the break up and desperation
John and I broke up after my recital. Actually, after dinner, after my recital. John and I got into a fight about laundry on saturday and we never finished it because my cousin showed up, so there was this tension all weekend long. I apologized to him on sunday morning, and he said all was forgiven, but judging by his mood when everyone was gone, that was not the case.
It was mutual. He left to go to his dad's house in Houston. We agreed that we'd keep all the things we both respectively bought, unless it was a gift, and then the gift recipient keeps it. Fair enough.
I'm moving in with Lauren on Thursday.
And John took up trying to convince me that it was wrong for us to break up last night. He's depressed in our apartment because he hates Huntsville, so he said that we could move and it would all be better. Of course, that would be far easier to do than to excavate each other from our lives and get used to not having the other around. But, when I look at that sentence, the one with the idea that moving will make it all better, the more ridiculous it looks. I must remember this moment.
Just because I wanted this a week ago, and still want it now, does not mean that it's not hard for me. I love him, I miss him, I'm used to having him in my life. I feel like I have to learn to walk. I finally cried yesterday afternoon, and then again in the evening.
It was mutual. He left to go to his dad's house in Houston. We agreed that we'd keep all the things we both respectively bought, unless it was a gift, and then the gift recipient keeps it. Fair enough.
I'm moving in with Lauren on Thursday.
And John took up trying to convince me that it was wrong for us to break up last night. He's depressed in our apartment because he hates Huntsville, so he said that we could move and it would all be better. Of course, that would be far easier to do than to excavate each other from our lives and get used to not having the other around. But, when I look at that sentence, the one with the idea that moving will make it all better, the more ridiculous it looks. I must remember this moment.
Just because I wanted this a week ago, and still want it now, does not mean that it's not hard for me. I love him, I miss him, I'm used to having him in my life. I feel like I have to learn to walk. I finally cried yesterday afternoon, and then again in the evening.