(no subject)
There are seven sins of memory. One of these sins is called persistence. It is the one sin of all the sins that deals with the inability to forget something. Usually people are rewarded for having a good memory and not forgetting information. Persistence seems like it would be a good thing in those cases. However, this sin of memory is called a sin for a reason: it only occcurs when you don't WANT to remember something. It occurs when you repeatedly think of something and can't get it out of your mind. Like a train wreck or a murder. Like a certain person or a certain event. When there is something in your life that you wish you could forget, persistence is there helping you remember...even if you weren't actually there to encode any of the information.
Persistence is an asshole.
Sometimes I wish I could turn my brain off. I wish I was naive again. I wish life really was nothing more than waking up, entertaining yourself, then going back to bed.
I wish that in life people really only did what they wanted to do. I wish I could only do the things I want to do. Only remember the things I want to remember.
Why does everything have to have so much meaning? If doing things for others make you feel that good then aren't you really
just doing it for yourself?
I have mixed up the things I am doing for myself and the things I am doing for others. I can't remember why I am doing anything anymore. All I know is that I am still doing them and I hope I am only doing them for myself, even though I don't think that is the case.