That 70s Show fanfic: Homecoming (15)
Homecoming
by jennickels (aka Jen Connelly)
That 70s Show
Jackie/Hyde
23,369 words
rating: PG-13
Twenty years ago Hyde left Point Place without so much as a look back. What happens when he suddenly finds himself back in town and trying to restart his life? Will his friends take him back?
don't own... wish I did, but I don't. No infringement intended.
Chapter 15: Don't Do Anything I Wouldn't Do
Steve and Hyde were playing a NASCAR game on the Playstation when Jackie walked into the living room.
"What the hell, man," Hyde yelled at Steve. "You did that on purpose."
Steve chuckled. "They call him the Intimidator for a reason."
"That wasn't intimidation-you put me in the wall." The argument lasted a few more minutes until Hyde finally drove his car into Steve's ending the race for both of them. Jackie had silently walked over and sat between them on the couch.
"Not another racing freak," she muttered, rolling her eyes. Steve got up and turned the game off.
"I gotta go get ready for work," he called as he took the stairs two at a time. Hyde picked up the remote and flipped through the channels while Jackie quietly looked at a magazine. Hyde turned towards Jackie and opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind. He didn't want to ruin this the moment. The two of them sat there as if Hyde had never left, like they had spent their entire lives together on that couch.
Finally Hyde found a Brewers game and settled into the couch to watch. He wiped the condensation off the can of Coke Steve had gotten him. Jackie continued to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Without even thinking, Hyde reached over and brushed a stray strand of hair out of Jackie's face. Just then Steve appeared in the doorway. He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at his parents. Hyde pulled his hand back quickly, a little embarrassed at being caught in such an intimate and inappropriate action.
"Um, I'm going to work now," Steve said, still eyeing Hyde.
"Okay, honey. Will you be home for dinner tonight?" Jackie asked, not looking up from her magazine.
"Uh, no. Me and the guys are going out tonight."
"Oh, all right, sweetie. I'll see you in the morning then." Steve grabbed his keys from a small dish on top of the TV and walked over to kiss his mom good-bye. Hyde smiled at him then leaned a little closer towards Jackie, his arm stretched out along the back of the couch.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he said. He absently rolled the edge of Jackie's collar between his fingers, watching Steve with a little half smile.
Steve grunted. "Funny, I was just going to say the same thing to you two."
"Huh? What?" Jackie asked, finally looking up from her magazine. She looked from Steve to Hyde and back again. There was a honk out side and Steve gave Jackie one more quick kiss on the cheek.
"That's Mikey. See you later."
After Steve left, Jackie glanced over at Hyde then went back to reading her magazine. Hyde realized he was still playing with her collar and willed himself to stop. So this is what it would have been like, he thought. I could have gotten used to this. Jackie's hair was pulled back into a sloppy bun and pieces kept falling back around her face. Hyde liked it. He had always liked it when Jackie didn't wear makeup. He never would have told her that back then because she would have gotten mad and spent an hour explaining the differences between eye liner and eye shadow or some nonsense like that.
"Would you quit doing that?" Jackie asked, not looking at him.
Hyde jerked his hand back. He had been about to push another stray hair out of her face. "What?"
"Staring at me. You're creeping me out." Hyde pulled his arm out from behind Jackie and leaned on his knees. He flipped the tab on his can until it broke off. He glanced sideways at Jackie and was sure he saw her looking back.
"Why'd you have to go and tell Donna about the slippers?" he asked. Jackie burst out laughing and tossed her magazine down. "It's not funny. She wouldn't shut up about it all morning." Jackie tried to stifle her laughter but she wasn't doing a good job.
"I'm sorry, Steven, I couldn't help myself. Donna wanted to know how dinner went and I couldn't tell her that we…" Jackie got up and went into the kitchen. Hyde sat a minute listening to her rummage through the cupboards.
"Couldn't tell her what?" he asked, following her into the kitchen.
"I couldn't tell her anything. I don't remember. You got me drunk and probably took advantage of me," she said spinning around to face him. She tried to sound angry, but Hyde could see in her eyes that she was more embarrassed then anything. He was too.
"You really don't remember anything, huh?" he asked moving closer to her.
"Nope nothing." Hyde could tell now that she didn't mean it. She was trying to hide her grin by pretending to do the dishes.
"Absolutely nothing?"
"That's what I said." Hyde moved closer to her. Her hair brushed against his face and he felt a shiver run down his back. He put his hands on the counter on either side of her. Jackie tried to move away from him but he just stepped closer. Their bodies were touching now and Hyde tried to even his erratic breathing. His heart was pounding and every little touch of her skin on his sent tingles throughout his body.
"So that's your story?" Jackie nodded, concentrating on a stain in the sink. Hyde couldn't stand it anymore. He pulled her hair away from her neck and kissed her softly. Jackie gasped and dropped the sponge she had been using.
"Steven," she sputtered, "I, uh, I don't think this is, uh…a good idea."
"Why not?" he whispered.
"Because it's not. I can't trust you Steven and I can't be with someone I can't trust." Hyde backed away a little so Jackie could turn around and look at him. Hyde saw that she was trying to hold back tears. He felt like his chest was collapsing, it was so hard to breath.
"What can I do to earn your trust again?"
"I don't think there is anything you can do. I'll never trust you, or any guy, again. Having your heart ripped out during your most vulnerable time is kind of hard to forget. I don't think I can ever forgive you for that." Hyde rubbed the back of his neck. A knot had formed in his stomach again and he felt sick. Sighing, he turned away from her. There was no way he could hide the pain in his eyes and he didn't want her to see that. After a moment of silence Jackie asked, "why did you take me to the point?"
Hyde shrugged. "I don't know," he lied. "It was kind of force of habit. Why did you kiss me?" He turned back around to face her. She was still leaning against the sink but wasn't crying anymore. She looked down at her stocking feet, wiggling her toes. Jackie didn't answer. Hyde lowered his voice and asked, "you going to tell me you didn't feel anything this time too?" Jackie looked up into his eyes then quickly looked away.
"You said you didn't feel anything last time either," she mumbled.
"I lied." Jackie took a deep breath. Hyde wasn't sure if she was going to cry or hit him. "Jackie, I can't stand this. I know you want to punish me, or what ever, but…," he trailed off when he noticed Jackie was crying again. He sighed. She was driving him nuts. One minute they were laughing and joking and the next she was bawling her eyes out. He gave up fighting with himself and pulled her into a hug. He was surprised when she didn't struggle. She just slid her arms around his waist. Hyde rested his chin on her head. "I'm sorry Jackie. Just give me a chance, please."
Say it, he told himself. He had been gone for twenty years and it had only taken a week for him to fall in love with her again. What the hell was it about her that made him go nuts? Why was it that he could never bring himself to tell her how he really felt, even now, after all these years. Because I'm afraid I'll lose her, he thought, and it will hurt more if I admit how I feel. Hyde shook his head. It sounded so stupid. But he still couldn't get the words out.
"Jackie," he finally said, "can I ask you something? Do you hate me?"
Jackie pulled away and looked up at him with her big eyes. "No," she said after a moment.
"Then there is always a chance you could learn to trust me again." Jackie turned away from him and started crying again. So that was it, he thought, now I am stuck living in the same town as her and not being able to be with her. That's karma, for you. He started calling himself every horrible name he could remember. He was so far into his pity party he hadn't noticed Jackie turn back to him. Before he knew what was going on she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him sweetly on the lips. Hyde inhaled slowly, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.
"I loved you Jackie. I want you to know that. I loved you more then any other person and that's why I left. It was a misunderstanding but… I was so wrong. I should have trusted you then and waited to talk to you. I was so stupid, so selfish. All I could think of was how much it hurt and I didn't want to feel that anymore so I left. It didn't make the pain go away, though. Nothing had, not even a marriage and a family. I drove into town two weeks ago with an emptiness eating away at me. I didn't think anything would ever make me feel whole and then…you kissed me." He couldn't believe he had just said all of that to her face. It had taken him years to just admit it to himself and now he was blubbering about it to Jackie.
"I…felt the same thing," she murmured. "Steven, I want to be with you with all my heart. I never stopped loving you, or thinking about you all this time, but, I can't forget how much you hurt me. It's like my brain keeps getting in the way of what my heart wants."
"Screw our brains. That was what got me in this mess in the first place. If I had just listened to my heart I would have told you how much I loved you back then and we would be married now and Steve would have grown up with a dad."
"You would have married me?"
Hyde swallowed hard. He hadn't meant to bring up marriage. He had spent half his life trying not to think about it-not thinking about the ring he had bought. He still had it. He had tried to throw it away once but ran back to the trash can and dug it out.
"Jackie, I would have done anything -"
"Except wait for an explanation."
"I'm sorry."
"But you really wanted to marry me? I'm just supposed to take your word on it, huh? After all those arguments and you telling me you couldn't picture yourself settling down with any girl-now you're going to try to convince me that you were lying and you were going to marry me? Somehow I don't think I'll ever believe that."
"I had a ring," he said quickly, almost hoping she hadn't heard. She stared, mouth open, like his head had just exploded.
"No you didn't." Hyde pulled out his wallet and removed the plastic insert that held the pictures of Kelly and Karrie. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He pulled the leather back where the insert had been and turned the wallet upside down. The ring dropped out with a ping onto the table. He kept his eyes focused on the ring, not wanting to see Jackie's reaction. She slowly picked it up and examined it.
"Oh, Steven," she cried, throwing her arms around his neck.
"I love you , Jackie," he whispered into her ear. "I wish things had turned out differently." Jackie gazed up at him a huge smile on her face.
"Steven, I always knew you were a softie underneath all that hair and the glasses and the zen. Hyde noticed she had slipped the ring onto the end of her thumb.
"You can keep it. I got it for you," he said.
"But if I keep it what will you use when you finally do get down on one knee?"
"Well for one, I wouldn't be caught dead getting down on one knee, and two, I would get you something nicer. I was pretty cheap back then."
"If you're not going to get down on one knee how am I going to know you are proposing?" Despite the sweat pants and the worn t-shirt she was wearing, and the messy hair, there was still a little of the old Jackie in there. The old Jackie that knew how to manipulate people to get what she wanted. Hyde smiled.
"I guess you'll have to wait and find out, won't you."
Jackie twisted the ring around on her thumb. Hyde noticed she was chewing her bottom lip. He pushed a lock of her hair out of her face. "I can't accept this," she finally said, pulling the ring from her finger. "It's a great fantasy, Steven, but I have to live in reality. I still have a lot of hurt to get through."
Hyde reluctantly took the ring back and sighed. "Does that mean I might still have a chance, then?" he asked.
Jackie looked up at him with a smile. "I haven't asked you to leave yet, have I?" She cupped his face in her small hands and kissed him gently. Hyde felt a weight fall from his heart. He still had hope. It was more then he had hoped for. He had arrived in town a few days ago doubting Jackie would even look at him and now here he was holding her in his arms and he had a chance. He just had to take is slow and not blow it again.
The End