*sigh*

[jennifer_felton]

I have a rare neuromuscular disease, called Freidriech’s Ataxia, which weakens the muscles in my arms and legs. That makes it difficult for me to walk and keep my balance. Most of my classmates say, “I wish I could be in a wheelchair!” But I tell them that it’s not so great to be in one. At night, when I’m laying in bed, I’ll have these vivid visions (not dreams) where I’m at my summer home in the country, walking and running and playing with my cousins. Then it makes me think I actually can walk. So I get out of bed and try, but stumble and fall. That’s when I realize…damn it, I can’t walk! I’ve been working on exercising my muscles to make them stronger, and my goal is to one day walk without any help…even if it’s only for a minute or two. So for those of you who aren’t in a wheelchair like me, be very grateful that you can walk like a normal person. My disease is so rare, only 1 in every 50,000 people in the United States have it. I guess I was really “lucky” on that one.

But I’ll stop babbling on now.
Jenn

You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Subconsciously, you’ve forgotten it. That’s the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, too
Shameful for us to entertain, we reject it.
But the imprint is always there…

Can’t fight it all away…
Can’t hope it all away…
Can scream it all away…
It just won’t fade away…

But the imprint is always there.
Nothing is ever really forgotten.
God, please save me
Because I’m dying too…
Because I’m dying too…