(no subject)
i am feeling very depressed. i want to be in love again. i want to be held at night. i was someone who i can share my life with. i want someone to care about me. it was so hard seeing wes the other night. i wish i could just get over it and be friends with him. i miss his family so much. they were like my own family. i feel so alone down here. my family is all fucked up, and i dont even feel like going home because then it would make everything a reality rather than just something that i can pretend isnt happening. i missed both of my sister's pregnancies. jessie is 8 months preganant with her second baby and i havent even talked to her since i got her one lined email saying "i'm pregnant again. baby due in october" about 5 months ago. i found out that my twin sister is pregnant now. and i will miss all of it again. i'm being so selfish god. she says she is ok with it though, which is good. i dont think they can really afford a baby, but i think it will have two parents who love it very much. and definitely one auntie who lives to fucking far away that loves it too. :(