warning: whining long post
i really dont understand anything that is going on in my life right now. i think this is the first time in a very, very long time that i have not had complete and ordered control over my life. it seems like i'm going through my days in some sort of fast moving bubble. the only constants are the times i wake up and go to bed and my summer class. everything else is just a whirlwind of pointless crap and i couldnt even tell you what i did last week.
i still dont feel like i am moved into my new apt. i got a couch last night, so all i have left to get is a kitchen table which isnt that big of a necessity. maybe i will start feeling better now that my livingroom is completely set up and i can relax in it now. i doubt it. everything is a mess, i still have boxes everywhere, and no matter how much i clean it never looks clean.
maybe it has more to do with me never being at my house for more than an hour at a time. it seems like i wake up, leave for the day usually for 8 or 12 hours at a time depending on the day. if its the 12 hour day then i usually just head straight to bed. if its the 8 hour day, i'm usually out driving and running errands or doing laundry. i think i need two consecutive days of not working - one to get my house in perfect order and then the second to enjoy it before it gets messed up again.
i've been really moody lately, i cant even eat my favorite foods because they taste bad. i think i'm on the verge or a breakdown or something. i wish i could have gone home this summer. i wish i had a core group of friends here. i have groups of people who i enjoy doing different things with, but no one ever ever calls me to hang out. i wish i had a good group of girl friends, or someone to go to buca di beppo and eat chocolate cake.
i need to get my life in order. i will stop whining now :\
i still dont feel like i am moved into my new apt. i got a couch last night, so all i have left to get is a kitchen table which isnt that big of a necessity. maybe i will start feeling better now that my livingroom is completely set up and i can relax in it now. i doubt it. everything is a mess, i still have boxes everywhere, and no matter how much i clean it never looks clean.
maybe it has more to do with me never being at my house for more than an hour at a time. it seems like i wake up, leave for the day usually for 8 or 12 hours at a time depending on the day. if its the 12 hour day then i usually just head straight to bed. if its the 8 hour day, i'm usually out driving and running errands or doing laundry. i think i need two consecutive days of not working - one to get my house in perfect order and then the second to enjoy it before it gets messed up again.
i've been really moody lately, i cant even eat my favorite foods because they taste bad. i think i'm on the verge or a breakdown or something. i wish i could have gone home this summer. i wish i had a core group of friends here. i have groups of people who i enjoy doing different things with, but no one ever ever calls me to hang out. i wish i had a good group of girl friends, or someone to go to buca di beppo and eat chocolate cake.
i need to get my life in order. i will stop whining now :\