employees in Jimusho.

Pi was shocked and even blamed Ryo, why didn’t he tell him early on.

Ryo: Because I promised Jin not to. But I can’t bear to see him leaving carrying all the blame by himself. He said you would not believe me anyway which is actually true.

Pi: Gome.

Ryo: Wakate. But you should apologize to Jin, not to me. But we have to look for Kame first to explain everything and you will help me do that.

Pi: We have to look for him before Jin could make it to his flight.

Pi tried to call Kame but he is not answering his phone. They tried to look for him in his pad but he is not there. They even ask TTUN’s help. Before they can do that they have to tell them the truth why Jin has to leave. They are not hard to convince as soon as they hand to them the truth they help them seek for Kame. They seek everywhere but failed. Until Ryo and Pi told the rest that they will see Jin and others say that they will continue looking for Kame. Pi and Ryo go to Jin’s apartment and they were surprised to see Kame opening the door for them.

Kame: He is not here.

Pi: What are you doing here? We are looking all over for you? Come, we have to get you see Jin.

Pi grabs his arm and tags him towards his car.

Kame: Nande?

Pi: I’ll explain everything on the road.

Kame shook Pi’s hand off his.

Kame: IE!

Ryo: Ok I understand. Ill let you hear something. Promise me that you will listen.

Ryo open his phone and play the last thing he recorded.

P1: Ok. I will only tell you about it because I trust you but if anything comes out with the media I held you liable ok.

P2: I guess that really is classified, huh?

P1: Yes. Johnny-san wants Kamenashi Kazuya and Akanishi Jin to break them apart. That is all I know other than that I don’t know nothing.

Kame: Nani?

Ryo: You heard everything!

Kame: Oh my god! What have I done?

Pi: We still have time. We still can say our apology to Jin if you will get your ass in the car fast.

Without any word Kame run to the parking lot and enter Pi’s car immediately.

Two hours before the flight Jin is already in the airport. He is together with his family. He did not want them to be there but because this is the first time he will left his family a very long time in a place in a different continent, his family insisted to tag along. Later on Jin is surprised to see TTUN there.

Ueda: Gome!

Jin: Nande?

Koki: Ryo told us everything! Gome!

Junno: Why didn’t you tell us? Maybe we could explain everything to Johnny-san.

Maru hold him up.

Maru: Let us not make this sacrifice hard for Jin. We all knew Johnny-san. He won’t hear anything, when he decided on something.

Jin: Did Kame found out as well?

Koki: We tried to look for him everywhere? He doesn’t bother answering his phone. Maybe he just…..

Kame: Gome! Jin gome nasai.

Kame run towards Jin and hug him tightly. Jin felt Kame is crying because his shirt is getting wet because Kame’s face is in his shoulder.

Kame: Gome. Wakarenai.

Jin(teary-eyed as well): Dai jo bu! Gome because I didn’t have the guts to tell you the truth.

Kame: Wakarimashita! You just don’t want me to get hurt.

Jin: Nothing will change. I am still giving your freedom back.

Kame: Ie. I will wait for you! Wakarimashita, you also want me to wait for you!

Jin: Yes, I want you to wait for me. But please while doing that, have fun ok?!?

Kame: Hai.

Jin can’t control his emotions anymore. He touch Kame’s face and and kissed him passionately. He doesn’t care if someone from the press would see them. He just wants to be selfish just once. Then before his self-control fades, Jin decided to let go.

Jin: Aishteru!

Kame: Aishtemasu! (They hug each other tightly.)
Then their conversation is interrupted by the last call for all the passengers to board the plane already. Jin wave to them and bids goodbye to everyone. The rest just glance on him until he went inside the boarding area.

Six months later, Jin went back. The group and his fans welcomed him with open arms. Cliché as if may seems but as they say the rest is history.

one-shot

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