(no subject)
booo
ive been feeling so shitty lately... this summer is def blowin...
i need a life... other than bath n body works and watchin law n order w/ my nana til 1am... i mean really... not having my car sucks.... and im borrowing money from my lil bro ! haha how sad is that!!!!???
whatever... i dont even care... ive been thinking about a lot lately:
my lack of chillin buddies/ friends
my lack of energy/motivation/dedication/disipline and how much of a loser im starting to become...
i think i want to go away... like away... like hawaii or florida or sumthin.. away from the little i have here and find a new life and just dive into things and lose my fears...
maybe ive been inspired in some weird way by certain people who have and are doing that...
i really wanna go on an mtv show... like real world or road rules... just for the adventure... and the experience
even my own friends have pretty much admitted that yea im a 'different' and 'special' and 'unique' kind of person and i just need to find people who i fit in with better... woot woot yay that makes me feel amazing...
this breath of fresh air is just a little too polluted for my taste and i need some new air...
oh how poetic of me...
another good saying ive come up w/ is: life is shit and life happens... i thought that was good....
i think ive also found a lil faith finally... ive realized that ive made it through a lot and im better off than like 99% of the people ive grown up with... ive bumped into a lot of old "friends" in my adventures to work and etc... and it has opened my eyes... so many are pregnant, drop outs, druggies and any combination of them... and it makes me feel a little bit better... i may be a loser... but im not THEM... i still have a bit of life to live... i often sit back and wonder how did i make it? how did i not go down those roads?
well whatever... all i care about right now is the random and unexplainable emptiness i feel right now... and i cant admit what i think it might be...
noone can help me anymore... a lot of people try and im very thankful to that... if i didnt have my family i dont know where id be right now...
well.. id prolly be chillin at the T w/ my baby and my hoodrat hos talkin bout how soon it will be before my baby daddy gets out from being burned...
ah, at least i still have a sense of humor
heres some pieces from a fathers day card i got for my uncle.. its soo good:
What we learn [from dads]:
Pizza is just as good as cooking
Being smart and being quiet are often the same thing
Respect is earned
and so is money
Of all our senses a sense of humor is the most important
that love is a verb
life is a journey
and no, we're not there yet!
isnt that cute?
ok on that note im out
rock out girl scouts...
any advice or nice words would be appreciated...
but i know most of yall just dont care..