Just a little Long Island flava!
You know you’re from Long Island if…
1. You don’t consider yourself a Long Islander until you leave.
2. You complain about the tap water but drink it anyway.
3. You have serious discussions about the depth of Lake Ronkonkoma (I live two blocks away - I could tell you some stories!!!).
4. New York City is “The City,” and all the others are just imitations.
5. You relate distance to exits on the LIE or Sunrise Highway.
6. You never worried about getting lost because if you hit water you’d just turn around.
7. You think upstate New York isn’t really New York.
8. You avoid the Belt Parkway at all costs.
9. You never, ever want to change at Jamaica.
10. You don’t eat the pizza anywhere else in the world. C’mon, you know it's the only place other than NYC where you can get real pizza.
11. You’ve at least once yelled at a passing car-even if your windows were up and the car was out of sight.
12. Your weekend consists of either watching a movie, going bowling, playing pool, or a combination of the three.
13. You tell people you live close to Billy Joel when you travel.
14. You’re still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut.
15. You actually got mad when they switched Suffolk County’s area code from 516 to 631. (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)
16. You know where every diner within a half-hour drive is.
17. Same with 7-Eleven.
18. You dare your friends to stay a night at Commack Motor Inn. (ha ha ha!! Jungle room or Safari room???)
19. When deciding what to do with your friends, you know you’ll be stopping at an ATM at some point.
20. There’s at least one Mets fan and one Yankees fan in your family.
21. You’ve wondered if construction would ever be finished on the LIE. (it's been like 30 years, it will never end!)
22. Your family/friends make an annual summer trip to Splish Splash.
23. You eventually figure out it’s much easier to take the LIRR into the city rather than drive, so you’ve memorized either the Ronkonkoma, Port Jefferson, or Hempstead timetables. (I perfer to drive, but I do know the Ronk one by heart)
24. You go to Jones Beach Ampitheatre for a concert and have a tailgate party as if it was a Giants game.
25. Jones Beach and Nassau Coliseum are by far the best performing venues.
26. You go to Patchogue for the sole purpose of obtaining Italian ices. (not anymore, they now have a locale in beautiful downtown Ronkonkoma!!)
27. You plan to go to either Port Jeff, Huntington, or Oyster Bay for an evening just to walk around.
28. You refer to roads either by acronyms or route numbers. (25, 112, LIE or 495, 58, 110, 25A, 27)
29. You wish public transportation was more efficient so you didn’t have to spend so much on gas. (10 miles in 3.5 hours, what's wrong with that?)
30. You think about the Long Island Sound and realize you have no idea what a “sound” is in reference to bodies of water.
31. You’ve thought about Long Island and NYC being its own state… called New York, of course, leaving upstate to fend for itself. (hell yeah! screw you Buffalo!!!)
32. You only elect politicians who have a strong New York tradition.
33. You can recognize members of the mob on sight-especially in a pizza place.
34. You always shake your head when you think about P. Diddy living in the Hamptons.
35. You always shake your head when you think about Rosie O’Donnell coming from Commack.
36. Most of your friends decided to go to Suffolk or Nassau community college, SUNY Stony Brook, LIU, or someplace in the city.
37. You’ve seen Yaphank on the train schedule and wondered WHY???
38. You always look out at Coney Island when you pass it-because you’ve stupidly been caught in traffic on Belt Pkwy.
39. You’ve been to some of the most obscure places in the city. For example, all of 8th Ave.
40. You’ve heard a gunshot before OR you’ve never heard a gunshot but tell your friends you have.
41. You have one of those yellow “quacker” things from a Ducks game.
42. You know at least three bands that came from Long Island.
43. You recognize where scenes from “The Godfather” were shot. (the old toll booths where Sonny got killed, Northport where they shot the exteriors for In and Out, the Amityville Horror house)
44. You get excited when WBAB thanks your town for “showing the world they love rock ‘n’ roll!”
45. Multi-tasking in your car on the way to work means being stuck in traffic on the LIE, listening to a radio talk show, drinking your 7-Eleven 20 oz., honking and cursing at the other lanes going faster than you, and applying your makeup.
46. You’ve either flown a plane, sailed a boat, or driven a tractor by age 20.
47. During the summer you either work at the mall, Splish Splash, at a deli, or on a farm.
48. The better part of your family live within a two-hour drive.
49. You read Newsday because it’s the Long Island paper, but you hate watching News 12.
50. You’re deathly afraid Brookhaven National Lab will blow up, or you'll have to work there. Or both.
51. The Superintendent of your school district probably lives in a much better town than you. Like, for instance, Quogue.
52. You or someone you know has gone apple picking.
53. You’re from Western Long Island and everything east is “The East End,” or if you’re from Eastern Long Island and everything west is “Up Island.”
54. You don’t have to look at a road sign to know when you’ve driven into Queens.
55. You just can't get enough of those New York/Long Island jokes.
56. You consistently casually make jokes about your background.
57. You've gone through the drive-thru Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts.
58. Part of your life has been spent wondering why Sunken Meadow turns into Sagtikos (or vice versa) when it reaches the LIE.
59. You realize trailer parks aren't confined to the Deep South.
60. You prefer South Shore beaches by day and North Shore beaches by night.
61. You've eaten fresh seafood at least once, even if you didn't like it.
62. You know what King Kullen is.
63. You've been to the Riverhead Blues Festival, Bradstock or Oktoberfest.
64. You or someone you know swears they just saw a famous person in a supermarket.
65. You find yourself tawkin' like this. (“Whadya tawkin' about I got an accent?”)
66. Every conversation ends with a needless "yo' mama" joke.
67. You ever went over Bald Hill and didn't realize it.
68. You've been to Holtsville Ecology Center or Long Island Game Farm.
69. You've needlessly driven the entire length of Vets' Highway because you missed a turn and didn't know it.
70. You've ever wondered where Theatres Two and One are.
71. You want to take a train from Ronkonkoma to Greenport just to do it.
72. You go see "A Christmas Carol" at Theatre Three year after year out of habit.
73. "Fuhggedaboudit!" becomes not just a saying, but a way of life.
74. You or someone you know has worked at a fast-food restaurant.
75. You've always wanted to go to Plum Island, even though you can't.
76. You've waited in line at the DMV for an hour only to discover when you got to the teller that you needed to fill out a form and get back on line.
77. You’ve wondered, “What's the big deal about the Hamptons anyway?”
78. You've tried to find the Amityville horror house. (been there, done that - numerous times!)
79. You remember the days of LILCO. (bastards)
80. You've been to at least one BLI Summer Jam.
81. You wait all year for the day that tickets go on sale for Jones Beach Summer Series.
82. You consider paying $1.85 for gas when you're not on LI "cheap". ($1.85 - Oh My God I Would DIE for $1.85 Gas!!!)
83. You've tried to figure out the places sung about in Billy Joel songs.
84. You or someone you know has gotten a pet from the North Shore Animal League.
85. You've heard of the HOV lane. (and bot praised and cursed it)
86. You can pronounce Massapequa, Quogue, and Ronkonkoma.
87. You had or went to a birthday party at Spaceplex or Amazin' Skates.
88. You leave the Island and you realize just how incompetent other drivers are.
89. You used to watch the EAB Christmas Tree lighting with pride-or you've actually been to it.
90. You’ve been to Port Jefferson during the “off-season.”
91. You know that there are two traffic circles in Riverhead, and why.
92. You're still waiting for the Jets and Giants to come back to New York.
93. Same with the Dodgers.
94. You have an inherent grudge against New Jersey.
95. Everyone thinks it’s the coolest thing being from Long Island except you.
96. You go fishing out of habit and sometimes out of necessity. (we survived for two years after the air traffic controller strike in 81 on what my dad caught)
97. You know Long Beach has better waves than Jones Beach.
98. You know what a “regular” coffee is. (one milk, two sugars)
99. You return after being away for a while and the first things you want are a “real” pizza and a “real” bagel.
100. You’re not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
101. Someone bumps into you and you immediately check your wallet.
102. You've gotten lost because, mysteriously, there are very few street signs on major roads.
103. You've had to explain to people from Brooklyn that they are on Long Island.
104. You used the 'Star Gazer' sculpture on 111 as a landmark on the way to the Hamptons. (or the duck.)
105. You remember when the Broadway Mall was called Mid-Island Plaza. (and it still sucked!!!)
106. You know that 25A is Northern Blvd., N. Hempstead Tpk., Main St., Ft. Salonga Rd., St. Johnsland Rd., N. Country Rd., and Parker Rd. and that 25 is Jericho Tpk., Middle Country Rd., and Main Rd.
107. You dated a NY Islander in the ‘80s or you know someone who did.
108. You remember when WLIR was WDRE, and then was WLIR that played rock even before that.
109. You also remember WAPP, and the commercial free summer.
110. You've fallen asleep on the LIRR and have ended up in some God-forsaken place at 2am (like Oyster Bay) with no trains coming ‘til 5:30am. (greenport for us Ronkonkoma folks)
111. You live in a town called Hicksville and it doesn’t bother you.
112. You’ve been to the Commack roller rink. (I found $20 there once!)
113. You were distraught when they tore down the flea market in Commack-and built a King Kullen shopping center. (oh the humanity!!!!! bastards!)
114. You’ve been in another state and tried to order garlic knots with your pizza, only to be asked what they were.
115. You've ever gone to a local haunted spot (e.g. Mt. Misery, Kings Park Asylum, Mary's Grave). (hitting the asylum Monday for the first time)
116. You call it a “hero,” not a “sub,” “hoagie” or “grinder.”
117. You live in a “room,” not a “ruum.”
118. You know where every movie theatre is within a 30-mile radius.
119. You live for The Sopranos even if you’re not Italian.
120. Sometimes you fight with your neighbors or you’re friends with your neighbors-depends on the time of year.
121. You know where all the Diary Barns are in your school district.
122. You’re the loudest in the store. (me? never!)
123. You’re always complaining about something. (me? never!)
125. You can name every bridge and tunnel through and out of NYC from the Bronx to Staten Island in order, and probably have at least one funny story about each.
126. You can have something other than your ears pierced and people won't look at you like you're crazy.
127. You have a lawn service, pool service, and cleaning woman.
129. You successfully read this entire list because there’s nothing else to do!
130. You've driven down Sweet Hollow Road and were scared out of your mind.
131. You think that a light saying 'don't walk' means "do run!"
133. You can't hear the name "Gulotta" without involuntarily cursing and growling.
134. You miss Nunley's and their carousel and their orange drink.
135. Your morning isn’t complete without Howard Stern.
136. You listen to k-rock and z100.
137. You drive around aimlessly for hours with your car packed out just to see who's out driving around town and who they have in their cars. (cruising down DPA on a Saturday night... niiiice!)
138. Inevitably, you run into someone from your home town every time you leave the state.
139. Dodging traffic on Sunrise Highway (or the LIE or Northern State, for that matter) is a daily activity!
140. You have at some point cruised Deer Park Avenue or Hempstead Turnpike. (DPA!!!!!)
141. You still remember who Joey Buttafuco is. (And you like Amy better than Mary-Jo)
142. You create words such as "shizznit" and "frig" to keep from using real curses.
143. You've memorized where Nassau County turns into Suffolk, and vice versa. (on the LIE its right where the roosevelt bank is after the shopping center with the red neon and the cheesy drug store where I once bought nailpolish remover on the way to the city)
144. You would drive up to school in a limo just to give your friends a kick.
145. Your cell phone rings in school, so you go outside the room to answer it and consider this "polite."
146. You consider seeing a Broadway play "no big deal."
147. Your first date is at 12 years and you consider this to be old.
148. You have been to Adventureland 46 times even though you know their rides suck. (plus they kill people)
1. You don’t consider yourself a Long Islander until you leave.
2. You complain about the tap water but drink it anyway.
3. You have serious discussions about the depth of Lake Ronkonkoma (I live two blocks away - I could tell you some stories!!!).
4. New York City is “The City,” and all the others are just imitations.
5. You relate distance to exits on the LIE or Sunrise Highway.
6. You never worried about getting lost because if you hit water you’d just turn around.
7. You think upstate New York isn’t really New York.
8. You avoid the Belt Parkway at all costs.
9. You never, ever want to change at Jamaica.
10. You don’t eat the pizza anywhere else in the world. C’mon, you know it's the only place other than NYC where you can get real pizza.
11. You’ve at least once yelled at a passing car-even if your windows were up and the car was out of sight.
12. Your weekend consists of either watching a movie, going bowling, playing pool, or a combination of the three.
13. You tell people you live close to Billy Joel when you travel.
14. You’re still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut.
15. You actually got mad when they switched Suffolk County’s area code from 516 to 631. (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)
16. You know where every diner within a half-hour drive is.
17. Same with 7-Eleven.
18. You dare your friends to stay a night at Commack Motor Inn. (ha ha ha!! Jungle room or Safari room???)
19. When deciding what to do with your friends, you know you’ll be stopping at an ATM at some point.
20. There’s at least one Mets fan and one Yankees fan in your family.
21. You’ve wondered if construction would ever be finished on the LIE. (it's been like 30 years, it will never end!)
22. Your family/friends make an annual summer trip to Splish Splash.
23. You eventually figure out it’s much easier to take the LIRR into the city rather than drive, so you’ve memorized either the Ronkonkoma, Port Jefferson, or Hempstead timetables. (I perfer to drive, but I do know the Ronk one by heart)
24. You go to Jones Beach Ampitheatre for a concert and have a tailgate party as if it was a Giants game.
25. Jones Beach and Nassau Coliseum are by far the best performing venues.
26. You go to Patchogue for the sole purpose of obtaining Italian ices. (not anymore, they now have a locale in beautiful downtown Ronkonkoma!!)
27. You plan to go to either Port Jeff, Huntington, or Oyster Bay for an evening just to walk around.
28. You refer to roads either by acronyms or route numbers. (25, 112, LIE or 495, 58, 110, 25A, 27)
29. You wish public transportation was more efficient so you didn’t have to spend so much on gas. (10 miles in 3.5 hours, what's wrong with that?)
30. You think about the Long Island Sound and realize you have no idea what a “sound” is in reference to bodies of water.
31. You’ve thought about Long Island and NYC being its own state… called New York, of course, leaving upstate to fend for itself. (hell yeah! screw you Buffalo!!!)
32. You only elect politicians who have a strong New York tradition.
33. You can recognize members of the mob on sight-especially in a pizza place.
34. You always shake your head when you think about P. Diddy living in the Hamptons.
35. You always shake your head when you think about Rosie O’Donnell coming from Commack.
36. Most of your friends decided to go to Suffolk or Nassau community college, SUNY Stony Brook, LIU, or someplace in the city.
37. You’ve seen Yaphank on the train schedule and wondered WHY???
38. You always look out at Coney Island when you pass it-because you’ve stupidly been caught in traffic on Belt Pkwy.
39. You’ve been to some of the most obscure places in the city. For example, all of 8th Ave.
40. You’ve heard a gunshot before OR you’ve never heard a gunshot but tell your friends you have.
41. You have one of those yellow “quacker” things from a Ducks game.
42. You know at least three bands that came from Long Island.
43. You recognize where scenes from “The Godfather” were shot. (the old toll booths where Sonny got killed, Northport where they shot the exteriors for In and Out, the Amityville Horror house)
44. You get excited when WBAB thanks your town for “showing the world they love rock ‘n’ roll!”
45. Multi-tasking in your car on the way to work means being stuck in traffic on the LIE, listening to a radio talk show, drinking your 7-Eleven 20 oz., honking and cursing at the other lanes going faster than you, and applying your makeup.
46. You’ve either flown a plane, sailed a boat, or driven a tractor by age 20.
47. During the summer you either work at the mall, Splish Splash, at a deli, or on a farm.
48. The better part of your family live within a two-hour drive.
49. You read Newsday because it’s the Long Island paper, but you hate watching News 12.
50. You’re deathly afraid Brookhaven National Lab will blow up, or you'll have to work there. Or both.
51. The Superintendent of your school district probably lives in a much better town than you. Like, for instance, Quogue.
52. You or someone you know has gone apple picking.
53. You’re from Western Long Island and everything east is “The East End,” or if you’re from Eastern Long Island and everything west is “Up Island.”
54. You don’t have to look at a road sign to know when you’ve driven into Queens.
55. You just can't get enough of those New York/Long Island jokes.
56. You consistently casually make jokes about your background.
57. You've gone through the drive-thru Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts.
58. Part of your life has been spent wondering why Sunken Meadow turns into Sagtikos (or vice versa) when it reaches the LIE.
59. You realize trailer parks aren't confined to the Deep South.
60. You prefer South Shore beaches by day and North Shore beaches by night.
61. You've eaten fresh seafood at least once, even if you didn't like it.
62. You know what King Kullen is.
63. You've been to the Riverhead Blues Festival, Bradstock or Oktoberfest.
64. You or someone you know swears they just saw a famous person in a supermarket.
65. You find yourself tawkin' like this. (“Whadya tawkin' about I got an accent?”)
66. Every conversation ends with a needless "yo' mama" joke.
67. You ever went over Bald Hill and didn't realize it.
68. You've been to Holtsville Ecology Center or Long Island Game Farm.
69. You've needlessly driven the entire length of Vets' Highway because you missed a turn and didn't know it.
70. You've ever wondered where Theatres Two and One are.
71. You want to take a train from Ronkonkoma to Greenport just to do it.
72. You go see "A Christmas Carol" at Theatre Three year after year out of habit.
73. "Fuhggedaboudit!" becomes not just a saying, but a way of life.
74. You or someone you know has worked at a fast-food restaurant.
75. You've always wanted to go to Plum Island, even though you can't.
76. You've waited in line at the DMV for an hour only to discover when you got to the teller that you needed to fill out a form and get back on line.
77. You’ve wondered, “What's the big deal about the Hamptons anyway?”
78. You've tried to find the Amityville horror house. (been there, done that - numerous times!)
79. You remember the days of LILCO. (bastards)
80. You've been to at least one BLI Summer Jam.
81. You wait all year for the day that tickets go on sale for Jones Beach Summer Series.
82. You consider paying $1.85 for gas when you're not on LI "cheap". ($1.85 - Oh My God I Would DIE for $1.85 Gas!!!)
83. You've tried to figure out the places sung about in Billy Joel songs.
84. You or someone you know has gotten a pet from the North Shore Animal League.
85. You've heard of the HOV lane. (and bot praised and cursed it)
86. You can pronounce Massapequa, Quogue, and Ronkonkoma.
87. You had or went to a birthday party at Spaceplex or Amazin' Skates.
88. You leave the Island and you realize just how incompetent other drivers are.
89. You used to watch the EAB Christmas Tree lighting with pride-or you've actually been to it.
90. You’ve been to Port Jefferson during the “off-season.”
91. You know that there are two traffic circles in Riverhead, and why.
92. You're still waiting for the Jets and Giants to come back to New York.
93. Same with the Dodgers.
94. You have an inherent grudge against New Jersey.
95. Everyone thinks it’s the coolest thing being from Long Island except you.
96. You go fishing out of habit and sometimes out of necessity. (we survived for two years after the air traffic controller strike in 81 on what my dad caught)
97. You know Long Beach has better waves than Jones Beach.
98. You know what a “regular” coffee is. (one milk, two sugars)
99. You return after being away for a while and the first things you want are a “real” pizza and a “real” bagel.
100. You’re not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
101. Someone bumps into you and you immediately check your wallet.
102. You've gotten lost because, mysteriously, there are very few street signs on major roads.
103. You've had to explain to people from Brooklyn that they are on Long Island.
104. You used the 'Star Gazer' sculpture on 111 as a landmark on the way to the Hamptons. (or the duck.)
105. You remember when the Broadway Mall was called Mid-Island Plaza. (and it still sucked!!!)
106. You know that 25A is Northern Blvd., N. Hempstead Tpk., Main St., Ft. Salonga Rd., St. Johnsland Rd., N. Country Rd., and Parker Rd. and that 25 is Jericho Tpk., Middle Country Rd., and Main Rd.
107. You dated a NY Islander in the ‘80s or you know someone who did.
108. You remember when WLIR was WDRE, and then was WLIR that played rock even before that.
109. You also remember WAPP, and the commercial free summer.
110. You've fallen asleep on the LIRR and have ended up in some God-forsaken place at 2am (like Oyster Bay) with no trains coming ‘til 5:30am. (greenport for us Ronkonkoma folks)
111. You live in a town called Hicksville and it doesn’t bother you.
112. You’ve been to the Commack roller rink. (I found $20 there once!)
113. You were distraught when they tore down the flea market in Commack-and built a King Kullen shopping center. (oh the humanity!!!!! bastards!)
114. You’ve been in another state and tried to order garlic knots with your pizza, only to be asked what they were.
115. You've ever gone to a local haunted spot (e.g. Mt. Misery, Kings Park Asylum, Mary's Grave). (hitting the asylum Monday for the first time)
116. You call it a “hero,” not a “sub,” “hoagie” or “grinder.”
117. You live in a “room,” not a “ruum.”
118. You know where every movie theatre is within a 30-mile radius.
119. You live for The Sopranos even if you’re not Italian.
120. Sometimes you fight with your neighbors or you’re friends with your neighbors-depends on the time of year.
121. You know where all the Diary Barns are in your school district.
122. You’re the loudest in the store. (me? never!)
123. You’re always complaining about something. (me? never!)
125. You can name every bridge and tunnel through and out of NYC from the Bronx to Staten Island in order, and probably have at least one funny story about each.
126. You can have something other than your ears pierced and people won't look at you like you're crazy.
127. You have a lawn service, pool service, and cleaning woman.
129. You successfully read this entire list because there’s nothing else to do!
130. You've driven down Sweet Hollow Road and were scared out of your mind.
131. You think that a light saying 'don't walk' means "do run!"
133. You can't hear the name "Gulotta" without involuntarily cursing and growling.
134. You miss Nunley's and their carousel and their orange drink.
135. Your morning isn’t complete without Howard Stern.
136. You listen to k-rock and z100.
137. You drive around aimlessly for hours with your car packed out just to see who's out driving around town and who they have in their cars. (cruising down DPA on a Saturday night... niiiice!)
138. Inevitably, you run into someone from your home town every time you leave the state.
139. Dodging traffic on Sunrise Highway (or the LIE or Northern State, for that matter) is a daily activity!
140. You have at some point cruised Deer Park Avenue or Hempstead Turnpike. (DPA!!!!!)
141. You still remember who Joey Buttafuco is. (And you like Amy better than Mary-Jo)
142. You create words such as "shizznit" and "frig" to keep from using real curses.
143. You've memorized where Nassau County turns into Suffolk, and vice versa. (on the LIE its right where the roosevelt bank is after the shopping center with the red neon and the cheesy drug store where I once bought nailpolish remover on the way to the city)
144. You would drive up to school in a limo just to give your friends a kick.
145. Your cell phone rings in school, so you go outside the room to answer it and consider this "polite."
146. You consider seeing a Broadway play "no big deal."
147. Your first date is at 12 years and you consider this to be old.
148. You have been to Adventureland 46 times even though you know their rides suck. (plus they kill people)