I'm trying to figure it all out
I'm feeling pretty good about it though.
I booked my ticket to go home for Christmas. Well, not really Christmas, since my brother has to work. I'm going out the night of the 19th and flying back Christmas eve morning. I really need to just see my family, Jessie, and Jenny (she's going back to NH for rehab there on November 3rd!!!!! her progess is AMAZING.). 6 days there though is going to be ROUGH.
I'm staying here for Thanksgiving, and will be around xmas eve and xmas. I'll probably work at the bar those days. Might as well make money, right? I can't decide about New Years though. I can work, get boozy for free, and make some good money, but have to fight drunks for cabs at 2:30am, or I can go to see the Lawrence Arms. hm. I haven't done anything awesome for New Years in a while, so I might request off from the bar, but it's tough and it probably means I'll work New Years day, which is torturous since it is dead and I'd be hungover. I got time to figure that out.
Eric and I got in a stupid fight last night. Sometimes it's hard being friends with your ex, even if you broke up two years ago. The fight was over and done within 2 hours. I'm lucky that he deals with my little juvenile fits well, and he's lucky that I deal with his flakiness well. He still on for being my date to Shannon's wedding next weekend, which should be a blast. And he goes off the Coumadin soon (he had a blood clot in his leg months ago and has been on blood thinners since- I tell him that he's like a 65 year old man) which means he can drink at the wedding. His tolerance will be, as he put it "that of a 98 pound sorority pledge." Hilarity should ensue.
I'm really excited to go to NYC this weekend. I told Lauren that I need to recharge my jackass battery. Every time I come back from the East Coast I feel refreshed, like my priorities have been straightened out. especially if I hang out with Jessie. David will have to do this time :) too bad he volunteered us to help his friend move on Saturday. In Queens. Bah. He says I don't have to, but that 'it will be fun.' Yeah, manual labor on vacation is a blast. I may take the day to go meet up with other people instead.
I had a real heart to heart with my mom last night about some family things. I guess my 21 year old cousin found a large mass in one of her breasts. She was infected with e coli when she was little so she always went to the same hospital in NH but just recently moved down to South Carolina. She's headed back north to go to the hospital that she's comfortable with to have them chek it out. The doctor she spoke to had her describe it and he thinks it probably isn't a cancerouse tumor, but they won't know for sure until she gets it checked out. Sucks. she went through a lot when she was little, so to have something happen again to her is just awful. Like I said though, we're hoping it's not too serious. Also, Mom told me about some shitty people that were trying to take advantage of my grandmother who is way too generous for her own good, and heading towards senility, so I got really pissed off. If I see them at Christmas, there will be hell to pay.
Then I talked to my brother and we talked about Dad a bit. My brother is again not speaking to him, because my father came to NH and blew my brother off yet again to go drink with his 'buddies' and hang out with his horrible ex. My brother wrote dad a 4 page letter about his alcoholism and the people he chooses to spend his time with. We've tried talking to him, but we just get sworn at, or told we're 'jealous' or hung up on, so this is really our only way of trying anymore. We talked about me writing one too and sending them at the same time. We'll probably get nasty voicemails, but it's hard to care about someone and allow them to slowly destroy themselves without saying something. He thinks I don't talk to him because I don't care, when in reality it's just the opposite.
I've decided that some friendships aren't worth saving. I've also decided that some friendships are.
And I've been dipping my toes in the water lately, but running away because it's so deep and cold. Now I'm going to dive right in ;)
I booked my ticket to go home for Christmas. Well, not really Christmas, since my brother has to work. I'm going out the night of the 19th and flying back Christmas eve morning. I really need to just see my family, Jessie, and Jenny (she's going back to NH for rehab there on November 3rd!!!!! her progess is AMAZING.). 6 days there though is going to be ROUGH.
I'm staying here for Thanksgiving, and will be around xmas eve and xmas. I'll probably work at the bar those days. Might as well make money, right? I can't decide about New Years though. I can work, get boozy for free, and make some good money, but have to fight drunks for cabs at 2:30am, or I can go to see the Lawrence Arms. hm. I haven't done anything awesome for New Years in a while, so I might request off from the bar, but it's tough and it probably means I'll work New Years day, which is torturous since it is dead and I'd be hungover. I got time to figure that out.
Eric and I got in a stupid fight last night. Sometimes it's hard being friends with your ex, even if you broke up two years ago. The fight was over and done within 2 hours. I'm lucky that he deals with my little juvenile fits well, and he's lucky that I deal with his flakiness well. He still on for being my date to Shannon's wedding next weekend, which should be a blast. And he goes off the Coumadin soon (he had a blood clot in his leg months ago and has been on blood thinners since- I tell him that he's like a 65 year old man) which means he can drink at the wedding. His tolerance will be, as he put it "that of a 98 pound sorority pledge." Hilarity should ensue.
I'm really excited to go to NYC this weekend. I told Lauren that I need to recharge my jackass battery. Every time I come back from the East Coast I feel refreshed, like my priorities have been straightened out. especially if I hang out with Jessie. David will have to do this time :) too bad he volunteered us to help his friend move on Saturday. In Queens. Bah. He says I don't have to, but that 'it will be fun.' Yeah, manual labor on vacation is a blast. I may take the day to go meet up with other people instead.
I had a real heart to heart with my mom last night about some family things. I guess my 21 year old cousin found a large mass in one of her breasts. She was infected with e coli when she was little so she always went to the same hospital in NH but just recently moved down to South Carolina. She's headed back north to go to the hospital that she's comfortable with to have them chek it out. The doctor she spoke to had her describe it and he thinks it probably isn't a cancerouse tumor, but they won't know for sure until she gets it checked out. Sucks. she went through a lot when she was little, so to have something happen again to her is just awful. Like I said though, we're hoping it's not too serious. Also, Mom told me about some shitty people that were trying to take advantage of my grandmother who is way too generous for her own good, and heading towards senility, so I got really pissed off. If I see them at Christmas, there will be hell to pay.
Then I talked to my brother and we talked about Dad a bit. My brother is again not speaking to him, because my father came to NH and blew my brother off yet again to go drink with his 'buddies' and hang out with his horrible ex. My brother wrote dad a 4 page letter about his alcoholism and the people he chooses to spend his time with. We've tried talking to him, but we just get sworn at, or told we're 'jealous' or hung up on, so this is really our only way of trying anymore. We talked about me writing one too and sending them at the same time. We'll probably get nasty voicemails, but it's hard to care about someone and allow them to slowly destroy themselves without saying something. He thinks I don't talk to him because I don't care, when in reality it's just the opposite.
I've decided that some friendships aren't worth saving. I've also decided that some friendships are.
And I've been dipping my toes in the water lately, but running away because it's so deep and cold. Now I'm going to dive right in ;)