'Allo
I'm writing this from my cousin's house. Hope those of you who went to Homecoming had a great time. ^__^ Life stays pretty good for me at the moment. We had pizza for supper, which was awesome. Not quite certain that I'm used to this computer, so if something screws up, I apologize.
I miss everyone....*sighs* I need to have some sort of ScoBowl party again....or maybe just a party. I don't know. I feel like I hardly see some people, while others I see every 50 minutes (give or take a few). I dunno...
I guess I've just been kinda lonely lately. I don't know why. I feel like I can't relate to people. I don't understand them. It's frustrating. I've never understood myself, so that's no big issue, but lately I've started feeling like I don't know what to say to people, don't know how to talk, so all I talk about is insignificant small talk crap that doesn't get anyone anywhere.
I guess I'm supposed to figure myself out before I go and figure other people out. But I've always thought that no one can discover themselves on their own, no one can understand how they work without another's help. In the past I've tried to help other people with this. You don't ever know if you succeed.
Am I being selfish? "I've helped other people, why won't they help me?" I hope that isn't how I'm coming across. I don't mean to be. That isn't what I'm trying to say. I'm not at all certain of what I am trying to say, but I know that it isn't that.
I hate being selfish. I'm a very selfish person, and I hate that. I tell myself, I demand of myself that I not be selfish, but it doesn't work. It's like that bible verse. Paul write about how he does not want to do sinful things, but what does not want to do(sin) he does, and what he does want to do(not sin) he does not do.
That made no sense, and now I'm feeling even worse than when I started.
Screw it all, I'm going to bed.
I miss everyone....*sighs* I need to have some sort of ScoBowl party again....or maybe just a party. I don't know. I feel like I hardly see some people, while others I see every 50 minutes (give or take a few). I dunno...
I guess I've just been kinda lonely lately. I don't know why. I feel like I can't relate to people. I don't understand them. It's frustrating. I've never understood myself, so that's no big issue, but lately I've started feeling like I don't know what to say to people, don't know how to talk, so all I talk about is insignificant small talk crap that doesn't get anyone anywhere.
I guess I'm supposed to figure myself out before I go and figure other people out. But I've always thought that no one can discover themselves on their own, no one can understand how they work without another's help. In the past I've tried to help other people with this. You don't ever know if you succeed.
Am I being selfish? "I've helped other people, why won't they help me?" I hope that isn't how I'm coming across. I don't mean to be. That isn't what I'm trying to say. I'm not at all certain of what I am trying to say, but I know that it isn't that.
I hate being selfish. I'm a very selfish person, and I hate that. I tell myself, I demand of myself that I not be selfish, but it doesn't work. It's like that bible verse. Paul write about how he does not want to do sinful things, but what does not want to do(sin) he does, and what he does want to do(not sin) he does not do.
That made no sense, and now I'm feeling even worse than when I started.
Screw it all, I'm going to bed.